How to Stay true to yourself
What we do, how we behave, and who we are are continually dictated by our environment. To be loyal to yourself while yet living the life you desire might be difficult to learn how to do.
Once someone inquires as to our well-being, we presume that the person does not mean the inquiry seriously, since this would lead to an in-depth discussion with the individual. In order to avoid this, it is customary to tell them that you are fine or fine, even if you are not.
Ideally, we would take the time to actually listen to one another. Neither of us would be embarrassed to be ourselves. As a result, when we are asked about our current state of affairs, we tighten our mask, the character we present to the outside world. Sometimes even more so than it would have been before.. After a while, even when you’re alone, it gets difficult to get out of bed.
If we asked someone how they were doing and they gave us the truth, we’d be living in a better world. Consider a world in which we did not communicate with one another via masks, but instead through openness.
You must remove your mask if you want to live in a world that accepts you for who you are, flaws and all. However, this does not imply that you must always be upbeat or happy.
In the words of Svend Brinkman, a Danish psychologist, we want one another to be happy and fine at all times, and we demand the same of ourselves. As the saying goes, everything has a “dark side.” It is possible to benefit from positive psychology, but this should not come at the price of concealing your true feelings in order to seem optimistic to others.
Even though no one can maintain a cheerful attitude all of the time, our society encourages us to do so. Obviously, this is something we must relearn. After all that is said, constantly assuring folks that you are ‘”fine”‘ is really harmful to your health and well-being since it prevents you from being forceful, honest, or your truest self.
Recognizing feelings leads to the identification of the issue that is creating them, and once the problem has been identified, it is possible to find a solution. That sensation is stifled and suppressed, making it impossible for anybody to assist. You’re unable to stop yourself from doing this.
One of the primary functions of feelings is to allow us to experience them. You are under no obligation to act on your emotions. It simply indicates that you have begun the process of issue resolution in order to live the life you want.
1. Accept Your Vulnerability and Use It to Your Advantage
It is easier to self-advocate or speak up for what you need when you are being your authentic selves. Your ability to express yourself is important, and you should be proud of what you have to say! If you want assistance or wish to express yourself, it is OK. It is also acceptable to be unwell.
It does a huge injustice to your tale and your journey to tell someone you are simply “fine” when you are not. Embracing all sides of your being is essential to being genuine to yourself.
When you bring your complete self to the table, there is nothing you can’t overcome or surpass. Listed below are seven advantages of vulnerability that you should be aware of.
What if you don’t want to wear your mask anymore? Any person would find this to be the most difficult task. When we are in a safe environment, we have learnt to hold off on being completely honest..
This is particularly difficult in romantic relationships. A lot of individuals will go to any length to avoid being vulnerable. When it comes to our connection with ourselves, we might glance in the mirror and instantly put on a false front.
All of this begins with your own narrative…. The path that you have taken has been entirely unique. It has brought you to this point, to the person you are now. Unafraidness is essential, as is an openness to the whole adventure.
Aim for success rather than merely survival in your endeavors! As a result, you are under no need to compete or compare yourself to anybody.
It is only through authenticity that you may realize your full potential. For you to achieve your goals, just being yourself is sufficient.
What if, for the first time in your life, you were completely honest about everything? Was it possible for you to say and do exactly what you wanted without apologizing for your choices?
When it came to standing up for what you believed was right for you, you were forceful and forthright in your ideas and actions (rather than passive or confrontational). You were calm in the face of adversities. You were well aware that you have something unique to share with others.
Everyone should be in that position.
In such case, please respond to my question:
Honestly, how are you doing these days.
You should also be aware that you should be welcomed regardless of the response.
It takes courage to recognize and accept the possibility that your truth may still be denied to you.
Having the courage to believe that you are important, even when others do not.
When every evidence points against you, it takes courage to believe in yourself (i.e. past failures or losses)
It takes courage to be vulnerable, and it takes strength to recognize when you are vulnerable.
It’s gaining control of the situation..
2. Choosing Your Attitude in the Face of Difficulties
By being loyal to yourself, you can take charge of your future and live the life you choose. You have the option to begin at any moment. You may get started right now.
You may start by taking things one day at a time and dealing with whatever comes up. When confronted with the possibility of a significant shift, the majority of us feel overwhelmed. Our attitude, even if it is the only thing that changes, is important.
With a shift in perspective, you may transform into a whole new person in an instant. When you gain control of your attitude, you are better equipped to comprehend what is going on around you. This gives you the ability to go onward.
It’s possible that you had a life plan at one point. It may have begun when you were a child, when you dreamed of being a mermaid, a doctor, an astronaut, or perhaps all three when you grew up. You wanted to be someone important. You were wanting to be remembered for something.
You may continue to dream, but sooner or later, reality will set in. Obstacles and challenges develop as a result. When the last road didn’t work out, you decided to choose a new one. When it comes to living the life you desire, you think about all of the “shoulds” in your life. You need to be doing this… ought to be doing that…
Clayton Barbeau, a psychologist, is credited with coining the phrase “shoulding yourself.”
When we have our sights set on one course and find ourselves taking a detour. It becomes all of the things you should be doing rather than recognizing the chances that are there in front of you.
But, in the midst of all this chaos, have you lost sight of who you really are?
It is possible that we lose sight of who we are as a result of our perceived failures and errors, as we strive to retain our place and status.
We must be resilient in order to be who we really are and achieve what we truly desire: How to Develop Resilience in the Face of Adversity
In other words, we may not be able to see all of the possibilities of what can happen, but we must trust ourselves to start again and construct the life we desire. When faced with difficulty, you must decide how you will respond.
Is it possible to endure hardship with a positive outlook? It definitely helps. While attempting to be true to yourself and live the life you choose, you will be forced to confront a reality:
Change is inevitable.
Whether such transformation is positive or negative is dependent on the individual and their point of view.
Maybe you’ll have to start again a couple of times, or perhaps a few times. It may not necessarily imply that everything will be OK, but it does imply that you will be fine. What remains, or should stay, is the authentic version of you. When you lose sight of it, you lose sight of everything else as well.
After that, you begin to rebuild. Moment by moment, day by day. We all have a choice, and that is important right now.
You may choose to have an optimistic attitude, looking for the silver lining in every scenario and, if there isn’t one, recognizing the possibility of finding one. Perhaps the silver lining is you and what you plan to do in response to the circumstance. What will you do with it to make a positive difference?
That is the only way to connect with yourself and your own personal strength. Sometimes it occurs by chance, and sometimes it happens on purpose. The occurrence might take place while we are not even seeking for it, or it can be your only concentration. Everyone arrives at their destination in a unique way.
You have the option to ascend or stay. It is all up to you.
Your honesty will get you through if the worst case scenario occurs. That’s because self-advocacy, or speaking out to let people know what you need, is an important element of discovering your authentic self.
There is absolutely nothing wrong with asking for assistance. Alternatively, sometimes assisting others may assist us in dealing with the anguish of a difficult circumstance. Your finest self emerges as soon as you determine how you’re going to serve others.
3. When no one is looking, do what makes you happy without being judged.
Being the best version of yourself has absolutely nothing to do with your level of achievement or your social position. Your Character, and what you do when no one is seeing, is everything.
In order to live the life you want, you must first become the person you desire to be. Faking it till you make it is just a method of getting through your trip with your hands tied behind your back. You have the desire to set things right, to put the pieces back together, and to live your life truly. And character is the means through which you do this.
If you fall and assist someone else up while you’re down there, it’s as if you’ve risen twice.
Your character, along with your attitude, is determined by the choices you make rather than by what occurs to you.
Yes, it is about doing the right thing even when the odds seem to be against you. It’s about demonstrating to others that the mountain you’ve been dealt can be moved. It’s about being unashamedly yourself, taking control, selecting your attitude in the face of hardship, and being the greatest version of yourself in order to build the life you desire.
What is the best way to determine what you really want? Is it really about social standing or financial success?
It is unfortunate that these items are not always accompanied with pleasure. In addition, some components of our image or “performance oriented lives” may not be satisfying. Materialism is a manifestation of our inability to recognize ourselves as sufficient. All of the strategies we use to keep our actual selves hidden are based on the concept of being enough.
“Enoughness” is what we really want, yet our ego stands in the way of our progress.
The ego is the notion of one’s own external value. It is not a true sense of self-worth.
The ego replaces our genuine self with a new self—the self of seeking after the question, “Am I ever enough?” When we “should ourselves” and strive for “enoughness,” we are really feeding the ego or our image, rather than our genuine selves with self-love and acceptance.
It is critical to recognize that YOU ARE ENOUGH, even when you are not surrounded by worldly possessions.
Meagan O’Reilly, a Stanford psychologist, outlines the harm that may result from believing that we are insufficient. One of her strategies for dealing with this is to finish the phrase.
When I feel I am already sufficient, I .”
What would you do if you believed you were sufficient?
You can live the life you desire if you believe that you are sufficient.
So many people pretend to be someone else in order to achieve where they want to go, and they end up losing their sense of self as they lose more and more contact with their true selves.
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You are being courageous by being yourself. Because you are admitting all you can be, you are telling the universe that you can until you believe it yourself. The processes are simple, and you are well worth the effort. Everything revolves around the mission you are on and the passion that serves as your fuel.
Living truly rather than faking or pushing one’s way through life is the key to being loyal to oneself. Having the life you desire (and deserve) is all about having faith in yourself and the reason for which you are living. Both need a strong sense of purpose behind them, which must be fed every second, or else you may feel burnout.
When you are true to yourself, you may claim the path you are on as your own. The ability to let go of what you don’t need comes when you live your life for yourself and not only for the outcomes of all your efforts (faking it until you make it). This defines and pulls your sense of purpose towards you, since you live for something larger than yourself.
Finding ways to make choices that will truly help you reach your objectives will assist you in living the life you want, and your success with each step will enable you to enjoy the process. Best of luck!
5. Quit comparing yourself to others.
We’ve been socialized to compare ourselves to others our whole lives: our siblings, our friends, and even celebrities, who we see on television. Being different, on the other hand, is a lovely and fantastic thing! As each person has their own individual life path filled with a variety of events that have gotten them to where they are today, controlling your life based on how other people are living theirs is akin to not living at all.
6. Surround yourself with people that appreciate and appreciate you for who you are!
Someone in your life who puts you down, or who makes you feel humiliated or uncomfortable about who you are, has to depart. There are individuals out there that will love and accept you for who you are, no matter what your circumstances are.
7.Prioritize your own needs.
What’s more, know what? Putting your own needs first does not imply that you are being selfish. There is a distinction between caring about what other people want and allowing other people’s desires to influence your own. If you’re feeling too exhausted to go out to supper, don’t go out to dinner. If you don’t have the mental ability to provide counsel to a buddy, see if you can arrange a time to meet with them later on. Begin by giving yourself permission to prioritize your own needs.
8. Make an effort to accept yourself as you are.
Remember that human beings are multifaceted, and we are surely not designed to be faultless in our actions. Your imperfections are just as much a part of who you are as your talents are, so embrace them. To accept that they exist and just view them as another aspect of the unique person that you are, try to accept that they exist. Understanding how to accept your whole self is the same as understanding how to embrace your genuine self!