How to Control Your Emotional Energy and Improve Your Mental Health
The quantity of time in a day is the same for every human being, regardless of their age, location, socioeconomic situation, or ethnicity: 24 hours, 1440 minutes, and 86400 seconds. To be honest, that seems very basic. And yet, why is it possible for some individuals seem to be able to accomplish even more, take longer vacations, be completely involved in all parts of their life, and yet have more physical, mental and emotional energy than others? Is it because they are more physically fit? Can you tell me how they seem to have more time?
During this time, the vast majority of us are just trying to make ends meet. Getting out of bed in the morning and conjuring up the energy to go through the day is impossible without a cup of coffee (or two). Choosing fast food and quick meals allows us to go to our next meeting, activity, or work in a shorter amount of time.
We get impatient as a result of the stress and expectations of our jobs. In a hurry, we get impatient or overreact, which causes us to make thoughtless errors or forget basic things. We’re completely exhausted at the end of the day. To unwind and enjoy a glass of wine, we just want to lie on the sofa and detach from the world (or two, or three). We believe there is just not enough time in the day and are overwhelmed and depleted of our energy and resources.
Identify the parts of this that ring a bell. “Well, if I only had more time…” you could think.
According to Jim Loehr and Tony Schwartz’s book The Power of Full Engagement: Controlling Energy, Not Time, Is the Key to High Performance and Personal Renewal, it is not truly about managing your time, but rather about managing your emotional energy instead.
According to them, “the number of hours in a day is set, but the amount and quality of energy accessible to us are not.” The resource is our most valuable asset. The more our willingness to accept responsibility for the energy we provide to the planet, the more powerful and productive we will be.”
What Is Emotional Energy and How Does It Work?
Emotional energy, as simple as it may appear, is the energy we get from our feelings and emotions. Our energy is derived from our emotions, which vibrate at varying frequencies depending on the intensity of the emotion. I realize this may come out as a little “woo woo,” but bear with me.
Consider a period when you were delighted and bursting with energy, as if you were on top of the world. Take a minute to recall this experience. Perhaps it was receiving a promotion or raise at work, sharing your first kiss with your spouse, traveling to a new nation, or just laughing till your stomach ached with your closest friend (or all of the above).
Those feelings of pleasure, love, passion, and excitement that you were experiencing at the moment are referred to as high-frequency vibrations. In such times, you had the impression that you had an endless supply of energy—you could have stayed up all night! Because your emotions were high-frequency vibrations, you had an abundance of available energy. You were working on the basis of high-frequency vibrations!
Fear, sadness, melancholy, and insecurity are some of the lower frequency vibrations that may be found on the other end of the spectrum. Whenever you look back to a point in your life when you split up with someone you truly loved, were fired from your job, or were melancholy or unhappy, you probably remember that your emotional energy level was quite low.
What is it that saps your emotional energy?
The most common things that deplete your emotional energy are listed below.
Excessive stress and concern
Negativity
Guilt \Indecision
Overcommitting/overwhelm
There aren’t any healthy limits in place.
Rumination on the negative
What Can You Do to Boost Your Emotional Energy Levels?
Our emotions are the source of our energy. For want of a better expression, the emotions we experience become the energy we radiate into the world, and we tend to attract the energy we radiate. “Like attracts like,” “birds of a feather flock together,” and similar phrases are all examples of the law of attraction in action.
What would you say about your life and the people you surround yourself with if you took an honest look at them? Would you say they are mostly negative or predominantly good influences? Do they express dissatisfaction or do they encourage others? The outside world serves as a mirror for you. It just mirrors what is going on on the inside of your head.
This is neither “good” nor “bad,” as the case may be. There is no condemnation or judgment here; it just “is.” It is critical to remember that now is not the time for self-reflection or evaluation. It is merely an evaluation of the current situation.
Make an honest assessment of your current situation, money, friendships, or whatever area you wish to concentrate on improving. Has your dream come true and it all you hoped and pictured it to be? If this is the case, it is necessary to analyze some of the ideas, thoughts, and emotions associated with those regions. The good news is that you have complete control over the situation.
If our energy is derived from our emotions, it follows that you have the ability to alter your emotions and, therefore, your energy. Emovere, a Latin derivation of the term emotion, literally translates as “move forth, agitate” or “put energy in motion.”
Put that enthusiasm to work and see what happens. Here are five suggestions on how to regulate your emotional energy in order to maintain your mental well-being.
1. Engage in activities that you find pleasurable and enjoyable.
This seems to be a straightforward procedure. Take a moment to reflect on when you last purposefully set aside time to accomplish activities you really like and enjoy doing? If you’ve been feeling overloaded and depleted, I’m guessing it’s been a while since you did anything about it. You may try scheduling in a few hours this weekend to do something you actually like and that offers you pleasure. You are deserving of it.
2. Surround yourself with positive people who encourage and support you.
After that, surround yourself with good people and eliminate poisonous connections and relationships from your life. If the poisonous connection involves a family member, attempt to restrict the amount of time you spend with them while maintaining a pleasant attitude toward them. Initially, this may seem challenging, but if you are functioning on high-frequency vibrations (see the chart above), your energy will cause the vibrations of that interaction to rise in response to your actions.
3. Learn how to say “no” without feeling guilty about your decision.
It’s quite OK to decline an offer. “No” to others is the same as “yes” to oneself in many ways. You, on the other hand, are the most important person on the planet. If you are no longer alive, there will be no one to care for people you care about. First and first, put your oxygen mask on before aiding others. Self-care is not a sign of being self-indulgent.
4) Quit feeling like you “Should” Yourself
Language, I feel, is really powerful, and our experiences are shaped by the way we express and utilize words, in my opinion. The term “shouldn’t” has to be removed from your lexicon completely. A great deal of weight, sorrow, remorse, and condemnation are attached to the term “condemned.”
Experiment with the following statements without the term “shouldn’t.”
It was a mistake for me to spend so much time in front of the television. “I spent a lot of time in front of the computer.”
The thought occurred to me that I shouldn’t have spent my time on this. The time spent on this was a waste of time.
“That shouldn’t have occurred,” says the author of the piece. The event took place. “It took place.”
If you take away the word “shouldn’t,” your behavior or occurrence becomes entirely non-threatening. Because of this, it is no longer considered “negative,” but rather “neutral,” neither good nor bad, simply what is. It enables you to transition from a state of neutrality to a state of responsibility from that neutral position. Ask yourself, “What did I learn from this?” if you’ve done something you shouldn’t have.
When you continuously “should-ing” yourself, circumstances, or behaviors, you get entrapped in your own history. We can’t undo the past (surprise!) and this leaves you trapped in a victim mindset or a sense of self-blame for your actions.
“What else might I do instead?” is a more crucial question to ask oneself. Consider what you’ve learned, then take action. “Do you have any ideas on what I’m going to do?”
Please replace the word should with the word choose to. Thank you. Keep an eye out for how these words alter your perception of the words.
The thought occurred to me that I should go for a run and get some exercise.” The option of going for a run and getting some exercise appeals to me.
Stopping negative self-talk should be a key priority for me.” “I have decided to cease negative self-talk.”
The phrase “I should be more patient” has been replaced with “I elect to be more patient.”
Making the switch from the word “should” to the word “choose to” puts you in command of your life. This is a time of great opportunity for you. Make a decision on what you’re going to do! Rather of being told “I should” and then doing nothing about it, you are given the opportunity to choose. Take ownership and accountability by using the phrase “I choose to.”
5. Mindfulness and meditation are important.
Mindfulness
brings attention to the feeling that arises without recognizing it as part of one’s own identity, but rather by just noting it and being interested about it. The absence of judgment is there when there is a sense of wonder. Acceptance is much simpler to follow when there is no judgment present.
Mindfulness meditation has been shown in several studies to be helpful in reducing stress and may enhance physical and mental health by altering the brain and body in beneficial ways. Researchers examined more than 200 trials on mindfulness in healthy adults and discovered that mindfulness-based treatment was particularly successful at lowering stress, anxiety, and depression. They also discovered that mindfulness-based therapy was particularly helpful at reducing pain.
Conclusion
“The greater the degree to which we accept responsibility for the energy we provide to the world, the more powerful and productive we are.”
The following is an excerpt from Jim Loehr’s essay
It is your job to direct the energy you expend. Knowing this is a liberating realization. It implies that you have the capacity to regulate your energy and mental well-being—not the environment, not other people, but yourself!! In this life, you have the opportunity to be the one who drives the car.
Ready to go behind the wheel?