How to contribute positivity in a conversation

As long as you are involved in negative dialogues, it is almost hard to perceive the possibilities, much alone see clearly all of the alternatives available to you. Positive framing is the process of “righting” your discourse—flipping the topic to address what you want to say or hear. A discussion may be brought up for air or breathed new life into it by purposefully directing it to concentrate on a desired goal and energizing interaction in order to create good outcomes. 

People are drawn in by a positive frame of mind that arouses their curiosity, imagination, and interest.. Those who believe this are incorrect in believing that they are concentrating only on the good. On the contrary, it is about approaching even the most difficult problems in a manner that inspires everyone to come up with innovative ideas and take action. 

A tool called Flipping is available to assist you in taking any issue or obstacle and putting it in a positive context. A three-step technique to shifting from a negative, deficit-based framing to a positive frame that allows you to work toward solutions by participating in discussions that are worth having is outlined below: This procedure is comprised of three steps:

Specify what you want it to be known as. What exactly is the issue, complaint, or item that you don’t want to happen?

It’s a flip. Was there anything you wanted that was the polar opposite of what you wanted?
It Should Be Framed The positive consequence of the flip being true is unclear; what is the intended result is not clear either way.

As an illustration from our book Conversations Worth Having, here is an example of how positive framing may transform a potentially critical or harmful discussion into a dialogue that is worthwhile. Mark, a mid-level manager of a Fortune 100 business, was getting ready to have a difficult talk with an employee who was very talented in her field of expertise. 

There was one important issue to contend with. Her regular tardiness and missed deadlines for their weekly meeting were a source of contention for the group. Incorporating positive framing into his work has helped Mark to retain positive relationship dynamics with his colleagues while also addressing problems that are affecting the broader team’s performance. A positive feeling of well-being pervades the department, and the team as a whole thrives as a consequence. Rather of avoiding the problem of lateness, Mark decided to confront it head-on so that the team and the department’s great record would not be jeopardized. 

Throughout the flipping process, he considered how he might move his initial depreciative frame to an appreciating frame and why. In order to fully understand the effect Melissa was having on the department, he took the time to thoroughly understand the consequences of her not being on time. Following is an outline of his thought process.

How did this come to be? Melissa arrives late and fails to meet deadlines on a consistent basis.
In this situation, what is the problem’s positive opposite? Ms. Melissa is a reliable worker who always arrives on time and completes tasks on schedule.

The consequences of Melissa being on time; what is the intended result Trust, mutual respect, and cooperation are high among members of the team, as seen by improved performance. We may maintain our brilliance as a result of all of these factors.
According to Mark, reframing increased his awareness and provided him with a more comprehensive understanding of how and why team members must be punctual. It also prompted him to consider if there were any other measures that might be taken to promote cohesiveness, as well as how he himself could make a more significant contribution to this effort.’ Did he miss opportunities to do things that would have set the setting for Melissa’s success and, in doing so, put her in a position of vulnerability? His state of mind and receptivity when Melissa came for their encounter were altered as a result of this.

During their first chat, Mark said, “Melissa, I want to make certain that we have a strong team that is built on trust, responsiveness, mutual respect, and cohesiveness because I believe it will enable us to be astonishingly successful as a result of our efforts.” Which of these statements is accurate?” “I agree; I hope I am helping to it,” Melissa said, a little hesitantly since she wasn’t sure where this was headed.

I hope I’m contributing in the best way possible to that as well, but I’m not confident in that.” Mark said. You and I seem to be on the same page here, which is great news. I appreciate all of your efforts, and your contributions are really valuable to our team. You are unquestionably making a positive contribution to our achievement. A problem has been brought to my attention, and I would appreciate it if you could assist me. 

Whenever you are absent from meetings or when something isn’t completed on time, I get the impression that others are becoming irritated. You have critical knowledge to provide, thus they are unable to go ahead as a result. You are a highly regarded member of this group of individuals. In the long run, I’m concerned that their dissatisfaction will escalate and undermine the trust and cohesiveness of the group. Any suggestions on how we may be able to maintain our cohesiveness as a group?

 Can you tell me if there’s anything I should be doing to make it happen?”

Even though Melissa was mortified by the situation, it seemed like Mark was receptive to her suggestions. “The meetings I’m late for are scheduled for 8 a.m. on Wednesdays, and I have a terrible time getting to work on time on that day,” she said. The only day I drop off my kid, Connor, at daycare is on that particular weekday morning and afternoon.

 My husband takes him on the other days, but he can’t take him on Wednesdays because of his work schedule. I can guarantee you that if we could set our regular meeting for 8:30 or 9:00 a.m. on any other day, I’d be there on time.

“Is that all it’s going to take?” Mark wondered. We’re sure we can work something out. When our next meeting comes along, we’ll postpone.” His realization dawned on him that he had never inquired about the meeting’s time. “And, speaking of deadlines,” Melissa said, “I despise it when I miss them as well; that’s not the type of reputation I want to have.” Sometimes I’m just late, and I need to improve my ability to be on time in the future. Some members of the team, on the other hand, establish deadlines for themselves without fully comprehending what it would take to fulfill those targets. I know I should speak up when I know it’s unlikely I’ll be able to achieve the deadline, but I feel like I’ll be letting the team down if I don’t try.”

As he acknowledged that his own leadership had had a part in this dynamic, he said, “I want you to know that everyone of us has a portion of the blame in this situation. Taking responsibility for not including workers in choices regarding meetings is a must for me, and the team as a whole must ensure that anytime deadlines are established, everyone who will be affected by those deadlines is included. In order to fix this issue at our next meeting, I’ll assume responsibility. 

You should speak out in the future if you believe a deadline is unreasonable, regardless of whether it has already been established and you are not there at the time of the deadline. Being a better team player is really a result of doing this. If we can’t modify the deadline, the team may assist you in brainstorming ways in which they can assist you in reaching the deadline. What do you think about that?”

It is easy to understand how consciously establishing a positive framing may alter the tone and direction of a discussion. This is something that we can all do in any discussion. Take a few additional minutes to flip our own thinking and perspective so that we may interact in ways that get us closer to the results we seek and benefit from is all it takes.

If you think about it, there have been moments when you purposefully started or ended a discussion in order to encourage genuine participation and connection in order to settle difficult difficulties. We’d be interested in hearing about what you did and how things turned out. When you share your experiences, even if they seem little, you will assist us all in seeing how simple it is to work together toward the common goal we all want.