Want To Strengthen Self-Esteem Do These 7 Things
While growing up, I remember being extremely perplexed by adults’ actions and values. I recall being perplexed by their apparent strangeness and superficiality of their beliefs, by the apparent lack of consistency between their statements and their feelings, by an overwhelming sense that many adults did not know what they were doing, and by the overwhelming sense that they were lost and helpless while pretending to be in control.
This was a difficult and at times frightening experience. I was anxious to understand why human people acted in the ways that they did. At some point in my childhood, I must have had the belief that knowledge means power, safety, security, and tranquility.
Without a doubt, this belief had a substantial impact in my decision to pursue a career in medicine.
We’ve all experienced moments of perplexity, despair, and a crippling feeling of helplessness or incompetence at one point or another. Whether we allow such situations to define us is the question.
No, persons with high self-esteem do not suffer from or are not aware of their anxiousness at some point in their lives. These kinds of encounters, however, do not deter them. If they are afraid or in pain, they do not identify with their feelings, just as if they were ill, they would not identify with their symptoms. They do not consider pain to be a necessary part of the human condition.
1.One’s way of living is to do so mindfully, equitably, and with integrity.
It is due to the fact that our awareness performs a volitional role that we have been assigned a singular task: that of preparing ourselves to meet the difficulties of life. Our efforts will be rewarded if we live in a mindful, responsible, and honorable manner.
As I’ve previously said, we should evaluate ourselves based on what we can influence with our will. We are definitely endangering our self-esteem when we assess ourselves based on things that are dependent on the will and choices of other people. Sadly, this is exactly what millions of people do, which is a tragedy.
When it comes to self-esteem, it is concerned with the question of our basic suitability to life and, as a result, with the mental operations that underpin our actions. If we understand this, we can easily see how we are making a mistake by judging our value by measures such as our popularity, influence, wealth, material goods, or good looks, among others.
Because we are social creatures, we need some level of regard from others in order to function well. However, to condition our self-worth on the approval of others is to throw ourselves at their hands in the most humiliating manner possible.
The urge to “please” others (and to avoid being rejected) might cause us to do actions that are detrimental to our own self-esteem. Also, what are we to do when the persons we want to acquire our respect have conflicting expectations from us, such that gaining acceptance from one of our significant others means risking the displeasure of a different significant other?
Alternatively, we may take pleasure in having a pleasing look, but to base our self-esteem on our appearance is to live in fear of the passage of time as the signs of aging inexorably march upon us. Moreover, even if our physical appearance is considerably superior than our moral character, it will take a long time for our excellent looks to heal the emotional scars caused by dishonesty, recklessness, or irrationality.
2.Unwavering Commitment to Awareness: The Desire to Understand
When we observe men and women who have a strong sense of self-worth, we see a high level of dedication to awareness as a way of living.
They practice mindfulness in their daily lives.
The issue for them is to comprehend what they are doing when they act, to understand themselves and the environment around them — including the feedback they get, which informs them whether or not they are on the right track in terms of their objectives and purposes.
want to strengthen self-esteem do these 7 things
The possible range of our awareness is determined by the extent of our intellect, specifically the breadth of our abstract capacity, which is defined as our ability to perceive links between different objects (to see the connection between things). All degrees of intelligence, however, are united by a common concept of dedication to awareness, or the desire to comprehend one’s surroundings. It comprises the habit of attempting to integrate information that enters our mental field, as well as the endeavor to maintain that field growing.
The assertion of consciousness itself, the act of seeing and wanting to understand what we see, the act of hearing and seeking to grasp what we hear — or reacting to life actively rather than passively — is the beginning of self-assertion. This is the cornerstone of having a positive self-image.
3.Adults live in a bewildering world.
Many youngsters are exposed to situations that provide significant challenges to the proper development of this mindset. A youngster may find the world of his or her parents and other adults bewildering and even scary to navigate through.
The self is attacked rather than fostered. Some youngsters lose up after a series of failed efforts to comprehend adult regulations, words, and conduct, and they blame themselves for their feelings of powerlessness. When they perceive anything is wrong, they do so miserably, urgently, and inarticulately, that something is badly wrong – whether it is with their elders, or with themselves, or with something else. “111 will never understand people; 111 will never be able to do what they demand of me; I have no idea what is right or wrong, and I will never know.”
4.Creating a Reliable Source of Strength
No matter how much sorrow and confusion the kid experiences as he or she attempts to make sense of the world and the people in it, he or she is creating a great source of strength. If a person finds himself or herself in a particularly harsh, aggravating, and unreasonable setting, he or she will almost certainly feel alienated from many of the individuals in the immediate surrounding world, and with good reason.
However, the kid will not feel estranged from reality, and he or she will not sense, at the most fundamental level, that he or she is unable to exist — or at the very least, he or she has a high chance of avoiding this destiny.
The developing person who maintains a commitment to awareness learns topics, gains skills, completes activities, and ultimately achieves his or her objectives. And, of course, these triumphs serve to legitimize and strengthen the decision to reason. The sensation of being in tune with one’s surroundings seems to be natural.
A commitment to awareness, therefore — a dedication to logic, consciousness, and respect for truth as a way of life — is both a source of and an expression of good self-esteem.
We often link strong self-esteem just with the outcome — with knowledge, success, and the respect and appreciation of others — and overlook the cause: all of the decisions that, taken together, add up to what we call a commitment to awareness, or the desire to comprehend. As a result, we may delude ourselves about the true roots of our self-esteem.
5.The Desire to Be Effective
It is when we see self-esteem that we see what I refer to as “the desire to be effective.”
The idea of the will to be effective is an extension of the concept of the will to comprehend. It emphasizes the need of resilience in the face of adversity:
Continuing to seek knowledge when understanding does not come readily; seeking mastery of a skill or the solution to a problem in the face of setbacks; retaining a commitment to objectives despite facing several difficulties along the way.
The reluctance to associate our ego or self with fleeting sensations of impotence or failure exemplifies the resolve to be effective.
My personal knowledge of the topic I am presenting was greatly enhanced by seeing an incident between two colleagues, a psychologist and a psychiatrist, many years ago. The two gentlemen were first cousins, and they had both grown up in identical circumstances.
They recalled several terrible incidents involving their parents, grandparents, and other relatives.
“You came out of it in a manner that I didn’t,” the psychiatrist told the psychologist. “They were unable to reach you. I’ve often wondered what it was that drove you to keep going. It’s because I didn’t do it. “I gave up in a manner,” I confessed “
The psychologist responded by saying, “I do remember feeling pretty overwhelmed on several occasions. ‘Don’t give up,’ said a voice deep inside my body. Hold on a sec.’ I’ll try to maintain consciousness, I guess. Hold on to the hope of understanding. Don’t lose up on the belief that it is possible to be in command of your own life. Obviously, those were not the words I used as a youngster, but that was the gist of what I was trying to convey. That was the only thing I could hold onto.” “
6.”The desire to be effective,” I said on the spur of the moment.
One notion that helped me explain what I had witnessed in my clients and pupils was the desire to be effective. This principle helped me grasp the difference between individuals who felt profoundly defeated by life and others who did not.
When a human consciousness refuses to accept helplessness as a permanent and unalterable state, this is known as the desire to be effective
This is referred to as a “Strategic Detachment.”
7.Acknowledging that you are more than your problems
It is inspiring to witness someone who has been battered by life in many ways, who is torn by a variety of unsolved problems, who may be alienated from many aspects of one’s own self — and yet who is still fighting, still struggling, and still striving to find the path to a more fulfilling existence, moved by the wisdom of knowing, “I am more than my problems.”
Children who have survived exceptionally difficult childhoods have learnt a certain survival technique that is relevant to the topic we are addressing today. It’s what I term “strategic detachment.”
It is not the withdrawal from reality that causes psychological disturbance, but rather an intuitively calibrated disengagement from toxic components of their family life or other areas of their environment that causes psychological discomfort.
They have some inkling that this is not the end of the story. They hang on to the hope that a better option exists someplace and that they will one day find their way there. They are steadfast in their belief.
They understand that Mother is not always a woman, and Father is not always a man, and that this family does not exhaust the possibilities of human relationships — that there is life outside of this neighborhood — but they are unsure how they know this. This does not prevent people from suffering in the present, but it does prevent them from being destroyed by it. Their strategic detachment does not ensure that they will never experience emotions of helplessness, but it does allow them to avoid being trapped in such sentiments.
Having the desire to be effective, whether as children or as adults, does not imply that we should ignore or dismiss emotions of inefficacy when they come. It implies that we do not consider things to be permanent. We experience a brief sense of helplessness without defining our nature as helplessness. We might feel defeated for a short period of time without characterizing ourselves as failures in our core.
We may allow ourselves to feel briefly hopeless and overwhelmed while keeping in mind that, after a period of rest, we will pick up the pieces and begin moving ahead again. Our life’s vision encompasses a broader range of possibilities.
