Is It Ever Possible to Recover after the Loss of a Loved One?
After losing a loved one, you’ve undoubtedly already recognized that there are a slew of emotions and sentiments that accompany the death of a loved one, whether it was unexpected or anticipated.
It’s vital to remember that your emotions are genuine, and that you are not on anybody else’s schedule when it comes to healing, no matter where you are in your mourning process.
learn more about how individuals may work through their sorrow while still recognizing their loss.
This article discusses how individuals deal with loss in the short- and long-term aftermaths of their experiences. It also addresses ways to cope with bad memories or emotions of guilt that may arise.
Managing Your Emotions in the Immediate Aftermath of a Death
Dr. Anderson argues that, in today’s society, there is frequently a great deal of pressure to go on and recover as fast as possible following a tragedy. As a result, he is firm in his belief that the objective should not be simply to move on and get over someone.
Keep in Mind to Display Yourself In order to heal from your loss with compassion, you must allow yourself to be patient and gracious while you go through the grieving process at your own speed.
Is It Ever Possible to Recover after the Loss of a Loved One?
When I deal with someone who has experienced a loss, my objective is to assist them in holding on to what they need or want to hang on to while letting go of what no longer serves them or needs to be carried.
Allow Yourself to Feel a Variety of Feelings
Instead of concentrating on discrete stages of mourning and attempting to speed through them, research shows1 that adhering to these preconceived notions of what the stages will look like may be damaging, particularly for those who haven’t had that experience.
The aim, according to Dr. Anderson, should be to settle into a pleasant mental state rather than stressing about where you believe you’re meant to be.
Anderson explains a very frequent experience of someone grieving a loss: they get an outpouring of love and support in the early aftermath of the death, but then feel alone as everyone else returns to normal.
It’s important to remember that healing takes time.
While it’s easy to feel compelled to move on, it’s also OK to mourn. Dr. Anderson emphasizes that processing all of the emotions that come with a loss takes time, and individuals should feel free to take as much time as they need.
He says he often has to tell clients that their pain has only been with them for a short time when they express a desire to be free of it. “When coping with sorrow and loss, the passage of time is critical,” he explains.
‘All Wounds Heal With Time:’ Is This Sufficiently True?
How to Cope After a Long Period of Time Has Passed
Dr. Anderson describes some of the methods in which he assists clients in healing when a loss has occurred.
Rejoice in Memories
Anderson advises individuals to welcome memories or dreams that keep coming back to them, even if they haven’t happened in a long time.
“I find that individuals who are continually thinking about the person or replaying memories or circumstances relating to their loved one have portions of themselves that are attempting to keep the memories alive,” Anderson explains.
He implies that the mind is attempting to keep that person’s memory alive and healthy. While it may seem that you are unable to move on, it is possible that your mind is attempting to cling on to happy memories.
Anderson goes on to say that if your mind is continuously rehearsing something, it might be an essential memory that will offer you calm as you recover.
Don’t Ignore Your Emotions
Dr. Anderson adds that he encourages his patients to concentrate on their current feelings, which may frequently lead to recovery. When individuals succeed at this, they frequently feel more validated because they have given serious thought to their feelings.
Trying to Make Sense of the Loss
Many individuals, according to research, reach a point of recovery once they believe they have gained meaning and context from their loss. This is particularly true when individuals are able to embrace many emotions at the same time, such as melancholy while yet holding on to the relationship’s importance. This may assist individuals in reaching a point where they can better control their emotions.
It’s Important to Remember That Negative Memories Are Normal.
It might be extremely difficult to deal with the death of a loved one if you haven’t made peace with them over a personal issue. People often review all they could have done to offer greater mental, emotional, or physical assistance to their loved ones.
While these things are common, it’s acceptable if they complicate recovery.
According to Dr. Anderson, “negative recollections or emotions of guilt are also a typical component of the mourning process.” “I assist customers in tracing the causes of their emotions.”
Dr. Anderson says he works to “validate these parts of my client, letting them know I understand why they would feel this way and gently helping them come to terms with the vulnerability and true lack of control any of us has over the inevitability of loss in our lives,” especially when clients are constantly rehashing things they wish they had done.
Is It Ever Possible to Get Over the Loss of a Loved One?
While it is common to talk of finding purpose after a loss, it may be difficult to define precisely what that entails.
To determine this out, researchers tracked three persons who had lost loved ones and checked in with them soon after, one year later, 13 months later, and 18 months later.
For their research, they defined meaning as the capacity to make sense of an event and get some advantage from it. During the first year, making meaning of the loss was crucial, and it even helped to reduce stress. Benefit-finding, on the other hand, was more relevant in evaluating a person’s capacity to change in the long run.
This lends credence to the notion2 that the capacity to draw meaning while experiencing grief and other emotions is crucial to reaching a point of recovery.
Every person’s definition of moving on will be different. It indicates you’ve gotten to a point where you’re not thinking about them every minute of every day, or that you’ve gotten to a point where you’re comforted by seeing reminders of the loved one.
It’s Important to Know What Kind of Loss You’ve Had
The capacity to recover may also be influenced by whether the loss was expected or unexpected. According to research4, abrupt losses may cause PTSD in close family members, therefore group treatment may be beneficial. Families that have had to care for a loved one who has had a long-term illness are more likely to feel helpless,5 according to research.
mostly due to their desire to assist in the care of a loved one while they were still alive.
It’s critical to put your mental health first, no matter where you are in your recovery. Healing is never a smooth process, and it may be unpleasant at times. Avoid making comparisons between your recovery path and other people’s coping tactics.
Allow yourself to recover at your own speed. And you should never feel bad about seeking assistance from mental health experts or your friends and family.
