Use These 5 Tips To Increase Intimacy During Sex.
In general, I find reality television to be irritating. But because I am a marriage life coach, there are times when I will take a deep breath and click on a relationship-centered show.
At the same time, I will try to remind myself that there are producers behind the scenes and that not everything is as “real” as they would like us to believe that it is.
This is the situation that transpired when I was watching a program that I will not identify at this time.
When I was listening to a married couple who had been together for a number of years arguing about whether or not they had a healthy sex life, I couldn’t help but reflect on the fact that sex isn’t always regarded as a necessary component of a marriage or as a shared responsibility.
Furthermore, most of the time, if one partner feels as though the sex is waning, it’s usually because they haven’t asked their partner if their sexual needs are And if that partner is the woman, I’ve spoken to enough couples to know that if there’s one thing that (many) women wish they had more of, it’s intimacy.
And if that partner is the husband, I’ve talked to enough couples to know that he’s the one.
The term “intimacy” is cool since it connotes not just having a close relationship with someone but also having a comprehensive understanding of that person.
A few of the words that are similar to and may be used interchangeably with “intimacy” include friendship, confidence, understanding, experience, and communion.
Therefore, let’s get to it. Keeping all of this in mind, if you feel as if your sex life does not provide you with sufficient opportunities for closeness, the following are some steps that you may do to improve the situation.
Take a Conscientious Approach to Skin-to-Skin Contact
I’m a doula. One of the things that we stress a lot is the significance of maintaining a close, skin-to-skin relationship with a baby between the mother and the father. There are many different explanations for this.
The practice of putting a baby’s skin to a parent helps to establish a more secure bond between the two of them, as well as to normalize the baby’s heart rate, promote regular breathing, normalize the baby’s core temperature, protect the baby from infection, and regulate the baby’s body temperature.
A newborn will also have an overwhelming sense of safety and security as a result of this.
After engaging in sexual activity, people may find it quite helpful to engage in skin-to-skin contact with one another.
For one thing, it may produce a
n increase in oxytocin levels, which can result in a deeper sense of connection between you and your spouse. Additionally, it may lower your levels of stress and enhance your immunity.
To tell you the truth, I once saw an article on the website of Women’s Health UK with the heading, “Apparently Your Cuddling Style Can Say A LOT About Your Relationship.”
Check it out when you have the opportunity, and while you’re there, think about how you and your partner often snuggle and even sleep in the same bed.
Whatever the circumstances may be, make an effort to become more deliberate about participating in skin-to-skin contact, preferably after having sexual activity but also in general.
Additionally, there are other advantages associated with sleeping without clothes, particularly for women. Also, do you sleep nude with your significant other? How could it possibly not be an intimate moment?
Engage in Sexual Dates.
Do you know why, despite how hectic our schedules may be, we still manage to find the time to take a shower, eat, go grocery shopping, chat to our friends on the phone, and check our social media accounts?
Isn’t that an intriguing phenomenon? Since, number one, we think those things are important, and number two, because we do, we give them top priority.
Because of this, it doesn’t fly with me when married couples tell me that they haven’t had sex in weeks — or worse, months — because all that really means, at the end of the day, is that No. 1 and/or No. 2 has fallen by the wayside.
This is why it doesn’t fly with me when married couples tell me that they haven’t had sex in weeks — or worse, months.
Listen, I get that it may not be as simple to have sex as it was when you first began dating or even when you were newlyweds, but another hill that I will never give up fighting for is the idea that sex is meant to be a consistent part of a married relationship (so long as you are physically capable, that is).
And scheduling sexual encounters in advance is one method to guarantee that this will continue to be the case.
What exactly are these sex dates? These are dates that have been scheduled only for the purpose of having sexual encounters. Book a hotel room. Take a trip over the weekend to a vacation home that is located in the next town over.
Get someone to monitor the children while you engage in sexual activity within the house. This should be on the agenda at least once every two months because when both people make an effort when it comes to create time for sex, it communicates to both of them that the desire is there.
And everyone likes to feel desired, isn’t that right? Having the sensation of being desired is yet another top-tier method for developing greater closeness. Now is the time to schedule a sexual encounter by consulting your Google calendar.
There is not a single possibility that either of you will come to regret participating in it. It’s so likely that I can virtually promise it! Talk About Your Sexual Misgivings
Even after they had been married for five years, the woman’s husband claimed that he had never seen her natural hair since she always wore a wig or weave. She referred to it as “keeping one’s beauty,” but I saw it as being quite insecure on her part.
When we decide to “do life” with another person, we are agreeing to let that other see all of who we are, even the aspects of ourselves that aren’t as attractive as others may think they are.
It doesn’t matter if your sexual insecurities stem from negative past experiences, issues with your body image, or the fact that you fake orgasms because you’re afraid to let your partner know that you’re not as satisfied as you want to be but you don’t want to hurt their feelings by bringing it up (this happens more often than you would think), choose a time when you and your partner aren’t engaged in sexual activity to discuss these issues.
Being “naked” with your partner does not just mean removing all of your clothing at the same time. It’s about being completely honest with them about who you are, including your mind, your body, and your spirit, so that they can see the parts of you that no one else does.
This includes the fears and doubts you have. And you guys, I’m telling you right now, “intimate” does not go any deeper than that.
Affirm your partner’s sexuality on a regular basis.
Only One Jess is the name of a channel on YouTube, and every so often I will go to that channel and watch a video or two. This year, Jess celebrated her 30th birthday and also got married. She is a young lady.
One of my favorite things is the endearing way in which she always expresses her admiration for her spouse. It’s also beautiful to witness how much his face brightens up every time she does it because of how happy it makes him.
To avoid delving too far into the topic of the Bible, let us just mention that the Holy Scriptures assert that we are created in the image of God (Genesis 2), and because God enjoys being praised, it stands to reason that humans do as well.
One mistake that a lot of people make when it comes to their marriage is that they spend more time criticizing and belittling their partner than they do affirm them, complimenting them, and verbally acknowledging what it is about them that they adore. Unfortunately, this is a trap that a lot of people fall into. When it comes to sexual activity, this is also the case.
Listen, I don’t care whether you and your partner have been together for six months or 25 years – make it a practice to affirm them before, during, and/or after sex. If you do this, I guarantee that you will have a happier and healthier relationship.
Share with them the things that you are most looking forward to doing with them (before). Express what it is that’s blowing your mind right now (during). And after that, be sure to clap and cheer loudly for the part(s) that were your favorites (after).
We as humans are hardwired to desire to engage in more of the activities that give us a positive self-image. There is no exception for sexual behavior. If you are affirming more than you are condemning in that area, what do you think the end result is going to be?
Establish a Connection Between Sexuality and Spirituality
When most people think about spirituality, religion is the first thing that comes to mind immediately. This is something that is sort of bad. It’s bad, in my opinion, since whereas many faiths each adhere to a distinct canon of doctrines, spirituality encompasses a far wider range of topics and practices.
To be spiritual is to center one’s attention on one’s own spirit in relation to one’s viewpoint, interests, and attitude.
An old quote attributed to Marianne Williamson states that “the spiritual path is the unlearning of fear and the accepting of love.”
When asked about the spirituality of embracing one’s humanity, Steve Maraboli famously observed, “One of the most spiritual things you can do is accept your humanity.”
Today is the day to connect with the people around you. Say whatever it is that you’re feeling, whether it be “I love you,” “I’m sorry,” “I appreciate you,” or “I’m proud of you.”
An old proverb attributed to Denis Waitley states, “Happiness cannot be traveled to, possessed, earned, worn, or devoured.” The spiritual experience of living each moment with love, grace, and thankfulness is what we mean when we say “happiness.”
When you consider sayings like these, it’s simple to understand how you can — and should — integrate your sexuality into your spirituality and vice versa. This is because your sexuality and your spirituality are two sides of the same coin.
Talk to your spouse about the things that make you nervous when it comes to getting close to them. In point of fact, you should try to be more communicative in general since sexual closeness may be strengthened via verbal communication.
You should make an effort to quit seeing happiness as a monumental occasion and focus instead on being present for the little things that make you happy, even in the bedroom.
If you are willing to make this change, I can almost promise that the sexual experience you have with your partner will immediately become much more sensual.
Find Out What Each Other’s “Romance Language” Is
I will never let go of the notion that one of the things that contribute to the difficulty of maintaining healthy relationships is that far too many of us offer other people what we want to get rather than what they genuinely seek. I will die on this hill believing this to be true.
For instance, if giving presents is one of the ways you express love to your partner, you may be more likely to do so, only to experience “some kind of way” if your partner does not share the same level of enthusiasm about the gifts as you would if you were the one receiving them.
The same is true for romance, and the only way to find out what your spouse thinks of as romantic for them is to directly question them about it rather than assuming anything about it.
On this subject, I’ve had conversations with a good number of males. Some people believe that having their significant other sit on the sofa with them as they watch a game is romantic.
Some people believe that romantic dates should be impromptu and catered to the individual’s unique preferences and passions. Some people believe that a romantic gesture would consist of a person doing things for their spouse that their partner would ordinarily do for them (such as a certain set of tasks around the home) so that their partner may have a break every once in a while.
If there is one term that, at the end of the day, can be considered somewhat nebulous, it is definitely romanticism.
However, at its foundation, it is based on love; when males do it, there is an expectation of chivalry connected, and when women do it, there is an expectation of (more) nurturing involved.
To set the record straight, some words that may be used interchangeably with romantic include daring, thrilling, sensual, nostalgic, passionate, sensitive, and lyrical.
Discuss with your significant other how you feel about each of these aspects of romance, and then inquire about their perspectives on the subject.
The next step is to commit to actively participating in one another’s “romance language.” When there is more romance in a relationship, it is much simpler to be sexual and, you guessed it, intimate with one another.
Invest More Money in the Foreplay.
Foreplay is something that everyone is familiar with; it consists of doing whatever is required before to engaging in sexual activity in order to excite one’s partner to the point where they are sexually aroused enough to engage in that activity. The point with foreplay, though, is as follows: Not all of the time is it sexual.
I’m very certain that at least some of you are aware of the fact that our brain is the largest sexual organ that we possess.
This indicates that when it comes to foreplay, we need to be open to cognitively and emotionally engaging our spouse, and that this kind of stimulation may (and should) take place outside of the bedroom as well.
Have some fun with your companion. Compliment your mate. Engage in some sexting every once in a while. Then you need to step it up a level and think of something that you can do that they will really like and will not expect at all.
Activities that build up anticipation for intercourse, like as extended make-out sessions and orgasmic meditation, may make sex even more thrilling and pleasurable once you actually have it. In the bedroom, get into the habit of doing things like orgasmic meditation and long make-out sessions.
You should know that it usually only takes males around five minutes to reach their climax, however it might take women anywhere from 20 to 25 minutes. Foreplay is often what makes it possible for everyone to “meet in the middle.”
And when it goes beyond the typical sort, it may make sexual activity far more intimate as well.
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