How to Cope with Miscarriage Grief
Miscarriages, which are defined as a loss of a pregnancy during the first 20 weeks of pregnancy1, are prevalent in women who are pregnant. It is estimated that between 10% and 20% of pregnancies will end in miscarriage.
Despite this, despite the fact that miscarriages are quite prevalent, many of us are unaware of the emotional toll they may have on the woman who has one.
It’s true that grieving after a miscarriage exists, but it’s not something that’s often spoken. Many pregnant women are expected to just pick themselves up and go on with their lives after experiencing a miscarriage
“You may always give it another go,” they are told. Most of the time, there is no safe area where individuals may express their grief; the mourning process is typically quiet and unsupported.
Unfortunately, things are changing, and many of us are becoming more aware that suffering severe sadness following a miscarriage is normal, and that individuals who have had a miscarriage need care and assistance.
Look at what the mourning process looks like after a miscarriage, how to deal with miscarriage sadness, and when additional assistance may be required to help you through it.
According to new research, miscarriage increases the risk of post-traumatic stress disorder (PTSD) in both partners.
Emotional Reaction to a Miscarriage While everyone’s emotional response to a miscarriage will be different, it is common to suffer profound sadness after losing a baby.
If you are several weeks pregnant and have already begun to feel your baby move, have informed many people about your pregnancy, and have begun making preparations for your baby’s birth, the sorrow may be extremely strong for you.
Even early pregnancy losses, on the other hand, may be quite traumatic.
Many of us get emotionally linked to our infants as soon as we learn that we are pregnant, and even an early miscarriage may seem like a devastating loss to us. Early losses may be particularly tough since you may not have even informed anybody that you were pregnant at the time, and you may feel as if you must mourn in silence as a result of this.
Typical Signs and Symptoms
A miscarriage may have a variety of emotional consequences, in addition to loss and grief.4 Some of the most typical emotional consequences are as follows:4
Exhaustion and exhaustion are common feelings.
a lack of desire to eat
I’m having trouble sleeping.
Guilt
Anger \Shock
Anxiety \Depression
Typical Experiential Situations
Again, each individual will mourn their loss in his or her own unique manner, and there is no “correct way” to grieve. Grief, on the other hand, has no set timeframe. A few days or weeks of mourning may be enough for some individuals, while others may discover that their sadness lasts much longer than they anticipated. 3
Listed below are some other frequent thoughts and feelings that you could encounter when mourning your loss.
You Might Hold It Against Yourself
Many women who have a miscarriage are ready to place the responsibility on their own shoulders. Some women believe that they miscarried their child as a result of anything they did or as a result of failing to take as excellent care of themselves as they should have. However, missing your prenatal vitamin a few of times, working overtime, and engaging in vigorous exercise will not result in a miscarriage. The majority of miscarriages occur as a consequence of a genetic abnormality.
There was nothing wrong with you.
You Will Go Through Several Stages of Bereavement
You will go through the phases of grieving, just as you would with any other loss: from shock to rage to acceptance.
Other individuals may reach the “acceptance” stage sooner than others, while some people will experience negative feelings such as rage for a longer amount of time. When you are grieving, it is typical for you to experience varied emotions from day to day. Once again, there is no one who will be there for you while you are grieving after a miscarriage.
Your Changing Hormones Are Making a Difference
Miscarriage is unquestionably a painful and emotional event. While you are pregnant, it’s crucial to remember that your hormones are changing, which may add to the emotional rollercoaster that comes with a miscarriage. You should experience your first post-miscarriage menstrual cycle in approximately 4 to 6 weeks, but it may take several weeks for your hormones to normalize following a miscarriage.
This process may add to the intensity of your sorrow.
Depending on your situation, you may find some things to be triggering.
After your miscarriage, you may find it difficult to be around newborns or to hear the news of a friend’s new pregnancy after the loss of your child. As the months pass and your due date approaches, you may also experience emotional upheaval and triggers. All of these are very normal feelings, and it’s quite OK for you to need to take a break from some of the things that are causing you difficulty right now.
You and your partner will experience grief in different ways.
Frequently, the person who has had a miscarriage will show greater visible indications of loss and mental pain than the person who has had a healthy pregnancy. Your spouse may not be suffering the loss in the same manner that you are — and may also be preoccupied with their position as a support person — but they are almost certainly feeling the same kinds of emotional effects as you.
Communicating your sentiments to others and encouraging them to share their own feelings may be quite beneficial in a variety of situations.
How Can You Tell If You’re Suffering From Grief or Depression?
How to Handle the Situation
Every person’s miscarriage experience will be unique, and their coping mechanisms will be unique as well. Listed below are some considerations to bear in mind as you begin to recover from your loss.
Recognize that your emotions are completely normal.
Many people will likely want you to move on as quickly as possible after your loss. If you are going through a difficult time of grief, others may believe you are being overdramatic. Also conceivable is that you miscarried before you formally revealed your pregnancy, in which case your whole pregnancy will be kept hidden and quiet from the public.
The fact is that, for far too long, it has been the societal standard not to talk about miscarriage loss sadness. As a consequence, many individuals are unaware of how widespread the problem is, and they believe that their sentiments are inappropriate or forbidden. This is, of course, far from the reality. Grief following a miscarriage is more common than many of us were led to think, and it’s quite normal to be feeling this way at this point in time.
Allowing yourself to “Feel the Feelings”
It is possible that you may be surprised by the strength of your emotions after a miscarriage, and that you will feel a want to put these strong emotions away. However, the most effective method to deal with your emotions is to go through them.
Attempting to ignore them, push them away, or run away from them will almost always make things worse. Also keep in mind that melancholy is not the only feeling you may be experiencing. Guilt, wrath, shock, and emotional numbness are all normal emotions to experience after a traumatic event.
Make a Memorial to Your Loss
Many women find it therapeutic to create a physical or symbolic monument to their pregnancy. Based on the stage of your pregnancy at the time of your death, it may be feasible to arrange for a burial of some kind.
You may also want to have a mourning ceremony with a small group of close friends and family members. Other folks may wish to do things like plant a tree in memory of their lost baby, light a candle, create a scrapbook with significant objects from the pregnancy, or have a piece of engraved jewelry created in their baby’s honor to remember him or her.
When Should You Give It Another Shot?
Most physicians would advise you to attempt for another pregnancy once you’ve had one regular menstrual period after your loss. This normally happens 4 to 6 weeks after you’ve had a miscarriage, depending on the circumstances.
Some women believe that trying straight away is the best course of action, and that being pregnant as soon as possible would aid them in their recovery from the pain of their miscarriage. Others, on the other hand, will wish to hold out a little longer. Even while your body is technically “ready” for another pregnancy, it may take longer for you to recover emotionally from your last experience with childbirth.
It’s also common to be particularly concerned about having another miscarriage if you decide to try again. There is no reason to believe that you will have a higher risk of miscarriage in the future unless your healthcare professional determines that there was another factor that contributed to your miscarriage. After a miscarriage, the majority of women go on to have healthy pregnancies.
However, it’s reasonable that you’d be concerned about the situation. If you have continuing health issues or lasting worry, you should speak with your healthcare professional about it.
What Does It Mean to Be Bereaved?
When to Seek Additional Assistance Everyone who has had a miscarriage may benefit from additional support, even if it is only the ability to express their thoughts to a close friend or family member. Some individuals will find that degree of assistance sufficient, but others may want more comprehensive assistance.
- Therapy
It may be beneficial for you to seek treatment if you are exhibiting symptoms of sadness or anxiety, or if your emotions of sorrow are interfering with your ability to function normally. You might ask your healthcare physician for a recommendation since it’s frequently quite beneficial to talk with a therapist who has extensive expertise in assisting individuals through the grieving process after a miscarriage.
- Support Groups are available.
Taking part in a miscarriage support group might be one of the most beneficial things you can do to help you process your loss. When you have a miscarriage, it is a unique and difficult experience, and being able to connect with others who are going through the same thing may be helpful. It is critical to understand that you are not alone, that you are not overreacting, and that your sentiments are legitimate.
In addition to miscarriage support groups in person, there are several online resources. You might contact your healthcare physician for a referral to a local miscarriage support group if you are experiencing difficulties.
What Is Bereavement Therapy and How Does It Work?
The process of grieving following a miscarriage is not straightforward. One day, you could feel a bit more normal, but the next, your sadness can strike you like a ton of bricks and knock you to the ground. It is possible that months or years may pass before anything will bring back memories of your pregnancy, and you will be taken back to your first sentiments of loss.
It is certain that you will grieve your loss in some manner, but with time, the sharpness of your emotions will fade and become more tolerable. Having said that, some women who have miscarriages suffer longer-term consequences and need more time and effort to recover from the trauma of the event than others.
You should always consult with your healthcare professional if you are experiencing difficulty functioning as a result of your miscarriage bereavement, or if your loss has resulted in serious mental health difficulties such as anxiety, depression, or post-traumatic stress disorder (PTSD).
