Is having a relationship that is open bad? Advantages and disadvantages.
The term “open relationship” refers to a non-monogamous relationship that is entered into voluntarily. It is a kind of romantic partnership that is often misunderstood and subjected to a great deal of negative connotation among those who are not familiar with its dynamics.
The vast majority of individuals are unaware of the fact that it may really be beneficial for their relationship.
In this post, I will discuss the benefits and drawbacks of open relationships, as well as help you choose whether or not this kind of arrangement is right for you.
The benefits of maintaining an open and honest communication style
1) It has the potential to be very gratifying and powerful.
The concept of being in a “open” relationship may be interpreted in a variety of different ways. For some people, it simply means engaging in transitory swinging, while for others, it means engaging in polyamorous relationships.
But regardless of how you could perceive it, there is one thing that is certain: if you and your partner are the proper sort of people for it, it will be highly gratifying and energizing for both of you.
Consider the implications. Who among us wouldn’t feel strengthened and content with the knowledge that they are loved not only by one, but also by two, three, or even four other people?
2) Your sexual life will undoubtedly be full of adventure.
If you’re in love with more than one person at once, it’s likely that your sexual life is fairly active and full of variety.
You do not just get “bored” because you have been sleeping with the same person for the last ten years; rather, you have the opportunity to enjoy being with another person every once in a while.
The fact that humans are not naturally programmed to remain monogamous also explains why this arrangement is acceptable. It’s possible that being in an open relationship will keep you from sneaking around on your significant other.
And, hey, there are few things that are more satisfying than being in bed with two or three other people, all of you loving one another with all of your heart and doing your damnedest to make the other person feel good. There are very few things that can compare to that experience.
At the very least, it’s an experience that the majority of individuals who are in committed relationships never have the chance to have.
3) Nothing is kept to oneself.
A healthy open relationship ought to have the capacity to increase levels of enjoyment and reduce levels of any form of pain.
Because there are other people to assist them in their position, there is less pressure on each individual partner to ensure that the others are happy as a result of this arrangement, which is something that I really appreciate about it.
And if one of you is having a bad day, the other partners will be there to cheer them up and help them get through the difficult patches when they need it.
When you feel attracted to someone new who you happened to stumble upon, you experience a lot less anxiety and guilt than you used to. In point of fact, many couples who have open relationships often joke and push one another to act on their new romantic interests.
It’s almost like having a family, or even a community when you have an open relationship. If you’re with the proper people, it’s both more pleasurable and less stressful than doing it on your own.
4) People who engage in polyamory will be successful.
The question “But isn’t polyamory the same as open relationships?” may cross your mind.
The answer to such a question is “NO.”
Being open to the sexual elements of a relationship is what is meant by the term “open relationship,” whereas polyamory refers to the practice of having several love relationships.
There is no shadow of a doubt that the vast majority of individuals who flourish in open relationships engage in polyamory. In the end, polyamorous persons may find that the freedom they want is only available to them in the context of an open relationship, as opposed to a closed or exclusive one.
There are some persons who are polyamorous but want to keep their relationships private, keeping a close connection with three or four different people at the same time.
However, the vast majority of polyamorous people would rather be unrestricted in their ability to love and be loved than to be confined by any artificial reason. And this is something that meshes nicely with the conception of love and affection that the vast majority of people have, which is that love is something that you give, and not something that you receive.
5) You get to meet more people
I have no doubt that you have, at some time or another, experienced feelings of regret over opportunities that you missed out on, particularly if you entered into a “closed” relationship far too quickly in your life.
Love, desire, and intimacy are all topics that we have an insatiable need to learn more about, after all.
“What if, instead of dating the guy I had a crush on in high school?” in addition to this, “what if I didn’t propose when I did?”
These regrets are felt by people in open partnerships as well, but to a lesser extent than by everyone else. The explanation for this is self-explanatory: the fact that they are already in a relationship does not prevent them from going after another partner.
With the stipulation, of course, that they would continue to pay attention to the advice of their present associates and exercise caution in the event that they came across anybody who seemed to be untrustworthy.
6) You could simply discover more about yourself
If you have never been in an open relationship before but are seriously contemplating entering one, entering an open relationship may be a terrific opportunity for you to learn more about yourself, from what you need in order to feel loved to what you are ready to offer.
It is even capable of illuminating previously unknown facets of your sexuality. If you have ever considered yourself to be entirely straight, being connected with one of your partner’s previous partners may convince you otherwise.
Many of us develop rigid and limiting views about how to love and be loved as we grow up. These ideas may poison your relationships without you even being aware of the fact that they are doing so.
I highly encourage you to check out this master class given by the well-known shaman Rudá Iandê if you feel as if you may benefit from some assistance in easing yourself into the concept of having an open relationship.
Even if your first attempt at an open relationship is unsuccessful, you can always take what you’ve learned from the experience and go on with a deeper understanding of who you are and the things you want out of life.
The drawbacks associated with maintaining an open relationship
1) There is a great deal of additional labor that must be done.
Everything that is significant in a relationship that is closed becomes multiplied many times over in an open connection.
When it comes to a relationship, communication is always quite important, but it takes on even more significance when the arrangement is more open. Effective time management and planning are vital tools to have if you don’t want to start ignoring other people by mistake.
If you struggle to keep a closed relationship going because you’re not very good at any of these things, you should generally steer clear of open relationships since they may be more difficult and time-consuming to manage than closed ones.
2) An increased likelihood of developing sexual difficulties
There is no denying that the more sexual partners you have, the greater the likelihood that you may get a sexually transmitted disease (STD). Because of this, it is important to be tested for sexually transmitted diseases (STDs) before engaging in sexual activity with a new partner.
If you happen to live in an area where it is physically impossible for you to do this for one reason or another — such as a lack of access to clinics or the financial means to pay for the tests in the first place — then you will have no choice but to accept the risk.
And on top of that, you need to be aware that even precautions like condoms or the pill may still fail, which means that if you happen to live in an area where abortion is illegal, you have no option except to carry to term and give birth to the baby.
In the end, sexual activity is not all laughs and jokes.
3) Jealousy may be a problem in certain situations.
There is always the potential for envy, even in relationships that are completely open and in which all parties involved are delighted about the openness of the partnership.
Love is a limitless resource, and it is possible to love numerous people wholly and with all of your heart at the same time. However, time and attention are not exactly endless resources, and despite your best attempts, it is still very easy to mistakenly overlook one partner in favor of the other. Despite your best efforts, it is still quite possible to neglect one partner in favor of the other.
And this may quickly rise to feelings of jealousy, which, if not dealt with appropriately, can easily result in the full breakdown of your relationship.
4) It does not mesh well with the concept of monogamy.
Even if not all open relationships include polyamory in some form or another, it’s impossible to dispute that in order to survive in an open relationship, at least some degree of tolerance for polyamory is required on your part.
I’m sure I’ve told you this before, but you have to stop thinking of love as a limited resource and start seeing it as something unlimited that you can share with more than one person at a time.
This is impossible for the vast majority of monogamous individuals.
Even if you don’t mind being shared yourself, it won’t work if you’re the kind of person who just does not want to share their spouse with anybody else.
In the end, for an open relationship to be successful, it has to be as just and equitable as it can possibly be.
5) A greater possibility of encountering unsavory characters
One issue that unfortunately arises very often in open partnerships is the fact that it is possible for people to unwittingly let potentially harmful individuals into their life.
It’s possible that at first, they won’t notice that they’re dealing with a malevolent individual since these types of people often have a lot of charm and are skilled at making themselves seem “nice.” However, once they are engaged, they may attempt to pull partnerships apart in a gradual and subtle way.
Because of this, if you are in an open relationship, you need to make an effort to be aware of one another’s partners and make sure that you are keeping an eye out for symptoms of any type of manipulation. If you are able to do this, your relationship will be much healthier.
6) It makes dishonesty far more difficult.
One of the most widespread misunderstandings about open relationships is the idea that these kinds of partnerships might serve as a quick-fix solution to infidelity issues.
It’s possible that you’ve heard others advise you to “open up” your relationship as a way to stop your spouse from cheating on you. If so, they’re not the only ones.
However, the fact of the matter is that open partnerships, despite the fact that they may be able to PREVENT infidelity, are not a CURE for cheating. If anything, they make the situation even more difficult; the reason why infidelity is wrong is not that your spouse wants to love someone else, but rather because they betrayed your trust.
Opening up a relationship with someone after they have cheated on you is just giving them permission to continue cheating on you in the future. The idea that you should broaden the scope of your connection needs to be brought up before any of that has even taken place.
7) Laws don’t like it
The problem with open relationships is that the law does not recognize them in any way, shape, or form.
In point of fact, according to the law, it might be termed “adultery,” which is a felony in a number of states in the United States and a criminal in a number of other nations.
Therefore, if you are in an open relationship, you need to be conscious of the legality of the situation, and if you are in a location in which it is not precisely legal, you need to be sure that you are not taking on partners who could tattle on you and get you in trouble with the law in the future.
The majority of regulations just don’t take into consideration anything other than a monogamous heterosexual pair as the default scenario, even how much we would desire differently.
8) You’ll be judged for it
Laws are not the only thing that have fallen behind the times when it comes to keeping up with the concept of an open relationship, which is a sad truth that a lot of individuals who are in open relationships have to deal with. Even society at large has not yet come around to accepting it.
If you ever become well-known for being in an open relationship, you should be prepared for the possibility that your colleagues, neighbors, and other acquaintances may spread a variety of untrue tales about you.
Some people are going to accuse you of being promiscuous and embarrass you because of it. It’s possible that other people may conclude that your relationship is in trouble because you wish to “open” it up for discussion. Others would argue that you are nothing more than a cheater who is getting encouragement for your dishonest behavior.
People have a terrible tendency to be quick to pass judgment and unkind toward things that are foreign to them… And most individuals have a hard time wrapping their heads around the concept of open relationships.
Contrasting open romance with polyamory
In this piece, I have alluded to polyamory quite a few times, and there is a compelling explanation for why I have done so. Specifically, the notion that polyamorous people have a significant association with open partnerships.
However, this does not imply that they are the same, and as I noted before, there are some individuals who engage in polyamory yet maintain a monogamous romantic partnership. There are also individuals who have a monogamous sexual orientation yet have open lifestyles.
So…would you be comfortable in an open relationship?
When everything is taken into account, do you think an open relationship is right for you?
You need to ask yourself whether you can afford to share your partner (or partners) with others who aren’t part of your relationship as a starting point. The answer to this question is going to depend on a lot of different factors.
And after that, you need to ask yourself whether you are able to actually flourish in an enclosed atmosphere, or if it would be better for you to attempt to open up your relationship in some way.
If the answer to both of these questions is “yes,” then giving it a go could be something you want to do.
If, on the other hand, you or your partner have a history of infidelity or if you find yourself attracted to someone other than your current spouse, you should NOT contemplate entering into an open relationship.
Because open relationships are not a free pass that allows either you or your partner to cheat without consequence, it is in both of your best interests to work through any problems you are experiencing or to end the relationship and move on if that is the case.
Conclusion
Comparing the question of whether or not it is a good idea to follow a vegan diet to that of whether or not it is a good idea to have an open relationship.
Some individuals are able to make it work, while others are unable to benefit from it in any way.
The question that has to be answered is whether or not you and your partner (or partners) are the type of individuals who can get behind the idea.
With any luck, this essay has shed some light on whether or not it might be suitable for you.
In that case, I want to wish you the best of luck in all of your future romantic endeavors. If this is not the case, then it is my goal that you have gained some insight of the people who are in such a relationship and that you are better able to accept them for who they are.
