What Should I Do If I Love My Husband But Don’t Feel Sexually Attracted To Him?
Even the most stable of relationships have up and down times, and marriage is no different. After a few years of marriage, you will suffer depression and become disinterested in it. Either you and your spouse have fallen out of love, or there are other factors that have contributed to this.
You may even come to the realization that you are no longer attracted to him. However, you are aware that you still care about him; it is only that the sexual urge is absent. It seems that you are stuck in the “I love my spouse, but I’m not sexually attracted to him” quagmire.
Why aren’t you experiencing any sexual desire any longer? What should you do in this situation? You’ll find everything you need in this article.
The Reasons Why You Are Not Sexually Attracted To Him
Now that you are no longer sexually attracted to your spouse, you must determine why this is the case so that you can address the issue later.
First and foremost, you were never attracted in the first place.
Let’s be honest about this. Not everyone got married because they were attracted to one other sexually. Consider the reasons why you married him: the way he treats and respects you, his duty for the family, or your compatibility with one another.
You’re completely unaware that you’ve never had any sexual attraction to him in the first place. He is more concerned with emotional well-being than with bodily well-being.
Also see: Is It Possible to Have a Successful Relationship Without Physical Attraction?
2. His physical appearance has changed dramatically.
Physical attractiveness and sexual attraction have a close relationship. When his physical appearance does not appeal to you, it will be difficult for you to be sexually attracted to him. Perhaps it is because he has gained over 10 kg in recent years or because he is balding that he is no longer as attractive as he used to be. He’s not the same attractive man who made you fall in love with him the first time.
3. He has hurt you and you haven’t been able to go on.
You have lost your sexual attraction to him as a result of anything he has done or said that has wounded you. You have a different perspective on him now. Every time you look at him, all you can see is the thing that made you feel so bad about yourself. It’s as though every little thing he does is a defect in your estimation.
Check out this article on how to make your boyfriend understand that he has hurt you.
What Should I Do If I Love My Husband But Don’t Feel Sexually Attracted To Him?
4. He had stopped being attracted to you before anything else.
Another possibility is that he has lost interest in you as a result of his previous attraction to you. Your husband’s urge to have sexual relations with you will be hard to satisfy if he is no longer interested in them.
Dealing with It in the Right Way
I adore my spouse, but I’m not attracted to him on a sexual level. As a husband and wife, you must work together to make your marriage function properly.
1. Participate in Thrilling and Exciting Activities as a Group
Increase your adrenaline levels so that you may experience the desire for sex. There are numerous activities to do that are truly enjoyable: skydiving, roller coaster rides, and even attending a rock concert can get you pumped up.
Make this a regular occurrence for the two of you. According to a research conducted in the United States, engaging in thrilling and exciting activities with your spouse boosts sexual desire between you both.
In addition, see: Summer Activities to Do with Your Boyfriend on a Spontaneous Basis.
2. Look him in the eyes with all your heart.
To be honest, this may seem a little strange and odd at times, but it has been scientifically established that looking intensely into someone else’s eyes increases your attraction to them. You should make it romantic rather than spooky for a married couple, rather than the other way around. It’s best to do it at night before going to bed. Try not to go for too long at first; aim for approximately two minutes at the most.
3. Keep in mind what it was about him that you liked the most.
There must have been periods in your marriage when your spouse was in his finest physical and mental condition. Your wedding day, when he looked more gorgeous than ever, the first time he held your baby in his arms, or the first time he took you out on a date without the kids are all wonderful memories.
Work with your imagination to accept just the positive aspects of him and let go of all the negative feelings you have since he has injured you. When you recall it, you will understand that he is more deserving of your affection than all of your mistakes.
4. Allow Yourself To Be Consumed By The Feeling I adore my spouse, but I’m not sexually attracted to him.
Why? Because you were never able to absorb the connection fully. When you and your spouse are becoming sexual, put everything else aside: his appearance, your wounded feelings, his mistake, and so on. Allow yourself to be completely present in the moment.
Take pleasure in the sensations you get when he touches you in the correct areas. Allow yourself to get enthralled and swept away. Once you’ve made it, the sexual desire will begin to reappear again.
5. Attend a Couples Therapy Session
When you’ve done all you can and things still don’t appear to be getting better, it’s time to take things seriously. It is important to recognize that losing sexual desire to your partner is a serious issue. It has the potential to have a negative impact on your marriage, resulting in adultery and perhaps separation.
Seek expert assistance as soon as possible to avoid the worst case scenario. Attend couple therapy jointly in order to get marital counseling. It’s an excellent time for you to figure out why you aren’t feeling attracted to your partner any more.
Is it due of him, or has it been a part of you from the beginning? Everything will be revealed, and you will discover the solution to the problem. As a result, you are able to salvage your marriage.
You may also be interested in: How to Keep Your Man Happy in a Relationship
6. Be Straightforward About Your Situation
Admitting that you are not sexually attracted to your spouse is one of the most difficult things you will ever have to do. You would be hurting him, and you would be hurting yourself. However, all that is required to resolve this issue is honesty. You must be honest with yourself about how you are feeling so that you can work together to find the greatest solution.
Whether you decide to go to couple counseling, attempt to work things out between you, or seek professional assistance, everything must be agreed between you and your significant other first. You are unable to resolve this issue on your own. Keep in mind that you and your partner are the only ones in the relationship. As a result, you can only make it work if both of you put up significant effort.
It is not the end of the relationship if you no longer have sexual interest for your spouse. It’s only a phase that you must pass through in order to be safe. Most crucial is determining the root problem so that you may either salvage your marriage or put it out of business for good.
