Is it possible for you to be your true self?
This is something we are all familiar with. The sensation is one that we are all familiar with, don’t we?
It’s the phony grins that have been painted on the faces of everyone. Prestige laughter and giggling are the cause of this phenomenon. People with sickly sweet or macho personalities are the ones to watch. Social media posing and like-whoring are the culprits.
Pouting lips and faked faces of surprise may be shown in photographs. It’s the act of strutting about and presenting a version of your life that isn’t quite accurate in order to elicit approval or envy from other people. No doubt you can come up with a half-million more instances to support your point of view.
Let me say this: none of us is completely blameless in this situation. At some point in our lives, we’ve all been guilty of pretending to be someone we aren’t. Putting on a mask is often the only option we have, whether it’s due to fear, a lack of self-awareness, or a desire to be accepted.
In reality, certain circumstances in life (such as working for a terrible employer) necessitate the adoption of a particular identity. As long as we’re conscious of our actions, it’s OK with us.
A hazard arises when we have worn a mask for an extended period of time and have forgotten what is underneath.
As a result, we lose sight of our true selves. All the time, this situation, which is reminiscent of a horror movie, occurs. Amnesia caused by oneself is a horrible way to go through life. There is a good chance it has occurred to you.
If you’re tired of pretending to be someone you’re not; if you’re tired of allowing others to determine who you “should” be, now is the moment to discover your genuine self and take control of your life and your destiny.
Is there such a thing as a true self?
Your genuine self, which may also be referred to as your authentic self, actual self, or original self, is the most honest component of who you are and what you believe in.
For better or worse, your genuine self is the most honest version of yourself – masks, affectations, and pretenses be damned! It’s when you’re at your most vulnerable, unguarded, and carefree that you’re most like yourself.
Consider the moments you’ve spent with people you’re fully at ease with, or the times you’ve spent absolutely alone with no one else around. These situations have a way of revealing your genuine personality.
Note that I am using the small’s’ for genuine self rather than the massive ‘S’ in this sentence.
A difference has to be made here, and I want to be very explicit about that. When I write about your actual self, I am writing about the most honest representation of your character and personality that I have ever encountered.
The huge Self (big ‘S’), also known as your Soul or Higher Self, is not what I am talking about here.
When it comes to authenticity, there are few things to avoid.
It’s no secret that the popular phrase “be your real self” leaves a lot of people perplexed.
Is it true that you’ve felt the urge to go in quest of your real self or that you’ve tried to BECOME anything other than who or what you now are? In how many instances have you heard someone remark (or, God forbid, teach) that being genuine means expressing one’s thoughts openly and without filter 100 percent of the time?
You should be absolutely unapologetic in whatever you do, or something like that. Also, do you believe there’s a certain formula you must adhere to?
Consider the conventional idea of being your ‘real self,’ i.e., as a confrontational person who relishes the opportunity to use explicit language in front of other people. In other words, a rebel who is weird and eclectic (but still fashionable).
It is also important to note that authenticity is not about criticizing or bashing anything or anybody who looks to be unauthentically false or dishonest – since doing so is an immature response.
Just What Is Authenticity, and How Does It Work?
In order to live authentically, you must accept yourself precisely as you are in the current moment and not strive to become anything else. No need to strive for a more “genuine” version of oneself in this situation! Attempting to be “more” authentic or more real isn’t a worthwhile endeavor. Why? Because seeking for authenticity only leads to greater pain in the long term.
Becoming your authentic self entails being precisely who you are, no matter what that appears like in the real world. Rather, it is about acknowledging and embracing the truth that being imperfect is totally OK. What it comes down to is accepting and celebrating all of the ugliness, strangeness, and ‘defects’ that are inherent in your character.
Rather than striving to be someone else, it is more important to work with your own abilities and make peace with your own shortcomings.
The truth is that being real on the outside is difficult to do 100 percent of the time. Consider how much your employer would love it if you showed up to work wearing pajamas with crust in your eyes. Consider your mother in law, for instance.
Think it’s a good idea for you to inform her that she has the voice of a dying crow and to ask her to kindly leave you alone? That isn’t the case. A line must be drawn somewhere, and we must draw it now.
There are two sides to every coin: light and dark, pleasant and unpleasant, work and pleasure, think and feel, truth and falsehoods. Occasionally, we are required to wear a mask in certain conditions. We don’t have to get lost in the process, but we shouldn’t. Even while we are putting on a show, we may maintain contact with our actual inner selves.
Methods for Being Your Authentic Self
The process of discovering, accepting, and owning your actual self does not include becoming anything else. Looking at yourself in the current moment and appreciating all of your beauty and awkwardness, both good and bad, is what it’s all about, really.
Authenticity cannot be experienced until one has a fundamental embrace of one’s whole being — the two are inextricably bound together.
Is it feasible to maintain contact with your genuine self while performing a role?
Isn’t that right?
It’s possible to play an unconscious part, but only if you are aware of it. Consider the following scenario: your employment demands you to interact with the general public and is reliant on your success. With intentional effort, you may maintain contact with your genuine emotions and needs while putting on a pleasant, outgoing and appealing façade.
The only time you are being untrue to yourself is when you lose touch with your actual emotions, values, and needs and allow others to dictate what you should do.
Neither black nor white applies in this situation. On the exterior, it is impossible to be 100 percent real all of the time. Wishing you the best of success in your social endeavors!
They do not comprehend the essence of life when they demand that you must constantly act in a specific manner (in this example, “authentically”). Life is always changing and evolving. The way you behave in one scenario may not necessarily be useful to you in other ones.
In spite of the external circumstances, you may make an effort to maintain contact with your inner truth about who you are. Here are a few ideas for ways you may want to consider.
Acquire self-awareness, that is, learn about yourself: who you are, what you like and hate, what you value, how you feel, and what comes most naturally to you.
Acknowledge and accept yourself for who you really are — with all of your ugly, odd, “shameful,” and unpleasant aspects included
It is not acceptable to act in a false or impersonating manner without first being conscious of what you are doing.
Accept your flaws and stop attempting to be anybody or anything other than who you really are.
Allowing your emotions and feelings to surface and accepting your vulnerability can assist you in feeling more comfortable in your own skin.
Understand and accept (but do not act on) your inauthenticity, and recognize that it is a natural aspect of being human, but make an effort to be mindful of it as much as possible.
Find out how you may still be connected to your parents in different ways. Being able to build a strong and distinct sense of self is a precondition for being genuine.
Make a conscious effort not to rely on others for your sense of value or affirmation — this is easier said than done! Remember that you will never be “good enough” for everyone, so stop wasting your time and energy trying to be someone else’s idea of perfect.
Remember to walk away from circumstances when you are required to be someone else, even if it means being your actual self in every scenario (for example, around your employer).
If your livelihood is at jeopardy, wearing a mask intentionally is one thing; wearing one simply out of social habit or tradition is quite another thing entirely.”
You shouldn’t waste your time and energy on phony and false connections or partnerships that don’t encourage you to be your authentic self.
Keep a diary that will help you become more self-aware and knowledgeable of your own ideas, emotions, dreams, and morals as you go through your life.
Be clear and straightforward in your communication, to the extent feasible.
Be vulnerable with yourself — acknowledge when you’re feeling terrified, lonely, unattractive, or humiliated; this will prepare you to be vulnerable with other people.
However, most people are aware when someone is being artificial, cheesy, or fake-looking. They can also detect when someone is being arrogant or dishonest.
As long as you remain true to yourself, you will serve as an inspiration for others to do the same. Moreover, you’ll make other people feel more comfortable around you, which is secondary to your personal experience of feeling more free and comfortable with just being yourself!
Finally, you’ll be able to build much deeper connections with others and have much more meaningful relationships as a result of your increased ability to connect profoundly.
In any case, I hope these recommendations are of assistance. Maintaining your genuine self is a discipline that takes place in the present moment.
It is not about seeking a future version of oneself that is idealized in any way. You must be aware of who you are and how your body feels in the present moment, and you must embrace it all.
How to be yourself in a relationship
Authenticity surfaced as a prevalent method for reducing loneliness when investigating strategies to feel more connected in a world where 45 percent of individuals report feeling lonely.
Loneliness and uncertainty are bound to follow when there’s a disconnect between what you’re providing to people and how you’re truly experiencing life. Why? You can’t be confident people will choose you if you don’t show them the real you.
But what does it mean to be honest in a world when so many people are faking it? And how can you put this to good use in order to be yourself?
“In a relationship, authenticity is showing your good and bad sides, rather than a controlled image of yourself,” says Sara Stanizai, a Licensed Marriage and Family Therapist.
“Many individuals revert to old emotional habits that they picked up in order to make others happy. People, on the other hand, aren’t interested in the performance version of you.
We should share the good, the terrible, and the ugly to be fully honest. This is a chance to connect more deeply.
When you’re genuine, you demonstrate that you care about yourself and think that who you are is sufficient. Here are six ways to get to a point where you can be the same person in all aspects of your life.
1. Get to know yourself
Knowing who you are and being in touch with yourself in the present is the first step toward being real. Self-reflection is the first step in living an honest life.
“Integrity begins in the belly.” Can you put your faith in yourself? “Every now and again, we all need outside help and assistance, but spend some time alone considering what would be best for you, your energy, your time, and your hobbies,” says Bridget Chambers, a Chicago-based life coach and writer.
Take the time to figure out what you want and need since “you can’t do right by others if you can’t do right by yourself,” as the saying goes.
2. Be gentle Authenticity does not imply expressing yourself in a harsh or judgmental manner.
RB Kelly, a qualified body language trainer, argues, “Authenticity is a hard topic.” “Some individuals use it as a justification to treat others poorly.”
“If you feel your real self enjoys belittling others who disagree with you and throwing things at them until they give up the battle, then you’re listening to your worst self, not your authentic self.”
Instead, try to share your innermost truth in a manner that keeps your main purpose in mind: connecting with others.
3. Re-evaluate your situation.
It’s always a work in progress when your objective is to be real in all aspects of your life. Kelly advises that you check in with yourself during and after social engagements.
“Ask yourself how much you’re editing when you’re with someone and you’re thinking how to be true with them.” “Ask yourself what’s going on in your thoughts that you’re not saying,” she advises.
Take stock of how you feel at the end of the day and if you were completely yourself. Inquire about the disparity and how you can come up genuinely the following day if there is one. This method may also be used to assess personal and professional relationships:
“The answer you discover when you search within will tell you whether you should remain or flee,” Kelly explains.
4. Master the art of surrendering.
Desire and attachment are regarded the source of suffering in the Buddhist faith. Non-attachment is emphasized in Buddhist teachings, and it isn’t restricted to worldly things.
According to Eleni Kapetanios, a life coach and NLP practitioner, letting go of attachment to the result will have a significant impact on your well-being when it comes to being genuine.
“People are frequently so afraid of what would happen if they exhibit their true, honest self to others that they conceal it and pretend to be someone they are not,” Kapetanios explains.
“You have no influence over what other people think of you.” All you have to do is put yourself out there and trust that the appropriate people and circumstances will find their way into your life.”
Allow yourself to relax and do what comes naturally to you. Say exactly what you’re thinking. It’s important to remember that people who matter don’t mind, and those who mind don’t matter.
5. Even at work, bring your complete self.
Work is one of the most difficult places to be real since we are often employed based on our professionalism, and we are constantly assaulted with written and unwritten guidelines on how to fit into the ‘work culture.’
Deloitte discovered that 61 percent of respondents suppress one piece of their identity at work in an intriguing research. Among ethnic, sexual, and gender minorities, the percentages are significantly higher.
Authenticity, on the other hand, is important in the job. Boundaries and privacy are also important. When you’re at ease with yourself, you can be yourself everywhere – even at the most crucial times of your career.
Share your hobbies and passions with your coworkers. Be open and honest about your faults. When you are genuine, your coworkers know they can rely on you. You inspire everyone around you to be yourself by being yourself.
6. Have faith in oneself
When you live your life truly, you attract others who do the same. These connections help you grow as a person and drive you to be the greatest version of yourself.
“The Hebrew term for marriage means ‘fire,’ since partnerships are intended to be a source of tension and heat,” Kelly adds. Kelly continues, “It will test and refine you until all the worst pieces of you have been burnt away.”
This metaphor may be used to describe any interaction between individuals who are living real lives and who make you feel good about yourself and the world you’ve created.
They assist you in reaching your full potential. When your activities are in real sync with who you are, your business, health, and intimacy all grow richer and livelier.
