Confidently Handling Difficult Conversations
It’s not always easy to have a productive chat at work. For women, it’s far worse. Here are three tips to help you deal with them calmly.
Women are badass at a lot of things, including putting on makeup while driving to work (we didn’t say well, though…); rushing to the next meeting while holding our keys, phone, laptop, files, and coffee in one hand; and caring for a baby at the United Nations General Assembly (we’re looking at you, Jacinda Ardern).
Even Wonder Woman has days at work when she doesn’t feel quite so magical. Her dealings with nemeses General Erich Ludendorff and Cheetah, for example, may need as much assistance as Steve Trevor’s aircraft crash off the shore of Themyscira.
Even superheroes have trouble finding the perfect words, particularly when the situation is unpleasant and uncomfortable. However, there are three techniques you may use to manage uncomfortable professional interactions.
#1: Your Friend Is Fear
A woman speaks with passion during an Ibiza festival.
Confronting events that are out of your comfort zone might be frightening. Termination, harassment, inequity, and mansplaining are just a few examples of difficult dialogues.
But, hey, if Wonder Woman can do it, you certainly can, too.
You could think of her and other extraordinary girls as powerful, courageous, and empowering heroines. But it’s the fact that they work with their fear rather than against it that makes them so extraordinary.
Fear, you see, aids our reaction to things that may do us damage. That is a natural occurrence.
We give fear strength and turn it into a villain far too frequently. So much so that our forebrain has a hard time overriding our amygdala’s response to tell us there’s nothing to be fearful of (where emotions are given meaning and linked to emotional memories).
“We’re terrified of something so powerful that it’s beyond our capacity to control, and our conscious mind can’t reverse that,” says Joanne Cantor, a professor at Wisconsin University.
What To Do If You’re Afraid To Have The Talk
What if fear has had enough of playing the villain? What if it just want to be seen as one of the good guys for a change? What if you regard fear to be your dependable sidekick?
When you’re afraid, remember these three things, according to Lisa Nichols, CEO of Motivate the Masses and author of Mindvalley’s Speak & Inspire Quest:
You’re being warned by fear. This feeling, like the others, feeds you information to say “go learn more knowledge about that issue so you can feel more powerful.”
What matters in your life is what you do with it. So, let it educate you and pay attention to it.
Stories are made up by fear. They’re also tales that haven’t occurred yet or may never happen. Fear, on the other hand, causes you to make one up in your mind.
For instance, you are concerned that you will be wounded in your current relationship. You’re imagining something that hasn’t occurred yet.
Make create a new tale for yourself, one that will motivate you to succeed rather than fuel your fear.
It’s OK to be afraid of failing because it’s quite normal to fail. “You genuinely give yourself permission to soar when you give yourself permission to fail,” Lisa continues.
You will never fail if you refuse to take the risk because you are afraid of failing. You will never be able to fly, though.
#2: Speak from the Heart
Females and guys communicate differently. Girls, on the other hand, prefer to minimize their power while guys extol it.
“If [girls] communicate in ways that play up the notion that there may be a leader in the group or that they believe they’re brilliant at something,” says Deborah Tannen, a linguistics professor at Georgetown University. “The other females will critique them,” she says.
She goes on to say that many women in positions of leadership will find methods to seem less dictatorial and less authoritative in the workplace.
How To Convincingly Handle The Debate
With commitment, engage in difficult discussions. It’s about mentality before technique, according to Lisa Nichols, author of Mindvalley’s Speak & Inspire Quest. Two points stand out for her:
Determine the kind of influence you’d want to have. We absolutely understand if you said, “I want people to understand my point.” While most talks follow this pattern, it’s important to know who you’re speaking with and what scenario you’re in before you begin.
Begin by considering how you want to conclude the discussion. Consider how powerful, graceful, and effortless your message was presented. Now…
What are the reactions of your audience? Were you able to make an impression on them? When you open your mouth, what do others expect to happen?
Make a list of the specific objectives you want to achieve, and then talk to achieve them.
Make it easy for others to believe what you believe. People feel like they can connect with you when you’re enthusiastic about your message and open about it.
Lisa, for example, often discusses her weight loss. Many of her listeners have approached her and expressed their appreciation for the message she has delivered.
It was this degree of intimacy that boosted her message’s effect. It can also help you with that.
#3: To Disrupt, You Must Be Disrupted.
Lisa Nichols interjects to create a commotion.
According to Kathy Caprino, career coach and author of The Most Powerful You, “girls lose one-third of their confidence by age 13.”
She discussed a research that contrasted a woman expressing in a boardroom meeting, “I don’t agree with the way the team is headed here,” to a guy saying the same thing. The audience thought the woman was “much less skilled and valued in dollars than the guy,” according to the study.
Unbelievable.
It’s past time for a snafu.
So join us in saying this: your voice is important. Your voice matters, I’ll say it again.
You could be here to figure out how to handle a difficult talk that’s coming up. However, it’s unlikely that this is your first. It won’t be the last time you do anything like this.
How to Start a Dialogue
This is your chance to grasp the fact that you must be interrupted in order to conduct talks like a boss and move people with your tale. (This is a genuine “Oh, darn!” moment.)
Allow yourself to be shaken up. Allow yourself to change into someone who honestly feels that their voice matters, that what they say matters, and that who they affect matters.
By the way you live each day, you are writing your legacy. Because your words shape your life and your experiences, you’re authoring your legacy via the way you talk. Your life is molded by your encounters. Your life will leave an indelible mark on the world.
Disturb now. You may be concerned about being judged or offending others. When you speak, on the other hand, your voice empowers you to break free from your mediocrity and encourage others to stand out for themselves.
Regardless Of The Consequences, Using Your Voice
Be prepared for the repercussions if you handle talks confidently. Because when the status quo is disturbed, opposition is almost always there. There will be some who are ardent in their opposition to you.
But keep in mind that your voice isn’t for talking, shouting, screaming, ordering, or being in charge. It’s about confidently communicating your truth so that you and people around you may have a successful, satisfying job.
