My Sex Addiction Story 3
Delilah Night is a fictional character created by author Delilah Night.
Delilah Night is an American who now resides in Singapore with her husband and two small sons. She would either become a sexologist or a fashion designer if she had limitless time and money.
or a pastry chef, for example. She urges you to visit her website, DelilahNight.com, to learn more about her.
To the untrained eye, I would seem to be perfectly normal.
I’m married to a man who is the opposite gender as myself, and we have two kids together.
I’m not a straight shooter. I’m a bisexual who goes unnoticed.
Growing up in a tiny rural village, I was taught to treat everyone with the same dignity and respect. Yet
A member of my family voiced his displeasure at the prospect of two males kissing in public. I’d say yes.
“Why can’t they just keep it in the bedroom?” I’ve heard comments like these. It’s a step up from
“They’re bad and going to hell,” I guess, but only by a little margin of margin.
The lesson I learnt was that being in a relationship with another person of my sex was immoral, disgusting, and unsanitary.
Some information I should keep confidential. I was under the impression that there were just two options:
That I would be attracted to either guys or females is incorrect. The possibility that you may be
It was entirely strange to me to be sexually attracted to both sexes.
As I got closer to middle school, my sexuality started to grow more and more.
I was a little creeped out by the fact that I had stolen my mother’s bodice rippers.
In order to avoid having to read descriptions of the hero’s turgid manhood (and having never seen a penis firsthand), I
I skipped over those sections and concentrated instead on the heroine’s swelling breasts instead.
A abandoned men’s magazine was discovered in the campsite across the street from my house.
one of the photographs in our trailer and got charmed by it: a lady with her legs bare
wide, fingers holding her labia open, revealing her clit (despite the fact that I didn’t have one).
either of those terms, for that matter. I was aware of the term “vagina,” but we mainly referred to it as “down.”
there”). I knew I wouldn’t be able to bring the magazine home with me, so I concealed it in some bushes.
I returned to it on a daily basis until a night of rain completely wrecked it.
The fact that I was supposed to prefer guys added more confusion to the situation. The lads in the group
My fifth-grade classmates were a bunch of immature cretins. Who would want to kiss someone like that?
When Star Trek: The Next Generation premiered, a wave of relief and excitement washed over me.
In 1990, I had my first serious love on Wil Wheaton, who appeared on the television show Generation. The case has been closed: I
I was happy that he was straightforward.
I started experimenting with males while I was in high school. Kissing guys was something I enjoyed doing. The design was appealing to me.
When ‘hanging out’ escalated into making out, they had tactile evidence of their desire. I enjoyed it.
When they put their hands beneath my shirt, I knew they were onto something. Those ‘turgid manhoods’ of the ancient world
The sight of bodice rippers was no longer disgusting.
I had ideas about females, but I promised myself not to act on them when they were sexual in nature.
That what I felt was a mixture of jealousy and ambition That I wanted to be like them rather than with them
them. Because I wasn’t a lesbian — I like making out with dudes – I wasn’t discriminated against.
straight.
Making out with dudes is not something a lesbian would like. I couldn’t think of anything else.
explanation.
When I first started having sexual relations, I only preferred male partners.
In college, I came up with a fresh explanation for my bewilderment that didn’t involve changing anything.
My sexual orientation as a heterosexual woman is as follows: Women, according to popular culture, are sexually promiscuous.
desirable. It’s only natural for me to find females to be visually appealing. It is the responsibility of society.
It is not my fault.
I promised myself that I would do so if I awoke from a dream in which I was with a lady.
It happened to me once as I was masturbating and the person I was thinking about suddenly became a
woman. Even after a few hours of hanging out, I found my pants and cunt damp with excitement.
My relationship with a woman I admired (as a friend) did not alter my identification as a straight guy.
woman.
My closest buddy and I spoke about my theories on society and female desire, and she agreed with me. She
agreed with my point of view (which meant I was right). It was society’s fault that I was straight.
It was my own fault that I was drawn to other ladies. It wasn’t a genuine phenomenon, but rather a by-product of Conditioning as a result of social interaction
My closest buddy and I continued to hold society responsible for any lady we considered to be unattractive.
sexy.
We even utilized my idea as a justification for conducting experiments. I wanted to see what it would be like.
like. For the simple reason that society had taught us that we should want to experience the
The difference between the lips of men and women We eventually ended up in my dorm bed.
Glowing lips, bras discarded, and fingers slipping into pant legs. Following that, we
went to a nightclub and made a point of dirty dancing with the guys because, well, it’s fun.
We were STRAIGHT, you know. Damn it, we were.
We were both surprised and embarrassed when she said that our make-out session had pleased her.
curiosity. That she might do it again at a later date, but for the time being it was a one-time thing.
All of the penis, all of the time. I didn’t have the same reaction.
Despite the fact that I had homosexual friends at that time and had detached myself from the
I couldn’t seem to get my mind around my own preconceptions, which were a result of my background.
sexuality. If I had been attracted entirely to females, I could have comprehended what he was saying.
I felt bad about wanting both guys and women at the same time. Why couldn’t I simply choose one?
This is at the core of one of the most destructive and prevalent clichés about bisexuality: the bisexual shaming trope.
that we are avaricious, slutty fence sitters who are hesitant to confine themselves to a single position
partners who are of the same sex I should be aware of how destructive it is, since it is the subject of a dispute with
which I chastised myself for.
It’s a little embarrassing to admit that I sought therapy from the clinicians at my institution.
I knew it would be awkward, but I needed to speak to someone and say things out loud that I’d kept to myself.
They kept the peace for a long time and offered a secure atmosphere. Within a short period of time
Months after that make out session, I had my first sexual encounter with someone else. My
Friends were accepting of me. My mother determined that I was going through a period that would pass shortly.
I’d outgrown my goth phase, and she sighed and rolled her eyes.
While coming to terms with the fact that I was bisexual was difficult, once I did, it was a piece of cake.
With that, I was fairly content with my decision to identify as bisexual.
In my early and mid-twenties, I spent the most of my time dating and fucking my way through life.
a large number of collaborators I met a lot of people at bars, both men and women. I tried my hand at internet dating.
In fact, it was only with men who answered (because there was no bisexual option to check). I spent a lot of time
hours chatting with fucking men and women on instant messaging services I was still in my twenties.
to take pleasure in being caught up in the drama of my numerous relationships I didn’t have a bad day.
I was fascinated with activism or with the labels that others wanted to slap on my back. I simply wanted to say
likes to have fun with sex
The one exception to this general disregard of labels occurred when I was residing in the United Kingdom.
New York City is the capital of the United States. I was feeling very horny and wanted to meet up with a female companion that evening.
In order to avoid this, I went to a lesbian club that I’d discovered in the LGBT section of Time Out magazine.
As I walked through the door, butterflies flitted uneasily in my gut. What if they were able to figure out who I was?
Did you like fucking males as well? Would they believe I was simply one of those ‘lesbian unless proven otherwise’ types?
‘Graduation’ kinds, perhaps? Is it possible that I was a complete liar? I ended up sitting at the bar and just made one or two drinks.
My amaretto sour and I make direct eye contact. I didn’t go back after that.
I met and fell in love with a guy when I was twenty-seven years old, and we eventually married. It had happened.
It was during this time that I became interested in activism (initiated by the homosexual marriage debate).
(This is a struggle in my home state.) I’d considered myself a member of the LGBT community for quite some time.
I used to think of myself as an ally, but now I’ve begun to think of myself as a member of the community. I
intended to speak up in public and to make himself known as a visible member of the community
It’s odd, really, that just as I was deciding to become more public as a part of the community, this happened.
Everyone else, even the gay community, had officially pronounced me to be heterosexual. After
All of them were ‘chosen’ by me. I was a lady who had become the wife of a guy. Woman plus male equals
straight. Each and every time I’d taken a drink, I’m certain that folks had thought I was straight.
I had a boyfriend, but I hadn’t given it any thought previously.
I’m not a straight shooter.
When I attempted to come out as bisexual while married to a guy, it often resulted in invasive questions.
questions along the lines of…
“How do you deal with being attracted to ladies if your spouse is a guy?” says the interviewer.
“Do you have any female friends that you can use to cheat on him?”
“However, you do seem to favor guys, don’t you?” “I mean, you got married to one…”
Bisexuals who are married (or bisexuals who are in committed relationships) inhabit a desolate territory.
territory. We are seen to have chosen our side (straight or homosexual), and we should just relax.
Please, don’t say anything. When we arrive at Pride events with our family, we are greeted with open arms.
rather than as members of the community, they should be considered allies.
While we’ve gone a long way in terms of identifying homosexuals and lesbians, bisexuals haven’t made as much progress.
For a long time, the LGBT community has shunned him. We are a fringe group, and we don’t fit in anywhere.
fit nicely into a small container The conventional assumption is that our sexuality is a reflection of our gender identity.
We are treated in accordance with our sexual orientation, whether we are straight or homosexual.
As a result, we become indistinguishable.
What does it look like to be proud to be bisexual? What exactly does “bisexual equality” imply? That
Apart from “accept that,” there isn’t a simple response, or possibly even a satisfactory one at all.
“Sexuality is a fluid continuum, not a binary,” which solidifies our position in the battle for equality.
Acceptance is a difficult process at the best of times.
I will concede that we bisexuals of opposing sexes are, in many respects, similar to each other.
When compared to the rest of the LGBT community, partnerships have the shortest journey.
community. We have the option to be married in any of the fifty states. We don’t have to be concerned about anything.
Our children’s schools seeing our family as legitimate members of their communities. There is no one who disputes this.
Neither are we the gender that we believe ourselves to be.
However, this does not imply that being an invisible bisexual is an easy task.
I can stand right in front of you and you won’t be able to tell I’m there. Alternatively, believe that I exist.
The impression you’ll get is that I went through a period that I’m no longer experiencing. Alternatively, you could like something a little more sinister.
In order to support my claim that I am, in fact, bisexual, I will provide specifics of my sexual history.
There is no secret bisexual society to which I am obligated to submit a report. There is no such thing as a
a quota for female employees Every year, I have to fuck in order to maintain my bisexual status. No one is going to go.
gonna come to my house and demand that I give in my membership card if I don’t already have one
Masturbation is permissible for both men and women.
You see me with my spouse and my children, but you don’t see me at all in my own right.
