Bisexual pornography: how harmful is it?
In a poll conducted by Stonewall and YouGov, 42% of bisexual respondents said that sexual orientation may have motivated them to experience sexual abuse.
Biphobia, stigma, and preconceptions, such as the idea that bi persons are promiscuous or even cheats, are to blame for this.
But how are bisexuality and a disproportionate amount of sexual violence related? And, what function does bi porn have in such things?
The threesome is one of the top ten most searched phrases on Pornhub, and it is (very much) the only example of bisexual sex shown on video-sharing websites. However, how does this portrayal impact how bisexuals are seen in modern society?
We’ll have to go back a little to understand that (to the naughties, specifically). This was a moment when bi-curious-cum-queer-baity performances titillated on a massive scale, attracting the Sauron-like eye of the male gaze and causing a tremendous media frenzy.
Subcultures were accused of “cultivating bisexuality” (a courteous reminder that sexuality isn’t a choice). It’s also where a lot of the foundation for current biphobia in popular culture was probably laid.
Being bi in the 2000s
My bisexuality plays a significant role in who I am. It has, nevertheless, always seemed fetishized. So much so that, as a teenager, I never felt comfortable coming out or figuring out what being gay meant. I often stood by while friends who were braver than I were exposed to our larger friendship circle, only to be treated with vulgar and sometimes vicious objectification.
“I wasn’t going to kiss the lady I loved at a party just so the lads could circle jerk each other and feel like they had a right to get involved,” the man said.
There was a quagmire of sexism to wade through by the time I was a teenager growing up in the 2000s. It was a time of American Pie, “Scotty Doesn’t Know,” Tatu, a (very, really problematic) band, and, if you were involved in the emo movement, posters of alternative females kissing girls and guys adorned every boy’s bedroom.
The hypersexualization of female sexuality was covered off as independence in Front magazine. At the MTV Awards, Britney Spears and Madonna shared a kiss. Katy Perry also gave a girl a kiss and seemed to enjoy it (apparently).
Therefore, any emotions I may have felt at the moment were suppressed. At a party, I wasn’t going to kiss the lady I loved just so the other guys could circle-jerk each other and feel like they had a right to join in.
How media biphobia permeates society (and porn)
It suggests that bisexual people like me are “easy,” promiscuous, confused, greedy, untrustworthy, non-committal, unicorns to the ménage à trois mix of MFM, FMF, MMFM, and FMFM combos, just a phase, too gay to be straight, and too straight to be gay, which is a damaging legacy for bisexual people like me.
As a consequence, both queer and non-queer settings have partially eradicated bisexuality.
These incidents have created a divide between individuals who do not experience bisexuality and what it entails, which puts bisexual persons at greater risk of rape, stalking, relationship abuse, and murder than nearly any other group in society.
Bisexuality in contemporary porn
Even though bisexual representation is starting to take root in popular culture in 2022, just 23% of individuals believe that it accurately reflects LGBTQIA dating experiences. Sex education is not doing well either. Given this lack of information, as a young adult, I had resorted to porn to learn what bisexuality and sex looked like.
At best, it is problematic how bisexuality is portrayed and fetishized in porn.
This is not unique to me: Only 6% of LGBTQIA individuals thought that their education had given them confidence in their sexuality, hence 64 % of them turn to porn as a form of instruction.
Porn was not intended to be used as a teaching tool, but too few young people today possess the literacy necessary to distinguish between fantasy and reality.
The way bisexuality is portrayed and fetishized in porn is, in my opinion, terrible, says sex expert Rachel Worthington of the sex site Bedbible. “Year after year, its popularity grows, and phrases like “threesome” and “gangbang” are more used in searches.
Although it might appear that this growing popularity is good for greater bisexual visibility and acceptance, the truth isn’t quite that straightforward.”
Worthington, who identifies as bisexual, thinks that bi fetish porn plays a significant role in the erasure and biphobia of the bisexual community. She said that porn is unrealistic, fantasized sex, and that the actors’ true sexualities are mostly ignored.
Worthington went on to say that not every bisexual would be open to having sex with every other woman or acting as the “third” partner in a heterosexual relationship in the real world.
“Additionally, not all straight women are open to trying things out with other women! Although porn still portrays this kind of sexual flexibility as the norm, bisexual persons and their relationships are not taken seriously by many people, particularly males.”
However, this does not only harm women. Bisexual males are often excluded from conversations.
“Unfortunately, male bisexuality is not often shown in porn. Instead, it serves as an industry and mirror for society. The male bisexual performers who work in the porn business are still subject to discrimination. Luckily, improvements are being made “According to Paulita, who founded the porn website Lustery.
What’s worse is that penetration seems to be the single measurable indicator of what constitutes and does not constitute bisexual sex.
The rules specify that a three-person act is only deemed bisexual if penetration is provided and received by both male and female participants.
As a result, the main subject of bi pornography is penetration.
The idea that bisexual individuals are always up for anything or that we’ve all had threesomes, which we haven’t, is reinforced by depicting bisexual sex solely in a threesome scenario.
Placing penetration at the center of satisfying sexual encounters eliminates many potential sources of pleasure, including sensuous caressing, filthy conversation, tantric breathing, and the use of external devices.
The idea that bisexual individuals are always up for anything or that we’ve all had threesomes, which we haven’t, is reinforced by depicting bisexual sex solely in a threesome scenario.
And even then, just because some of us like having more frequent and casual sex doesn’t imply that doing so invites solicitation. We are not here to satisfy your wants. We don’t even exist to serve as a background for fetish.
According to Anna Richards, creator of the pornographic website Frolicme, “I firmly think that we should attempt to utilize language in porn that emphasize on the practices rather than the identities, sexualities, or bodily attributes of performers.”
In addition, she says that it’s crucial to represent marginalized people and that we should support terminology that people choose for themselves rather than impose terms that fetishize individuals and identities. She also believed that the way bisexuality is portrayed in porn depends on the search phrases used.
“Using search phrases is a complicated problem here.” She clarifies, “Although I would prefer not to be so identified, it does assist in identifying scenes from a variety of movies for individuals looking to particularly hunt for places to explore.
Additionally, it is useful when looking for websites similar to mine online among a sea of tube sites. When it comes to the names of pornographic movies, we have a special naming technique that focuses more on the kind of pleasure being shown than on sexuality.”
Is bisexual porn troublesome still a problem? Yes and no, respectively.
“There is a bigger ethical issue with treating individuals like a fetish or a label; we see this occurring often with a variety of phrases that are used to characterize people. Larger bodies, older women (‘MILF’), and the fetishization of race (‘BBC’) are some examples where we see this “Self & More Sex Toy Boutique owner Poppy Lepora says.
“We are aware that porn might influence a young person’s perspective on sex. Many of the videos on popular porn websites include sexual aggression, very kinky behavior, a lack of safer sex techniques, and blatantly categorize individuals into certain sexual categories (i.e. bisexual, teen, MILF). We must educate children that porn is not representative of real life and that women in particular are not sex objects “Lepora remarked.
What then is the remedy?
How can users of pornography improve?
Consuming porn made by individual performers (or couples, throuples, etc.), as on OnlyFans, implies that persons who are identified as bisexual are doing so voluntarily and giving an accurate picture of bisexuality, according to Lepora.
You may also switch to a membership or PPV website like CHEEX, Erika Lust Cinema, Lustery, or Four Chambers to watch porn more morally. She goes on, “These are businesses that produce or commission porn, making sure that all parties involved are compensated.
They place more of an emphasis on quality material than just quantity since they are less motivated by keywords and clickbait than tube sites.”
There is unquestionable power in where you put your money and where you spend your data, even while the cultural debate around depictions of bi-life is lacking from other elements of our society, such as more inclusive and representative sex education.
With this in mind, we should maybe be more vigilant than ever about the stuff we consume. A slower, more deliberate approach to digital voyeurism might do more for you than just help you enjoy masturbation in a world where mass manufacturing and immediate satisfaction have become a dopamine-induced industry.
Therefore, even if you may like bi porn, questioning your views about bisexual sex outside of a pornographic setting might make it safer for individuals like myself to live more genuinely and securely.
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