How To Go On A Date With God
When I (Dr. Townsend) was younger, I used to watch Christian television shows. The interviewer was a world-renowned musician whose career had not been associated with religion, but rather with his extraordinary skill. The presenter expressed his delight that the musician was a Christian and invited him to share his conversion story with the television audience. “Well, I’ve always suspected that there was someone up there,” the musician said.
The host said, “Outstanding!” It’s an outstanding demonstration of Jesus’s salvific power, to say the least.
I wondered whether you were putting what you wanted to hear into those words. I wasn’t challenging the artist’s religious beliefs; that is a matter for him and God to determine. In my mind, I was wondering how the host interpreted what he said. Whatever he said would have been excellent, it seems, since he so desperately wanted the singer to come out as unmistakably Christian.
When it comes to dating, this kind of thinking is also popular. One of the most difficult things about falling in love is hoping against hope that God is a part of his life as well as the life that you share with them. The reality of the issue is sometimes bent by your optimism.
It is true that such an approach has its drawbacks, but it also has its advantages. Wanting the person you desire is a wonderful thing.
How to go on a date with god
God wants those who are close to him to be near to him, as well. It is admirable to want a partnership that is spiritually oriented. In your soul, the most profound and significant aspect is your connection with God, and this relationship lies at the heart of everything else.
If a relationship is about connecting the whole of ourselves to another, then the spiritual side is unfathomably important. Consequently, we all crave for someone with whom we can be one, all the way down to our core selves, which is also where God lives. Our desire to connect was really created by God. When Jesus prayed, he wished for us to be united in the same manner that he and the Father are united (John 17:11).
This is the ultimate goal of one’s search for a romantic partner. In the course of our numerous talks and interactions with others who share our religious beliefs, we finally find someone who shares our devotion to God and who can assist us in becoming even closer to him. A issue in our own religious life exists if we do not experience conflict or loss as a result of our date not being on the same spiritual wavelength as us. A problem has occurred.
Meanwhile, many of us have had the same difficulties as the presenter of a popular television program. A person and a God are both things that we yearn for.
Moreover, we aren’t always sure whether or not the wants are in sync with one other. The spiritual part of dating may be tough to manage, and it can be confusing. • Is this the person God has in mind for me?
• Is this the person God has in mind for me?
• Do we have a spiritual compatibility with one another?
The “proper” method to introduce God into my relationship is not clear to me.
• What is our spiritual relationship like?
If we are spiritually opposed to one another, what do we do?
• Am I denying the possibility of spiritual disputes between us?
The whole book is devoted to a biblical perspective on dating limits, but this chapter focuses on these and other clearly spiritual themes in particular. Because of the concerns you will be addressing here, you will be able to create limits that will strengthen the spiritual aspect of your dating life as you go.
Upside-Down Dating Is the New Normal
Taking an acceptable position on dating and your spiritual life is the first thing you need to address. From the very beginning of your relationship, this posture may assist you in solving a variety of difficulties and providing answers to many queries. In relation to dating and the spiritual life, our attitude is important.
It is not a question of how to fit our spiritual lives into our dating lives; rather, it is a question of how to fit our dating lives inside our spiritual lives. To attempt to explain God in the context of dating is to take an upside-down approach to reality.
It is his gift to us to have life and love, and it is under his authority. He is the creator of everything wonderful, including dating.
To approach dating from the right-side-up, you must first put it before God and pray for guidance. The One who created emotional relationships, after all, understands the best way to conduct them in a manner that is satisfying for us while also glorifying to him.
Some Christians have come to the conclusion that dating is not a suitable Christian activity as a result of this approach. One aspect of that line of reasoning is acceptable to us, even if we disagree with the conclusion.
When we give our dating lives as a living sacrifice, we are helping to submit all elements of our lives to God’s plan for our existence, which is a wonderful thing. The more we surrender our lives to him, the more he is able to mold them into the people we were intended to be: “For it is in him that we live, move, and have our being” (John 14:6). (Acts 17:28).
It is possible to be idolized in a relationship as an alternative to submission. Although dating is a positive experience, we might fall into the trap of idolatry if we expect dating to provide us the love, satisfaction, or desire we want without first seeking God’s guidance.
The experience of dating may elicit intense emotions as well as wants, and as a result, idol worship might become a reality. Many times, a person may discover that her connection with God is requiring some effort and sacrifice.
As her dating life grows increasingly complicated, she takes a detour. In order to put your life back into alignment with God’s will, you may need to establish limits regarding dating as an idol.
One could notice that his or her personal religious beliefs are increasing and fading depending on the nature of his or her romantic relationship, for instance. He will get enthused about God because of his next date, or he will have a peripheral connection with God as a result of the same circumstance. Rather of assuming responsibility for his own connection with God, he is relying on his date to provide him with a relationship with God.
Marriage, according to the Bible, is a significant financial and emotional commitment that lasts a lifetime.
Similarities exist in the worlds of dating and friendships. Because of this, it’s a good idea to consult with God about their respective roles in your life: “I would want you to be free from worry.” When it comes to the Lord’s business, an unmarried man is preoccupied with how he might satisfy the Lord.
In contrast, a married man is preoccupied with the things of this world, namely with how he might satisfy his wife, and his interests are split” (1 Corinthians 7:32–34).
It is the first and most important step in bringing dating into alignment with God. It is not, however, the only option available to you. Because surrender puts us into appropriate alignment with God, many other things that will help us develop will be able to take place as a result of our surrender.
How Your Dating Relationship Is Producing Results
Consider how your romantic relationship is affecting your spiritual life and how you may make changes. Does it make you feel closer to God, or does it make you feel farther away from Him? Important interactions seldom allow us to maintain a spiritually neutral state of mind. Their tendency is to choose between the two options. For the purpose of evaluating this question, the following are a few items to consider:
• Does that person cause you to be pulled to the transcendent God?
Does the other person share your beliefs on spirituality? If yes, how did you get to that conclusion?
• Have you experienced spiritual progress as a result of your interactions with that individual?
If the other person challenges you spiritually rather than you needing to be the catalyst, this is a good sign.
• Is the spiritual connection based on fact or on belief systems? Is the individual genuine and spiritual at the same time?
• Is the partnership a safe space where both parties may be vulnerable about their flaws and sins?
Take for example, supposing you’ve placed yourself under the authority of Christ. At this point, we’d want to take a look at numerous aspects of dating and spirituality in order to assist you in determining what your own limits should be in this realm.
What do you think needs to grow?
It is a wonderful feeling to begin to reveal oneself spiritually to your date at this point. As you get more comfortable with one another, you will be able to disclose more intimate pieces of yourselves, allowing you to grow closer to one another and to God. Your religious narrative, values, problems, spiritual autonomy, and friendships are just a few of the parts of your spiritual life that you will want to share with your partner when you begin your relationship.
Let’s take a closer look at each of these components.
Story of Belief
Every believer has a narrative of how their connection with God started and progressed throughout their lives. A person who does not have a spiritual past is likely to have a limited spiritual presence in the present. A person who has plotted her spiritual journey, on the other hand, is providing you with a window into her personality and her way of being in the world.
The experiences of a few individuals have been highly dramatic and miraculous in nature. Others have had heartbreaking losses and catastrophes, yet they have been supported by God throughout it all. Some have experienced significant emotional and personal healing as a result of God’s intervention.
Others have wrestled with theological issues that are difficult to understand. Others have developed creative methods to minister to and help people in need in the name of Jesus Christ. Learn about the ups and downs of each other’s spiritual journey by asking questions.
Values
Your personal values serve as the framework for who you are. Their composition is based on your own values, which include what you consider is most important in life and how you live your life in line with these values. When it comes to values, they are occasionally worth dying for, and they are surely worth dating and breaking up for. It is for this reason that being honest about your ideals is so important. Your values will include a wide range of topics, including:
• theology • calling in life • relationships • job and career • finances • family • sexuality • social concerns
Your life is shaped by your values. Remove them from the teachings of the Bible and replace them with your own. Incorporate them into your dating universe. Inquire about issues and express your opinions. Identifying which values are deal breakers and which ones are not is essential. Remember not to become involved with someone with whom you are fundamentally incompatible in the hopes that they may see the light and alter their ways.
I know a guy who felt called to full-time ministry and followed his heart. He fell in love with and married a lady who didn’t feel called to a life of service to the church or community. They have not pursued a career in professional ministry, despite the fact that they are engaged in their community church. However, they have faced enormous difficulties. He is resentful of the fact that she prevented him from entering the ministry. And she believes she is being held hostage by his determination that they enter full-time ministry.
Keep in mind that values play an important role in dating.
Struggles
Failure, loss, and life-changing situations are all part of the Christian journey. Anyone who has been a Christian for any length of time is aware that the spiritual life is fraught with heartache, confusion, and blunders that must be learned the hard way. As a result, to understand a person’s spiritual journey is to understand the moments when they have tripped in the dark.
When it came to his dates, a friend of mine had a habit of wanting to present himself as the ideal Christian gentleman. His partnerships were never successful. In either case, he felt unknowable because the lady believed him, or he felt condemned because she saw through him and saw through him. He found a lady he truly loved and, after spending some time with her, he decided to take a chance on her marriage.
“I just want you to be aware that I am capable of sexual manipulation,” he informed her. It has happened to me before to be safe and loving in order to make a lady feel more comfortable engaging in physical closeness.
I’ve taken advantage of the situation. I am aware that I have matured and evolved in my relationship with God as well as in my handling of personal concerns. But I’m well aware that that part of myself is still there. I’m very concerned about you and want to get to know you further. In any case, I believed you should be aware of it so that we can deal with the situation honestly if it arises.”
Later, he informed me that the lady had been completely taken aback by his revelation. But she admired his candor about his difficulties, as well as the proof of his genuine concern for her well-being. That particular relationship did not go to the point of marriage, but it did so for reasons other than the battle. My buddy never looked back on the decision to include her in his struggle.
In fact, he informed me that his current dating connections are much improved as a result of his previous dating experiences. He is more forthright about where he is in his relationship with God and his advancement. He is selecting better women to date, and the quality of his relationships has increased as a result of his improved selection.
The desire to put your best foot forward in a relationship is undoubtedly admirable, and there is nothing wrong with bringing your best self into the relationship first and foremost. Knowing wonderful things prepares us to tolerate learning awful things later on, since grace must always come before truth.
Also, if you don’t know how safe the other person is, talking up about your struggles too soon might be a source of concern. Finality, if you don’t know anything about your date’s spiritual issues, you can’t claim to be familiar with your date’s personality.
Some of the difficulties that individuals who are dating might discuss with one another are as follows:
• Having doubts about God’s care or existence; living a life separate from God; experiencing spiritual adolescence and questioning all you have been taught; experiencing periods of self-absorption and neglecting your spiritual progress
Something is wrong if you are dating someone who claims she has never failed or reconsidered her decisions. Either she is completely delusional, or you should be concerned about what she is doing with you! Loss and failure are necessary parts of each person’s development. When it comes to coping with the good and the bad in life, the Bible says that mature people have a lot of experience:
“But substantial nourishment is for the mature,” the Bible says. “They have taught themselves to separate good from evil by regular usage” (Hebrews 5:14).
Autonomy in one’s spiritual life
Allow me to now examine your current spiritual state of affairs. What kind of spiritual practices do you and your date engage in? What state is it in? Is it alive and well, or does it need resurrection? People who are attempting to maintain a good dating relationship need to be aware that the other person is spiritually independent of themselves.
That is, he has his own personal relationship with God, which he maintains on a consistent basis regardless of his circumstances. It assures that he does not turn to you for religious guidance or inspiration, and that he is free from dependence on you. He had some on him.
