I married out of love, but also because of money.

I married out of love, but also because of money.

I married out of love, but also because of money.

I was never willing to get married, nor was my companion. The marital institution did not immediately jump at our loosened, artsy, nomadical existence, and we both went through our whole maturity and put our finger on all shades of societal norms. To develop a secure professional path? Who needs it. Who needs it? Monogamy? Fuck this. Fuck that. Fuck it. Mary and children? Don’t you enjoy my liberty? I’m going to CANY YOU!

Obviously, many jaws fell as we revealed that we got married barely a few months after we met.




We all anticipated to have a relationship that is a whirlwind devour our best judgments, and we even said, “When you know you know, you know.” The beatiful grins dropped our faces.

It was simpler for our friends and relatives to perceive us as impetuous children than to shout the reality.

We were married because, literally, the U.S. Army would pay us if we did.

Return to the summer of 2019: I met Jabananda, the global traveler of my fantasies who was free-spirited, bubbling guitars. During the last 15 years they have been going around the harbors of the globe as a singer and guitarist aboard cruise ships. I’ve been back again in New York, after spending since 2008,

After a year and a half of spending in Seoul, Korea as actor and singer.

Two weeks before to the anticipated delivery of Javananda to Basic Training in the US Army we met. They were a bit clairvoyant, you can see, and in 2019 they had this odd, irrefutable insight that going into a more secure arrangement would assist them in the years to come, even with their ship’s career generating them more income than ever for fewer jobs than before. (Thanks Universe for the psychological development of my spouse AF.) They abandoned their closest buddy band on the open seas and became a guitarist in the army. Yeah, for the military, you could play guitar. Who was aware of this?


And it was a romantic whirlwind. I mean, if I didn’t think we had what it required to do the life partnership thing work, I wouldn’t have married this cat.

Neither of us would have undertaken this change without such a stimulating financial stimulus had been supplied by the army.

See, Java would have received her basic wage (not a lot) as a single enlisted soldier and would have been housed within military cubicles. Think about the monastery’s dorm rooms. Basic and cramped and yes, it is required that the inhabitants maintain the whole area tidy. Delightful. Imagine your college sleep asking you to clean your bathroom. The soul’s glooming!



On the other hand, Java would received a duty-free housing allowance — rental money or, basically, mortgage — about the same as their monthly take-over wage. As a married enlisted soldier They wouldn’t have to live in the barracks in addition to that. In whichever housing they chose, they may reside off the base with their spouse.

I’m a military life stranger. Thanks to my father’s air force profession, I grew up primarily on an army base in Seoul. I recognized the advantages. The reductions, I knew. I know the health care. I knew the health care. Health Care… Mmmmmm…


Java asked me to marry them in a three-page manual letter from basic education, our only form of contact for 10 weeks. Cue the soundtrack of the romance.

Two pages discussed how much they loved me and trusted in us, and wanted to take things that expanded and was great in my heart, and I felt the same way! But I would not have been persuaded to leave my antipathy alone to the fearsome Mawwiage. I mean, I rail my whole life against The Married’s smugness! For me, it’d be completely off-brand. My baby heart has to soar freeeee!



On one page of the letter, the army would almost duplicate Java’s salary if married, how I would receive free healthcare (drooooool), the ability to shop tax-free on military bases worldwide, access to military hotels and other amenities, and the US military would literally pay us, and gift discounts for all sorts of companies.

And SOLD, Ding ding ding!

Nor are we the only ones that have such a military system to play. I can locate no news in the media, however, either before or just after enrolment, the residents of Java went to the basic training camp with their high school friends and long-standing SOs.

And I know — the goal is to purportedly make married soldiers cared for by employees and to make it simpler to give them. It’s awesome!

But the gap in the quality of life between single and married enrolled troops appears rather unfair:

Individuals earn basic pay and pay taxes, whereas married soldiers receive basic wages plus tax-free household subsidies which are sometimes almost equivalent to or equal to their basic wages.
Single troops in the army have to stay at the desolate bases, whereas married soldiers may rent flats or houses off the ground, or even buy homes with the perfect VA financing scheme.


Individual troops are isolated and subjected to increased monitoring of their actions and lifestyles in their lives. Married troops are more independent, more privately protected and better able to live outside the armed forces. This is particularly essential in mental health, if you are a New Age musician who is not used to a rigorous, preservative military lifestyle.
It doesn’t really look fair that something so foolish and insane that you should suddenly be entitled to so many wonderful benefits by signing a marriage certificate. And it’s not in the military alone. The benefits of marriage are also available in the civil sphere – tax savings, insurance rebates, free services



Is it really fair to place such a ludicrous pedestal on these legally-built intimate partnerships? Is it right to earn roughly a half the salary that Java does and must live in a gloomy dormitory from single Java collelies who perform the same exact job as them? Isn’t my family — and society in general — just a little bit screwed that our relationship is now respected and celebrated, while I am 100% sure it would not happen if we were only living together and married? Ugh! Exactly for this reason, I loathe The Mary!

I’m one of them right now. Smh.

Oh, well. Oh, well. Can also tidy up if I sell out.