BDSM and fetish 50 shades of kink
The concept of sexuality as a binary opposition — that is, as straight or homosexual — may be deceptively simple to comprehend. Although the fact is that sexuality is a broad spectrum or continuum, as sexologist Alfred Kinsey emphasized in his breakthrough 1948 essay, “Sexual Behavior of the Human Male,” there are many different types of sexual behavior. Even though Kinsey focused on sexual orientation, the concept may be extended to a variety of other sex behaviors as well.
When it comes to sex, there is no such thing as “absolutely right” or “absolutely wrong” as long as it takes place between consenting adults. Therefore, when it comes to experimenting with alternative lifestyles, it is up to you to choose your own priorities and boundaries. Alternate sex practices, whether you’re single or in a relationship, can be a fun way for you to explore and discover new dimensions of your sexuality;
if you’re in a relationship, they can help you to strengthen your relationship with your partner while also making your love life a serious adventure. Does this sound interesting? Continue reading for more information: This chapter will teach you how to safely experiment with threesomes, swinging, bondage, discipline, sadism, and masochism (BdSM), and much more.
the spectrum of sexual orientations
We’ve proven that sexual orientation isn’t as black and white as it seems to be. It occurs on a spectrum, with heterosexuality on one end and homosexuality on the other, and most individuals discover that their particular sexual orientation falls somewhere in the middle of these two extremes. Furthermore, it is probable that your sexual identity will alter throughout the course of your life.
That implies your sexual orientation isn’t set in stone: it’s always shifting.
In the 1950s, when Kinsey was performing his ground-breaking sex studies, he discovered that anywhere between 6 and 14 percent of women reported having at least one casual sexual encounter with another woman.
Today, it’s probable that those numbers are far higher (and it’s also crucial to note that statistics in sexual studies are often higher than reported owing to the taboo associated with discussing sex in many Western countries, as previously mentioned).
BDSM and fetish 50 shades of kink
As a result, even if you consider yourself “straight,” it is entirely acceptable to engage in sexual experimentation with women. Women who enjoy being sexual with other women frequently report that it is a very different experience from being sexual with a man.
For example, our bodies tend to feel softer to the touch than men’s bodies; women may be more in tune with each other’s emotions; and they may be more likely to understand another woman’s body and sexual needs than men.
Possibly you’d want to try being with a lady on your own, or perhaps you’d like to experiment with being in a threesome with your spouse. Regardless matter whether you identify as heterosexual or heteroflexible, bisexual or gay, or anywhere in between, feel free to relax and enjoy yourself in your own comfort zone!
Monogamy
Simply put, monogamy is the decision to only have sexual relations with a single person. When the two persons involved opt to expand their sexual connection to include other people, they are said to be in a nonmonogamic relationship. That is not to argue, however, that it is simple to choose nonmonogamy.
Both you and your partner must carefully weigh the advantages and hazards of the relationship, as well as respect one other’s limits and, most importantly, communicate well. Despite the fact that it is not for everyone, couples that manage nonmonogamy properly via open and honest communication essentially minimize the potential of having affairs or cheating, since they have previously consented to have sexual relations with other people.
Threesomes, swinging, and polyamory are the three most popular varieties of nonmonogamy to be found nowadays.
THreeSoMeS
When it comes to threesomes, fantasizing about them is quite frequent. However, deciding whether or not to make that idea a reality is entirely up to you. A threesome may be thrilling and exhilarating, but it can also be detrimental to your relationship if you and your partner do not communicate clearly about the rules and limits that are acceptable to you and your partner. It’s probable that one or more of the participants engaged in a threesome may have emotions of envy and insecurity after the event.
Make every effort to avoid this situation in the future. Take some time to sit down with your spouse and go through everything. As a starting point, consider the following five questions:
1. Who will be the third member of your three-person team?
Is it a guy or a female? Who knows, you could wind up becoming friends with him or her or meeting someone on a dating website.
2. How do you intend to get things started?
Would it begin as a date, complete with dinner and beverages, or will you want to go right to the point and go directly to bed with your partner?
3. Discuss the details of the conversation with the other person.
Is it permissible for him to enter the third person if she is a female? Do you want to touch her? Do you want to kiss her?
4. What will take place when he is ready to reach orgasm? Is he authorized to finish in, or on, the new partner?
5. What will happen after that?
Will the new partner decide to leave? Are you planning to stay the night? Will either of you contact the new partner in the future for friendly or sexual interactions?
Having this dialogue not only assists you in establishing clear, defined limits, but it also causes you to look at the issue through a more realistic perspective.
Be aware of your personal needs: if you begin to feel uncomfortable or jealous when discussing the terms of the threesome with your partner, it may not be the best moment for you to attempt it. And that’s great; sometimes simply talking about a threesome can be a huge turn-on.
Many couples love the “tease” of the thought of being in a threesome without actually participating in one. If you and your spouse are one of these couples, make sure your partner understands that it is all a dream before he brings a new acquaintance home. The concept of a threesome may be more exciting than the actual experience.
BDSM and fetish 50 shades of kink
If you and your partner are comfortable discussing the rules of the threesome and you’re ready to take things to the next level, keep the following points in mind before you start your ménage à trois.
First and foremost, keep yourself occupied and focused. Your trio may break apart, and one member may feel unwelcome and uncomfortable. Make a point of being generous with both of your companions. Second, make sure you’re safe.
Even if you have condom-free sex with your monogamous spouse on a regular basis, you will still need to take care and protect yourself while you are in a three-person relationship. Ensure that you replace the condoms before he changes partners if he enters both of you at the same time.
Using a dental dam or protective latex barrier during oral sex with a new partner is something else you may want to think about doing.
Relatively receptive
When monogamous partners engage in sexual activity with other persons or couples for the goal of pleasure and amusement rather than the establishment of an intimate connection, this is referred to as swinging.
Online, where a plethora of local swingers’ clubs have websites—some with as many as 100,000 members—it is simple for swingers to connect with other like-minded individuals.
It is possible for swingers to host gatherings at their homes or at a private club. It’s the same as having a threesome: communicating with your partner and feeling comfortable with having other people sexually involved in your relationship are two essential elements of making the decision to swing or bring other people sexually into your relationship in any form.
Neither party should be dissatisfied with the outcome, and it is critical to establish clear parameters. Check out the questions for threesomes previously in this section if you’re thinking about going out with your partner. They will help you determine if you are ready to go out.
Polyamory is a kind of nonmonogamy that is mutually agreed upon, ethical, and responsible. Polyamorous couples, also known as polyamorous couples, have agreed to seek out personal connections outside of their main partnership in order to strengthen their relationship.
When it comes to forming a good, committed, intimate connection, poly couples believe that monogamy isn’t required. In contrast to polyamory, which is only dependent on sexuality and sexual behaviors, these other partnerships are not.
Exceptional communication skills are required for successful polyamorous relationships—and they often possess these abilities. This enables them to establish firm limits when it comes to forming other connections and determining how those relationships will effect their current romantic partnership.
Rules and limits are established by each individual relationship.
Others allow just one spouse to pursue a relationship with a third party; yet others allow both partners to date a third party.
Other couples form friendships with other couples as well as with other individuals. Even while polyamory has many advantages, such as more sex and tenderness as well as diversity, it also has some drawbacks, such as jealousy. In order to make it work, how do polyamorous couples do it? Communication and negotiating abilities that are second to none!
ADVICE ON BDSM
‘Robert and Jennifer’ are a prosperous, well-educated couple who have been married for twenty years. Robert is forty-five and Jennifer is thirty-eight. It has been clear from the start of their relationship that they are polyamorous as well. Jennifer has the following to say about it:
Terms and conditions of their connection include the following:
“The terms and bounds of our partnership are fluid and alter depending on the scenario and the moment, as well as what is going on in our personal lives at the time.” ” Our existing terms, however, require us to work together as a group of individuals. The members of our team are interested in polyamorous partnerships. It’s a win-win situation if you get us. Things get a little more complicated in some areas, but they become more steady in others.”
Probing and pushing the boundaries of the law: Our intense sentiments for new partners have been one of the most difficult issues we’ve faced. The three of us were engaged in a long-term triad relationship, which was complicated in the end since not everyone was on the same page in terms of the partnership’s objectives, and not everyone felt the same degree of connection with the other two partners.
Coordination is difficult, and the situation is very convoluted. In the end, we decided to stop the relationship because we understood that it was just not going to work with our long-term objectives. As previously said, our current operating procedure is that we must work as a team to accomplish our goals.
It is not possible to operate as a team if you break that guideline.
In fact, that has occurred in this instance as well. On the surface, one of us—usually me—made the decision to have a sexual encounter with another individual.
one was present, while the other was not Again, depending on the individual’s history, this may have been acceptable—or it could have been disastrous—in which case, we addressed it with a great deal of conversation, reassessment, and trust-building.”
The advantages of being polyamorous include: “It’s a lot of joy to be yourself and to acknowledge that we have sexual desires for more than one person at once.” The idea that we would be attracted to other individuals isn’t even a plausible assumption.
Denial of these sensations is restrictive, and I believe that monogamy is a terrible letdown for many individuals. If you want to be in a loving, long-term relationship with someone, it shouldn’t mean you have to restrict your sexual preferences. It’s wonderful to be able to have sexual experiences with others.
The fact that these outside experiences are carried out in the spirit of our “team” connection only serves to strengthen our own relationship and bring us closer together. Apart from that, loving other people is a great thing that enriches one’s life in a multitude of ways. No matter how long a relationship lasts, we all have enormous potential for love.”
“Talk about everything and everything,” says a monogamous couple’s advisor. Share your feelings regarding the things that are difficult to deal with. Followed by a joint navigation of the situation Don’t let up on the conversation! Make sure you pay attention to your intuition and don’t ignore your emotions.
It’s important to pause and speak about how you’re feeling so that you can find a solution.
BDSM and fetish 50 shades of kink
BdSM is becoming more popular among the general public as more and more parts of fetish and bondage appear in popular culture and the media. In addition to providing safer environments for sexual experimentation and more acceptance for those who want to include these practices into their lives, the fact that these formerly clandestine behaviors are becoming more mainstream has a number of other advantages.
In behavioral science, the term “BdSM” refers to activities that include a range of behaviors such as role playing, bonding, constraint, and power dynamics.
They often feature one “dominant” partner and one “submissive” partner who have agreed on the limitations and bounds of the encounter in advance of the experience taking place. It is critical that both parties have faith in and respect for one another, regardless of the situation. The word “safe, sane, and consensual,” or SSC, is used by the BdSM community to define the manner in which BdSM experiences should be carried out in the community.
Another important aspect of the BdSM experience is personal accountability. RACK—risk-aware consensual kink—is the slogan of the community, and it is followed by all members. Consequently, each individual must be cognizant of the dangers associated with any behaviors in which he or she participates.
BdSM activities range from “light,” such as role-playing or spanking, to “heavy,” such as excessive bondage; sexual intercourse may or may not occur during BdSM play, depending on the situation. To ensure that you are always attentive of your partner when performing a sex act, it is vital to set a safety phrase in advance to let your partner know when you need to put the play on hold entirely.
ADVICE
“I firmly believe in the significance of communication at all times; in the value of not being scared to experiment; and in the importance of communicating with your partner about what you’d want to explore. The majority of my kinky pals and I have learnt to be very upfront and honest, which is quite pleasant to be around. If you’re new to kink, start off with something simple. For example, you may begin with a light spanking before progressing to a more severe flogging. You’ll be able to figure out what you appreciate and what you don’t like.
Remember as well that consent—that is, verbal acceptance that is explicit and informed—is of the highest significance.”
The realm of BdSM is filled with a variety of tools and toys.
Here’s a BdSM toolkit that you may keep in your own bedroom.
Always be sure to ask your partner for his permission before beginning any activity with him in advance.
Whip or flogger are both acceptable.
This is often a piece of leather, or a number of pieces of leather, that strikes the skin and causes it to bleed.
By striking the skin with a tool, the whipwielder puts himself or herself in a position of authority, which may arouse and thrill the other partner. Try this: have the partner on the receiving end bend over, go down on all fours, or stand against the wall with his or her hands at his or her sides or over his or her head while you do the exercise. The “whipper” might begin by softly dragging the whip or flog over the bottom of the receiver, taking care not to let the instrument contact the back or legs of the recipient.
Crop.
When used for punishment, a crop is a stiff hitting implement that may be used for spanking, striking, and other sensory exercises. To use the crop for spanking, position the stiff strip of leather at one end far enough away from the buttocks so that it does not wrap around and snap on your partner.
With his arms out to the side and over his head, have him bend over or stand against the wall, just as you would with a whip and a flogger. the center section of the crop should be used for a spanking on his bottom
Using the upper half of the thong around his buttocks, back, legs, and even genitals (slowly and lightly), you may create a gentle, teasing feeling.
Handcuffs or wrist restraints are often used.
In order to prevent your partner from moving, or to restrict his mobility, you may put handcuffs and shackles on him while you have your wicked (or not-so-wicked) way with him.
You may try restraints on your spouse while you perform oral sex on him, or you could have him perform oral sex on you instead.
Blindfolds.
These have the potential to show psychological subordination while also causing sensory deprivation.
They may be a lot of fun during both pre- and post-conceptional sexual encounters. With the blindfold, you may limit your partner’s view before kissing and stroking his or her whole body. Continue to slowly inch closer to his genital organs, paying attention to how your spouse responds to the sensations.
Restraints that cover the whole body.
For a more extreme, full-body bondage experience that takes mobility limitation to a whole new level, a set of full-body restraints may be employed. requirements? You’ll need a strong trusting connection with your partner, as well as plenty of experience. Full-body restraints are designed to be fastened to the four corners of your bed, which is standard practice.
BdSM BASICS BEGINNING WITH BdSM
Begin by engaging in linguistic play. Making a power dynamic explicit is not only a terrific way to get started with BdSM, but it can also be quite exciting for your partner. Before you begin, chat with your partner and share with each other which words turn you on and which ones put you off.
Examples include the use of explicit language such as pussy or fuck me, while others choose “textbook” terminology such as penis, vagina, or sex to describe their intimate relationships. Take command of the situation by using your favorite kind of filthy language and telling him what you want him to do to you. Have a good time ordering him about in bed! Consider making him the power bottom in the act if he’s into it.
A power bottom is someone who aggressively likes to be the receiver or the submissive person in a sexual act. You may also employ language that indicates the presence of power structures. Consider the following scenario: he addresses you as “goddess,” “mistress,” or “madam,” while you address him as “slave.”
Grab a blindfold and put it loosely over his head to disguise his identity. Allow him to sit or lay down on the bed. His other senses will be heightened as a result of being robbed of his visual abilities. Take advantage of this situation. Allow him to experiment with different sensations by running cold ice or warm candle wax over his skin.
Allow your breath to tickle his ear while you whisper in his ear. Feed him items that are sweet, tasty, and have a rich texture, such as chocolate, ice cream, or fruit. You may then remove the blindfold and take advantage of his increased desire until you’re ready to go on.
Wear fetishized apparel like stockings or corsets to look the part, or dress up in role-play costumes such as secretary, nurse, or schoolgirl to get into character. Based on your clothing, portray a fictional character. Alternatively, you may try leaving your heels or boots on while you take everything else off. That’ll be enough to make you feel like a sex bomb for the rest of the night! While you’ll be feeling sexy and kinky in your outfit, your date will be going wild over the sights.
Try tying each other up with rope, shackles, or handcuffs to see how far you can go. If possible, while you’re confined, have your partner begin pleasing you with delicate, loving kisses, mild bites, and soft spankings—and then go from there if you like. Being completely at the mercy of your partner and relinquishing all control over the situation is an energizing act of faith on your behalf.
Adding a little kink to your sexual routine can be an exciting and adventurous way to keep things hot in the bedroom, whether you want to try out a threesome, experiment with swinging, or get tied down or dressed up. Adding a little kink to your sexual routine can be an exciting and adventurous way to keep things hot in the bedroom. Go ahead and be imaginative. As long as you and your partner establish clear limits and adhere to them, there isn’t anything you shouldn’t attempt at least once.
T oP 5 F I Lms FeATURInG
B D s m AnD Fe T I sH
1. The Secretary of State (1995). In this video, a naturally submissive young lady gets a job as a secretary and acts out her proclivities with her employer. She feels empowerment in sexual play, despite the fact that she is a submissive. BDsm, restraint, horse fetish, and general powerplay are among the themes.
2. Shut Your Eyes (1999). The tension between a married couple is shown in this erotic thriller, which also tackles a number of awkward or forbidden sexual scenarios. The protagonist is tempted to leave his marriage over the course of a few days, including being recruited to perform in a sex orgy with disguised members of a secret club.
3. O’s Adventures (1975). Her partner takes the main character to a retreat, where she is treated to sexual perversions and schooled in bondage and punishment.
4. 912 Weeks is the number of weeks that have passed since the beginning of the year (1986). This film follows a love story that involves blindfolds, power exchange, public sex, and gender fluidity, among other BDsm and kink-related topics.
5.Caligula, number five (1979). Caligula’s sexual exploits on his road to the throne are depicted in this sexy historical film. This video, which deals with topics like group sex, was also accompanied with brutal inserts that left little to the imagination.
