How to Deal with Change in Your Relationships
Inevitably, relationships evolve and change as people grow and mature in them. Understanding your spouse and learning to handle differences are the first steps in dealing with change.
It is undoubtedly one of the most difficult and complicated parts of the human experience to navigate one’s relationships with intimate partners, friends, and relatives.
Change is inevitable in every relationship, but it may be difficult for one or both parties to comprehend why it is occurring and what can be done to address it.
Consequently, you may experience irritation and disagreement, leading you to believe that your relationship problems are insurmountable. The good news is that if you take the time to understand the underlying reasons of relationship change, you can learn how to work through it as a couple.
Changes occur for a multitude of reasons.
In the course of their development, relationships, particularly close ones, pass through a number of phases. During this time, you and your spouse may also be dealing with stressful life events such as health problems, financial troubles, and disagreements with friends or family members.
Life events, such as relocating to a new area or starting a new profession, may be exhilarating. Relationship issues might arise even when there is a beneficial stressor.
Partnership happiness may be significantly impacted, according to study conducted in 2021, regardless of whether the stressor originates inside cause outside the relationship.
What kinds of changes might you expect to see in your relationship?
Some changes that occur in relationships have a greater influence on the individuals involved than others. For example, major transformations may include the following:
One of you has decided that having children is no longer a priority.
Your companion wants to reside in a location that you do not approve of.
Your significant other comes to terms with the fact that they are not monogamous, that they identify as a different gender, or that they no longer have the same sexual preferences as you.
Your significant other is diagnosed with a new physical or mental health issue.
However, even apparently little changes may have a significant impact on the dynamics of a relationship. These are some examples:
Your companion decides to join a gym or take up a new pastime.
A new buddy is made by one of you.
The working hours of you or your spouse have changed.
For the first time, annoying behaviors begin to manifest themselves.
Many of these changes are merely the consequence of the natural phases that a relationship goes through as it progresses through its stages. Understanding what these phases are and how you may feel as you go through them might be beneficial in the future.
How do connections develop?
In general, there are five frequently acknowledged phases that a relationship might go through as it progresses.
1. The stage of infatuation or “honeymooning”
This is the period in a relationship when you can’t seem to get enough of one other and is intoxicating and all-consuming.
Despite the fact that the sensation is joyful, this is also the period in which both individuals are at their best — making it impossible to detect any undesirable characteristics in the other. The phrase “blinded by love” is said to have originated in this context.
2. The stage of coming together
It is at this point when you both acknowledge your feelings for one another and begin to incorporate your lives together. You may share the news of your relationship with others by posting it on social media, and you can begin to consider long-term life objectives such as marriage or cohabitation.
Small changes begin to appear around this time, which may indicate that you and your spouse are entering the next chapter of your relationship.
3. The power struggle or disillusionment stage
This period is characterized by natural changes that might be challenging to manage.
What was previously charming in your partner might now be bothersome. Differences in values and life objectives become obvious, and the love blindness experienced during the infatuation stage is now replaced with 20/20 vision.
Most couples will reach this point when they will begin to wonder everything about their relationship and even question if it should continue.
4. The stage of making a commitment
Once the bumpy road that you and your partner often traveled down in the previous stage has receded, your relationship may enter a period of understanding and mutual respect.
You both recognize that you can’t change the other and that you must learn to accept your differences. Of course, issues brought on by life pressures will continue to exist at this period, but you and your spouse will be better prepared to deal with them as they arise.
5. The co-creation stage
As time passes and your relationship has withstood a few storms, a spirit of partnership begins to take hold. As a committed team, you and your spouse get to understand one another and begin to take on the world together.
This period is not without its difficulties. However, according to a 2014 research on marital lifespan, couples that have been together for a longer period of time are less likely to separate.
Is it harmful to change in a relationship?
When a relationship evolves, it isn’t always a terrible thing; it all depends on how you and your partner deal with it.
Changes may be beneficial in certain cases, such as starting a new profession or adopting a healthier lifestyle by joining a gym.
Despite the fact that it is a good change, it is possible to have difficulty adjusting to any form of change.
For example, your partner’s promotion at work may be a good development in and of itself, but it may also entail lengthy hours of work. If you or your spouse are having difficulty adjusting to this new schedule, it may put a strain on your relationship.
Some modifications, on the other hand, are not necessarily beneficial.
Consider the following scenario: your spouse was affectionate and attentive at the beginning of the relationship, but with time he or she became abusive. This unfavorable shift has the potential to have a detrimental impact on the relationship’s fundamentals.
Whether your spouse has changed in a manner that causes you mental or bodily damage in any way, you should consider reevaluating your relationship to see if it is no longer a safe condition for you.
Adapting to a new situation
What should you do if anything major or little changes in your relationship? Here are some pointers to help you get through it effectively.
Determine if there are any plausible explanations for the shift in behavior.
It’s possible that some changes in you or your spouse indicate that they’re developing a medical or mental health problem such as depression. You might try contacting them with empathy and asking if there is anything you can do to assist them if you feel this is the case.
Some of your partner’s behavioral changes may not be indicative of a true shift in their thinking or conduct. You may be annoyed because they’re doing something they’ve always done, but for whatever reason, it’s beginning to offend your sensibilities.
You might consider conducting some introspection to see whether or not this is something you can live with or accept. It is possible to explain this to your spouse in order to come up with a solution or a compromise that is acceptable to both of you.
Find out what is causing the issue.
A good technique to cope with a spouse who has changed is to ask yourself the following question: What precisely is it about this difference that I find irritating? Following the identification of the problem, you may more effectively articulate your concerns.
Rather of stating, “I despise this new buddy you’ve made,” you may say to your spouse, “I’m delighted you’ve found someone you like hanging out with, but I’m concerned that we aren’t spending nearly enough time together as I’d like.”
Learn to communicate well so that others can understand you.
The ability to communicate well in a relationship is essential for understanding the other partner’s point of view when something doesn’t seem quite right.
The investigation of probable causes for major changes, such as a spouse who suddenly decides he or she does not want to have children, may be required.
For example, it’s possible that they really want children but are concerned about their ability to provide for them. It is possible to work together to alleviate their anxieties after you have gained an understanding of the causes for the shift.
Recognize when changes are necessary but not sufficient.
If your partner has changed in a manner that you know you’ll have a difficult time adjusting to, or if they’re engaging in harmful or abusive behavior, it may be essential to stop the relationship at some point in the future. That’s perfectly OK.
It’s not easy to let go of a relationship, but it’s often the best option for either one or both parties.
Non-romantic partnerships are undergoing transformation.
Relationships with friends, family members, and even coworkers are not immune to the effects of time and distance.
If one of your friends has just joined a new relationship, but you stay single, this may be a cause for concern. As a result, the dynamics of your friendship may shift significantly.
The process of coping with this is similar to the process of dealing with change in a love relationship. It is possible to acclimatize to the new normal via honest and open communication combined with empathy.
Is there anything more we can do?
As with all living things, relationships develop and evolve as the seasons of life change.
You may guarantee that your relationships grow in the manner in which they were intended to by accepting change and learning to adjust when expectations aren’t fulfilled.
For couples who are experiencing difficulty adapting to changes, whether major or minor, relationship therapy or marital counseling may be a good option. Many couples find that talking with a qualified expert helps them adjust to changes, deal with conflict, and offer the skills they need to cope with life’s challenges.
