3 Ways You Bore People on Dates.
Do you ever get the impression that your dates are losing interest in what you have to say? This is why I think you might be correct.
A succession of unsuccessful dates may shake anyone’s self-assurance, leading them to question whether or not the problem lies with them. The vast majority of the time, it won’t be you; human relationships are so complicated that it may be any combination of reasons why you’re not making any advance in the dating scene. However, the law of averages dictates that there is a chance that it will be you.
Do you believe you’d make a decent choice for a date?
Do you constantly go out of your way to ensure that your date has a good time? Or have you considered the possibility that your date pattern is lacking that certain something? Although we are not ones to point fingers, there are instances when it is possible that you are just a little bit, well, dull. Continue reading for four ways in which you may be boring your dates into a coma.
Me, me, ME!
Let’s reflect back to the most recent time you went on a date. What specific details do you recall about them? How did they prefer to spend their free time on the weekends? What was the most recent book that they read? If you are unable to respond to any of these questions, it is conceivable that you took control of the discussion.
Dating may be nerve-wracking, and it can be difficult to come up with things to say to each other. It is far simpler to simply speak about yourself when you are feeling uneasy as opposed to asking your date questions and having a genuine discussion with them. It’s possible that talking about things you already know can help soothe your worries, but it won’t help you get to know your date any better.
It’s not that we don’t want you to speak about yourself;
rather, we want you to focus on sharing the specifics that set you apart from everyone else. These things are vital to conveying who you genuinely are, and it doesn’t matter whether you’re an accomplished Tabla musician or if you adore creating your own stained glass artwork. You must, however, ensure that you are engaging in this activity while actually having a conversation with your date, as opposed to talking AT them.
Housebound
Do you avoid parties? Have you tried doing all of your shopping online? You’d rather send an email than really pick up the phone, wouldn’t you say? If you answered “yes” to more than two of those questions, it’s probable that you’ve lost how to communicate with the people and things in the wider world. It’s not hard to do, particularly in our contemporary life when it’s physically conceivable to never leave the home. It’s a simple thing to do.
If this describes you, then there is a good chance that you may seem to be somewhat socially awkward the next time you go out on a date. If you don’t practice talking to people, just like with everything else, you’ll forget how to do it and you’ll start asking the lamest questions, or even worse, you won’t ask any questions at all.
The answer is not complicated: just go out and do it.
You should attend to the next party that you are invited to, start up a conversation the next time you are at the greengrocers, and pick up the phone and contact your buddy rather than sending them an email. You’ll discover that once you get back on your feet, you become a lot more desirable date as well. And who knows, with all of your newly found socializing, you could just end up meeting the person of your dreams!
“Don’t talk to me” is the message being sent.
While you are out and about working on your verbal muscle (see the previous sentence! ), you should also practice projecting the appropriate body language. If you’ve ever tried to have a conversation with someone who’s awkward, you probably already have some idea of how uncomfortable it may make you feel.
A person’s eyes flickering, avoiding eye contact, adopting an awkward posture, and shrugging their shoulders in answer to a question are all telltale signs that they are really uncomfortable. Take a moment to think about it; is it feasible that you behave in this manner when you’re out on a date? If this is the case, you are essentially warning your date to stay away from you, while you aren’t quite going so far as to scream, “Get lost!”
If this describes you, you should explain to your date that you tend to be reserved. If you can manage it, let them know before your date; the majority of people can empathize with emotions of shyness, and as a result, they will understand you better. Take solace in the fact that if you are successful in unwinding while in the company of your date, the situation is only going to become better.
Misery-guts
How do you feel on the inside when you think of dating and the process you go through to find someone who is significant to you? When you think of all the people who may be your soul mates but whom you haven’t yet met, does it make your heart feel lighter? Or do you immediately get a miserable feeling because you persuade yourself that you’ll never meet anyone?
If you have a pessimistic outlook on dating, it is likely that your dates will pick up on this in you as well. It’s true that misery loves company, but there’s no such thing as an attractive person who moans and groans all the time or who always seems to be in a bad mood.
Even if you’ve had the worst day of your life, your date deserves to see the best version of you. Life has a way of throwing crap at us, but your date needs to see the finest version of you. Put on a happy face and make an effort to enjoy yourself to the fullest. The date shouldn’t add to the difficulties of the day; rather, it should serve as an escape from them. As soon as you start to feel better, you’ll start to notice that your dates are starting to react favorably as well.
The good news is that if you believe that you have been killing your dates by boring them to death, you now know how to stop doing so! If you prepare yourself to be the greatest version of yourself on your next date, you can expect to meet the best version of your date as well. And who knows where that could take us…
