Do Openers still work on ladies?
When I initially started out in the realm of seduction, I had a notepad full of words that I could use to start a discussion until I kissed the female. My notes had been written, crossed out, and redone many times.
I worked on them until I was as exhausted as if I were looking for the ideal algorithm for picking females up.
I could possibly have invented a cure for cancer or become a nuclear scientist in the time I spent studying “openers” (pre-set statements) and seduction… well, maybe not, but it was a significant amount of time!
The point is that for a long time, I was preoccupied with finding the correct word because I thought it was “essential.”
What makes the vast majority of guys think this?
An opener is not just about what you say, but also about how you start a conversation, which might be tough due to fear. This is why, in my view, openers and phrases get so much attention. On a night out, if you don’t chat to any ladies at all, it may be a really frustrating experience.
One of those evenings when we sit at the bar with our glasses up to our chests, watching others having fun while we are unhappy. Oh, yes!
There’s nothing wrong with having a prepared phrase on hand; they may be entertaining and beneficial at times. The issue arises when we consider these sentences to be required in order to “keep the discussion going” or “impress her.”
This strategy places us in the background of a validation hunt and elevates her above us. We’re inadvertently implying that we should work hard to get her attention or impress her, rather than deserving it because of who we are.
We search for the appropriate term to demonstrate how “cool” we are or to make us more intriguing, despite the fact that we do not perceive ourselves to be that way.
Another issue is that we frequently prefer to blame the words rather than accept responsibility for the woman’s behavior.
We blame the words to absolve ourselves of responsibility and avoid dealing with the underlying issue. “Oh, this opening doesn’t work,” you may say, but you might have stammered, trembled, or spit in her face… but we should absolutely modify the sentence since it doesn’t work.
Consider the following scenario, in which a seduction coach instructs one of his pupils to employ a group of ladies. It might be anything, such as “Hello, I saw you and I really loved you!” Or, “Women or men, who lies more?”
It doesn’t matter whether you say “I’d kill a whale with a flip-flop for you!” or “I’d kill a whale with a flip-flop for you!”
Because he is extremely consistent with that opening, the coach employs it and it works well. He’s accustomed to approaching females and saying, “You look amazing,” which doesn’t sound weird or unusual due to his body language and demeanor.
However, his pupil, who is unable to establish eye contact, is exceedingly apprehensive, and is unable to smile, is rejected with responses such as “I have a boyfriend” or “I got lost,” or simply with awkward silences accompanied by the group’s malicious chuckles.
So, why aren’t all openings effective?
Even though the words we say seem cool, how we say them, how we say them, how we say them, how we say them, how we say them, how we say them, how we say them, how we say them, how we say them, and other communication elements may all convey an entirely different message than what our words imply.
The student’s message conveys that he is afraid, insecure, negative, desperate, dramatic, and depraved… Okay, that’s not so awful. The idea is that the female is getting a lot more data than simply the words.
“I have no trouble approaching a female to chat to her,” you could be thinking today. I’m not trembling, but I’m at a loss for what to say to her.” What occurs is that we’re still yearning for her approval, and we’re going to transmit that to her unconsciously.
What we will be conveying, regardless of how lovely the words are, is what we are unconsciously thinking: “I need a phrase to wow her.”
We still think of her as superior to us.
What happens if we think in this manner?
What will happen is that we will feel compelled to push ourselves to find her. It’s at this point that we begin to see her as a treasure, and everything we say becomes a weapon against us.
And here’s the key difference: the coach doesn’t believe he needs a term (whether he says it or not) because he doesn’t see the woman he talks with as superior to him; instead, he strives to develop a connection on an equal footing.
However, the student who believes the lady is superior to him believes he needs a word, and despite the fact that he and the coach say the same thing, they send different meanings. As a consequence, the female will perceive something odd about the student, that he is not real or honest, and she will reject him.
As I previously said, looking for pre-set openings or dialogues is not improper, but the fact is that the majority of them will be of little help to us. If we attempt to accomplish what others have done but it does not fit our nature, we will most likely fail.
Even if we get a nice answer, for example, “”Oh, thank you,” we’re probably simply going to sit there thinking, “wonderful! But what am I supposed to do now?!”
Many males told me that when they spoke to ladies who didn’t interest them, their talks went well, but when they talked to women they loved, they admitted that they had difficulty, that the conversation didn’t flow, and that their efforts were in vain.
Their concern was how they should conduct themselves in front of these “ladies” they admired.
One man wrote to me, “I feel like if I had two or three go-to subjects I know I could improve and get ladies to like me more.”
The error of assuming that we must respond differently depending on how beautiful a woman is to us. The idea behind this belief is that the more gorgeous a woman is, the more difficult it is to seduce her, which influences our behavior and how we approach her.
One of the issues here is assuming that women view themselves in the same light that we do. It is possible to claim that it is less about their physical attractiveness and more about their emotional needs and self-esteem, or how they view themselves.
In the same manner, our beauty and the attraction we create for her will be determined by our self-perception and emotional needs.
We will surely feel more frightened if we overestimate her, behave uncomfortably, and believe she is out of reach if we do so. Women find males who are equal to or somewhat “above” them appealing. It will be tough for her to regard us as beautiful if we believe we need a witty remark to pick her up.
It’s not that there aren’t any beautiful words out there that make people fall in love or have a significant effect on them; it’s just that we shouldn’t concentrate on the phrase itself; it won’t matter. If a sentence works really well, she was probably already drawn to it before we contacted her.
So, where do we go from here?
We may say practically anything as long as we are 100 percent honest and congruent. When it comes to honest words, there are no wrong answers.
It’s a mental shift: we don’t have to say anything unique to attract her. I used to assume that if I wanted to pick up a lady, I needed to say something fascinating, make her laugh, get three signs of interest, and then go on to the next step…
We will focus more on the encounter itself if we don’t worry about what to say or speak about with a lady. Instead of obsessing about the next sentence to say, we might take real interest in the discussion and reply organically.
We’ll have more time for a pleasant, fascinating, and exciting discussion with her if we have less thoughts running through our brains. As a consequence of our expertise, the discussion starts to flow via a process of trial and error, rejections, and awkward moments.
Sure, it’ll take some time before we begin to accumulate experience, but that’s true of any talent. Keep in mind that you aren’t expecting her to say anything along the lines of “oh yeah, I want you to take me to your bed right now” every time you speak with her.
It’s a good sign that you’ve gotten a response.
Let’s have a little fun with that response before moving on to something else.
It’s like this:
the discussion started because of my previous experience and the fact that I saw the girl as a peer. It is on this that we must concentrate, not on the words themselves.