How to Deal with an Angry Drunk
The presence of a “angry drunk” in your life might make things difficult and unexpected. Several “angry drunks” have been known to become verbally or physically hostile when under the influence of alcohol, behaving in a manner that is inconsistent with how you may remember them to be when they are sober.
This shift in behavior may make living with a “angry drunk” seem like you’re always walking on eggshells in order to avoid provoking an argument.
It is common for the partners of “angry drunks” to feel conflicted as a result of this Jekyll-and-Hyde routine. While they may recognize that their partner’s drunken behavior is unhealthy, if not abusive, they may also overlook or minimize these actions because their partner is “not themselves”
when they have been drinking. In this approach, a “mad drunk” might absolve themselves of any culpability for their actions by blaming what they’ve done on the quantity of alcohol they’ve ingested before to the incident.
These rationalizations, despite how widespread they have become, have been shown to be nothing more than justifications we make up for ourselves in order to make sense of the apparently irrational change that occurs when individuals we care about transform into people we don’t recognize as they consume alcohol.
The scientific evidence, on the other hand, confirms a much more gloomy truth than many of us are ready to accept: that “mad drunks” are not only capable of rage and violence when sober, but are really prone to it, placing their spouses and other loved ones at danger of severe injury.
Affecting the Brain with Alcohol
As Alan Harper Neal once said, “Some individuals disregard their own cruel comments with the excuse that they were intoxicated, furious, or exhausted. ” We remain firm in our convictions, despite these and other factors.
Our comfort level in disclosing them is all they are. Alcohol and its effects on the brain are elegantly expressed in these lines, which represent the science underlying alcohol.
As a disinhibitor, alcohol is used. It is simply said that alcoholic beverages have no effect on the development of an individual’s personality and only show characteristics that were already there. The use of alcoholic beverages may disclose far more about certain people’s personalities than others, frequently revealing a side of them that surprises their friends and family members.
Some of the characteristics of those who alter the most while inebriated may have been learnt to conceal characteristics that were previously considered undesirable in society. The term “angry drunks” refers to people who, when sober, are prone to anger or aggressiveness, which they consciously suppress in order to avoid stigma or consequence, but who are free to express their anger while intoxicated since it is deemed more socially acceptable or excusable.
Moreover, excessive alcohol intake may impair a person’s executive functioning abilities, making it harder for them to maintain control over their impulses and make sound judgments. Therefore, someone who has used alcohol may find it difficult to maintain emotional control in the same manner that they would when not drinking alcohol.
As a result, someone who already issues with anger management may lose their capacity to control their emotions and may even become violent as a result of this. Despite the fact that it does not cause this response, alcohol does worsen it.
Domestic Violence and Alcoholism
Make no mistake: alcoholic beverages are in no way a factor in the development of domestic violence. Every day, millions of individuals choose to drink and then return home to their spouse without inflicting them any mental or bodily damage as a result of their decisions.
Additionally, a large percentage of individuals may and will abuse their spouses on a daily basis even if they have never touched alcohol in their lives. There is, nevertheless, a clear correlation between alcohol intake and domestic violence that cannot and should not be disregarded.
Alcohol, more than any other intoxicant, seems to be a factor in the perpetuation of violent crime, according to research. It is possible that partners of “angry drunks” are among the first to be victimized by this violence since they either live with that person or spend more time with them than other members of the household.
More than 55% of persons who have experienced domestic violence think that their spouse was under the influence of alcohol before committing an act of violence against them, according to research performed by the World Health Organization (WHO).
Afterwards, their study suggests that “heavier, more frequent drinking increases the probability of violence,” and that “intimate partner violence is both intense and more likely to result in bodily harm when the offender has drunk alcohol.” While under the influence of alcohol or drugs, your spouse may be more likely to use fatal force against you.
What to Do When You’re Dealing with an Angry Drunk
Day-to-day living may be stressful and sometimes hazardous if your spouse is a “angry drunk.” When your spouse is intoxicated, you have no way of knowing what will make them upset or how they will react. As a result, there is now no clearly effective method of preventing your partner from exploding.
If your spouse is a “angry drunk,” you have nothing you can say or do to provoke or prevent an outburst; their fury is almost always unavoidable. If your partner is a “angry drunk,” you have nothing you can say or do to cause or prevent an outburst.
The creation and implementation of a safety plan may help many partners of “angry drunks” realize that, although they cannot prevent their partner from behaving violently toward their partner, they can reduce the amount of damage done to them. It is possible for a partner of a “angry drunk” to better react to risky circumstances if they have a safety plan in place, which provides them with numerous options for getting away from an angry outburst before things get violent. You may want to examine the following tactics if you’re having trouble creating a personal safety plan:
Keep an eye on your partner’s drinking habits and attempt to see any trends in their conduct that might indicate an impending fight or outburst. Try to create an excuse to get away from them before they reach the stage when they get hostile, for example, if you observe that they turn aggressive after the third drink.
Carry out a short tour of your house to get acquainted with all of the available access and departure points. Make a strategy to guarantee that you can get out of each room without being hurt.
Put together an overnight bag that has a couple of days’ worth of clothes, toiletries, and other necessary goods.
You may consider keeping it in your vehicle, at a friend’s home, or anywhere else that you could readily access to if you wanted to leave immediately.
If your house becomes hazardous, reach out to friends or family members in the area to see if they can provide you with a place to stay. You should be aware of where their extra key is stored so that you may simply get access to their home if they are sleeping or out of the country.
Maintain easy access to your phone and keys by charging them both. In the event that your spouse is often stealing your phone, try investing in a reasonably priced pay as you go phone and concealing it in a safe location in your house.
This may guarantee that you have a lifeline to first responders in the event that your spouse becomes violent. If they steal your keys, try concealing a set of replacement vehicle and home keys in a location where they won’t see them.
If you find yourself in an uncomfortable position, you should consider installing a personal safety app that allows you to contact with police enforcement, first responders, and/or chosen loved ones if necessary.
Create a “safe word” with your family and friends that you may use to alert them if you are in danger or need help.
Make certain that the individuals with whom you interact the most are aware of this term, and have a strategy for what to do if they ever hear you say it.
Consult with any trusted neighbors about whether or not they should contact the police if they hear your spouse ranting or destroying items.
Keeping a few doorstops throughout the house will make it more difficult for your spouse to follow you into a room if you are alone.
Remember that, while the strategies listed above can help you stay safe before or during incidents of abuse, they are by no means exhaustive; every person’s relationship is unique, and as a result, every person will need to develop a plan that is tailored to meet their specific needs in order to stay safe.
Consider contacting your local domestic abuse program or dialing the National Domestic Violence Hotline to talk with an advocate for assistance in developing a more tailored and in-depth safety plan for yourself or your loved one.
Obtaining Assistance When Dealing with an Angry Drunk
Finding assistance for a “angry drunk” is not always straightforward. You may notice that they are getting more aggressive in their day-to-day contacts with you or other people in their lives, even when they are not drunk. You may also notice that they are becoming more aggressive in their day-to-day dealings with you or other people in their lives.
When you’re attempting to confront your partner’s bad behavior, this may make an already challenging discussion much more difficult. Despite the fact that many individuals would want to approach their spouse and tell them, “Hey, you’re an angry drunk, and I believe you need assistance,” doing so will not always result in beneficial outcomes.
Many “mad drunks” would justify or excuse their actions in order to avoid accepting responsibility for causing another person grief or suffering. They may try to convince you that their conduct isn’t as significant an issue as you believe it is, or they may even attempt to place responsibility on you for their behaviors. When faced with the truth, these are some of the most frequent reactions.
Unfortunately, there is no one “correct” method to obtain treatment for or with a “angry drunk.” There is no one “proper” approach to get help for or with a “angry drunk.” Every individual must choose if it is worthwhile to attempt to recover their relationship or whether the harm inflicted by their spouse is irreversible. In the end, you are the one who knows what is best for you.
In order to continue working on your relationship, you might try having a conversation with your spouse while they are sober about their drunken behavior and how it is affecting your marriage. Take into consideration confronting them with texts, images, or videos that demonstrate the sort of person they become after consuming alcoholic beverages.
This might be a vital wake-up call for your spouse to help them understand that they have a problem, despite the fact that it is tough to communicate. If your spouse isn’t open to one-on-one chats, or if you believe it would be safer to deal with them in a group environment, try enlisting the assistance of friends and family members who have observed your partner’s drunken conduct to assist you in talking with your partner.
Prepare to discuss with your spouse about various treatment choices, regardless of how you want to have this conversation. In order to effectively address this issue, you must choose a comprehensive treatment program that addresses both their drinking and their anger management issues at the same time.
This will ensure that your partner has the scaffolding necessary to change their behavior by learning how to better manage and cope with their emotions. A comprehensive treatment program, including individual and group therapy, has been shown to be one of the most effective interventions.
Both individual and group sessions can help your partner learn more about their behavior and how it is tied to their thoughts and emotions, allowing them to take responsibility for their past actions while also learning how to prevent future harm.
Additionally, other therapies, such as massage or meditation, are often utilized in conjunction with these attempts to provide additional support. Regularly check in with your spouse while they are undergoing therapy to assist them recognize what is and is not working so that you can make necessary modifications.
If you determine that your relationship cannot be repaired or that it is too hazardous for you to be engaged with your spouse, choosing to leave will save you a great deal of misery in the long term.
However, although this might be a freeing and powerful choice, it can also have unintended consequences; for many partners of “mad drunks,” leaving their relationship can place them in even greater danger than they were before.
Because of this choice, their former spouse may get enraged, and they may strike out in fury. If you suspect that this is the case, consider contacting a local domestic violence organization; a trained advocate can assist you in adjusting your safety plan, discussing the advantages and disadvantages of filing for an order of protection, and even assisting you in finding safe shelter if necessary.
Many “mad drunks” find that individual therapy is beneficial, regardless of whether they choose to remain in or leave the marriage. Consulting with an appropriately trained professional can provide you with a safe space to express your feelings while also helping you to work through any lingering feelings you may have about your partner’s past words or actions. Talking with a licensed mental health professional can help you to process through any lingering feelings you may have about your partner’s previous words or actions.
“Anet is a highly skilled professional in her field of expertise.” … She is trustworthy, does not “take sides,” asks excellent questions, is empathic, and has helped my partner and me in a variety of areas other than our immediate relationship concerns… She also has experience with addiction, something my boyfriend was struggling with at the time of his death.
My boyfriend and I have become much closer as a result of our sessions with Anet over the last several months. We are considerably better at understanding one other’s needs today, and as a consequence, we are less likely to inadvertently harm each other than we were before. “I would strongly advise you to hire Anet as a professional counselor.
When I drink, why do I get enraged with my partner?
The use of alcoholic beverages might exacerbate the feelings that a person is experiencing. You should consider reducing your alcohol usage or quitting completely if you notice yourself becoming often irritable or overwhelmed with your partner when you consume alcoholic beverages.
You may behave in ways that are not advantageous to your long-term well-being when you are angry, which makes managing this feeling tough.
If you wish to quit drinking, you may want to consider receiving professional assistance. Theraputic intervention may assist in identifying what causes you to get agitated, whether you are sober or under the influence of alcohol.
Many individuals find it difficult to be in the company of someone who has a drinking problem, and it is important to detect the warning signals as soon as they appear.
What does it mean to get enraged when under the influence of alcohol?
When individuals drink wine, they often report feeling more calm. On the other hand, it may heighten feelings that they’ve been attempting to keep under control. If you’re beginning to suspect that you may have a drinking problem, it’s critical that you get assistance for the benefit of yourself and your loved ones.
A therapist can assist you in quitting drinking without imposing judgment on you, as well as in understanding why you get angry when you are inebriated.
If you find yourself becoming aggressive or emotional, you may want to stop drinking. In addition, it may cause you to doubt whether or not you have a drinking problem or are addicted on alcohol. The most beneficial thing you can do is get professional counseling from a competent counselor who can assist you in sorting through your feelings.
What is it about my guy that makes me so enraged and irritable?
This might vary depending on the nature of the connection. It’s possible that you and your partner are experiencing underlying tension that may be handled via proper communication. If you are unable to have a constructive talk about the problems that are hurting you, it may result in underlying difficulties that will manifest themselves when you are inebriated. It’s crucial to attempt to express your feelings, no matter how tough or daunting it may seem at first.
This may be simpler if you think about what it is that you are furious about and then come back to it after you have regained your composure. Afterwards, you may choose what your genuine sentiments are and how you wish to express them verbally.
The fact that you or your spouse has a drinking issue may be causing friction in your relationship, and you should discuss it with your partner is crucial. Many individuals find it difficult to quit drinking, and having a solid support system may make a significant difference in their ability to stay sober.
Is it OK to express your displeasure with your boyfriend?
People become angry with their partners from time to time, and this is entirely natural; everyone gets angry at some point in their lives. In addition, if one individual fails to quit drinking or allows impulsive choices to dictate their attitude, problems might occur. These scenarios may be difficult to deal with when you’re on the receiving end of either end of the stick.
There is a distinction between being in a good relationship with conflict and being in an unhealthy relationship.
If you or your spouse is having difficulty quitting drinking, you must first come to terms with the circumstance. Individuals who are impacted by alcohol might find recovery through their interpersonal interactions, despite the fact that it can be a challenging process.
What kind of alcoholic beverage makes you happy?
Despite the fact that alcohol is considered a depressive, some individuals report that drinking may induce emotions of contentment or comfort in them. This is one of the reasons why so many individuals struggle to quit drinking.
Despite the fact that consuming alcohol has become a relatively typical part of society, it continues to have an impact on our emotional sensitivity. It may assist individuals in putting feelings that need to be addressed aside and avoiding confrontation as a result of doing so. However, it may also lead to individuals discussing topics they would have like to keep private or saying things they would never say otherwise.
Each individual must be conscious of their own personal connection with alcohol as well as the ways in which it influences their daily lives and relationships.
What is it about drinking that makes me go insane?
If you begin to believe that you are making illogical judgments when under the influence of alcohol, it may be time to quit drinking. Despite the fact that some individuals can consume alcohol on a daily basis and feel comfortable doing so, many others are uncomfortable with how they respond to circumstances when they are inebriated.
But if you start to feel like alcohol is amplifying your negative feelings, it may be time to break the connection and stop drinking.
What is the definition of a poisonous relationship?
What constitutes a “toxic” relationship is determined by the actions of the individuals involved. It is possible to detect whether or not your relationship is heading in an unproductive or even poisonous path by looking for certain tell-tale indications. Here are a few things to keep an eye out for:
You don’t feel comfortable in each other’s presence.
If you’re worried that your spouse may lash out, you’re right.
You don’t feel comfortable expressing yourself or your feelings.
You are feeling alone as a result of your connection (starting to drift from other friendships and relationships)
What is the definition of a toxic girlfriend?
Toxicity in a relationship is often linked to controlling behaviors and justifiable anger, both of which are common in toxic relationships. Despite the fact that disagreements are frequent among couples, persistent challenges may be indicative of the need for mental health therapy.
If your spouse is making you feel uncomfortable, it is critical that you take steps to safeguard your physical and mental well-being.
You should seek solo or couples therapy if you begin to believe that your relationship is becoming toxic. Despite the fact that it may seem like a big step to take, a therapist is the most appropriate person to share your thoughts with.
They are professionals in assisting you in recognizing problematic habits, and they possess the necessary abilities to assist you in moving ahead. Though it may be tough to walk away from a relationship that is laden with heavy emotions, doing so is often the most powerful move you can take in the direction of future happiness.
