How do you see yourself?
Are you able to maintain your stare in the mirror without flinching in discomfort because of the reflection?
Some years ago, when we were both very young, I recall having a conversation with a buddy, and he would speak about how embarrassing it was for him to be by himself when no one else was there.
God, I am so uncomfortable. He would think to himself when he was doing some activity, whether it was singing to himself, cleaning his room, or something entirely else. Every action that I take is embarrassing.
If you stare in the mirror, are you able to maintain your gaze without flinching in embarrassment?
I remember having a conversation with a buddy many years ago, when we were both very young, and he would speak about how embarrassing it was for him to be by himself when no one else was there.
Whenever he found himself engaged in a particular activity, such as singing to oneself or cleaning his room, he would say to himself, “God, I am so awkward.” Every single thing that I do is embarrassing.
That is something that has stayed with me forever. How is it even possible for us to feel humiliated in front of ourselves?
Because shame is the natural, visceral sensation of being seen in our frailty, Sartre describes it as evidence that other people do in fact exist.
However, this seemed to be something that went beyond that. Even though there is no chance of societal judgment, we continue to assess ourselves.
In a way, it is obvious that we are projecting a concept of how other people see us onto how we perceive ourselves. We take a societal judgment that we have observed and apply it to ourselves on a more permanent and identity-level basis.
On the other hand, I think there is something deeper going on, which the question, “How do you see yourself?” even suggests.
As a result of the fact that this entails a divide or an introspective inspection of oneself.
In a certain sense, all of this is just fine and dandy. A certain level of self-awareness is necessary for participation in any psychological and spiritual tradition.
On the other hand, if you are reading this piece and you are interested in how other people see themselves, then it is likely that your own self-reflection contains something that is inherently critical. You have turned against yourself, scrutinizing yourself for every single imperfection that you can find.
On the other hand, here’s the thing: if you hunt for defects, you will only find them. Because the defects are really there in the look, and not in the reflection,. mostly due to the fact that when you seek for problems, you look with judgment.
And since no one is even close to being flawless, the mind that is capable of judgment will always find something to judge. Because there is no such thing as good or evil, but thinking makes it so, the mind that is capable of judgment will always find something to judge. This is because the mind that is capable of judgment has already concluded that the terrible is the better option.
Therefore, when you glance in the mirror, you shouldn’t be too concerned about what you see. Instead, you should become conscious of the fact that the eyes you are using to look have developed a habit of seeing with judgment. This is because this is the default mode of the world, and this is the training that we have received.
Rather than that, you should start the gradual process of softening that gaze and gazing at yourself with affection. Engage in the practice of bringing more and more aspects of yourself into loving awareness. Keeping the damaged aspects of your psyche in your head is similar to a mother holding her kid in her arms. Recite positive affirmations to oneself in a soft voice, such as “May you be happy” and “may you be safe.” You are my love. You are my love. I have feelings for you.
Keep in mind that beauty is subjective and depends on the person who perceives it. Remind yourself once again of how you should see things.
The intrinsic, visceral sensation of being seen in our frailty is what Sartre refers to as shame. He uses this concept to demonstrate that other people exist.
But this seemed to be something that went beyond that. The act of judging oneself persists even in situations when there is no chance of societal judgment.
When we extrapolate a concept of how other people see us onto how we perceive ourselves, it is evident that we are doing so. For a more long-lasting and identity-level foundation, we take a social judgment that we observe and apply it to ourselves.
However, I believe that there is something more profound going on, which is even included in the question that is being asked, which is, “How do you see yourself?”
mostly because this assumes a divide, or a kind of introspection on one’s own part.
Having said that, all of this is, in a certain sense, perfectly acceptable. There is a certain level of self-awareness that is required for all spiritual traditions as well as psychological systems.
However, if you are reading this piece and are interested in how other people see themselves, then it is likely that your self-reflection contains something that is inherently critical at its core. You have turned against yourself, scrutinizing yourself for every single imperfection and inconsistency that you can find.
One thing to keep in mind, however, is that if you search for defects, you will only discover them. Not because the imperfections are reflected in the mirror, but rather because they are there in the look. mostly because when you seek imperfection, you look with judgment.
In addition, the intellect that is capable of passing judgment will never fail to discover anything to evaluate, since no one is even close to being flawless. Because there is no such thing as good or evil, but thinking makes it so, the mind that is capable of judgment will always discover something to judge. At this point, judgment has already been rendered, and it has been rendered on the side of the bad.
Therefore, when you look in the mirror, you shouldn’t be too concerned with what you see about yourself. Because this is the default mode of the world and this is the training that we have been subjected to, you should instead become conscious of the fact that the eyes with which you are seeing have been used to seeing with judgment.
As an alternative, you should start the gradual process of relaxing that stare and gazing at yourself with tenderness. Practice bringing more and more of yourself into loving awareness as you go through your day. Imagine a mother trussing her infant while holding the damaged bits of your psyche in your imagination. Affirmations should be kindly repeated to oneself, such as “May you be happy” and “May you be safe.” Yes, I adore you. Yes, I adore you. My love is for you.
It is important to keep in mind that beauty may vary from person to person. It is important to remind oneself once again how to see things.
