How to Stop Playing Relationship Mind Games
Get the skills to quit playing mind games and start relaxing into your relationships – it will completely transform your life! The following steps will teach you how to let go of your hold and be real, cheerful, and peaceful with the people in your life.
In my last article, 5 Examples of the Mind Games People Play in Relationships, I realized that I had failed to provide any advice on how to really avoid getting into those controlling, manipulative patterns of behavior in the first place. I also didn’t admit that I knew how to cease playing mind games since I used to do so on a regular basis when I was younger. I sought to manage and control my sister, my friends, and my spouse via emotional manipulation and control. That was, however, a very long time ago! In my old age (I’m 46), I’ve gained a great lot of knowledge and maturity, and I’ve learnt how to quit playing games in my relationships…
Here are five of the most typical indications of mind games:
- Your companion grew up in a challenging or disturbed environment.
- You’re feeling befuddled and nervous about your relationship with your lover.
- Your spouse attempts to elicit particular reactions from you by manipulating your emotions.
- Your spouse threatens you either publicly or secretly.
- Your spouse engages in mind games with other individuals.
There are many additional symptoms and instances of game playing in relationships, but I was responding to a reader’s remark, and those were the ones that first came to me while I was writing this. In response to my reader Shanna’s question about her boyfriend’s conduct, I responded by saying that it was both emotionally abusive and “simply” playing mind games – and the truth is both. She could see right through his attempts to manipulate and dominate her!
Knowing that mind games are being played, on the other hand, is one thing. Learning how to put a halt to them is a very other tangle to disentangle.
In Your Relationship, How to Stop Playing Games with Your Mind
The use of mind games may be very harmful and abusive, particularly if you’re in a relationship with someone you care about and don’t want to lose. Isn’t it true of the majority of our interpersonal relationships? Yup.
Learn to see the indications of control and manipulation as soon as they appear.
It is essential to understand the indicators of controlling behavior as a first step in putting an end to the games of the mind.
You’re here because you’ve had some experience with or interest in game playing in relationships, if that’s the case. While you may believe he’s attempting to exert influence over you, and you may have read instances of mind games individuals engage in, keep in mind how cunning and clever a manipulator can be.
Part of his strategy is to make you believe you are not being controlled in your relationship, which is part of his game. As a result, many guys who play mind games are referred to as “charming,” which refers to their ability to be seductive. However, because I’m a woman writing for a female audience, we’ll remain with the word “he.” (Of course, women are also skilled at mind tricks.)
Refuse to relinquish control of your life.
You may not believe it, but you do have power in your relationship.
You have the ability to shift the course of an engagement or discussion. How? By keeping in mind that you have complete control over your reaction to his tactics.
It is impossible to prevent your spouse from engaging in mind games throughout your relationship, but you can control how you react to them. For example, Shanna’s boyfriend approached her and begged for a financial loan.
When she declined to borrow money from her line of credit for him, he said she wasn’t a suitable life partner and questioned her dedication to him. He sulked and gave her the quiet treatment. Instead of attempting to calm or coax him into a better mood, she should just ignore his sulky demeanor. Don’t fall prey to the psychological tricks. The best way to stop them is as easy as turning off the computer.
Prepare for how you will answer in advance.
You are familiar with your companion. He’s familiar with your name. He understands how to manipulate your emotions. If you are aware of his modus operandi (way of operation), you will be one step closer to preventing him from playing you.
For example, if you know he’ll give you the quiet treatment on the drive home from a party, plan to keep yourself occupied so that his silence won’t be an issue. If you know he’ll turn to his regular threats and manipulations, find methods to bypass them and let them swoosh past. Make use of what you know about him — and about yourself – to stop feeding his games.
Concentrate on your own needs.
Here’s a reader’s account of how she was able to quit playing mind games in her relationship:
“My partner of over 7 years and I broke up around 4 months ago because his family made our relationship troubles worse,” Amanda writes in How to End a Relationship When You’re Scared to Be Alone.
“In fact, they were one of our most serious difficulties! He moved them in and kicked me out. It’s distressing to even think about it. I am really upset with his family… My partner pays for everything, and they remain at home to cook and watch television. He’s a spouse to everyone, it seems… “With the exception of myself.”
She continues by saying that she had become weary of her partner shouting at her because he refused to recognize that he was an enabler when it came to his family. “Selfish! “It’s disgusting,” she adds. “They were jealous of my life with my partner, so they moved in with me…which resulted in our breakup.” My partner – who is now my ex-boyfriend – is 41 years old, and I never imagined I’d be dealing with this in my 30s.”
Then Amanda shares some excellent advise on how to quit playing mind games in a relationship:
“Take some time to work things out for yourself. What are you looking for? So, what exactly do you require? Is it possible for you to get all of your requirements met? Concentrate only on you. Talk gently to your partner about what’s going on and how you’re on the point of breaking up with him. Be forthright and forthright in your responses. He should be aware of your actual sentiments. Wait and see what happens… Allow him to walk up to the bat.”
Take a deep breath and square your shoulders.
The way you react to his efforts to manipulate and control you is dependent on a variety of things, which is why it’s impossible to come up with the ideal list of recommendations on how to quit playing mind games in a relationship.
There are so many variables to consider: your personality, temperament, living circumstances, lifestyle, relationship, and support system.
Another aspect that might have a huge impact on the way you approach your relationship is your religious beliefs. Keep in mind that you were created by God for a particular reason. He loves you and desires for you to be in a healthy, joyful, and peaceful relationship that is fueled by His presence. Wouldn’t that be fantastic?
If you want results – if you really want to quit playing mind games in your relationship – you must put in the effort. This entails experimenting with various concepts. It also needs discipline and persistence. Don’t give up! If you want to have a good relationship, you must first focus on yourself. You can’t stop the mental games he plays, but you can modify how you react to them.
If you’re the controlling girlfriend in your relationship, you should read How to Stop Being a Controlling Girlfriend.
What to Do Next
It’s possible that you know something is amiss in your relationship with a charmer who engages in mind games, but you are unable to put your finger on what it is. This book will assist you in learning the manipulator’s game so that they are unable to compete with you, as well as teach you 30 strategies manipulators use to get what they want.
Keep in mind that spotting covert emotional manipulation might be difficult, but a great book like this can assist you in empowering yourself and taking charge of the things you can alter.
If you are in an abusive relationship, get assistance. I’ve published numerous articles regarding emotional and verbal abuse — including how to get out of an abusive relationship. In the case of a guy who has gone beyond the “mild” mind tricks I stated above, you should contact an in-person help line.
Unfortunately, there are no easy measures to take in order to avoid playing mind games in relationships, particularly when abuse is involved.
It’s important to remember that mind games are a type of emotional and mental abuse. There is a vast range of different sorts of abuse, and mind games may be just as emotionally and physically harmful as physical abuse. In other respects, it’s even more so.
