Can I Win Back Your Ex?
GETTING IN TOUCH WITH AN EX-LOVER IS ONE OF THE MOST COMMON QUESTIONS I RECEIVE. They generally have a few distinguishing characteristics:
The guy wants to reunite with his ex, but his ex does not want to or is unsure.
There is a suggestion for a specific occurrence that caused the breakup.
The individual is looking for a remedy that can be used right now: send a text, beg forgiveness, remain firm while waiting for her to call, and so on.
If you let them, breakups may rip you apart. As a result, I’d like to offer my reaction.
I hope it helps you get back on top of the world by igniting a fire beneath your buttocks.
First and foremost…
Obtain the truth about WHY you split up.
Frequently, males will suggest one strike-up talk that concluded the situation. They got into a major fight. They made a few blundering statements. They would very probably still be with this lady if they had chosen their words differently. I’ve got some exciting news for you.
This is most likely to hurt if you feel you and your girlfriend split up over a single disagreement. However, you must hear it.
She didn’t quit because of a person’s POINT, as you claimed. It wasn’t just that one disagreement. That idiotic text. Those ill-advised statements…
It’s tempting to delegate the issue of losing the woman to a one-on-one, out-of-character encounter.
The solution is an aesthetic one. Send a message out. Extend your sincere apologies. Keep doing what you’re doing, and she’ll realize it was all a fluke.
It wasn’t a coincidence. You don’t exist by yourself. Girls do not terminate relationships with terrific partners because of a quarrel or a few careless remarks.
As a consequence of who you are, she departed. She doesn’t want to return since you aren’t outstanding enough to persuade her to stay. This is not an issue that can be solved by reading a text. In a single motion, you cannot transform the essence of your existence.
So put an end to your Hail Mary endeavors. This late in the game, you’re not going to come back with a single desperate maneuver.
Begin addressing greater issues. Like the difference between the man you are and the man you wish to be. As well as your self-esteem and self-confidence.
If you want to have healthy, balanced, and long-lasting relationships with wonderful women, you need to focus on yourself. You must increase your self-esteem. You must improve your social abilities. You must improve your relationship-building abilities.
And you’re a fucking hero if you can deliver a terrific, harsh look at yourself and also acknowledge it.
Get real: why do you want to rekindle your relationship with her after she left you?
What is it that makes you want to go back with her? Is it because she is your one true love and the most precious girl on the planet? Because she is the greatest, attractive, perfectly suited woman for you out of the 3.5 billion women on the planet?
Is it because you’re secretly afraid you don’t have what it takes to obtain another person you really like? If you’re being honest, it’s almost certainly your issue.
Consider this: your desire to date your ex-lover stems from a sense of shortage unless you’re satisfied and dating other great ladies throughout this phase of singleness.
It’s one thing to desire a lady back because you chose her over a slew of other candidates. More common: men obsess over their ex-lovers and also make them into angels since they are unable to find other wonderful ladies.
It’s all a defensive reaction: rather than risking denial by jumping back into the dating pool, you imagine the one woman you realize loved you is a siren. It boosts your self-esteem, aligns with rom-com plotlines, and is complete nonsense. Don’t keep your ego hidden. When you live in a world of shortage, admit it.
Put forth the effort!
So you’ve been honest with yourself about your motivations and feelings.
You understand what motivates them. That takes a lot of courage. Bravo. Now is the time to put in some effort. First and foremost, go out there and reintroduce yourself to the social world. There is no need to delay. Force yourself to strike up a conversation with a lady at a pub or on the road.
This will undoubtedly help you in a variety of ways:
Given that you’re in charge of your dating life, you’ll undoubtedly create a favorable self-image and self-esteem.
It will undoubtedly provide you with brand-new girl/girlfriend referral encounters, ensuring that you do not get fixated on just one.
You can wind yourself having a meeting with someone you like even more than your ex.
What exactly does it imply? Basically, whatever it takes to become a better human being and gentleman. With the 6 Pillars of Self-confidence, you may build self-worth. With How to Win Friendships, you’ll learn how to be exceptional with people. What about the main point?
By focusing on your ability to attract women outside of your social group, you may build bravery, self-confidence, and a wealth philosophy. Strangers, to be sure. The truth is that for many males, the fear of losing control over their love life is the most dangerous cause of instability.
The Anti-Pickup Line was written to document how I got rid of it and to educate other guys how to do the same.
Visiting the gym, enrolling in a martial arts class, taking an improv comedy class, or performing a musical instrument at an open mic night. It may entail completing the 21-day no-grief challenge or perhaps quitting your job and starting a company you adore. I recommend doing something in each of these areas, in addition to honing your social skills.
One of the most painful components of a breakup is the feeling of being unwanted.
Worse, you’re unlovable.
After that, a lot of guys would go about looking for other people’s approval. They’ll implore their ex-lover to rekindle their feelings for them.
That isn’t how it works.
If you want to be loved and want to be deserving of it, do things that will make you proud.
Make yourself into someone you’d love spending time with.
Make it your mission to become someone you adore (which begins today with a commitment to being your best self).