8 Tested Ways to Make My Kid Less Clingy
As a parent, seeing your child become more dependent on you is a very stressful experience. For the first few moments, it’s rather endearing to have your tiny one begging for your attention; particularly if this is your first time as a parent. The moment, though, when it begins to transition from wanting more cuddling to hanging to your legs and begging you to remain, it is heartbreaking to see.
So, what exactly causes children to become clinging, and, more importantly, what can be done to prevent this behavior?
Understanding Your Toddler’s Obsessive-Compulsive Behavior
Although it may not seem comforting at the moment, most toddlers go through a period of clinginess. Natural growth milestones may arrive out of nowhere, and it can be difficult to predict when they will occur. Their behavior may be unpredictable; one minute they’re happy racing up to houseguests, the next they’re clinging to you and shying away from other people.
Clingy behavior may be prompted by a variety of different circumstances. It may be the beginning of nursery school or the arrival of a new sibling. Some children are even stimulated by the prospect of going on a trip. Any disruption in their schedule, as well as being surrounded by unfamiliar objects, might be stressful for your child to experience.
When a kid prefers one parent over the other, this is something that many parents find difficult to deal with. The worry isn’t limited to situations in which they’re confronted with strangers; it might also manifest itself in the form of a sudden desire for just one parent or the other. If this occurs to you, don’t be alarmed; it’s very normal. The most important thing to remember is that they are just temporary periods that will pass.
To begin, you must shift your perspective from believing something is bad to believing it is really pretty normal. This is the most difficult step to do.
No matter what the reason for their clinging behavior, it is possible to assist them in overcoming it, and we will discuss some of the most effective strategies below.
How to Deal with Obsessive Compulsive Behavior
Following your knowledge of the normal development of clinging behavior in your baby, let’s look at what you can do to assist him or her…
1. Make an effort to understand what they are going through
– This is not always simple! Toddlers have extremely limited abilities to comprehend and regulate their emotions, but there are certain strategies you may use to help them grasp their anxieties.
First and first, attempt to determine precisely what it is that is causing the undesirable behavior. Once you’ve worked it out, you might try to explain it to them in an effort to make them comprehend. To put it another way, if they are hanging to your legs while you are cleaning, you may say:
“You want mother to play with you, and I want to play with you as well, but I have to clean first.” You have my commitment that when I am through, I will play with you.
Although it may not be effective, this kind of comment may help your toddler realize that you understand how they are feeling and that you do want to be there for them, which can be a fantastic source of comfort for them.
2.No matter how bad the behavior is, never ignore or punish it.
No question, having a clinging toddler may be difficult, but it’s crucial to remember not to vent your irritation on your child or to disregard the behavior altogether. What this really does is to give your kid the impression that they have nowhere to turn when they are feeling uncertain or terrified. When they are with other people, this might make them feel even more terrified and, in the case of social situations, bashful.
3. Consider a Change of Scenery
– There will be days when no amount of rationalization will appear to be effective in your house. So, if you find yourself becoming extremely annoyed with your child’s clinging behavior, take him or her outside for a short period of time. It may be anything as simple as a quick stroll, a trip to the park, or even a trip to the grocery store. Getting out of the home and experiencing a new environment may be quite beneficial for both of you.
4. Don’t Try to Avoid Being Away From Them
— It may be difficult, but resist the temptation to avoid being away from your kid in order to make the situation more pleasant. They do need to learn how to be apart from you, and in most circumstances, toddlers aren’t angry for lengthy periods of time when this happens.
Once you’ve left, it may take a little time for them to calm down and acclimate to their new surroundings. Also, if you give in and don’t leave when they raise a commotion, it will just encourage them to repeat the behavior every time you have to go from your home or office.
If you want to escape the heartbreak of seeing your child angry when you leave, don’t sneak away without telling him or her that you’re going somewhere. As soon as they discover you’ve abandoned them without saying goodbye, the trust between you will be severely eroded.
Maintain as much composure as possible while saying farewell to your loved one(s).
If you start to feel anxious, they will pick up on it and get agitated very soon.. So remember to smile, keep happy, and say farewell in a peaceful manner.
You’ll be filled with guilt as soon as you leave and anxious to know how they’re getting on, so try not to check in on them too much.
In contrast, if you check in on them too regularly, it will make things much more difficult for everyone concerned; this is particularly true if you’re requesting to talk with the youngster to ensure that they’re all right.
The fact that your child cannot see you may cause them to get frustrated and may even urge you to return home. The incident will lead you to feel unhappy since they are now agitated, and the caregiver who is caring for them will become anxious while attempting to cope with the problem.
Allowing your child to succeed in becoming more independent via praising is quite beneficial throughout the clinging stages of their development. This includes things like playing independently, finding new acquaintances, and even assisting you with household duties around the home. Praising them for these actions will send the message to them that they are more than capable of completing things on their own without you continually watching over their shoulders to ensure their success.
Another advantage of allowing your child to assist you around the home is that it will encourage him or her to gain confidence. Setting them activities they can do demonstrates to them that they are valued and provides them with a genuine feeling of accomplishment. In addition, the more confident they get in their abilities to do tasks, the less clinging they will be.
Increasing social connections gradually may help to alleviate clinging behavior in situations when it is activated more often by unfamiliar people. The two most important things to remember in this situation are that you shouldn’t attempt to force them into social situations or force them to engage with people.
Begin by bringing them to a park or a small play group to get them used to the idea.
After that, let them to engage at their own speed. They may not want to engage with anybody at all the first few times, but as you expose them to more and more little social settings, they will gain confidence and grow more independent. After that, you may gradually increase the number of persons with whom they come into touch.
What is the best way to convince your kid to quit following you?
As a general rule, if a toddler is following his or her parent, it is because they are worried. If you can identify the source of their worry and assist them in dealing with it, they will naturally become less worried and more comfortable while they are not in your near presence. Anxiety may manifest itself in a variety of ways. One of these methods involves following you around. Nobody is more important to our children than you are.
They are completely smitten with you. They feel comfortable in your company, and they are confident in your ability to be there for them at all times.
Unfortunately, this implies that your child will be underfoot a lot more frequently.
The fact that you have to cook or clean or even go to the restroom while doing this might be distracting and daunting.
Whatever the age of the kid, there are a few steps you may do to encourage them to stop following you or at the very least to provide you a little amount of personal space.
Make sure their love bucket is brimming up, no matter what their age.
Spend a few minutes each day cuddling with them, reading to them, and otherwise showing attention to your kid. This will help your kid feel cherished and will make him or her more emotionally capable of dealing with being apart from you. After that, assign them certain chores to do.
Children like assisting their parents. It empowers them to feel like a responsible adult while also bringing them closer to you.
If your kid is younger, this might be a difficult experience for you. It’s possible that she won’t do things precisely the way you want them done, but keep in mind that you are teaching her independence. Allow her to do the task in her own manner, and then follow up behind her to make any necessary adjustments. The most important thing is to be patient.
She may assist with putting the groceries away or using a Swiffer Sweeper to clean the floors in the house. Allow her to dry the plastic cups while you’re doing the dishes. Allow her to take the items out of the dryer and place them in the laundry hamper.
Don’t be afraid to compliment her on a regular basis.
For example, “I really appreciate the way you dried those cups!” or “Thank you for pulling the things out of the dryer!” “Thank you very much!”
Don’t simply shower her with compliments; shower her with particular compliments. This will assist to build her self-esteem and inspire her to attempt new and more autonomous activities.
What is it about my kid that she is so attached to me?
Toddler girls are naturally clinging since their parents are the ultimate source of protection. As girls get older, clinging daughters may be a symptom of worry or anxieties, especially if they are more attracted to a parent than to their peers or other family members.
To reiterate, if we’re talking about toddlers, this is perfectly natural.
Your youngster will gain more self-assurance as time goes on. She’ll be able to navigate the world on her own, without your continual guidance and assistance.
Don’t push her away if she is holding on to you or if she seems to be in need of some additional attention. Instead, offer her a plush animal to cuddle up to and relax with. In the event that she is holding on in a position that makes it difficult for you to move about, such as on your leg, try convincing her to merely rest a hand on your leg or hold on to your jeans instead of holding on tight.
Maintaining clear limits in a caring and consistent way is essential.
You will be able to move about more freely as a result. It will also aid in the gradual cessation of the habit. Daughters being clinging gets less and less common as they go through elementary school and beyond.
As a result, it is critical to identify and address the source of their fear.
Even while it might be nothing, it could be tied to a sexual assault or the start of an eating issue, to name a few possibilities. And if left untreated, one of these conditions may be fatal.
Diverse types of parenting methods may have different effects on children.
For new parents, and even experienced parents, it may be difficult to determine what role you play in your child’s upbringing. Learn about various parenting styles and how our actions might impact our children’s behavior by reading a recent article published on the subject.
