How To Stop Feeling Attracted To Someone When You Are In A Relationship
Generally speaking, cheating is considered a violation of trust by the vast majority of individuals. In the end, it is a selfish choice that includes sacrificing the integrity of a partnership on the altar of unrelated needs. That 46 percent of relationships fail as a result of an affair is hardly a surprise nowadays.
However, in most cases, cheating does not arise out of nowhere; rather, it is the conclusion of a long-standing love interest in a third person. When you begin to get connected or drawn to someone other than your spouse, to the point that you begin to develop romantic emotions for that person, the likelihood that you will have an affair with that person increases significantly.
There is absolutely nothing wrong with you if you want to learn how to discontinue liking someone while you are in a relationship.
First and foremost, don’t be disheartened if you have emotions for someone other than your spouse; there is nothing wrong with you. According to a recent survey, one in every five persons in romantic partnerships has affections for a third party. Of course, although it is fair to feel drawn to other individuals, it is very another when you choose to act on that desire.
More than anything, the choice to stay true to your spouse must be honest and unequivocal, and you must be certain of the reasons for why you want to end your affections for someone else. Although it is conceivable that your spouse was involved in inducing these sentiments in you, either by being inattentive to your needs or by experiencing a health difficulty, only you can decide what course of action to follow as a consequence of how you are feeling. Furthermore, it is easy to cheat on your spouse even while you are content in your relationship.
Acknowledge Your Emotions
When attempting to resolve an issue, the first step is to accept that a problem exists. When you’re trying to get over someone, the greatest approach to start is to face your emotions instead of pretending you don’t have any. When you are able to identify your sentiments, it indicates that you no longer desire to be bound by them and that you are no longer frightened to confront them.
This is what occurs when you choose to fight rather than flee when it comes to controlling your emotions.
Suppressed emotions have a propensity to grow powerful over time, and this may have a debilitating effect on your physical and psychological health. In other words, suppressing emotions does not make the sensation go away; rather, it amplifies your inner emotional experience of the idea or feeling you are attempting to hide. Stress-related sickness, anxiety, and despair are just a few of the negative consequences of suppressed emotions.
Consider the Consequences
When you are in a committed long-term relationship, your choices are no longer exclusively about what you desire. You would have to consider your partner’s emotions on a regular basis, particularly in circumstances that might compromise the stability of your relationship.
If you and your partner have children together, you may also want to think about how your actions may influence them.
Consider the ramifications of your crush’s emotions for this man or lady, as well as the potential consequences for your relationship if those feelings end in you doing something you would most certainly regret or feel terrible about. If you have no actual intention of ever cheating on your spouse or quitting your relationship, then there is probably no need for you to develop a crush on this person, or lady, in the first place.
Don’t Make Your Partner Look Bad
Your spouse will never be flawless, but comparing them to the other person may amplify your partner’s shortcomings and deficiencies to the point that the concept of cheating on them feels justified. Consider the reasons you fell in love with your spouse, the wonderful moments you’ve had, and how much they mean to you. You may even jot down their most appealing characteristics to serve as a reminder to yourself of how precious they are.
If you believe your spouse has lost any of the physical characteristics that first drew them to you, consider the potential that they may be cheating on you for the same reason and how you would react if this happened. The biggest complement you can offer your spouse is to appreciate them, but when you start evaluating them by unreasonable standards that are affected by your affections for someone else, you may begin to lose sight of your partner’s value.
Maintain a safe distance between yourself and the person.
When you start to like someone, it’s most likely because you’ve spent a significant amount of time with them. Limit your contacts with this individual to the greatest extent feasible; abstain from sending them messages or engaging with them on social media.
If you are unable to summon the emotional and mental strength to ignore them, it may be difficult to reject their sexual attempts. However, just as recovered addicts must learn the resolve to control their cravings, you must create a restrained mindset in order to quit enjoying someone you don’t want to like. This entails figuring out how to get them to quit talking.
It might be tough to stop talking to the person if you are colleagues at work, but with 85 percent of affairs apparently beginning in the office, this is one of the most efficient strategies to quit like this person. It doesn’t matter whether the person is a customer, a friend, an ex-lover, or the new neighbor who just moved in next door; it’s still difficult. Maintaining absolute formality and avoiding personal talks are critical in this situation.
It is not necessary to be aggressive or unpleasant in your approach. Still, create emotional and personal boundaries that clearly state that certain gestures or words from them will no longer be permitted by you.
Spend more quality time with your partner.
When was the last time you went on a date with your significant other? You may plan a surprise romantic supper for them, accompany them to a concert, or agree to watch a sporting event with them if they chance to be sports fans. Find novel methods to spend time alone with your sweetheart and renew your relationship.
According to a new research, investing in your relationship may go a long way toward improving your health, and there are few things that can compare to the satisfaction that comes from being with someone you care about.
The more time you spend in your partner’s company, the less time you will have to daydream about the other person. Allow your spouse to be the first priority in your thoughts. Keep your phone away if it may be a distraction or interfere with your ability to have meaningful talks with your companion during these occasions. Treat these bonding periods as an opportunity to reaffirm your devotion to your partner, and allow their love to serve as a reminder of why you need to keep them.
Put an end to your thoughts about the other person.
This may seem to be a more difficult task than it appears, but the fact remains that it is possible. One of the first ways for doing this is to think about other people—your family, friends, spouse, and children—as well as other things—work, your favorite food, a cherished childhood memory. Replace the uneasy thoughts about this individual with strong ones that provide you with peace of mind. The goal is not to completely forget about the individual, but rather to minimize their prominence in your thoughts.
If you’ve discovered that particular events bring up this person’s ideas, write them down and then figure out how to either avoid or reframe what those scenarios mean to you. These events may take the shape of words, pictures, melodies, gestures, and, in some cases, even a specific location. When you are able to think about these things without the other person coming to mind throughout the process, it becomes more difficult for you to perceive them in the same light as you used to.
Speak With Your Partner
Before you do this, consider how your spouse is likely to react to the information and proceed with care. If you know that your spouse is likely to react aggressively or get resentful, it may be easier to determine whether or not you should stay in the relationship. It may seem counterintuitive to let up of a relationship in order to rescue it, but staying in an unhealthy relationship will only serve to make you think more highly of the other person.
A better method to approach the matter is to ask your spouse in a light-hearted manner whether they have a crush on somebody. This may disclose their point of view on such issues, which may offer insight into how they might respond if they were confronted with your own emotions. Communication is a crucial component of every successful relationship. Having a companion that enables you to express yourself without criticizing you might help you to be more motivated and honest with your emotions. If this is the case in your relationship, being honest with your spouse may allow you to get the mental clarity necessary to stop thinking about someone else.
If you want more assistance in putting an end to your feelings for someone, you may need to talk with a professional therapist or relationship specialist about your difficulties. ReGain is devoted to assisting you in cultivating and maintaining healthy connections that enhance your mental and emotional well-being.
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Make a list
Make a list of everything you like about that person who isn’t good for you and figure out what it is.
In the first place, recognize that your attraction – the pull – is most likely either predominantly physical or mostly emotional in nature. Obviously, if there’s a physical connection, it’s clear what’s attracted them. Depending on whether your attraction is emotional or physical, it may be motivated by one of the following factors: you perceive that person as happier, more likable, better, or otherwise superior to you, and you want to be around them in order to become more like them; you perceive that person as “cooler” or more interesting than you; you perceive that person as unemotional or withholding, and you want to win them over; or you perceive them as depressed, sad, self-destructive, or otherwise inferior to you.
Naturally, there are a plethora of reasons for this, and the ones I’ve listed here are only a few of the more prevalent. In the event that you are someone who believes that you must learn how to quit being attracted to someone, one of the reasons I listed above is most likely applicable to your situation (at least a little bit).
Change your thoughts
If you want to refocus your sentiments and concentrate on reality rather than imagination – or what your heart desires – there are numerous things you may say to yourself. 1. As an example, I will give you some phrases to use when you feel the draw of someone who isn’t good for you in order to detach and resist the person who isn’t right for you.
It’s important to understand that just because I’m attracted to someone doesn’t indicate that my attraction to them is a positive thing. In spite of the fact that they seem to be attractive from the outside, the interior is not. It’s important for me to discover someone who makes me feel less worried or insecure, rather than more of these emotions. “Did I miss something? Am I meant to be pursuing someone?”
ASSESS THE QUALITIES OF YOUR FAVORITE COMPANIONS.
What characteristics do you like in your buddies when you consider them? What kind of treatment do they provide? They make you feel awful and play games with you, or they make you feel bad and play games with you. Because you get along well with them and treat each other with respect, it is likely that your friends will remain your friends.
But, maybe most crucially, you probably feel (emotionally) secure in their company. To understand why you use excellent judgment when picking friends but end up utilizing other criteria when determining who you seek out for dating and relationships is the goal of this article. Consider the characteristics that attract you to individuals in your friendships, and then begin searching for those same characteristics in the people you seek out for romantic relationships with those same characteristics.
DISCUSS YOUR ROMANTIC PENCHANTS IN FORMAL LETTERING.
Writing about something is a powerful tool for effecting change. By putting our ideas on paper, we can better organize them and get to the heart of the issue at hand. Describe how you got to be attracted to someone who isn’t good for you in the first place, and why you feel it happened that way. What kind of role models did your parents set for you.
You may be afflicted with a poor sense of self-worth. When it comes to relationships, do you genuinely put your confidence in your boyfriends and girlfriends, or do you secretly think that love never works out and that you will always end up dissatisfied or even betrayed? When you write down your thoughts and emotions, you will immediately get a greater sense of self-awareness.