Dating Someone With PTSD

If you’re dating any one who suffers from post-traumatic stress disorder (PTSD), your relationship may seem like a rollercoaster at times. Understanding post-traumatic stress disorder (PTSD) may assist you in supporting your spouse, navigating your relationship, and establishing a strong foundation.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Learn more about how to support your partner in this article.

Recognizing and Managing Posttraumatic Stress Disorder

What is Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder (PTSD)?

Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder (PTSD) is a mental illness that may reveal itself after experiencing or witnessing a traumatic incident. PTSD, which affects almost 8 million individuals in the United States every year, is an extraordinarily prevalent disorder that may be conquered with the correct support system and therapy. 

 

 

People suffering from post-traumatic stress disorder (PTSD) are often misunderstood, despite the fact that they are widespread.

 

 

 

 

 

What Are the Symptoms of Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder?

Among the possible PTSD symptoms are:

 

Dissociation from reality (e.g., experiencing flashbacks to a horrific experience);

Distressing dreams and nightmares; invasive, disturbing thoughts or recollections;

Having trouble recalling the specifics of a distressing occurrence;

Disruptions in sleep; feelings of remoteness or numbness;

 

Physical responses to memories of prior trauma; disinterest in favorite hobbies; active avoidance of everything related with past trauma;

The development of a negative self-perception or world perspective;

 hypervigilance; difficulty focusing on ordinary chores; and
Constant emotions of dread, rage, humiliation, or guilt.

 

 

It is crucial to remember that no two individuals will experience trauma and its aftereffects in the same manner, and that dealing with trauma is a highly unique process. People suffering from post-traumatic stress disorder (PTSD) may experience a wide range of symptoms at varied degrees of intensity.

 

 

 

 

What Is the Impact of Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder on Intimate Partner Relations?

In certain situations, dating and relationships may be difficult for persons who have had post-traumatic stress disorder (PTSD).

People often claim that “we accept the love we believe we deserve.” There have never been a truer set of words said about post-traumatic stress disorder. 

 

 

While many survivors are aware that their prior experience was not their fault, others may continue to hold themselves responsible for anything that occurred. This may lead individuals to assume that they are unworthy or unlovable. 

 

 

These firmly held views have the potential to have a profound influence on their relationships. When persons suffering from post-traumatic stress disorder (PTSD) are unable to recognize their own worth, they may withdraw from others in order to protect themselves—or in an effort to protect others from them. Close connections might be difficult to sustain as a result of this.

 

 

 

 

 

Furthermore, those who have post-traumatic stress disorder (PTSD) in relationships may find it difficult to feel safe and secure, even in healthy partnerships. Because of this lack of trust, persons suffering from post-traumatic stress disorder (PTSD) may find it difficult to communicate their demands to their relationships.

 

 

 A person who has experienced trauma as a result of past domestic or sexual violence or as a result of a previous abusive relationship should be cautious about trusting new partners for fear that they will end up reliving their past, or for fear that the relationship will trigger difficult feelings and emotions.

If you or a loved one is suffering relationship abuse or domestic violence, please get assistance. The National Domestic Violence Hotline is a free and confidential resource that is available 24 hours a day, seven days a week, 365 days a year. The phone number is 1-800-799-SAFE (7233). 

 

You may also text “START” to 88788 or start a live conversation on the internet at TheHotline.org. The Hotline offers survivors of domestic violence with critical tools and assistance to help them live their lives free of abuse.

 

 

 

 

 

Learning to Love Someone with Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder (PTSD) from their partner’s perspective
rawpixel.com is the source for this image.

 

 

 

Prepare Yourself for Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder (PTSD)

Do you remember the ancient adage, “Knowledge is power?” You may attempt to make this your slogan. Investing the time to study about the consequences of traumatic stress and treatment alternatives will help you better understand and sympathize with your spouse, as well as be educated about how to assist them.

 

 

 

 

Establish and Maintain Healthy Boundaries

People suffering from post-traumatic stress disorder (PTSD) may find it difficult to create appropriate boundaries in their relationships. Some persons suffering from post-traumatic stress disorder (PTSD) may establish strict boundaries with their relationships in order to protect themselves from being injured again. As a result, they may be reluctant to open up to you or to place their faith in the things you say to them. 

 

 

On the other hand, your spouse may develop permeable boundaries in an attempt to divert their attention away from themselves. When this occurs, they may overshare personal details and devote all of their attention on caring for you. 

 

In any event, taking the time to connect with your spouse and discussing the importance of having healthy boundaries in your relationship for both of you may be a beneficial step.

 

 

 

Learn about your partner’s triggers.

Even ancient tragedy may reopen old wounds. People suffering from post-traumatic stress disorder (PTSD) may relive their prior traumas when particular sights, sounds, odors, sensations, experiences, and other factors trigger them. 

 

 

Understanding your partner’s triggers might assist you in determining what may be stressful to them. Let’s say your spouse is unable to identify certain triggers or does not feel comfortable addressing them. In such situation, you can make a note of anything that seems to be exceptionally distressing to them in your day-to-day contacts with them. 

 

 

 

Recognizing behavioral or emotional changes in your relationship may assist you in assisting your partner or teaching you how to avoid your partner from experiencing triggers when they are with you.

 

 

 

 

Provide reassurance

People suffering from post-traumatic stress disorder (PTSD) often feel unlovable. This sensation might be triggered by a poor self-perception that has evolved as a result of the trauma they have endured. If you find that your spouse is struggling to perceive their own worth, encouraging them that they are cherished and loved may be beneficial. Even the smallest of guarantees may go a long way.

 

 

 

 

Establish open channels of communication.

Someone suffering from post-traumatic stress disorder (PTSD) may find it difficult to convey their views or wants with a current partner, particularly if they have had terrible experiences in previous relationships. If your spouse comes to you for help, showing them unconditional love and acceptance may be calming and can promote communication. 

 

 

It may be beneficial to abstain from responding with astonishment if your spouse relates details of prior traumatic occurrences; instead, try a more positive reaction, such as thanking them for entrusting you with such crucial information and reassuring them that they are secure with you. 

 

 

This sort of answer may assist in validating your partner’s sentiments and letting them know that you appreciate the tremendous value of discussing their memories and feelings with you. As a result, your spouse may feel more secure and comfortable talking to you. 

 

 

They may realize that you are not criticizing them for what has occurred to them in the past, and as a result, they may feel more comfortable sharing more with you.

 

 

 

Create a Safe Haven

People suffering from post-traumatic stress disorder (PTSD) may seldom feel genuinely secure. While your spouse may be aware that they are physically secure from harm, prior trauma may have tricked their brain into feeling that there is a continual possibility of danger.

 

 

 As a result, your spouse may get easily agitated about little conflicts or imagined dangers. They may then feel excessively remorseful, emotional, or even furious as a result. In order to better assist your spouse, you can consider asking them about what safety means to them and how you might help them feel secure while you’re together.

 

 

 

 

Don’t take it personally.

Many persons suffering from post-traumatic stress disorder (PTSD) struggle on a daily basis to come to terms with their past. When survivors of traumatic situations are extremely vulnerable, it is common for them to lash out at others around them. If this occurs, you may want to remind yourself that it is most likely their misery speaking, not your partner’s. 

 

 

While their statements may seem to be highly personal, they may really be a more immediate (even if wrong) reaction to a specific stressor. Taking a deep breath and reacting with compassion rather than anger may be a beneficial start that can help neutralize the heightened emotions. 

 

 

However, if you find yourself lashing out on a regular basis, discussing how your partner’s words and behavior impact you might be a wise move. You, too, deserve to be treated with compassion and respect.