BEFORE YOU GET SERIOUS, HERE ARE 5 QUESTIONS TO ASK YOURSELF.
Now that you have found a person with whom you have a strong connection and gone on a number of dates with them, it is time to ask yourself the all-important question: do you want to take this relationship to the next level?
Before becoming too serious about anything, it’s a good idea to take some time to sit down and ask yourself some basic questions. This can help you avoid getting into situations that you could come to regret in the future.
ARE WE BOTH TALKING ABOUT THE SAME THING?
It’s possible that you feel it’s time to move on, but does your match feel the same way? Before proceeding any further, this is the first thing that has to be established. In the event that the response is “yes,” you are free to continue the conversation by examining what “getting serious” means to each of you individually.
ARE YOU COMPATIBLE?
There is a good probability that you are, especially if you met on eHarmony; but, before making a significant commitment, you should always talk things over with your partner first. It’s possible that the fact that you and your partner have very different political or spiritual objectives isn’t harming your relationship right now, but that doesn’t mean that it won’t in the future.
HOW DO YOU FEEL ABOUT THE RELATIONSHIP IN THE CONTEXT OF YOUR FAMILY AND FRIENDS?
It is incredibly crucial for a relationship to have the support of the people who are closest to you in your life. In the first stages of your relationship, when you are still figuring out how to negotiate each other’s limits, you will be subjected to a variety of different pressures, and you will both sometimes need help from people outside of the partnership.
HOW DO YOU DEAL WITH CONFLICT?
It’s possible that the two of you haven’t had any fights or seen each other worried or angry yet, but sooner or later, you will. When that time comes, it’s crucial that you feel like you have skills for dealing with it and that you aren’t tiptoeing about afraid that you’ll upset each other.
ARE YOU ABLE TO MEET THE REQUIREMENTS OF ONE ANOTHER?
There are many things that go unspoken at the beginning of a relationship that it would be far better to have a dialogue about. This may seem like an odd question, but there are frequently things that go unsaid at the beginning of a relationship. One of these is what you both need from the other in terms of love, time, commitment, and support from the other. By having an open conversation about what you need, you and the other party will have the opportunity to evaluate whether or not you believe you are able to provide it before moving forward.
DO YOU FIND IT POSSIBLE TO TRUST THEM WITH COMPLICATED OR PRIVATE MATTERS?
In order to go on with someone into a serious relationship, you need to feel that you can trust them with your heart and that you can be open and honest with them about topics that you would typically keep secret from other people. Only then can you move forward into a committed relationship with that person. This might include things like your mentalities and routines around monetary matters, as well as concerns relating to sexuality and sex. It is not common practice for us to discuss such topics with our families or friends, but if you want to have a meaningful relationship with another person, it is critical that you be able to do so with that person. By communicating freely about the issues at hand, not only can trust be established but also potential disagreements and misunderstandings may be avoided in the future.
DO YOU HAVE SPACE IN YOUR HEART TO GIVE?
Because of who they are and how they make you feel, the greatest reason to become serious with someone is because you genuinely want to create a life with them. This is the finest reason to get serious with someone. This is not the case in a way that is much too often. Sometimes individuals become significantly engaged in relationships not because of what is taking place in the here and now, but rather as a means of attempting to recover from the pain caused by something that took place in the past or as a means of escaping from it.
If you are still hung up on someone and using a new relationship as a form of sticking plaster, it is unfair because you are likely to be comparing them with your ex, and you may never truly be totally committed if you feel they are second best. However, if you are using a new partner as a type of sticking plaster, it is fair since you are likely to be comparing them with your ex.
DO YOU SEE THE TWO OF YOU Experiencing LIFE TOGETHER AS YOU BOTH AGE?
Before becoming too involved with someone, it is necessary for you to have the ability to think ahead a little bit and see yourself in the future with that person. This is true despite the fact that it is critical for you to be present in the here and now. Have fun while it lasts, but keep it light and make sure you both know where you stand.
If you can’t picture yourselves together in a year or five years because you know your goals are different from theirs, it is okay to have fun while it lasts. Just make sure you both know where you stand. In this situation, you should follow your gut impulses. Spend the next five minutes in peace, and give yourself permission to actually see yourself spending the rest of your life with this person. How does it feel?
WOULD YOU SAY THAT THEY ARE YOUR BIGGEST FAN?
Ask yourself, “Before you get serious with someone, how do you treat each other? Are you treating each other with love and respect? Are you taking into consideration how the other person feels?” Do you take an interest in one other’s aspirations and make an effort to encourage and uplift one another?
These are incredibly significant questions because the answers to them demonstrate the degree of connection and trust that already exists between the two of you. When it is strong and you know that they have your back and that you have theirs, the issue of whether or not you should become serious becomes a simple one to answer.
