Ladder theory revisited and solved.
The ladder idea of the Friendzone was discussed at the start of this book. To summarize, this theory states that it is almost hard to leap from one ladder to the next once you are on one.
You must be completely aware of the ladder on which you have placed your foot and confirm that it is the one you want to ascend. If it isn’t, you must make the necessary adjustments, such as stepping off the incorrect ladder and onto the correct one.
You must be on the relationship ladder if you want to be anything more than friends with her. It’s all quite simple.
As I already said, the ladder idea is incorrect. You can’t leap to the other ladder after you’ve climbed one, according to the notion.
However, it is possible.
You’ll have to overcome numerous obstacles, and your character will be put to the test, but you can accomplish it.
In fact, if you find yourself on the Friendzone ladder with a girl you want to be more than friends with, move to the other ladder as soon as possible. It’s something to think about. You may not succeed with the first woman, but each time you take that risk, your chances of success with the next woman in your life improve. The more you practice, the better you become, just like in basketball and football. Jumping Friendzone ladders is the same thing.
It is a skill that can be learned and practiced.
You have the ability to alter it.
Understand that being assigned to the Friendzone on a regular basis is a taught habit.
Because you believe there will be a reward at the end, you fall into this behavioral pattern. The pleasure and pain principle governs our behavior. There’s clearly something that’s causing you to break free from your harmful habit of re-entering the Friendzone.
You may unlearn this learned tendency by focusing on the bad.
If you’re constantly in the Friendzone, you should figure out how much of your suffering is caused by it. There are no advantages for you – merely avoiding confrontation and the possibility of rejection is insufficient.
Concentrate on the reality that you are surrounded by other people. Concentrate on the notion that some of your pals are most likely laughing at you.
You’ll be able to stop yourself from getting up that ladder in the first place if you recognize the negative consequences of Friendzone occupancy.
Make yourselves proud. You’re an adult with a sense of self-sufficiency. Why should you give up your life and emotional energy for someone who doesn’t seem to care about you? Feel the agony, humiliation, and shame, and then utilize it to strengthen and motivate you.
This will make you realize that whatever emotional benefits you believe you are receiving are insufficient, and it will intensify your agony and indignation. You could be enraged enough to scream “screw it” and jump to the next rung on the ladder.
You may not know it, but you’ve been conditioned to slip into the Friendzone out of habit in order to escape unwanted emotions. This is a bad reason to do anything.
You’ll need some space, and you’ll have to be ready to take a break.
It’s a good idea to unplug and take a break if you’re thinking of leaping ladders.
Be ready to take a long metaphorical walk away from the object of your love. Consider the possibilities.
What does all of this seem like to you and other people? So, what are your plans for the future? Is there anything else that would be better? What’s your level of desire for her? What are you prepared to give up for her?
The greatest sacrifice is to put everything on the line and take that leap of faith.
When you say, “I’m sexually interested in you,” you’re putting your friendship at danger.
When you come out and say you desire a romantic connection with her, you’re jeopardizing all you’ve worked so hard to build.
So, what could go wrong? The worst-case scenario is that she disappears from your life.
I have a question for you: are you really a part of her life? Is it really worth it to be in her life if you can’t get what you want out of the relationship?
Make an effort to be your best self.
You should assess who you are once you have emotionally distanced yourself from the individual who has Friendzoned you.
Make a list of all the wonderful qualities you possess. Make a list of your own ambitions.
Consider yourself in your ideal state.
What kind of person would that ideal person be?
Would that individual have nice pecs or sculpted arms? Is that individual svelte, toned, and attractive? Would that individual be articulate, well-educated, and well-versed in the arts? Is this guy interesting and funny?
Make a list of your ideal self and begin working toward that goal.
Rather than focusing all of your time, emotional energy, and resources on impressing the woman you’re trying to impress, work on becoming the best version of yourself and then becoming the person women instinctively want.
Too many people in the Friendzone are preoccupied with falling in love with others that they forget to love themselves.
Guys who actually care about themselves would never let themselves be used as emotional stepping stones. Guys who value themselves don’t let themselves get used up and discarded like emotional rags. You must love and respect yourself in order to work on being your best self.
Take some time to get to know yourself better, then return sexually available and aggressive.
You’re getting ready to jump over to the other ladder by stooping into an athletic posture.
Be ready to send various types of signals when you return.
First, let her know you’re open for sexual relations. Second, increase your physical contact with her to give the impression that you’re more sexually aggressive. It’s perfectly acceptable to walk away if she rejects you or appears uncomfortable.
What matters is that you leave on your own terms after declaring your intentions. You won’t have to wonder for the rest of your life what could have been if she’d only known what you really wanted.
By sexually available and aggressive, I mean that your facial expressions, verbal signals, body language, and the words that come out of your mouth must all point toward romantic and sexual intimacy.
Otherwise, you’re wasting your time by pressing the rewind button on the videotape of your life with her, which will only lead you back into the Friendzone.