It Is Time to Quit Playing at This Casino.
“There seems to be no need to risk what you have and need for what you don’t have and don’t need. – Warren Buffett
My situation in the casino, where I’ve been confined for the last two years, has been unbearable throughout that time.
When the epidemic first started, I decided to take my money out of index funds in an effort to get an advantage against Mr. Market.
In my quest to beat other investors, I traded everything, including options, leveraged shorts, growth companies, recovery stocks, cryptocurrency, and non-traditional financial instruments (NFTs).
I accomplished the following throughout this time:
A total of over 2,000 purchase and sell orders were executed (around three transactions each day).
Approximately two hours each day were devoted to studying stock charts and watching CNBC.
I’ve spent more than a hundred hours messing around with the spreadsheet for my portfolio.
Spent days scouring Twitter and Discord for any indications they could have missed.
Studying the subject of investing might involve reading thousands of pages.
What do I have to show for the amount of effort and time that I’ve spent?
My portfolio returned twenty percent while the S&P 500 gained eighty-five percent throughout the same time period.
If I had just sat around and done nothing instead of investing over a thousand hours in the stock market, I would be a lot richer now.
However, money might come and leave at any time. The opportunity cost of my quest was far more than the few money I may have made had I chosen a different path. As I spent my whole life working toward the goal of outperforming the market, I was never successful.
My sleep was disrupted because of this.
I lost a lot of sleep over the course of several nights because I couldn’t stop thinking about the market and what would happen the following day.
At three in the morning, I would often find myself wide awake with anxiousness. I would look at the NASDAQ futures market as well as the cryptocurrency market. If the markets were going into a tailspin, I wouldn’t go back to sleep.
The decrease in my productivity was significant.
I wasn’t getting enough sleep, and I had this unhealthy fascination with watching stock tickers, so it was difficult for me to concentrate on any kind of substantive job. When I was having a particularly difficult time with my portfolio, I found that I had less tolerance with my coworkers. Until the markets were closed for the day, I often had trouble concentrating.
My interpersonal ties were negatively impacted. At an earlier stage, the performance of my portfolio had an effect on my disposition. When I made a mistake that cost me money, I immediately became upset. It was difficult for me to pay attention to the folks who were in the room with me. My girlfriend and my friends and family found that I was less pleasant to be around, and I was also less helpful.
My body suffered. I couldn’t tear my eyes away from the stock applications I had opened when the market was open. In particular, while I was trading options, I had the impression that I was unable to look away from the screen. My stress levels rose as a direct result of this, which led to episodes in which I overindulged in sugary foods and alcoholic beverages. I was often unable to participate in things that I like, such as yoga or surfing, since I felt on edge all the time.
My mental state was in a terrible state. When I started associating who I was with a game that was fundamentally unpredictable, I started to feel like a disorganized loser. I felt no serenity. Whenever I had a financial setback, the scarcity mentality that I had developed throughout my formative years would raise to the surface. I despised and detested myself for making choices that resulted in my being in a worse financial situation.
My self-assurance and feeling of self-worth both shattered into pieces. In addition, I had feelings of jealousy as I saw the individuals around me succeed.
The toughest aspect was having to live with the constant feeling of contempt for oneself. Because I always had faith in myself, I was able to accomplish a lot for most of my life. As my performance in the market continued to be lackluster, I found myself beginning to wonder whether or not I was a worthwhile person.
“If I had continued to purchase index funds and spent zero time worrying about markets, not only would I be wealthier and healthier, but I would also be more productive, less worried, a better spouse, and happier.”
I felt like a loser. I just couldn’t escape the sensation that I had messed up my life for no good reason. It just wouldn’t go away. But even though I was experiencing a mixed bag of bad feelings and the repercussions of those emotions on my life, I continued moving forward.
I felt like I was getting closer and closer to success the more I researched and traded; it seemed like it was just around the corner. It would just take a few significant victories for everything to have been worthwhile. I aimed to become an expert player so that I could demonstrate to my friends how I had achieved that status.
On the other hand, this accomplishment was never accomplished. Every time I had a nice victory, the market would go down or I would make a terrible deal, and it would bring me back down to my previous level. The euphoria of a successful transaction would eventually be replaced by the depression of losing positions.
I have an issue
After about one year of engaging in this insanity, I came to the conclusion that I had a problem. Up until that moment, I had the misconception that I was learning how to invest and that the losses I was experiencing were just the price I had to pay for progress down the learning curve.
I should clarify that I was in the process of learning. I became more knowledgeable about managing my own psyche, the various asset classes, position-sizing, and other related topics.
On the other hand, in contrast to the learning I’ve accomplished in other fields, I lacked any kind of concrete plan or concept of what constitutes success. I could not have been satisfied with my level of financial achievement no matter how much I earned.
Investing is a challenging activity due to the fact that it is a never-ending game. You place bets, exit bets, and keep playing. The fact that there is no way to win the game was one of the factors that contributed to the excruciating mental anguish I felt while playing it. There is always the possibility that I may earn more.
It was impossible for me to win without a plan or specific standards to measure achievement against. I was completely oblivious to the nature of the game I was participating in. Due to the absence of clarity, I was subject to the ups and downs of the performance of my portfolio. And there were a significant number of poor points in comparison to positive ones.
After the discomfort had increased to a certain point, I came to the conclusion that I needed to find a solution to my situation. I wasn’t putting money into the stock market. Without a concrete strategy, I was making assumptions and guesses. In addition to this, the overall quality of other aspects of my life suffered as a result.
I was unable to escape the online gambling establishment where I was trapped. And it seemed like the home had a good chance of coming out on top. It became clear to me that the only option for me to emerge victorious from the situation was to concede defeat and exit the casino. I made many attempts over the course of several months to escape the country.
Powerful forces compelled me to remain seated at the slot machine for an extended period of time. The whole of my internal and external worlds compelled me to remain seated there. In order to go, I had to win the battle against the forces that were holding me here.
Isolation and monotony have reached epidemic proportions. Because of the epidemic that was sweeping the globe, I stayed inside my house more often. I reduced the amount of time I spent traveling and hanging out with friends.
The emotional gap that came along with living through a pandemic was partially filled by playing at a virtual casino. Making wagers provided me with a daily activity that kept me entertained and gave me something to anticipate each day.
That which distinguishes me. I was a youngster who lived in poverty in Orlando when I was younger, but I worked hard and eventually found a way to make a good living for myself.
Being responsible for my financial situation was a significant component of my identity. I had even assisted a few of my contemporaries in gaining an understanding of fundamental concepts related to personal finance.
I didn’t want to leave the casino until demonstrated that I could effectively manage my money via active gambling. I wanted to win.
Playing role-playing games with both friends and strangers is always fun. It looked like a lot of my friends and individuals I followed on Twitter were having a lot of success investing in growth companies and cryptocurrencies.
Their accomplishments left me feeling as if my own achievement was not out of the question. When I decided to stop before I could partake in the glory, it seemed like I was admitting that I had less intelligence or that I was less deserving.
a strong desire to amass wealth as rapidly as possible. I allowed myself to give in to my baser urges when I decided that I wanted to quickly enhance my net worth. I believed that by paying such careful attention to the market if I could make a few smart judgments, I might expand my financial independence and cease exchanging my time for money. This led to my paying such close attention to the market.
Concentrating one’s attention on choices made in the past. Because I took my money out of the indexes, I had the feeling that I needed to keep going until I exceeded what they were doing.
I had no intention of giving up until I had successfully outperformed the market. The sunk cost fallacy deterred me from abandoning the endeavor despite the fact that I had already devoted a significant amount of my time and energy to it.
Every time I made an attempt to escape the casino, one of these forces would pull me back in. It was quite hard for me to break the routine of going to the casino on a daily basis to play games since I had become so used to going there.
In order to leave the casino, I had to reshape my identity, give up playing mimetic games, construct new habits, and forgive myself. On their own, these categories might keep a therapist busy for their whole career.
In the sake of gaining control over one’s own time
I’ve made a conscious effort to start letting go of the person I was in favor of the person I want to develop into. This process has been slow but steady.
I’m not quite there yet, but I’m getting there fast. I’m not quite there yet.
Thinking on the opportunities that lie ahead on the outside has proven to be the most effective way for me to motivate myself. These opportunities include better relationships, increased health, less anxiety, and more time for creative work.
I’ve decided to stop worrying about how much money I can make and instead concentrate on the most important thing that money can buy: the freedom to spend my time as I like.
Being able to do what you want, when you want, and with whoever you want is what we mean when we talk about having time freedom.
I have made the decision to put time rather than money and inner peace more highly than my ego, and as a result, I have come to terms with the possibility of losing a little cash as a result. My buddies will always have more desirable financial returns than I will ever have. Never in my life will you find me to be an investor who achieves superior returns.
On the other hand, this is the one that will best serve my needs. This has been the case from the beginning. It’s alright that I got lost for a few years since I’ve learned not to worry about it. It’s possible that I’m not the only one who feels this way.
I send best wishes for success to everybody who is still competing in the game. As for me, I’m going to pack up and go.
The moment has come for you to exit the casino.