We Kill Our Children in the Name of Love.
The term “spoiled brat” was one of the most degrading accusations that could be flung at a youngster (or his or her parents) while I was growing up. There were times when it wasn’t spoken too frequently, but when it was said they were taken out of context and hurt. No one wanted to be associated with the idea that a youngster had been spoilt.
Nowadays, we barely ever hear the expression, which may be due to the fact that so many youngsters have been spoilt. Has the frequency of the term lessened as the severity of the situation has increased?
Curiosity got the better of me, and I looked up the definition of “spoil.” “To impair the character of a kid by being too tolerant or indulgent” is what it implies in this context.
That’s a strong argument.
It’s difficult to be a parent, and it’s much more difficult to be a parent when we have long-term aspirations but are dealing with urgent, short-term concerns. Providing a piece of candy to a crying toddler in order to maintain the peace is far simpler than dealing with the youngster’s squalling for a piece of candy. Because all of his pals have the newest, most costly whatever-it-is, it’s much simpler to give in and make him happy with you while he’s grumbling. Sometimes it’s simply simpler to clean the home yourself rather than teaching him and then insisting that he completes his chores properly.
Possibly, we’re doing it since it’s simpler to pamper the youngster than to discipline him or her. It’s less difficult, and it makes the youngster happy as well. Surely that is what we are aiming towards after all? Are your children content?
I certainly hope not.
The most important indicator of good parenting is not always the presence of happy children. Are you a well-adjusted, responsible, compassionate, and unselfish individual? Absolutely. Are you content and spoiled? No way in hell.
Take a look at the definition of spoilt again. As a result of being excessively forgiving or indulgent, and providing our children with too much of what they don’t need, we are simultaneously hurting their character.
We attempt to explain our indulgence and forbearance by convincing ourselves that we’re offering them our love and affection. We persuade ourselves that we are providing our children with everything we did not have growing up. We rationalize with ourselves that we don’t want them to feel different, excluded, or deficient in any way.
Despite the fact that we tell ourselves many things, we often fail to tell ourselves the truth.
The fact is that providing them with everything they want and request is the polar opposite of showing them love. It teaches them that they are the center of the world and that the goal of their life is the fulfillment of their material needs, which they do not understand.
Do we even know what we’re getting ourselves into? Perhaps this isn’t the case. Perhaps if we were aware that we were harming their reputation, we would refrain from doing so. The deceiver intends for us to damage their lives from the beginning, so he deceives us right away. We’re completely oblivious to the damage we’re causing.
You’ve seen what I’ve witnessed across the globe. They rule their houses, with their parents fearful of setting bedtimes and asking rather than telling them what they should do. Target is flooded with five-year-olds clamoring for toys — and giving them to them “simply because.” Young people under the age of ten who “will only wear name-brand clothing.” Sixteen-year-olds who drive more expensive automobiles than their parents and wear purses that cost hundreds of dollars are becoming more common.
Children are being spoilt, parents are caving in, and society is suffering as a result of this situation.
It is not a question of whether or not we can afford these things. (And in many circumstances, we are unable to do so.) We keep up with the Joneses by accruing more and more credit card debt. We continue to drive ourselves to exhaustion in order to provide our children with whatever they want. Instead of spending our spare money, we’re squandering our only available cash. We work long hours and stress ourselves out, and then we simply hand out the goodies to the kids who didn’t do anything to earn them.) Even if we had the financial means to provide our children with everything they want, we should refrain from doing so. Possessions are not important in life, and lavishing children with material goods teaches them that they are.
Your children will not be ruined if you refuse to acknowledge their existence. It will not damage their life, and it will not cause them to become isolated from their friends. Yes, it is possible that they will get unhappy for a short period of time. Yes, it is possible that they will be a bit different from their peers. Yes, it is possible that your family is different from everyone else’s. But isn’t it a positive development?
Later, when your kid is older and understands why you stayed firm, he will realize that you were teaching him something that is important in the long term. He will come to understand that sacrifice results in greater benefits. He will realize that you cared about him enough to refuse his advances.
Love is a patient person. Love is considerate. What’s more, you know what else? Love is impervious to deterioration.
