Should She Inform Her Lover That He Has a Sexually Transmitted Disease?
Which etiquette rules should you follow when informing someone that they have given you a sexually transmitted disease (STD)? I’ve been seeing this man for six weeks now, and I’ve just had a burning feeling in my chest and stomach. I went to my doctor, who determined that I had chlamydia.
Obviously, I will not be sleeping with this individual again. He informed me that he was not in a relationship with anybody else. Now that I’ve discovered he was lying, I’m leaning toward ending my relationship with him. Should I inform him about the STD or should I just call it quits?
Trevor:
Are you certain that he lied? It’s possible that it will rely on his definition of “dating.” Perhaps he is having sexual relations with someone he is not dating. Alternatively, it’s possible that he already had the STD when you met. Whatever you do, you should explain to him why you’re leaving him. For starters, he may be completely unaware that he has the condition. Many people who have chlamydia have no symptoms at all. You’ll be doing him a favor if you do this.
Mia: Steve has my support. My assumption is that this gentleman is completely unaware that he has chlamydia, and he would appreciate you informing him of this fact. And if you like him and he isn’t lying, don’t let this cause you to end your relationship with him. Simply get him tested and then move on. You shouldn’t be ashamed either. Having sexual relations may result in the transmission of sexually transmitted diseases. Just be thankful that you were diagnosed with something readily treated.
Q: I’ve been in a relationship with a man for nine months. We’re both in our twenties and have a fantastic sex life, but it often seems like that’s all we have to offer one other. He never speaks to me, and the things that he is interested in make me feel uninterested. We don’t eat the same foods or watch the same movies as each other. We spend practically every hour of every day (and night!) together, and we’ve spoken about moving in together to save money. But, if we don’t have a future together, I’m not sure that makes much sense. How can you maintain a long-term relationship or marriage when the only thing that works is sex? Do you believe it is possible?
Mia: Having an amazing sex life and having an amazing relationship are two completely different things. It’s not enough to just have sex. If you want to be married, you should like spending time together and be willing to share your lives for the next 50 years. Also, don’t live together only to save money on rent! That is the very worst excuse to relocate.
Trevor: Every marriage is unique in its own way. It’s possible that sex is the only thing that keeps a marriage together for long. However, it is not something I would encourage. What I do encourage is that you do your research before making a decision. The likelihood that you may meet someone with whom you have many commonalities, love conversing with, and have wonderful sex is really high. If you want everything, it’s not unreasonable to expect it all.
I Slept with My Fiancée's BF.
It’s true that the title is a little deceptive. (Yes, he did have a sexual encounter with his best buddy, but no, he was not dating his fiancée at the time of the encounter.
According to a reader,
It was in college that I met my future wife.” For the first two years that I knew her, we were wonderful friends, but she was also in a relationship at the time. Despite the fact that she was aware of my interest, she was head over heels in love with another man at the time. What’s more, she paired me up with her closest buddy for a night of entertainment (this was nearly 4 years ago now). Afterward, we drank and had sex together.
So, to make a long tale short, she (my fiancée) ended up breaking up with her boyfriend, which led to us being engaged. As a result, even though we routinely hang out with her best friend and her current partner, the fact that we were together that night four years ago with her best friend has always generated friction with her.
According to the most recent information, the best friend is the only probable maid of honor, but she does not want for a lady who has slept with me to be there on the wedding day (or even in the bridal party!).” Her admission that she was the one who set us up that night in the first place is unsurprising, but she is now talking about eloping as a result of what happened that night. As much as I’d want for her to have a modest, traditional wedding, I’d hate for it to be ruined because of this. I’m not sure how I’m going to handle this.
No one can argue with us on this point. Strangely enough, it is the case. Really, you did manage to thread a needle–sleeping with her closest friend while being as morally immaculate as a lamb during the whole encounter. Sir, you’ve done an excellent job here.
It is theoretically feasible that there is a sophisticated, long-term solution to your problem that addresses the source of the issue. You’ll need to do some clearing of the air to strengthen the women’s relationship, cut through all of the tension, and prepare the way for the wedding of your fiancée’s dreams to take place.
Clearly, this is not the answer.
The alternative is a compromise that is deceptively straightforward: maintain your wedding, but do away with the bridal party.
Everything has been completed and completed successfully. Nothing but a bride and groom in attendance, no attendants to serve as maid of honor, best man, or groomsmen, and no anxiousness that will contaminate the whole event.
Are these the best possible options for you? Nope. Nevertheless, on a continuum, it is more in line with your fiancée’s initial wedding idea than if, for example, you decided to elope and abandon the whole affair.
Historically, this has happened before. It’s been done by a slew of individuals (usually, admittedly, not for this exact reason.) You may just inform everyone that you want a “simple ceremony,” but that you would still like your family and friends to be there. So you may have a conventional wedding without worrying about the stain left by your “original sin.”
The fact that you and your fiancée have repeatedly stated that you have absolutely NO ATTRACTION to this woman and that there would never, ever, ever be a scenario in which you would repeat that one drunken night should go without saying. Even if you and your fiancée were both single, there would never, ever be a scenario in which you and your fiancée would discuss this issue openly. No, it is not the way you think of her! You can’t even recall what happened that night since it was so long ago (and you were so drunk). You now see her as a sister, which is a natural development. Imagining anything else (with this female) makes me feel dirty and uncomfortable, and it is everything from sexy. Though she understands everything, it will be comforting for her to hear you express it.
There’s even another consideration. This girl–and all she represents–will gain even more power as a result of your decision to elope. Your wedding will have been ruined by her. Due to the fact that she will have been the driving force behind every “Big Picture” choice regarding the location and tone of your wedding, she will loom more bigger.
It is possible to avoid this difficulty by eliminating the role of Maid of Honor. (We may safely presume she does not have a sister. That’s another simple repair if she does it herself.
Thank you for your time. Success in your endeavors.
