What Is Sternberg’s Love Triangle?
Love is a complicated human feeling that psychologists have been studying for a long time, and as a consequence, numerous ideas have emerged about how people feel about themselves and others. Sternberg’s Triangular Theory of Love is a popular name for one of his theories on romantic relationships.
Note that this should not be confused with a love triangle, which occurs when two individuals compete for one another’s affections. More information on the triangle theory of love will be provided in this article. –
Who is Sternberg, and what is his background?
Robert Sternberg is a psychologist who has conducted extensive research on a wide range of topics related to human psychology and behavior. Among the topics he has researched are intellect, wisdom, thinking patterns and leadership.
He has also investigated hate and love, which is particularly relevant to this subject. Apart from the triangle theory of love, or simply the theory of love, he has additional hypotheses, such as a triarchic theory of intellect, which he describes as follows:
Although it seems tough, Sternberg’s theory of love was successful in explaining a complicated human feeling via the use of graphs and diagrams.
There are three triangles in the triangle.
The usage of geometric forms is a favorite method of communicating thoughts. Graphs and pyramids, for example, may assist in explaining complicated topics to the general audience in a visually appealing and easy-to-read format.
There are three components of love represented by the triangle’s three points: Intimacy may be found at the top. A burning desire may be seen in the bottom left. An expression of commitment may be found at the bottom right. Prior to explaining more about the idea, let us unpack these three things first.
Having a close relationship with someone and making friends
A sensation of closeness to someone indicates that you are intimate with them. Not all of them have to be romantic in nature. With your friends and family, you may be more personal. In order to be in love with someone, you must have a deep connection with them and be able to share intimate moments with them.
If there is intimacy in a relationship, it is more than likely only a friendship between the two parties involved. Many romantic relationships, on the other hand, begin as friendships, and the triangle will often form as a result of this.
Passion and infatuation are two words that come to mind when thinking about love and relationships.
It feels like you have a fire burning in your belly or a swarm of powerful feelings when you’re in love with someone or with something. If you want to fall in love with someone, you must pursue your passion.
The individual piques your interest so much that you can’t stop thinking about them, and every time you’re with them, you have incomprehensible sentiments.
By itself, passion is nothing more than a passing fancy. You have affections for someone, yet you never take action to express your sentiments to that person. As a result, your feelings for someone are usually fleeting.
Dedication and a Love that is devoid of passion
When you make a conscious decision to remain with someone and make plans for the future, you are committing to them. When you’re by yourself, your relationship is a hollow love, where there is no connection or desire between you. If you don’t love someone, what would be the point of committing yourself to someone for the rest of your life?
Empty love is usually the product of a lengthy marriage in which the two of you once had closeness and passion, but it has since faded away. You are, nonetheless, still together, whether for financial reasons or because you have children. In addition, arranged marriages have the potential to result in hollow love.
Nonlove
Your partnership fails to score any points in this situation. An friend or colleague with whom you communicate but with whom you have no true relationship might represent this kind of person.
Combination of Points
As previously said, we discussed the points and what occurs when a relationship just comprises one point of the connection. Examine what occurs when the two points are connected and set aside for a moment.
Romantic Love is formed by the union of passion and intimacy.
A lot of relationships start on this side of the triangle, which makes up the left part of the triangle. Two individuals meet, strike up a conversation, and soon find they have emotions for one another, which is called mutual attraction. A romantic relationship develops as a result of this.
However, since it is a new relationship, the romance is usually ablaze with passion, but it lacks dedication. Because the two of you are most likely not forming life plans at this point, commitment will either come later or will be impossible to achieve if the relationship does not last long enough.
Companionate Implies intimacy plus commitment
What Is Sternberg's Love Triangle?
companionate occurs when there is no passion present yet the two of you have a strong connection and are committed to being together. A companionate may be used to describe a variety of partnerships.
It may characterize a long-term marriage in which the spark has been extinguished, but the pair still cares for one another and wants to live together. It may be used to describe intimate friendships or families in which the two of you share a room. The right-hand side of the triangle is formed by this.
Fatuous Love is created by combining passion and commitment.
This is the bottom side of the triangle, and it’s a fascinating side to look at. This occurs when two individuals have great affections for one other and desire to commit to each other, but they do not have the personal connection that is necessary to keep their marriage going strong.
This might manifest itself in the form of a shotgun wedding or a hurried marriage. Because of a lack of connection, this marriage is prone to disintegration and eventual collapse into an explosion.
Consummate Love is a combination of intimacy, passion, and commitment.
When all three sides of a triangle come together to create a triangle, this is the definition of consummate love. A relationship that includes a deep, personal connection, hot feelings from both partners, and a dedication to making it work is considered to be the finest kind of love conceivable.
A marriage that has all three characteristics will continue to have a fantastic sex life far into the marriage, will be able to handle dispute more quickly, will plan everything together, and the personal connection will remain strong throughout the marriage.
Sternberg, on the other hand, argues that it is difficult to sustain this kind of love. It is possible to acquire this kind of love early in life, but maintaining it is more challenging. He thinks that excellent couples must have open lines of communication with one another and have a strong desire to see things through to completion.
Is he correct in his assessment?
Sternberg’s thesis is no exception, as are all of the other psychological theories that have been put out. The triangle theory of love may explain many elements of love, however it is very simple in its explanations.
Everyone has their own definition, and Sternberg’s idea was tested on couples that were younger in age rather than older in age. As a result, it is not the ideal, monolithic method to explain love, but it is a useful means of evaluating it in terms of intensity.
Some Alternative Love Theories
Not only has Sternberg produced a hypothesis on how love works, but he is not the first psychologist to have done so. Here are a few more examples.
Wheel of Colors
Love, according to psychologist John Lee, is represented by a color wheel. Love is composed of three main hues that may be mixed and matched. The first color is Eros, which is the color of love and passion. Then there’s Ludos, which is a love that’s fun but doesn’t include any commitment or intimacy.
Finally, Storge, which is attachment, comes into play. Friendships and families are excellent examples of this. These colors may be used together or in different tones of each other. A fascinating hypothesis, to say the least!
When it comes to passion and compassion, there is no contest.
Elaine Hatfield, a psychologist, developed a straightforward model of love that can be separated into two categories. Compassionate love is characterized by traits such as respect, trust, attachment, and affection. When you appreciate and understand someone else, you are in a good mood.
If you like, you may relate it to a romantic relationship.
When you are in love with someone, you are experiencing deep emotions as well as a sexual desire to them. While unrequited passionate love makes you feel miserable, when the emotion is reciprocal, both individuals are pleased. Passionate love without the presence of anything else may endure anywhere from a few months to a few years.
Hatfield feels that a connection is unusual in which both are present. If the two of you enjoy a satisfying sexual relationship, you are probably not as enthusiastic about each other as you were when you first met. In Elaine’s opinion, the perfect circumstance is when your passionate love transforms into compassionate love. This is something where there may be a variety of hues available. You could be a bit passionate and compassionate at the same time, or vice versa.
Lastly, to summarize
Love is difficult to understand, and many psychologists have attempted to simplify it. Despite the fact that many of their beliefs share parallels, such as the concepts of passion and intimacy, they do not agree on anything. Perhaps all of these ideas are correct, or perhaps they are all incorrect and love is much more complicated than we previously realized.
For couples who are already married, it is possible to have a little bit of each of the three aspects, or to have more of one element than the others. Depending on the nature of the connection, the triangle may contain more shades than sides.
However, at the end of the day, you are the one who is better able to define your relationship than any of these ideas.
Seek professional assistance!
Having one full triangle is the desired outcome of the theory of love, although many relationships do not contain all of the necessary sides. However, there is still hope. Sternberg thinks that a marriage may be saved if there is open and honest communication between the partners. Many relationships do end in divorce as a result of a lack of communication, which is a pity.
Fortunately, there is yet hope. You may restore your marriage by meeting with a relationship counselor, which is one of the options. They may assist you and your spouse in communicating more effectively by teaching you alternative communication techniques, identifying the underlying cause of your arguments, and restoring the balance of all points in your triangle of relationships. It is not a sign of weakness to seek counseling for your relationship; it may assist you in maintaining your triangle and strengthening it even more. Consult with a therapist right away.
What are the three components of Sternberg’s Triangular Theory of Love, according to Sternberg himself?
According to Sternberg’s Triangular Theory of Love, closeness, passion, and commitment are the three points of a triangle that form a heart. In certain circles, they are referred to as the three elements of love. Love is broken down into its constituent parts, as follows:
Intimacy is defined as the sensation of being near to and connected to someone. In romantic partnerships, it is the sensation of being bound together. Passion is the driving force behind physical attraction and romantic relationships.
Commitment is the choice to love someone and to remain in love with them for an extended period of time. These three components of love interact with one another to form a variety of combinations that reflect distinct sorts of love.
According to Sternberg, there are eight different sorts of love.
First, there is non-love, which is characterized by the absence of any of the three components of love (intimacy, desire, and commitment). This might be the sort of connection you have with a colleague or with the barista at your favorite coffee shop, among other things.
Then there’s like or friendship, which is when there’s closeness without any kind of passion or commitment involved. This form of love is most often seen among amicable acquaintances and in the majority of friendships. You enjoy the individual, but there isn’t a lot of love between you in a romantic sense, and you aren’t committed to that love at this point.
An infatuated love is a third sort of love in which there is a lot of desire but no closeness or commitment. Crushes are an example of infatuated love, and most relationships begin in this stage before progressing to a more intimate and long-term connection.
It is defined as a relationship in which both parties are engaged yet there is no intimacy or passion between the two of them. Marriages that have endured for decades but have lost their luster as a result of time are characterized by empty love.
It is also possible to fall in love with someone just for the aim of marrying them, having children, or achieving financial security. This is referred to as “empty love.” A choice to love another person is made without any consideration for the degree of love that exists in a romantic sense.
Romantic love, Sternberg’s fifth category of love, is characterized by passion and closeness. Many relationships are characterized by passionate love, but since this sort of love is devoid of an essential element of love (commitment), they are not always able to continue in the long run.
The sixth sort of love is companionate love, which occurs when two individuals have closeness and commitment but do not share passion for one other. It is in this area that many intimate friendships, connections with family members, and even some love relationships may be found.
Fatuous love is filled with passion and dedication, yet it lacks closeness. As an illustration of fanciful love, consider a couple that falls in love rapidly and then immediately moves in together or marries each other.
They are passionate about one another, and they have made a commitment and a choice that one of them loves the other, but they have not taken the time to actually get to know one another and achieve closeness.
Finally, according to Sternberg, the eighth sort of love is complete love, which lasts forever. Consummate or total love consists of all three parts of the triangle: intimacy, passion, and commitment, and is characterized by its intensity.
This is a love that is caring and passionate. Consummate love is typically romanticized, despite the fact that it is very difficult to sustain over the long run.
How would you describe Sternberg’s triarchic theory of love to a friend who is unfamiliar with it?
Overall, all relationships are built on three fundamental building blocks: intimacy, passion, and commitment. According to Sternberg, these components of love result in the creation of eight different kinds of love.
Based on the balance of closeness, passion, and commitment present in a relationship, the sort of love experienced is distinct. Consummate love, also known as complete love, is a mixture of each of the three components of love: compassionate love, passionate love, and sexual love (sometimes known as asexual love).
What is the significance of the Triangular Theory of Love?
Sternberg’s Triangular Theory of Love is significant because it aids in the classification of relationships based on the many forms of love that are engaged in them. It divides love into three readily comprehendible components (intimacy, passion, and commitment), each of which may be evaluated and utilized to better interpersonal relationships.
What are the most significant features of the Triangular Theory of Love and the attachment theory, and how do they relate to one another?
The most significant part of the Triangular Theory of Love is that three components (intimacy, passion, and commitment) interact to generate distinct varieties of love, with all three components merging to make consummate love.
Meanwhile, the most significant component of attachment theory is that there are four basic attachment styles: secure, dismissive-avoidant, anxious-preoccupied, and fearful-avoidant. Secure attachment is the most prevalent kind of attachment. The secure attachment type is the one that is most likely to result in consummate love out of the four options.
What Is Sternberg’s Love Triangle?
