What causes the Friendzone?
One of the worst aspects of the Friendzone is that you are generally the last person to realize you are there.
That lady drew your attention the first time you met her. You’ve always wished you could be more than just friends with her. It all began on the first day.
The issue is that you grew pretty close to her and didn’t do anything about it. You prioritized establishing an emotional connection.
There is really considerable sexual tension at moments. There may have been many possibilities for you to move beyond merely being a buddy in the past.
The difficulty is that the more possibilities you let pass you by, the more clear it becomes in the woman’s mind that all you want to do is be friends.
Because that’s what women do in possible relationships, she’ll generally follow your lead… When you fail to capitalize on whatever sexual tension that may have been at the outset, (1) it dissipates, (2) she becomes bored and loses interest, or (3) she concludes that you merely want to be friends. Frequently, it’s a mix of all three.
Why does she seem to be moving on so quickly?
We, males, have no idea how daunting it may be for women to have so many alternatives.
So it’s easy to understand why, from a practical standpoint, women feel compelled to separate individuals into discrete zones. It’s merely routine maintenance for the areas of their brains that control romantic chemistry and attraction. Either you’re interested and it’s a prospective relationship, or you’re not interested and she won’t think of you that way.
It’s easy to place all the responsibility on the woman and say, “Well, she simply tosses males in there automatically.” However, in the vast majority of instances, the culpability falls fully on the shoulders of the men. They were just too sluggish to react, forcing the lady to identify him as such.
You need to get off the barrier as soon as possible. You must pursue this lady after you have decided she is worth pursuing. You must first determine whether or not this lady is worth the danger of seeming foolish, and then you must take that chance.
If you don’t want to wind yourself in the Friendzone, you must first comprehend why it exists. Recognize the patterns in your relationships that lead to you being in that zone so you may make the necessary changes.
Confrontation is something that women despise.
Many males like being kind and pleasant in the hopes that the woman would notice their efforts. They expect that simply by being kind, ladies would be blown away by their niceness and realize how gorgeous they are for themselves.
The males believe that if they are really kind, women will instantly categorize them as relationship material.
What’s the matter with this image?
You’re playing a losing game if you’re going to be nice and hope that ladies will notice your ineffective attempts. Passive efforts result in nothing more than contempt and bitterness when the anticipated prize does not materialize.
You can’t just sit back and wait for everything to fall into place when it comes to dating. That’s like expecting ladies to appear on your doorstep just because you followed the steps one, two, and three in order.
Be straightforward if you’re interested in a lady. Make it plain to her that you want to be more than just friends with her.
Guess what happens if you don’t do it?
Because women are significantly less confrontational than males, they will never tell you that your attempts to win their affections are bound to fail. They’ll simply put you in the Friendzone quietly and hope that everything works out — in other words, that you get the message and leave her alone.
You didn’t make your move while the iron was still hot. You didn’t take any action.
You’ve been squandering chances. It will be increasingly difficult to move out of the Friendzone the more sexual and personal possibilities you pass up. Why? Her impression of you as “simply a buddy” will strengthen and solidify.
It will eventually get to a point when she will be surprised to learn that you are sexually attracted to her.
You’ve enabled your connection to become entirely platonic by playing things gently and enabling women to avoid conflict.
The backdoor gambit of the platonic kind.
This is something you’ve undoubtedly seen in high school. Guys make an effort to be best friends with the women they want. It’s a moniker they nearly ask for and take pride in.
They’ll go to great lengths for a lady, but only in the name of selfless and giving friendship, not in any romantic sense.
They strive to stay under the radar and develop a platonic bond strong enough to turn into a passionate attraction. The lady, on the other hand, is plainly uninterested and just enjoys being pampered and lavished with attention.
The issue is that you didn’t want her to be your buddy in the first place. You were after something else and had a hidden agenda. Because you have deceived yourself, you find yourself seeking something that isn’t actually there.
The platonic backdoor gambit is predicated on a flawed assumption: that mud can be turned into marble.
You must choose ladies who are at least partly interested in having you as a lover if you want to be in a relationship with them. Otherwise, you’ll have a difficult time persuading a lady who isn’t interested in you as a lover to become one by first converting her into a friend.
I’m not implying that the platonic backdoor gambit is ineffective. It has a little possibility of success, but it would be foolish to reject it totally. It is possible for a man and a female to begin as hesitant friends and subsequently become lovers.
But keep in mind that this is the exception rather than the norm; it’s not a sensible strategy to garner the attention you want and need to avoid the Friendzone.