When I Had My First Sex

I managed to sneek out of my parents’ home a week before my fifteenth birthday. 1988. walked to the party, which was in the surfer-heavy area of Lake Forest (yes, that’s right, the OC!) My outfit consisted of a thin peach blouse with a black bra beneath and a short black 80s skirt with three ruffles that were tied down the side. She was a blonde. Because of the Sun-In, I had an extremely blonde complexion. Was a tan color. It was very fucking adorable, to be honest. I was being extremely brave because I hung out with punks, losers, dorks, and retards, but I really wanted to lose my virginity to a boy solely based on his appearance, because I couldn’t find one who was worth my time, and I was fucking horny living among all those pliable sun-bleached-brained boys. I was fucking horny living among all those pliable sun-bleached-brained boys

I went from surfer boy party to surfer boy party seeking for a lad to fuck. It’s possible that someone who craved sex insanely strongly might burst upon touch. It was obvious to the girls that I had come alone, that I didn’t like any of them, that this was not my scene, and that I was invading their guy cliques. I strolled about with my beer in a keg cup, staring boldly at every single one of them; I had no regard for any of them, and I walked as if I were in a force field, my eyes wandering like the Terminator’s.

There were four males who were coveted by all of the girls. She and her friends were the bright lights of El Toro High School. They were referred to as the Grommets, after the fish that spent their days playing in the water and their nights fucking on the beach. They were just perfect. Their brows were touched by the sun, which flared with their self-assurance. Andy was the name I wished for more than any of the others. It astounds me that I could have just forgotten his last name over the previous year or two, but I did. 

Maybe I’ll remember what you said. Something that begins with the letter S. I lusted for him with all of my heart, yet he had no idea who I was. I didn’t care about getting to know him; all I cared about was fucking him. As a result, I avoided approaching him or conversing with him at school. I didn’t do anything except stroll by and desire. Mark Gotro was his closest friend and confidante. Mark was not only gorgeous, but he was also a grommet. My attention was drawn to them as I poured more beer into my cup and listened in on their conversation. Andy was emphasizing that his objective for the evening was to earn a lot of Really Big Tits (really big tips). His only want, his only concern was to be with her. He was a year older than me and had been fucking for what seemed like an eternity to me. This was particularly devastating for me since I was a blossoming B-cup at the time.

It also helped to decrease my inhibitions about approaching them, knowing that I had little chance of succeeding. So I introduced myself to them and took a few steps back to observe these fifteen and sixteen-year-old princes. We had a nice conversation, and Paul, who was the least attractive of the four, but was still fairly fuckable, appeared to be quite interested. I recall adding that I’d been in such a rush to get out of my home unobserved that I hadn’t even bothered to put on underpants! My hand rests on the cherry-shaped lips I’m clutching.

Then something extraordinary happened. Kevin Gotro, the uber-king of the surfers of Laguna Beach and Mark’s elder brother, made an appearance, complete with his eighteen gorgeous years. Then he ruffled Mark’s hair, moaning that there was nothing else to do that night but his younger brother’s celebration. Despite having skin so tanned that it left freckles on his cheeks, where his cheekbones shone brightly, he towered over us in all his six-foot-tall glory, his broad shoulders strong and his golden eyes dancing as if he were an old wise man and we were all just a bunch of foolish fools drinking kool-aid. I didn’t say anything to him when I saw him. I didn’t say anything, just gazed at him. I inquired as to which room belonged to his sibling. Just as I had predicted, Mark smiled and yelled out my question with a booming voice. Kevin looked at me with a smile. I didn’t say anything. I simply gazed. “Do you want to see?” he inquired.

We took the elevator up to the second floor. Up until that time, I had dreamed of doing anything like this for half of my life. I was planning to dress up like a tiger. I would come up with a slew of smart and funny one-liners. Instead, an episode of The Wonder Years, which had aired the night before, flashed across my head. He and Winnie were standing on a hill, and they were finally, fucking finally, going to tell each other that they loved one other. He traced circles with his foot as they stood on the crest of the hill. It represented timidity as well as profound sentiments of devotion that could not be expressed verbally. While in the bedroom, my foot kept catching on the thin awful carpeting, and I tried to act like the nice naive girl with the older guy, but my foot kept snagging on the carpet, and I must have looked extremely silly. 

He looked at me with a smile on his face for a moment. Then he climbed up to his bed, which was a bunk bed, to rest. He didn’t utilize the bottom since it had been removed to make more room. The lights were turned off. We kissed each other up in the upper right-hand corner of his chamber. It was the very first time I’d ever kissed someone in the French manner. In other ways, it seemed like I was swimming underground in a seething cave. I had completely forgotten about sex and was just interested in kissing him. I couldn’t bring myself to stop kissing. At that point in my life, I was definitely masturbating two or three times a day at the very least. On certain days, I simply let myself have it for the rest of the day. Being a latchkey child and everything it entails. My intentions were purely sexual at first, but I soon found myself diving into his lips and not wanting to come out. As the light streamed in through the window, I would open my eyes for a split second to get a sight of him, fearing he would come to a halt if he noticed my gaze. The door remained closed, and I continued to steal looks at him, amazed that I was kissing such a lovely guy.

Then Andy walked through the door. With a female companion. Despite the fact that I didn’t glance down, I knew he’d discovered another woman who had large breasts. Kevin didn’t say anything, he simply continued kissing me, and I wasn’t going to stand in the way of his affection. During the time we were listening to Andy acquire her breasts, we moved our tongues and touched each others body. She was protesting, foolishly, and attempting to make the matter more complicated than it already was. And it’s not like she’s doing it in the middle of a kegger in a room full of other people. He was being as insensitive as a sixteen-year-old charming shit can be when it comes to other people’s feelings. She was as self-assured as any fifteen-year-old could be: “Does he really only want me for my tits?” she wondered aloud. Yes, he does, my darling. And everything is Ohhhkayyy.

After a while, she gave in, and we could hear him groping her to his heart’s delight in the quiet. The fact that our tongues were still rolling like the waves he surfed caused Kevin to grow enormously, and by then we were completely nude. More wet than I’d ever been in my life, to the point that I couldn’t think straight. My engorged lips lingered wide mouthed at the sight of his bulk looming over me in the dim light of the streetlamp. It was paradise that appeared in that brightness, above me, and was going to swallow me up completely. When the lady below me said, “Andy,” Kevin looked down for a split second, which meant he had to whip his hair back over his face to clear his eyes, which was delightfully satisfying music to his ears. My legs were too close together, and he fumbled as he attempted to get in before pushing me.

It was the most excruciating sensation I’d ever experienced. Despite the fact that I believed I’d shattered bones and would be unable to walk again, I felt the heat of the body’s responses to pain surge up over my pelvis, and I tried not to make a sound as Andy sat below me. I attempted to whisper: “Please, no, it hurts too much, take it out.”

Andy’s voice shot up as he pushed himself out of his molesting position “Yes, indeed! Kevin!! Dang!”

Kevin was determined not to be deterred. He attempted to calm me by brushing my hair back from my forehead and said that all he needed to do was be kind and slow and everything would be fine. Even as he attempted to bring him out carefully, I felt like I was being ripped apart from inside. I let him to push in once more and it didn’t feel any better, which seemed to me to be the cruelest joke of the gods to be perpetrated on me of all the well-executed ridicules I’d endured. I begged him to go, and he became invisible to me as a result of my desperation. “Well, can you, at the very least, suck it?” he whimpered as he sat back in his chair.

I’d never done anything like that before, and the results were really hilarious. Given that the only words I’d ever heard were “suck it” and “blow job,” I was under the impression that you just sucked it like you would a lollipop. Neither up nor down, simply place your lips over it and suck, come up for air, which was evidently required, and then – blow? Then I squeezed it harder and tighter till I had to release it, then blew on the tip of the syringe like a vacuum cleaner. We all fell asleep after he allowed me to continue in this manner for quite some time, which must have perplexed him to no end. He eventually pushed me off the couch and said “nevermind.”

I woke up when I heard him waking up in the morning and pretended to be asleep for a bit. He got up slowly enough at first, but then, after a little pause, he leapt out of bed, causing a disturbance in his bathroom, and then I heard his renowned Orange VW bus pull away from his own home, which I took to be his famous Orange VW bus. It hurt, but it was worth it.

I sat up, which was not surprising considering the events of the previous evening. There was blood all over the place, literally as if I had been slaughtered, on the sheets, my legs, the blanket, and everything else. It was similar to Carrie. I couldn’t comprehend how such a large amount of blood could have come from me. Later on, I would discover that it wasn’t only Kevin who had gotten me so soaked; I had in fact begun my period at the same time as Kevin that night. I stumbled to the toilet, horrified to see that I had been oozing blood the whole time I was there, and attempted to clean myself as best I could with my bare hands.

I crept back into the house via the doggy door since I couldn’t shower at that hour without waking up Mom, so I slept for a few more hours in my soiled clothes. After my shower on Sunday morning, I headed to my mother’s house to get Tampax for the day.

“Oh! My small daughter has grown into a young lady!” She burst into tears.