What Is the Best Way to Get a Guy to Open Up Emotionally to Me?
Kate has posed the following question:
I’ve been seeing this man who lives about an hour away from me for the last several months. Our social media conversations are ongoing every day, but he doesn’t say much, even when he approaches me first.
Given that he is the owner of a company, I would attribute this to his being overworked. We also don’t call each other, and I don’t want to come out as pushy or needy by inquiring about our lack of phone calls or our inability to have meaningful, in-depth talks.
My query is as follows…
How can I get him to open up to me on a more emotional level? He’s normally very reserved, yet I believe he has a real affection for me. Is he acting in order to be able to’score’ the next time we hang out with each other?
Greetings, Kate.
Let us first distinguish between being silent and being uninterested in what is being said. It’s certain that there will be a strong argument over this, but remember that you stated it yourself, he’s normally pretty quiet, so maybe his not saying much is only a matter of habit and he actually does like you.
Humans have a variety of various love languages, and as a result, they will need and give forth a variety of different sorts.
The Five Love Languages (in order of importance)
Perhaps he is more of a present provider than a receiver? Could it be that he is more the kind to give you a hug and not say anything?
It has been suggested by Gary Chapman that human beings show love in five distinct ways:
Quality time as a gift
Acknowledgements and compliments
Acts of benevolence
Touching someone physically
With this in mind, attempt to determine whether he is just expressing his thoughts in a different way than you would expect him to.
It’s also a good idea to know what sort of language you’re more likely to use in order to determine how compatible you and your partner are.
Take part in the Questions Game.
This may appear to be a bit childish at first, but studies have shown that asking specific questions to get to know each other can end up opening the communication channels extremely efficiently, which could help him feel more comfortable in opening up to you and perhaps it can also help you feel confident enough to ask directly (if you feel so inclined) if he truly likes you. So, ask some questions to get to know him and see how it goes.
The ideal policy is one of openness and truth.
Unless you have access to a lie detector, there is no fool-proof and 100 percent definite means of determining if someone is being honest or lying to achieve what they want (and even then, they are not infallible!).
As a result, the most effective course of action is typically to be completely honest with yourself. Trust your instincts, and if you ever get the feeling that you aren’t receiving what you deserve, speak out loud and clearly about it. Don’t be afraid to be assertive; as long as you’re not impolite, you’re unlikely to come off as aggressive or aggressive-looking.
There is no score zone. Unless, of course, you want to!
A disclaimer is necessary since the last portion of your query raises some warning flags. Please keep in mind that you owe no one anything, not even if they are sincerely interested in you!
If you want to’score’ the next time you see him, go ahead and do it; but, don’t feel like you have to do anything at all.
You may urge him to take things slow if he actually cares about you, and he will respect your requests. However, in the event that you are both into the notion of “scoring,” please be careful and enjoy yourself while doing so.
