The 5 Best Tips for Leading a Happy Life.
Even though what you think determines what the reality is, then your pleasure will be proportional to the goals you set for yourself.
Everyone is looking for the secret to leading a happy life, but the truth is that the quest should start with you. One does not just “find” happiness. It has come to light.
It is already in this same location.
(For those of you who are rolling your eyes, please read the above phrase once again while taking a few slow, deep breaths while you do so.)
- Never compromise who you are.
Making choices that go against what you know to be true in your very center, in your gut, is the source of a significant amount of sadness. You know in your heart that you don’t want to do it, yet you go ahead and do it anyway. You give consideration to your thoughts. You make an effort to persuade yourself that the promotion is deserving of the rise, that the danger is too large, or that it is better to simply retain your position and keep your head down.
Maintaining your integrity in the face of adversity is a difficult task. Nevertheless, successfully repressing your authentic self is a much greater challenge.
- Don’t do what other people tell you to love; instead, do what you enjoy doing.
It requires effort to be able to spend time (particularly a significant amount of time) doing something that you like. Hard labor. The reality is that the vast majority of individuals give up. They obtain a job in order to put food on the table, and they pursue their passion “on the side.” They eventually lose their drive, allow themselves to get complacent in their routines, and give up the item that they had previously placed the utmost importance on. And for years after that, people look back in shame, almost finding comfort in the phrase “I wish I could have…”
You may not understand it right away, but you will eventually get there. It just depends on how long it takes. You will have an overwhelming feeling of regret since you did not continue doing the activity that had previously provided you genuine delight. Even if you never turn it into a profession of any kind. Do it anyhow, even if the only person you’re helping is yourself. The fact that “doing something for yourself” is seen as a waste of time and effort is sufficient evidence to demonstrate that our culture places a premium on attainment.
- Make sure you are in an atmosphere that is conducive to your needs.
If you are an extrovert, you should not submit yourself to a line of employment that stifles that aspect of your personality. If you are more of an introvert than an extrovert, you shouldn’t strive to conform to the extrovert norms of your workplace. Your level of happiness is a direct reflection of your day-to-day life, including the activities you partake in and, more importantly, the manner in which you carry out those activities.
Make the atmosphere what you want it to be. Put yourself in an environment that will encourage rather than inhibit your progress and make that your priority. Put yourself in an environment with individuals who either already understand you or are willing to make the effort to do so. There is always more than one choice. You should never settle for a setting that fails to nourish your essential self.
- Be selective in the people you keep as friends.
You are a mirror of the five people you spend the most time with, therefore it’s important to make smart decisions about who those individuals are. If they whine a lot, you will likely find yourself doing the same thing. If they are lazy, you will model their behavior and become lazy too. If they are not actively developing themselves, you will not actively improve yourself until you leave the environment and find people who will mirror that part of you. If they are not actively improving themselves, you will not actively improve yourself.
It is quite difficult to maintain a feeling of enjoyment when one is surrounded by unfavorable energy on all sides.
- Form healthy patterns of behavior.
As humans, we have a tendency to assume that “happy” is the last goal where there are no more obstacles to overcome. There is no difficulty whatsoever.
In point of fact, the reverse is the case. We like a good challenge. We flourish when faced with adversity. Through overcoming obstacles, we mature. Being put to the test is how we arrive at our true selves. And it is not the object itself, but rather your emotional state, that dictates whether or not that process of learning and being pushed is joyful, in the same way that a workout may be fun, or it can be challenging and painful (in the same way a workout to someone out of shape can be grueling and painful).
The process of building excellent habits in and of itself provides a pleasure that is “earned” to a much deeper level. We are ecstatic because we have triumphed against our own shortcomings.
- Ensure assurance while allowing for some degree of ambiguity.
When every detail of your life is worked out in advance, you might consider it dull. If you don’t have anything planned out in your life, then it’s going to be hazardous and uncomfortable.
The sweet spot for happiness is somewhere in the center. You want your life to have just enough predictability for you to feel like you have a foundation to stand on, that you’re not absolutely in danger, but that you’ve also left the door ajar so that spontaneity may visit from time to time and stay the night.
Unplanned exploits are the source of the most exhilarating and memorable moments of delight. However, you will get the most enjoyment out of them if you also know you have something stable to land on.
- Be vulnerable.
Scary, yet there is a satisfaction that cannot be matched that may be found in taking risks and exposing yourself to potential harm. These experiences verify that we are really human. The fact that none of us are flawless. We let others into our lives, and as a result, we are able to take a step back and see ourselves a little bit more clearly, despite the fact that this may be for the better or for the worst. We accept who we are and provide room for others to do the same.
Vulnerability is the key to unlocking the secret. As a culture, we go to tremendous measures to conceal who we are, and we invent masks, personalities, and pictures to convey the aspects of ourselves that we are certain will get acceptance, while relegating the other aspects to the background. However, we do our finest work when we allow ourselves to be vulnerable. Being vulnerable is the source of all of life’s most joyful and heartbreaking experiences in equal measure.
When we allow ourselves to be vulnerable, we open ourselves up to the kind of love and companionship that lasts a lifetime. Being vulnerable is the source of all of our art, all of our music, and all of our creativity.
The key to pleasure is in allowing oneself to feel vulnerable, which is why I began this post by discussing the importance of taking a deep breath.
There is no place in the world where happiness is hiding, just waiting for you to find it. The secret to happiness is inside your capacity for vulnerability, and your capacity for vulnerability lies within you.