THREE ways people deal with bad behaviors.
Humans utilize three habits to deal with lethargy, anger, and self-pity. Attacking, indulging, and ignoring are ineffective techniques.
Attacking futilely is common. We judge ourselves by our habits. We blame ourselves for comfort, self-pity, and staying in bed. We’re terrible and guilty.
Indulging is another fruitless tactic. “This is simply how I am,” we say. I shouldn’t be bothered. I have many reasons to be furious or sleep 24/7. Self-doubt and inadequacy torment us, yet we justify our actions.
Ignoring works, at least temporarily. Dissociation, spacing out, numbness. We do whatever to hide our behaviors. We operate on autopilot and avoid analyzing our actions.
The warrior’s mind-training techniques provide a fourth, enlightened method. Try truly feeling what you’ve been fighting without retreating. Explore your habits. Before your compassion and groundlessness become habits, practice them. Do this to reduce ego-clinging and develop insight and compassion.
THE OPPOSITE OF SAMSARA IS WHEN ALL THE WALLS FALL DOWN, WHEN THE COCOON DISAPPEARS, AND WE ARE OPEN TO WHATEVER HAPPENS, WITHOUT WITHDRAWING OR CENTRAL We seek the warrior’s path. Leaping, being flung out of the nest, initiation ceremonies, growing up, and walking into the unknown move us.
What do you do when your world is crumbling? How do you respond when you don’t measure up to your self-image, everyone irritates you because no one does what you want, and your existence is emotional agony, uncertainty, and conflict?
It helps to understand that you’re experiencing emotional turmoil because your comfort has been challenged. It’s like being blindsided. Tuning into that groundless emotion reminds you that you choose life and warriors over death.
Four Limitless Characteristics
A TEACHER TOLD ME THAT IF I WANTED LONG-TERM HAPPINESS, I MUST LEAVE MY COCOON. She said “Same instruction” when I asked how to make others happy. The greatest approach to serving ourselves is to love and care for others, thus I practice loving-kindness, compassion, joy, and serenity. These methods dissolve boundaries that prolong all creatures’ misery.
Before and after, sit in meditation. Start where you are. We connect with wherever we sense loving-kindness, compassion, pleasure, or serenity, however, restricted.
(You can list people or animals who inspire you.) We want to appreciate the quality we’re practicing with our loved ones.
Then we expand our circle of connections.
We may undertake these activities in three phases, utilizing the traditional Four Limitless Ones chant (see book epilogue) or our own words. First, we choose one of four unlimited attributes.
“May I feel love” Then we wish someone “loving-kindness.” We wish all sentient creatures “loving-kindness.” “May I be free from pain and its origin.” Be rid of pain and its cause. All creatures be free of pain and its cause. Seven phases may be used for an ambition practice.
The four unlimited characteristics’ ambition practices teach us to not hold back and to recognize our prejudices. We’ll become used to overcoming pain and dread. This is how to get engaged in the world’s tragedies and provide lovingkindness, compassion, joy, and serenity to everyone, without exception.
Moving from anger to unconditional love might be difficult. Start with the familiar. First, locate our existing compassion to cultivate infinite Maitri. We express thanks or appreciation, for our friendliness. We touch bodhichitta nontheoretically. Finding it in love or loneliness is irrelevant.
We can always discover a soft, vulnerable spot.
Seven-step exercise using the Four Limitless One’s mantra.
You may rephrase the goal.
- Cultivate self-compassion. May I appreciate happiness and its foundation?
- Awaken it for someone you feel goodwill and affection for, such as your mother, kid, husband, or dog. “May (name) be happy and joyful”
- Awaken loving-kindness for a friend or neighbor, mentioning their name and wishing for their happiness.
- Awaken loving-kindness towards a neutral or disinterested person.
- Show compassion to a tough or obnoxious person.
- Let loving-kindness evolve to embrace all five above-mentioned creatures. (This is “removing obstacles.”) “May my lover, my buddy, the neutral person, and the tough person all have happiness and its source.”
- Show compassion to all cosmic creatures. Start locally and expand outward. “May all creatures experience pleasure and its source.”
End the exercise by dropping words and desires and returning to seated meditation.