Techniques for Men in Courtship
Everything I’ve ever heard about love has been true.
When you least expect it, it happens to the best of us. That is something I can personally attest to being true.
apart from when it is spoken for the first time
When I met my first, I was actively looking for someone.
wife. We were both 19, and she was seventeen at the time. During our conversation, my buddy and I
Taking a stroll down the avenue It had been her and a buddy.
promenading.
Twelve years later, my second wife strolled into my office….
The most unexpected turn of events in my life The next month, in June of that year,
During the summer of 1993, I went to a nearby coffee shop to unwind.
It was then that I met Joanna in my stuffy, stuffy abode! It is the time of our lives.
On the Big Island of Hawaii, you’ll find yourself in a paradise. This book is an example of an
her own personal website devoted to her.
Please see the following for more proof. In 1982, I went through a divorce.
No matter how many times I tried, I couldn’t find any women I liked and date them.
other than via a common buddy, there is no other method
at this point either she introduced herself, or I introduced myself,
(a) A social gathering
(b) A meeting of a class or group
(c) My After being a customer for many weeks, she decides to change her workplace.
Men, let’s get it started! What can we draw as a conclusion from this?
Those facts, are they correct? In the absence of effort, you possess The
Attitude Is Everything
THE DEFINITION OF THE RIGHT ATTITUDE
Some women dismiss you as a pushover if you are open about your great interest, as discussed in Reluctance, Resistance, and Tests.
When you exude too much apathy around others, you lose face. It’s all over now. Finally, some women assume that just being pleasant will lead to you being pursued! So, what really works?
Almost every woman is drawn to a guy who refuses to kiss ass. They are greatly lured by false or genuine self-assurance.
In summary, if you’re pleasant yet distant, easygoing but strong, and confident without being arrogant, she’ll date you. I’m not going to follow you, I’m sure you’re thinking. Sure, I’m kind, but I’m nice to everyone. Yes, I’m intrigued. It’s feasible if you, woman, play your cards correctly. I’m afraid I’ll have to go now.
I’ll catch up with you later. By the way, you aren’t half-bad.
Here’s how to express The Right Attitude without using words.
ALOOF TO A SMALL EXTENT
The body is frequently tilted away in an open stance.
Leaning toward her neutral or nice face is rare.
Preen every now and again.
Relaxed stance
Do not get too close to her.
Smiles that are polite
VERY INTERESTED
There is complete transparency.
Her body is facing her.
Always lean in close to her.
Preen is a serious person who preens on a regular basis.
Standing tall and ready
As much as possible, touch
Wide grins
On rare occasions, strong eye contact is made. Take a close look at her.
Give oneself a once-over and then continue to do it on a regular basis.
Ensure that your glass is stable. sensually, touch the glass
Make her feel as though she has to work harder before you make a move while you’re talking. Showing quick bursts of strong sexual and romantic desire is the greatest strategy. Isn’t it true that you can’t express yourself with words? Long intervals of being nice while being mildly aloof should be used to separate them.
SUBMISSION AS WELL AS DOMINANCE
To annoy her, throw in a few jabs and a little sarcasm now and again. This keeps her on her toes and keeps her wondering about you. It also makes it plain that she must either fish or cut bait, as well as force her to recognize that she will go nowhere if she is merely flirting in a harmless way.
Throughout the process, you must display your dominance nonverbally. The most basic kind of aggression is to lean into her personal space for a little while, then lean back out while continuing to chat.
Pretend to be someone else by placing your glass on the coffee table.
Another approach to dominate is to become bigger than she is for a little period of time. When you’re both seated, rise up as if you’re working out the kinks, but keep talking while towering over her, then sit back down.
You must convince her that you are the dominating one after proving your dominance. If you rose up to tower over her, take a few seconds after sitting down to assume a timid, shy stance. If you leaned into her personal space, lean out the same way.
OUTER APPEARANCES MATTER
People that are confident are not in a rush, aggressive, frightened, or eager. At the very least, moving and speaking slowly creates the impression of confidence.
First impressions linger.
Allow yourself plenty of time. He shouldn’t be overly cheerful, eager, or interested. Of course, this applies to both men and women, and not only in the context of courting, but also in business and office politics.
DON’T PRETEND TO BE A BETTER PERSON THAN YOU ARE.
Don’t behave like a father or a professor in any of your talks. If she asks for advise as if she were a dear friend, thoroughly state your opinion. Make ensure you’re conversing with her on an equal footing. Beg off or appear stupid if she asks for guidance in an indirect manner. It’s always a mistake to come off as better than she is.
SUPERIORITY AND ARROGANCE SIGNS
Steepling
Taking a look down one’s nose
Nose dangling in the air
Looking through one’s spectacles
Backwards handshake
Hands on back of head Examines cuticles
Crossed arms across chest
Complements that are patronizing
pats from a father
Nose snorting
STEEPLING
The person’s fingers become the top of a church steeple when palms are facing each other. He or she then pontificates. Frequently seen on talk programs when a guest educates the audience. Low Steepling and hidden steepling are similar, but they typically show confidence over dominance.
RUNNING ONE’S NOSE
Declares, “I am above you,” Insecure supervisors often use this strategy. Also common among egotistical types who have built themselves enormous but fictitious egos in a failed effort to gain self-esteem.
IN THE AIR WITH MY NOSE
Someone around here smells, and it isn’t me, he implies. I am also above you, as though peering down one’s nose proclaims. Insecure blue bloods and want tobe blue bloods are particularly prone to it.
BACKHANDS HANDS
The individual (royal) feels so certain that no one would dare to harm him that he stands and walks in a vulnerable way. This is a common pose among British Bobbies, as well as business types that consider themselves as royalty.
Techniques for Men in Courtship
BE AN EQUAL BUT STRONG PARTNER
Explain anything as though it’s easy and simply requires a quick Google search. You simply happen to be aware of it because you read about it or do it for a career. It’s possible that she or he was aware of it as well.
Talking about something she’s inquired about or wants to learn about is dynamite when done carefully. It plainly demonstrates how much better off she’d be if she dated you. “Gee, he’s the sort of man I’d enjoy go out with, learn how to scuba dive,” you want her to say after a talk. “Wow! is he brilliant,” as opposed to “Wow!”
ADVICE IN GENERAL
The most deadly adversary you have is inside you, men. Your insecurity; your overconfident, aggressive demeanor; or your lack of aggressiveness.
Even with experience, they are difficult to overcome, therefore the best overall technique is to be unexpected, alternating between being pleasant and being disinterested.
It keeps her off balance and allows you to retain a clear head about the relationship.
You’ll be wrapped around her finger in a few of days if you don’t have the appropriate perspective.
This is something I must emphasize once again. When you’re apparent or up front about wanting to go out with a woman of any age, the challenge or thrill of not knowing whether or not you’ll make a move is gone. So, after she’s convinced of your interest, she convinces herself that the conclusion is so clear that she doesn’t need to take a risk and schedule even a simple coffee date. Although it isn’t Rapo, the end effect is the same.
Pay attention to the cues she gives you.
Most of the time, you’ll be aware of what’s going on. But, if it seems like she’s on to you, even if there’s nothing substantial to back it up, she probably is. That is the essence of courting.
Don’t make sexual remarks to her while you’re chatting to her or engaging with her. Don’t brag about how wonderful you are. Let your good manners and decorum shine through. Make no attempt to impress her. That’s what all the other men do. She often decodes the effort as ” “e is looking for me. “I’ve nabbed him.” “
Simultaneously, show her that you have qualities and information that she will benefit from in the near future. When the occasion arises, always mention some of your interests that set you apart from most guys, such as attending plays, going to thoroughbred races, or driving to Beverly Hills for Sunday brunch at an exclusive restaurant.
Again, don’t say or do any of these things to impress her with a capital D. It undermines everything if she even senses you’re trying because it makes her believe she’s already got you.
SWATTING BUTTERFLY BOYS
A butterfly flits from one blossom to the next, sipping nectar. The person who has an affair with one lady and then another is quickly shot down.
Please take your time. Evaluate all of the information that is being presented to you. Do not approach the first, or even the second, lady who smiles. Nod and smile. Keep a mental note of it. Maintain a warm and noncommittal grin. Circulate. Send your messages out. Take note of the signs that women give you.
It’s best to take it easy and gradually.
PHILOSOPHY IN HAWAII
The lady who considers herself to be your second best option is uninterested. She, like us all, aspires to be number one. Nobody enjoys playing second fiddle.
THE IMPORTANCE OF HAVING THE RIGHT ATTITUDE
During courting and subsequently in dating, she must be well aware that if she persists in acting poorly, you would walk away permanently.
It’s impossible to fake your solid dedication to this act of self-respect. It must be real, passionate, and a natural extension of your personality.
Anecdote from the world of office politics on body language When I got to the top level of the business, I was a quick-learning 32. The men up here have been through a lot of battles. They had triumphed in the never-ending battle for power, status, and position that characterizes corporate life.
Intimidate To Dominate was and still is the name of the game. The sole rule was that there were none.
From corporate headquarters, Harvey Brush, Senior Executive Vice President, was sent to Los Angeles to “straighten up that bleeping mess.” I was sitting in my boss’s office on Harvey’s second day, reviewing the issues with our billion-dollar proposal endeavor. Harvey barged in, sat his size 14 wingtip on the edge of Mauris polished ebony desk, grumbled, and then let off an obscenely loud fart as he stooped down to tie his shoe. “Somebody stomped on a frog, har, har, har!” he chuckled, looking directly at Maury.
I was astonished and unable to move. As he waited silently to be addressed, my boss managed a little grin.
Without taking his foot off the ground, “How’s the proposal going, guys? That jerk is exactly what we need!”
Harvey yelled as he shifted his gaze from my employer to me and back again.
I’m not sure what Maury and I managed to say. However, I recall that no one had any doubts about who was in command. And there was no question in my mind that this would be the finest proposal I had ever written.
ONE LAST WARNING
Some women are outspoken about their come-ons. There’s no misunderstanding what’s going on here. If she seems comfortable and smooth, be wary. Even if it seems that she is really encouraging you to make your move, it might just be bait to get her to reject your offer and win the Rapo game she’s playing.
Persuasion becomes difficult when you’re discussing an inappropriate topic. The following chapter, What To Talk About, keeps you on track.
What Should You Discuss ?
The goal of early courting dialogues is to express, both verbally and nonverbally, that this is who I am. I hope you like my company. Tell me about yourself so I can see whether Hike is right for you.
A MAN’S PERSPECTIVE ON DYNAMICS
Backgammon’s initial movements are so important that the game’s fate is frequently determined in less than 30 seconds. In this game, it’s the same. Moments transform into minutes when you do and say the correct things in the crucial opening moments. The longer you maintain touch with her, the simpler it will be for her to perceive that you are secure, then fascinating. She will find you appealing only after that.
While the talk proceeds, she discreetly checks you out physically after she’s determined you’re not a danger. Two things happen in the following few minutes if you measure up and don’t breach any of the Eleven Commandments of Meeting.
First, she determines whether or not you are a playboy. If you don’t do or say anything to lead her to believe you’re one, the next thing she’ll ponder is what you’d be like if you could convince her.
You must unveil yourself in order for her to make a decision. Talk about your likes and dislikes while giving her lots of opportunities to do the same.
STANDARD DISCUSSION
A casual talk during a wedding reception is a traditional courting discussion. The first thing to discuss is how you and she know the newlyweds. You’re the one who goes first and tells her. “Hi. “My name is Don, and I’m a member of Sally’s volleyball team.” “
Help her get through the uncomfortable initial few seconds if she doesn’t reciprocate. Give her something she can readily manage, regardless of how nervous she is. “Do you remember Sally from college?” anything like that.
You should always answer with information about yourself, regardless of what she says.
“Oh, yes? I’ve known Sally for three years, having met her when I joined the team at Hawaiian Antiques alongside Roger, my supervisor. Are you a volleyball player?”
The trick is to tell her about yourself so she can tell you about herself, and then you’ll have something to chat about.
“Nice reception, terrific band,” you can always remark.
“We’re enjoying some nice weather,” or “We’re having some nice weather.” It’s safe, but it’s not helpful. When your brain freezes, as it will from time to time, these statements come in handy.
“However, you must thaw it fast and return to presenting yourself.” “
Have you seen Danny Bonaduce’s new talk show? It’s the same as the others, but I’m always wondering when the rest of the Partridge Family will appear. Weird!”
“Did you like the Partridge Family?” for example.
Alternatively, “Sally and Allan are regular attendees to my Raider Party. She dislikes football but enjoys partying. Do you like professional football?”
“You know Sally from college?” Always unveil yourself first, then offer her the option to do the same. “Are you a volleyball player?”
No one is terrified of being rejected if you just convey your interest nonverbally so she may answer nonverbally. While keeping your eyes open for her signals, send her a few discreet signs of interest.
ONLY SAFE SUBJECTS
Your feelings on death punishment have nothing to do with courtship’s emotional and physical appeal. Discuss movies, television programs, music, colleges, skiing, backpacking, vehicles, sports teams, beach weather, and places you’ve recently been or are planning to visit.
TOPICS THAT ARE PROHIBITED
Never bring up the subject of religion. Avoid topics that elicit strong emotions, such as abortion, civil rights, welfare, sex, politics, and so on.
During the early stages of a discussion, sex is strictly forbidden. In no way, shape, or form, bring up the matter. Don’t retaliate in kind when she makes sexual innuendos or offensive remarks.
Change the topic without making her feel like she’s made a mistake. Even if she says “fuck” every few phrases, don’t curse. Some women use this as a litmus test to discover whether you’re more interested in her as a sex toy or as a person. Pass the examination.
PROFANITY AND MEN’S VIEW OF WOMEN
Most guys are confused by a woman who swears often or thinks she’s an easy lay. Reserve vulgarity for times when you need to be assertive as a woman. Save vulgarities only when you need his entire attention to make a point.
MEN MUST ALWAYS SAY WHAT THEY WANT TO HEAR.
Compliment her once, and only once, throughout each discussion. Because most women are capable of identifying non-controversial issues, your complement must be genuine. Give her a lot of chances to reciprocate. That is the focus of this phase.
In the second and third conversations, reveal more of yourself. What type of music, automobiles, clothing, cuisine, restaurants, and other items do you enjoy? Reveal something you like doing that is totally different later, or even now, if the timing is perfect.
If you don’t come off as attempting to impress her, talking about locations you’ve been or are going is usually a smart idea. Travel is a nice, safe, and beneficial subject if you can talk about it without attempting to impress her.
You start by seeing whether she’s geographically appealing, like you usually do. Incorporate where you live and where you work in a subtle manner. You’re handing the ball on to her. If she provides you this information, it’s strong proof she’s attracted to you, even if she says it casually.
Don’t make a big deal out of it. It’s not critical right now, so don’t waste your time. If she responds in kind, that’s fantastic. Wait a few words or pages if this isn’t the case. Don’t put too much strain on yourself. “Is it a lengthy commute from where you live?” when she explains where she goes to school, work, or play may be done gracefully and subtly.
If it doesn’t work, wait a few minutes and then ask, “So, which town do you reside in?” but only when the timing is appropriate. “Where do you live?” is a blunt question that makes her stutter and makes her feel pressured. “You from around here?” is a bush league maneuver that shows great interest too quickly.
Continue to speak. Continue to expose yourself. Pay attention to whatever she says that allows you to encourage further contact for any purpose.
GETTING IT READY FOR HER
As mentioned above, part of the setup is revealing that you’re single and available. Other scenarios involve imagining a method she might help you in some manner. Like
you’re inquiring whether she knows of anybody who has a VW Thing for sale, or if she notices one for sale and will inform you about it. It’ll take everything to get her to remember you even when you aren’t there.
What are you capable of that a woman is not? Can I connect vehicle stereos and home stereos, video cassette recorders, and other unknown electrical gadgets to my computer? Are you able to prepare income tax returns? Think. Make a list of everything you can do to prepare for your meeting with her.
FUTURE CONVERSATIONS AND ABOVE AND BEYOND
Continue to disclose yourself, particularly in regards to activities that you like doing that she has probably never attempted. Otherwise, all you have to do is chat about things that she is interested in.
Make time today to sit down and create an oblique, fascinating one-page autobiography before you meet with her. Make a mental note of it. She’ll inquire about you and your background, most likely after two or three conversations with you. On the first genuine date, she’ll want to know everything about you, almost like she’s looking for a pedigree. Don’t exaggerate your achievements.
Don’t be afraid to share what you’ve accomplished and are proud of.
Prepare to address your divorce honestly and openly, without showing any signs of grief or regret in your eyes, tone of voice, or expression on your face. If you are unable to do so, you are not ready for her, regardless of how prepared you are in all other areas.
Don’t be scared to admit when you’ve made a mistake. It elevates you to the status of a human being. You don’t want to come out as a loser or a basket case, so don’t linger on it.
You have now demonstrated to her that you are potentially worthy, both verbally and nonverbally, by passing her exams and demonstrating your potential.
My recommendation to avoid asking for a date and instead propose one will be explored in more detail in Dating, the next chapter and the next phase in this romance.
