Wedding Advice for Quiet Brides
Soon, the wedding season will be here. Moreover, as someone who joyously tied the knot beneath a tree with just my husband and two close friends there to observe the ceremony as witnesses, I am intimately aware with the desire of many introverted brides for a peaceful celebration. Consequently, I was delighted to come across this article by Adrienne Jung and Karl Moore, which offers advice for the introverted bride on how to plan her wedding. (Adrienne really had over 100 guests at her wedding, so her advise is applicable to those of you who are planning a conventional wedding. )
Thanks for passing this information along to any shy brides you know.
Love,
The epitome of a normal introvert, I am and have always been, and I want to remain such. Even when I’m out and about, I like to be alone (maybe a little too much), and I seldom talk unless I’m specifically asked. Thus, it should come as no surprise that my conception of the wedding has always been a little different from the traditional fairytale extravaganza. Since I can remember, I’ve wanted to elope with my soon-to-be spouse, and this is the perfect opportunity to do it (and a witness, if legally required).
Beyond the allure of not becoming a spectacle for onlookers, I was (and continue to be) drawn to the thought that a wedding marks the beginning of a marriage, a lifetime commitment between two people, and one that I do not take lightly (or at all) in any way. The idea of throwing a party to commemorate the occasion has always seemed a little, shall we say, careless.
That comes out that I’m not the only one who feels this way. Even if the reasons for choosing to have a small wedding or elopement may differ, this kind of ceremony is becoming more common. We have to admit that it is the most convenient and cost-effective choice.
The number of companies that assist couples planning to elope continues to expand in the United States. In other instances, such as my own, it is not always possible. My fiancé persuaded me to plan a huge (by my standards) wedding, with upwards of 100 guests, for reasons that I will not discuss here.
Due to the fact that this requires me to move outside of my comfort zone, I recently reached out to a group of brides through social media and inquired about their prior experiences as more introverted brides.
Listed below is a condensed version of their advice:
Make sure you have a strong support structure in place before and throughout your wedding. Decide on one or two family members or friends with whom you are very close, and call on them for support whenever you need it throughout the planning process. Wedding dress buying, for example, does not have to be a frightening experience for the bride.
It is not necessary to have a large production, contrary to what you may have seen in rom-coms or reality television programs; in fact, many brides choose to do it alone or even simply purchase their gowns online. Having your bridal party at your head table (or not having a head table at all!) might help you stay grounded on your wedding day.
During the actual wedding, schedule some quiet time. To return to my original point, your wedding is the beginning of a lifetime commitment to your future spouse, so take the time to appreciate every moment of your wedding.
According to fate, the “first glance” is all the rage these days, providing you both some quiet time to enjoy meeting each other for the first time without having to worry about everyone else’s eyes being drawn to you. Later on, at the reception, ask your maid-of-honor or someone else you can rely on to take you away if the mingling gets too much for you to bear.
And don’t be too hard on yourself: taking a brief vacation will help you to recover and return stronger. Taking time for yourself may be very beneficial and even required as an introvert.
Allow people to express themselves. Traditionally, brides are seen as the hostess, the central figure in the celebrations. And if you’re anything like me, it seems like a prescription for one of the worst evenings of one’s life to come. However, if you are with an extroverted spouse, you should delegate the social obligations for the evening to him or her instead.
Alternatively, you might seek the assistance of your wedding party to manage small chat and introductions for you.
However, you may enlist the assistance of your wedding planner or day-of coordinator (which is a fantastic idea regardless of your budget). Ask questions at the end of the day. If you sincerely demonstrate interest in someone, they will be delighted to speak about themselves — and if you are an introvert, it is likely that you will be delighted when the attention is on someone else.
Choosing to not go down the aisle is entirely up to the couple. The reason that I put this topic until last is because it is really important to me. Whenever you speak to an introverted bride, she will tell you that her first terrified thought is of the dreaded walk down the aisle in front of all of her guests.
No matter how hard you try, nothing is certain any more. Marriage is getting more individual as traditions shift and weddings become more distinctive. It is not required to walk down the aisle. You should, however, have someone with you if you are determined to do so. This may be your father, a member of your bridal party, or even your future spouse. Final thoughts on that specific moment came from virtually all of the brides I talked with: when the time comes, you’ll forget that everyone is looking at you because you’ll be entranced by the person waiting for you at the end of that walk, and you’ll forget that everyone is staring at you.
The bottom line is that, just like with your business, friendships, and other passion endeavors, there are ways to harness your introversion and make it work for you on your wedding day so that it is really “successful.” At my wedding, I am looking forward to the chance to have private and intelligent interactions with my guests rather than dreading the enormous crowds.
No aspect of life is beyond the reach of the introvert’s ability to handle it successfully. Work together to learn from one another, and discover the “introvert method” to prosper, is sometimes all that is required. For better or worse, introversion is a part of my wedding day, my marriage, and who I am as a person – and it will remain so until death do us part….
