The Personality Effects of Birth Order
It is difficult to predict one’s own personality….
In order to become who we are, a slew of circumstances must come together both before and after our birth.
This is one of the most popular branches of psychology in the professional world, and it’s even more popular in the world of consumers—after all, who hasn’t taken an online personality test or given a curious click to that “What Color is Your Aura” online quiz at some point?
What’s true is that we are driven by a desire to comprehend ourselves. Because a better knowledge of how personalities develop may assist us in making more informed decisions about how we choose to develop our own, and even about how we nurture our children.
If we speak about the factors that influence personality, we often include genetics, class, region and parenting style. But there is another important aspect that is either taken for granted or is not considered at all: the order in which people were born.
Make an assessment of your own family’s position in relation to others. Are you the first-born of your parents’ children? Which child is he/she? Perhaps you’re the youngest kid, or perhaps you’re the only child of your parents.
The position you occupy in your family’s hierarchical structure has a significant impact on the formation of your character.
Let’s have a look at how this works in a more detailed manner.
An influential 2012 study by University of Georgia psychologist Alan E. Stewart differentiates between what is known as “actual” birth order and what is known as “psychological” birth order, a distinction that has shaped the field.
As you would expect, your real birth order is your numerical position within your family in terms of chronological sequence. Psychological birth order refers to your self-perceived status in your family as determined by your birth date.
For a variety of causes, such as a big gap between the births of siblings, a handicapped sibling, or a mixed family, the actual and psychological birth order might vary from one another. However, it is vital to recognize that they may and often do vary significantly. In spite of your birth order, you are not confined to the function assigned to you.
So, let us have a look at the broad characteristics that are associated with each of the various birth orders.
Firstborns
As you may be aware, the firstborn kid—or the child who has the eldest “role” in the family—is the one who is most likely to have leadership abilities, as well as to be rule- and goal-oriented.
This first kid has the benefit of having his or her parents’ undivided attention—parents who are not already exhausted from taking care of the needs of their siblings—for the first time in his or her life. This gives the firstborn a greater feeling of self-assurance and security from the beginning.
Not everything is perfect for the firstborn, though. Read on to find out more. New parents often lay all their hopes and aspirations, as well as their blame, on this kid from the beginning.
He or she may be the center of attention, but they may also be micromanaged and scrutinized at every move, resulting in severe, overwhelming pressure to perform well. Love and success are often associated with one other in this way.
Having this knowledge may assist parents in being aware of the aspirations and goals that they may be heaping on the backs of their first kid, as well as assisting that first child in shaking off the weight that they have placed on themselves. For a firstborn kid, learning to relax and accept life as it comes is an important life skill to learn.
Children in the Middle
The middle children often find themselves with parents who have found their groove and are calmer and more laid-back than their older siblings. They also have the benefit of having an older brother from whom they may learn from both their accomplishments and their failures, as well as from their own errors.
In turn, this may result in a youngster that advances swiftly in both academics and social skills.
Although they may not express it, they may be envious of their high-achieving elder brother, who appears to garner all of the family’s attention with their continual series of “firsts”—the first to ride a bike, the first to perform in a play, the first to receive an award, and so on.
As the elder sibling is lauded and the younger sibling is fostered, the middle kid may likewise hold a position of invisibility in the family, and they may find themselves alone more frequently than not.
Please remember that you were—and continue to be—an important part of the family and that you have a lovely, distinct individuality. You are not required to aspire to be someone else.
The Personality Effects of Birth Order
Simply be yourself!
Parents of middle-children should keep in mind that this youngster need just as much care as the other children in the family. The importance of praising them, celebrating them, and loving on them cannot be overstated in the midst of the frantic day-to-day of a big family.
The most inexperienced
After all of that, the youngest kid, or the “baby of the family,” will be lavished with love and attention like no other, and he or she may learn social skills that will enable him or her to influence others in the way they desire. As a result, they may come off as exceedingly charming and gregarious.
These youngsters may be able to get away with more than their siblings and are saddled with less responsibility as a result of the absence of younger siblings to assist with childcare. Their parents are no longer concerned about child-rearing; at this point, it’s become second nature to them.
Things aren’t quite idyllic for these children, however. The youngest children may strive harder than their siblings to distinguish themselves, and as a result, they may choose a more rebellious path, which may lead them into problems. It is possible that their charismatic views may lead them to manipulate others if left uncontrolled.
For those who are the last to be born, keep in mind that life does come with its share of drudgery and obligations that must be met. Parents of these children should remember to assign certain responsibilities; these youngsters are not too young to assist with modest tasks like setting the table for supper or folding clothes, for example.
There is no fate other than what we choose.
You may, however, regain control of your own personality, regardless of your birth order, by re-evaluating your place in your family hierarchy. If you believe that your position in your family necessitates your becoming a leader, you will develop leadership characteristics.
If you believe that you are the glue that ties the family together on a social level, you will exhibit the characteristics of a mediator.
Children should learn to think above the constraints of their birth-ordered duty; they should not let it to define who they are as individuals, as parents.
Encourage children to be proud of their individual identities, to share their knowledge with one another, and to avoid birth-order preconceptions as much as possible. You will better prepare your children to build their own personalities in a more deliberate manner as a result of your efforts.
And what if you discover that you have the unfavorable characteristics of your birth order as an adult? It should be changed. Accept yourself for who you are, not for what you were born into. Avoid allowing uncontrollable forces to take control of your life.
Your personality is formed, above all, by the decisions you make throughout your life. So use your free will to your advantage, be deliberate in your actions, and become the person you want to be.
