How to Deal with a Toxic Manager in the Workplace
Do you have to work with someone who is a bully? The quickest approach to answer this question is to inquire as to how you are feeling. It is a hostile work environment if you feel scared, annoyed, and dread coming into the workplace because you are belittled, humiliated, disregarded, and cut down.
In most cases, managers who bully are under a great deal of strain, like being in command, and thrive on two things: emotional response and attention.
They thrive on the ability to control and manipulate others. The toxic boss, on the other hand, may achieve success by instilling fear in their staff, but they will also have a shorter shelf life when it comes to long-term success.
Just remember that you are not alone in your feelings. The most common reason for individuals to quit their jobs is because they dislike their employer. A toxic boss may be found in practically every workplace in corporate America. Workplace emotional abuse, according to a 2017 poll by the Workplace Bullying Institute, is described as “repeated maltreatment of an employee by one or more workers or supervisor; abusive behaviour that is threatening, humiliating, or frightening, job sabotage, or verbal abuse.” According to the results of the survey:
Bullying occurs in the workplace, and 61 percent of Americans are aware of it.
Bullying in the workplace has an impact on 60 million people in the United States.
Bullies make up 61 percent of the workforce.
When harassed workers attempted to halt the bullying, they were fired in 65 percent of cases.
Finally, approximately 40% of persons who are bullied develop stress-related health issues such as severe anxiety, panic attacks, and clinical depression as a result of the bullying (39 percent).
1. Shift your attention away from your employer and onto your task.
Because a bully is unlikely to modify their behavior, your best bet is to focus on changing your own. Instead of concentrating on your boss’s attempts to frighten you, concentrate only on the specifics and responsibilities of your position. Make certain that you are concentrating on the proper thing, which is your work rather than your boss’s.
More emotional power you give your toxic boss, the more likely it is that your boss will direct his or her attention on you as a target. Bullies are more concerned with reading your energy than they are with studying your performance. If your supervisor never makes eye contact with you, he or she will never get the invitation to enter your emotional zone. When you concentrate only on the work assigned to you in your position, you avoid giving off the impression of dread and concern about getting approval from your superiors.
Related: Is Your Boss a Bully in the Workplace? According to new research, there’s a surprising reason behind this.
2. Gain an understanding of the bully.
The boss who is fundamentally a bully is an insecure, manipulative individual who has a tendency to throw tantrums. They are entitled to their own desires and aspirations. The majority of you would not allow this sort of conduct in your own children, and you should not tolerate this type of attitude from your employer. The difficulty is that your employer has a great deal of power over your job. As a result, you are unable to fight fire with fire.
The demands of toxic employers are changed so quickly that it is impossible to match their expectations or execute their instructions appropriately. It is a good habit to keep thorough notes of all interactions with your supervisor, including the times, dates, and specifics of what was said. This will assist you in staying on target. When your supervisor attempts to gaslight you about what you believe you are meant to be doing, you will have documentation of what was said and asked, when it occurred, and on what date it occurred. Having this record readily accessible will assist you in remaining grounded in the facts and out of the flames of emotional drama.
These letters also serve to keep your employer in check since he or she is afraid that you may report him or her to human resources. It permits you to remain organized and to confront your toxic employer on your own terms if you take notes.
3. Establish quiet time constraints.
Body language is an excellent tool for dealing with a bully boss in a nonverbal but effective manner. Every opportunity you have, turn your body away from your employer. At all times, give your employer the side of your body or the rear of your body. When you have to meet your employer face to face, concentrate on rising your chest and your chin. This stance shows that you are open to conversation and not intimidated in a subtle but effective way.
Bullies like it when their prey cowers. When your toxic employer comes after you in an aggressive manner, it is normal for you to shrink; this posture will take over quickly if you are under siege of feelings such as guilt or embarrassment. When you pay attention to your body language, you are giving yourself an unfair advantage. Your toxic employer will notice that you are exuding a more positive energy, and they will naturally reply less aggressively. Body language is a more potent communicator than words since words may be used against you by the bully, however body language cannot.
4. Define linguistic boundaries.
Examine your boss’s behavior from a purely objective standpoint. Make a list of the pertinent information. When you approach your supervisor with facts and a powerful physical stance, you will speak less and achieve more. The more anxious we are, the more likely it is that we will speak. When you have more information, you may create more reasonable boundaries. Stick to the facts rather than attempting to persuade your supervisor to change his/her mind or elicit any empathy or understanding from him/her.
Facts are the information you need, and they are the knowledge you need. You must communicate to your manager that you will no longer accept the unfavorable facts on your list that pertain to how you are being treated in your current job. If your employer becomes agitated or begins to act out, you should leave the discussion and escalate the situation to the person directly above your supervisor. Inform your manager that, due to his or her inability to speak logically, you will be taking your problems elsewhere.
5. Establish a network of people.
It is critical to maintain open lines of contact with other workers who are being subjected to your boss’s terrible behavior. As a reminder, encourage your employees to keep a record of the dates, times, and discussions they have with your boss. The greater the number of individuals who participate in recording the facts, the better the case you build for human resources to intervene and, if necessary, seek to further train or fire your toxic boss. The more evidence that is presented into human resources from a variety of sources, the easier it is to recognize and manage a pattern of abuse.
6. Inform management and human resources of the bully’s actions.
Provide evidence to your superiors and human resources demonstrating that you have done all you can on your own to live with and abate your employer’s flagrantly abusive conduct. You should also meet with your colleagues and your boss to discuss your experiences. In your own words, describe the effect that bullying has had on your physical, emotional, and mental health, as well as how it has had a detrimental influence on your professional performance. Make a formal complaint and give human resources the authority to launch an inquiry. In the interim, you may need to take a paid leave in order to prevent more abuse once your employer becomes aware that he or she is under investigation, or you may be able to continue working as usual and offer your supervisor the opportunity to demonstrate some change.
Your report is due on Monday, and you’re quaking in your boots because you’re so stressed out. Whatever you do, you can be certain that your employer will find a way to dismantle it with harsh words of condemnation. Alternatively, it may be Friday, and your back is throbbing from the strain of carrying your whole staff over the previous seven days.
If your boss is inattentive, and you aren’t present to perform all of the work, you begin to wonder how the firm manages to remain afloat when you aren’t there. If any of these events bring up memories of your previous job, you may be experiencing the effects of a toxic boss.
Working for an abusive employer may leave you feeling trapped…you need the money, yet turning up to work is taking a mental toll on your well-being. You could also want to call them out, but you’re worried about the implications. These suggestions will assist you in walking that fine line and maybe getting out of a sticky situation.
More information may be found at: What to Do When the Workplace Bully is Your Boss.
What is the definition of a toxic boss?
Toxic bosses come in a variety of shapes and sizes; some are overpowering and critical, while others are so tuned-out that you wonder how they got the position in the first place. They may single out individuals, openly criticize their flaws, or treat the workplace like a “good ole boys’ club,” maintaining sexist, racist, and homophobic belief systems in the process.
It might be difficult to tell if your employer is acting in a poisonous manner on purpose or is just out of touch with the times. Some of the jokes they tell are unpleasant, and you’re not sure whether they’ve over the line or not. Then you can persuade yourself, “They’re from another generation,” and that they just don’t grasp what is considered suitable these days. (Hello, deception by gaslight.) That does not absolve the conduct, and it does not even make it non-toxic in the first place. If a behavior seems poisonous to you, it is likely that it is toxic, regardless of whether it was meant to be harmful. In case you’re still not convinced, here are some tell-tale indications of a toxic boss to look out for:
Signs of a toxic boss include:
1. They create unreasonable expectations for their employees.
Is your supervisor pressuring you to work long hours after the office has closed? Alternatively, do you want every report to be excellent, without providing you the opportunity to improve? If the bar has been purposely raised over your head and your supervisor isn’t providing you with feedback to assist you fulfill requirements, your relationship with them is poisonous.
2. They have favored individuals.
Taylor, on the other hand, seems to be the company’s scapegoat, despite the fact that Taylor has done nothing wrong. If your supervisor points fingers at certain workers while simultaneously complimenting others for the same level of performance, they are poisonous to the workplace.
3. They are unable to acknowledge their own flaws.
Yikes! While some leaders are quick to point out the deficiencies in their subordinates’ performance, others have a difficult time admitting (or even acknowledging) their own shortcomings. This is unquestionably poisonous conduct, and it may even be a clue that your employer has a narcissistic personality type.
4. They expect you to carry out their instructions.
Toxic leaders delight in taking credit for the labor of others. They may even attempt to delegate their responsibilities to you, but they will not give you the credit you deserve for your efforts.
5. They get agitated.
Toddlers don’t seem to be the only ones who throw temper tantrums, it seems. If the tiniest thing causes your boss to erupt in wrath, not only is your boss poisonous, but the work atmosphere may even be hazardous to your health and safety.
Exactly how their toxicity affects you
The fact that you are in a toxic workplace is sometimes obvious, but other times your body may alert you to the fact before your brain consciously acknowledges the scenario. Here are some symptoms that your boss’s toxic conduct is having a negative influence on your health and well being.
1. You’re having a bad day at work.
Do you wake up with a sore stomach every morning? Alternatively, you may have gotten persistent migraines. When work-related stress gets severe, emotional stress often manifests itself in the form of physical problems such as headaches or stomach ulcers.
2. You are apprehensive about going into the office.
We may all remember the pinch of terror we felt when the words “pop quiz” were spoken into our primary school ears for the first time. You could get the same sense of dread before going to work. Despite the fact that most of us would prefer to sleep in rather than go to work, it is not acceptable to be afraid of your place of employment. You may be suffering as a result of your toxic boss’s actions.
3. You’ve formed anxious tendencies as a result of your experiences.
If you find yourself biting your nails, jiggling your leg, or banging your nails on your desk, it’s possible that you’ve acquired a nervous habit in order to cope with the stress of your workplace. If you didn’t do any of these things before you had a toxic boss, it might be a clue that you’re now being influenced by one.
4. You are suffering from a poor sense of self-worth.
With so much negativity being thrown at us on a daily basis, it might be tempting to absorb it. Particularly if your supervisor is too critical, you may find yourself lacking in self-assurance and self-esteem. The fact that you’re feeling this way indicates that you’re in an unfavorable atmosphere.
How Microaggressions Affect Health at Work.
What to do when your boss is poisonous
If they’re channeling mega-toxic energy, then…
Knowing how to identify a toxic boss is just half the battle; the other half is dealing with the problem. The manner in which you go about it is very dependent on the amount of toxic your employer is. If they fit into one of these categories and they aren’t at the top of the company’s food chain, you should consider dealing with the matter at a higher level than they are currently at.
There is nothing in them that is racist, sexist, homophobic, or discriminatory in any manner.
They are brazenly cruel and seem to take pleasure in assaulting their employees.
You are made to feel uncomfortable by their interactions with you.
A difficult talk with your boss’s boss or human resources might be frightening, but being prepared can help to alleviate your fears.
Document the incidents in as much detail as you can recall, including the dates and times of the incidents, any exact language that were used, and whether or not there were any witnesses to the occurrence. Explain why you believe they are a danger to the workplace, and produce a list of specific actions you would want higher-ups to take in the future. You may even request that your identity be kept secret or that your name be excluded from any remedial talks between management and your supervisor.
More information may be found at: 6 Reasons to Consult with Human Resources.
…or they’re more prone to misconceptions and miscommunications than other people.
If your supervisor isn’t quite as brave (or maybe isn’t even aware that they’re toxic in the first place), try having a polite but honest chat with them about it. Cultural background, upbringing, personality, stress, and other variables might have an influence on, but are not an excuse for, communication styles and preferences in the workplace.
More information may be found at Mean Girls in the Workplace.
Consider the following scenario: your employer has yelled at you for making a tiny mistake. Consider the following example of how to structure a response:
“While I generally enjoy input, I find it difficult to concentrate when individuals are shouting at me. ” That does not make me feel comfortable in the job, and when I do not feel secure, I am unable to perform at my highest level of performance. Please refrain from using profanity against me in the future.”
The reply of your supervisor to this answer will assist you in determining the degree of toxicity they possess. If they express regret, it is possible that they are willing to learn from their errors. If they continue to throw obscenities at you or lay responsibility on you, it may be appropriate to bring up the subject of HR again.
More information may be found at Mean Girls in the Workplace.
When their toxicity has an influence on your employment prospects at the firm
If your employer is both extremely toxic and also the company’s CEO, you are likely to feel particularly trapped in your position.
If you are financially able to do so, you may decide to just cut your losses and exit the situation at that moment. This is a significant step, but it is one that must be taken, particularly if you do not believe that your employer will write you glowing recommendation letters in the future, as is the case. Consider what you are actually benefiting from the circumstance (apart from financial gain) and answer that question for yourself. If this is a vocation that you are passionate about, you deserve to have people that care about you and want to see you succeed.
But what if you like your business and your job…just it’s that your boss is getting in the way of you having a fantastic time at work?
Consult with upper management about the potential of moving teams before giving up hope. That might be a terrific strategy to continue working for the firm but keeping communication with your employer to a minimum, especially in larger companies.
If it seems that you will be trapped with this boss for the foreseeable future, it is time to ask yourself some more difficult questions. It is probable that your boss’s influence will be felt across the organization if they are well-established in the organization and want to stay for the long term. Interested in being a part of a firm that promotes this kind of behavior? Perhaps you aren’t the focus of your boss’s jokes all of the time, but consider the effect it has on the people who are. Indulging in harassment while remaining complacent may have a negative influence on your professional reputation in the long run.
