Is it normal for best friends to have sex with each other?
Having a best buddy is a rare find. Typically, these are individuals in your life that you’ve learned to trust, cherish, and love through time, maybe over a long period of time. When the final L-word, love, is replaced by another, such as desire, what happens next? Is it really a good idea to have sex with your closest friend?
A friend’s suggestion to start anything romantic might be the finest idea you’ve had so far, according to Mary Kay Cocharo, LMT. When it comes to marriage, I know that people are always reluctant to do that, but from my experience as a marital counselor (I’ve been practicing for over 30 years), the couples that start with a firm foundation of friendship are in a much better position to endure.”
Couples that begin as friends—especially best friends—have a considerably stronger foundation than couples who meet as strangers, according to Cocharo.
Pheromones are abundant in the bodies of people who are just attracted to someone they see across the room. “In that hormonal mix, we may get attracted to someone and begin a connection; yet, as those hormones begin to wear off, we may discover that there is no foundation upon which to develop a relationship,” says the author. In contrast, if you’ve already established an emotional connection (hello, friendship!) and then begin to engage in sexual activity, you’ll have a lot higher chance of having a healthy and happy future.
So, how can I inform my buddy that I have a romantic interest in them?
Ideally, Willspost argues, the dialogue should take place before you decide to have sexual relations with the individual. She suggests saying something along the lines of “Listen, do you mind if we sit down and chat about something important?”” “I’m wondering if it ever seems to you that our friendship could have the potential to develop into something more romantic…” he continues.
With this strategy, you’ll be in a less susceptible position (phew), as follows: You are not informing them that you are in love with them or that you want to marry them. You’re just trying to gauge their level of interest.
In certain cases, though (particularly when alcohol is involved), the sex takes precedence over everything else. As a result, Willspost advises that you should still ask yourself, “what was this talk about?” subsequently. It may be awkward in the beginning, but now is the perfect moment to ensure that you and your partner are on the same page when it comes to whether or not the sex was about anything more than sex in the first place.
What if my buddy doesn’t view me in the same light as I see him or her?
That’s OK with me. “Real friendships may last a lifetime,” Willspost asserts. It is important not to be too harsh on yourself if you have this chat before or after the sex and discover that the sentiments aren’t reciprocated. “This is not a personal attack on me. I haven’t been rejected in any way. For whatever reason, the other person is not a suitable match for you “In Willspost’s opinion, you should inform yourself.
Just be aware that you may need to establish some new limits in your friendship at some point. Perhaps you shouldn’t stay over at their place after falling asleep during movie night with the family. If you have genuine love emotions for someone, rather than merely sexual sensations, you may even need to take a break from your relationship with them.
Just be straightforward and say, “We’re friends, and we’ll always be friends, but I need to go away from you for a few months in order to quiet down my own emotions, attractions, and connection to you. I’m taking the next few months to accomplish just that. Afterwards, we’ll be able to start up where we left off as friends.” “If it’s a genuinely good relationship,” Willspost explains, “it can withstand that kind of thing.”
I need evidence. Do you have any true stories?
Yes, without a doubt! Here are a few stories with happy ends, others with sad endings, and several that fall somewhere in between…
The contented:
“Throughout high school, he and I were the greatest of friends. We met while attending college and began dating shortly after. He’s still my greatest buddy, and we’re planning to tie the knot in the summer!” –Katie D., 26 years old
“Despite the fact that we’d been really good friends for approximately two years, we’d never shown any interest in one other. Because he was in a relationship at the time, I was madly in love with a person who was not interested in me in return (or in women, for that matter). At some point, he was dumped, and I’d just gotten into a disagreement with my mother, and I didn’t want to admit it in front of everyone.
As a result, I decided to accompany him to a party and spend the night at his room. We returned to his apartment and he prepared an air mattress for me, but I insisted on jumping on his bed and the two of us immediately began laughing and playing games with one other. Eventually, we kissed and kissed and kissed and kissed again and again….
It had come as a total surprise. Then he confessed his feelings for me and said that meeting me had transformed his life. We spoke about it the following day and decided to put off dating for the time being since he had just ended a relationship. That, however, did not work. The next month, we made our relationship official, and we’ve been together ever since!” Lindsey M., 24 years old
“We met at work and hit it off right away. After a few years, we became into great friends with each other. However, we had both been in relationships over the course of our friendship. Eventually, both of us ended our relationships with our S.O.s, and he showed up for a party I was giving, where another employee informed him that I was single. After that, he began to communicate his sentiments for me, telling me that he had liked me since the day we met, and I realized that I felt the same way. Later on, when we were hanging out, he made the first move, and we ended up hooking up as a result of his initiative.
I was first frightened to begin dating my closest friend, but now, months later, I’m glad I took the risk since he’s become my lifelong partner as a result of my decision. I’m over over heels in love with my best buddy.” —Karla G., 26 years old
“I thought this man I worked with in college was very attractive, but he had been in a long-distance relationship with his high school sweetheart for five years, so he was entirely off-limits to me. We would often congregate in large groups with our employees, and as a result, we developed a strong bond of friendship. In the spring of the next year, when we all returned from winter break, I discovered that he had split up with his fiancée while he was still in the country. They had just grown away over the course of the previous few years of college, and he was well aware that he didn’t see a future with her.
I had strong feelings for him (five years is a long time), but I’d be lying if I claimed there wasn’t a little part of me that wondered whether we were a good fit for one other.
“In order to support him through his split, we continued to hang out as friends. However, our pleasant evenings out as a group ultimately transformed into serious, late-night, one-on-one discussions about everything and everything.
That fateful night, after a few too many drinks, we were sitting at a picnic table outside my apartment when it happened: we kissed…and then went back inside for more. It was one of the hottest evenings of my life, I’m not going to lie. The morning after, there was certainly some initial fear about what would happen if our colleagues and friends found out—but that didn’t stop us from continuing to meet up in secret for the next few months. We tied the knot eight years later, and he’s still my best friend to this day!” Chelsey L, a 30-year-old woman
The in-between situation is as follows:
“During elementary school, we grew up on the same street and our mothers were good friends at church. Most of my adult life had been spent with him. But it wasn’t until high school that I realized he was more than just a buddy to me anymore.
He kissed me after school one day while we were just hanging around. We ended up having sex and began dating a short time after that. We dated throughout high school, but after getting admitted to various colleges, we decided to call it quits in college.. As it turns out, we weren’t meant to be in a relationship. In the meanwhile, he’s married and has two children, while I’m a single mother to a lovely girl. The amount of time we spend talking has diminished. Our birthdays, on the other hand, have never been missed!” 3-year-old Cindy H.
“Recently, while I was in a terrible relationship, I was reconnected with my college bestie-turned-roommate, who had been separated for many years. We were drinking and playing Mario Kart one night when it hit us: When I made the decision to hook up with him, I contacted my then boyfriend the following day to tell him that I was breaking up with him.
My roommate and I came to the conclusion that we didn’t have enough of a love connection, but we remain excellent friends. My goal is to thank him for that night at every opportunity. I wouldn’t have been able to leave my toxic boyfriend and meet the wonderful guy I’m now seeing if it hadn’t been for us meeting.” Lissa L. (25 years old):
“He and I have always had a similar kind of friendship. That day was coming, and we were both prepared for it. And it happened only a few weeks after we graduated from high school: After six years of friendship, we decided to move in with one other. Another acquaintance of mine wanted to hold a party one night. The fact that he came and hooked up with me despite the fact that he was dating someone else made our post-hookup discussion a little uncomfortable.
Our friendship was saved despite our decision not to date one other. When I initially arrived in New York after graduation, he paid me a visit. He was also at our high school reunion a few weeks ago, which I attended. Despite the fact that I have a great affection for him in my heart, we are no longer as close as we used to be…and that is OK with me. My support for him has not waned at all.” 24-year-old Aleah M.
The depressing part is that…
It’s impossible to find any! No one wanted to disclose any of their information. Perhaps, after all, Willspost’s hypothesis is correct.
The choice to have sexual relations with your closest friend is ultimately between the two of you, and you must both determine if the danger is worth it. Friendships may last a lifetime if they are solid enough, as they were for many of these ladies. Greetings and Best Regards
Story
In 11th year, I met my closest friend, and we were just regular friends until the end of 12th grade, after which we were very good friends with each other. She is quite attractive, and any person who sees her would want her as his girlfriend.
So here’s how it all started: We were both students at the same university, and our college had organized an excursion to a hill station. While I was standing at the hotel reception, talking on the phone, Avni approached me, asking if we could share a room (of course, I said yes). We were both exhausted, and it was the first time I’d had the opportunity to sleep with her.
I simply showered and got ready for bed, she did the same, I think it was about 1AM already, we turned off the lights around 1:30AM and went to sleep, she was snuggling me the whole night and I was cuddling her,
It’s the second day, and I have no idea why I just went out and purchased some condoms; I have no idea.
We began watching a movie because she said, “I’m not tired; if you want to sleep, you may.” I was not drowsy, so we started watching a movie together. A romantic film, to be sure.
All of a sudden, the lights went out and everything became pitch black.
She became frightened and held me (it was a very nice moment), and we waited for the light to turn on, but it didn’t, so we walked about in the dark.
Late at night, I arose from my bed, and I moved a little, and then she arose from her bed as well; we both maintained extended eye contact; she went closer to me; she then climbed up on me; I asked her, “Can I kiss you?” Her response was “go for it,” and oh boy was I in for a treat. We kissed for what seemed like an eternity, and at that point I was also feeling a boner myself.
Then she began to undress me, first taking off my shirt and then my joggers, after which I undressed her and…..she looked really sexy!
It was like paradise when she slid her hand into my underpants and began stroking it gently before removing them as well. She gave me a lovely handjob and bj at first, which was just divine, and then she removed them as well.
My fingers brushed up against her beautiful and exquisite pussy, she was dripping wet by the time I sucked every drop of the juice that was dripping from her pussy, and as I placed the tip of my D on her pussy, she shouted wait!!!! Please don’t do it without any protection, so I immediately grabbed a condom from my luggage and we had a fantastic time together.
During that night, she had oragsm for like 3–4 times and I had 4–5. We practically fucked every night for the next several weeks!!!
Two months have passed and we are still best friends; she gives me bj every third or fourth day, but we don’t have sex on the regular; we only have one a week, on the weekend.
Now To be honest, making the choice was a difficult one for me to come to. In terms of sex, my bestie has always been really sensitive. Sex was something she had always considered to be strange. Since middle school, we have been great friends. She is gorgeous and attractive, but she despises those who look at her with their mouths open, as if she were a loafer.
In the past, we were great friends, but recently, I’ve been developing emotions for her in a more romantic sense. Until now, I hadn’t known much about the emotions that I’d acquired for her. So I couldn’t tell whether I was in love with her or if my actions were a result of my own personality. If she knew I was going to her college hostel on Sundays, she would have a little suspicion of me. Even as a closest friend, she continued to put her confidence in me. In the course of a single day after two years, a group of our friends decided to go on a trip.
It was a unanimous decision for the vacation, and shortly after, we were all on our way to the destination. In a lodge with many rented rooms, we were residing. She was exhausted the night we arrived, so she made the decision to spend the night in my room instead. That was my first night with her, and it was a wonderful experience. Her questions about things that were going on at college, about my relationship status, and other such topics continued the next day in the afternoon after lunch when she came into my room and sat down with me. Nevertheless, I always wanted to tell her that I adore her in a single sentence.
As soon as I discovered the appropriate time, I informed her. Her first reaction was to laugh, and then she urged him to quit playing around. But when she saw I was serious about this subject, she moved closer to me and became calm.. Currently, she added, if we become involved in a relationship, it is possible that we would split up our friendship; nevertheless, who knows what will happen in the future. You are deserving of a better situation. She returned to her room after saying this. Sobbing, believing that I had destroyed everything, even our relationship, I began to think I was right. This went on for a few days.
My last thinking was that I should beg her forgiveness, so one night I went to her bedroom. It was obvious she was pleased to see me when I arrived with a bouquet of flowers when she answered the door for me. I apologized to her and she kissed me on the cheeks, telling me that she, too, loved me. I was speechless. In spite of the fact that I had examinations and other obligations, she understood that I was over over heels in love with her. Later, after getting nude and shoving her into the bed, we both kissed each other passionately on the lips. The whole night was spent gradually fucking her up to the point where I cummed her.
As of right now, I am married to her, and we have one daughter, who is now two years old…. Soon after that night, we began living together; we both moved out of hostels and into a little home, and after three years, we completed our college education and tied the knot with each other. The second time we slept together, Ishu became pregnant, and she was already carrying a child while we were getting married. After 5 months of marriage, an angle decided to pay a visit to our home. Having a kid and a lovely wife, who used to be my closest friend, is a wonderful blessing in my life.
Anonymous- Thanks for sharing.