How Can I Assist My Young person with Gender Issues?
Having difficulties with your gender identity is not something you can pretend does not exist: This subject has received a great deal of attention in the media in recent years. Gender identity is a topic that most teenagers and young adults are familiar with, whether it’s about politicians forbidding individuals from using certain restrooms or reality television stars undergoing sex reassignment surgery, or anything in between.
You should be aware of the possibility that your kid attends school with someone who is publicly altering their gender identification. It’s even conceivable that your own adolescent is coping with similar issues as well. Even if you want to do all you can to support and understand your kid, this may be a topic you haven’t even anticipated having to deal with in your own household. Here are some suggestions on how you might assist your adolescent who is struggling with gender identity challenges.
It’s not uncommon for teenagers to have difficulties determining their gender identities.
For tweens and adolescents, gender labels are getting more and more popular and prevalent, and they are switching gender identities and pronouns on a regular basis. The fact that it has become customary does not always imply that it is standard practice. I have several dozen friends and acquaintances who are all related to my teenage children. In fact, I’m willing to guess that at least 60% of them (all females) now identify as one of the following categories:
- Feminine and masculine characteristics are present (they feel free to identify as one gender or the other at will)
- This is a non-binary slang expression (they believe they are neither 100 percent one gender nor the other)
- (They don’t identify with any one gender.)
- The cisgender person is a transgender individual (a person who identifies with the gender of their birth)
- A person who degenerates is referred to as a degenerator (only partially identify with one particular gender)
Among the many other phrases that have been coined are
The reason I sound irritated is because I really am frustrated. There is nothing we can do to change our gender.
The ability to do so is something that we are all born with. In addition, I am unconcerned if a guy wants to love another man or a woman, or whether a woman desires to love another woman. In contrast, I don’t get to wake up one day and decide to use they/them pronouns or to identify as gender flexible on the spur of the moment. A little about myself: I’m a man. Not a single word I say will alter that reality.
How Can I Assist My Young person with Gender Issues
Set create a family environment that is encouraging and supportive
Adolescents who are dealing with gender identity are in dire need of their parents’ affection and support. This is mainly due to the fact that the majority of youngsters want their parents’ endorsement.
Those who identify as members of the LGBTQ community are also more likely to commit suicide, mostly because they do not feel welcomed and are subjected to bullying, ostracization, and misinterpretation. If you as a parent do not understand what their adolescent is going through or feeling, it is critical that you express your support for them in whatever way they choose to express themselves.
The methods for doing this are many. Below, you will find some suggestions on how you may be helpful to your adolescent who is experiencing difficulties with gender identity.
Making the environment in your house a safe space is important. Slurs and demeaning comments should not be used in this environment.
That sort of conduct from your teen’s siblings, your extended relatives, or anybody else who comes into your house should not be tolerated.. Your kid should consider his or her home to be a secure haven from the outside world.
Maintain your composure – Don’t react too quickly, especially if you have unpleasant sentiments about this new discovery.
Prepare yourself by learning more about it. Get a better understanding of what being homosexual or transgender means to your adolescent, as well as some of the challenges that he or she may encounter along the way.
Investigate Your Alternatives. Available
There are a variety of options available to a youngster who is self-identifying as transgender or who is unsure whether or not they are biologically cisgendered. This may not be something that occurs throughout the adolescent years, even if their ultimate objective is to completely transition to the other gender.
While your kid may be ready to start taking hormones or to have surgery, now is a wonderful time to talk about the advantages and disadvantages of doing nothing and waiting for things to work themselves out. Arrange to see an expert in gender transitioning at your local medical center.
Many teenagers who are unsure of their gender identification may wish to experiment with wearing and behaving as though they were born in the other gender as a starting point. Instruct your adolescent that it is not necessary to choose between the two extremes. They may opt to start with tiny measures, such as allowing body hair to grow or wearing a bra, to see how they feel. Another possibility is that they will not have a strong preference for either gender.
People who express themselves in a gender fluid manner are those whose gender expression fluctuates. If you believe your adolescent needs to experiment with various sorts of gender expression in order to discover out who they truly are and what makes them happy, tell them you will be by their side throughout this time.
Consult with a professional if you need it.
Seeking expert assistance might be beneficial if you or your adolescent is having difficulty. A unique group of counselors is dedicated to guiding homosexual and transgender adolescents through the process of determining who they are and which gender they most strongly identify with. They may also assist parents and other family members in coping with their own sentiments as they go through the process of supporting their loved one’s recovery.
If you are having difficulty embracing your adolescent’s gender identity, a therapist may assist you in working through your feelings without having to bring them up in front of your teenager. Always keep in mind that, although your emotions are entirely acceptable, you must be incredibly supportive of your child during this trying period in his or her life.
Keep a close eye out for signs of depression or suicidal ideation.
Youth who are homosexual, bisexual, transgender, or who are questioning their gender identity have a four-fold higher risk of committing suicide than their cisgendered counterparts. You must be on the lookout for indicators of depression or suicide ideation or ideas, even if you are a very supportive parent and your kid has supportive peers. Consider the fact that kids who grow up in households that are not supportive have an eight-fold increased risk of committing suicide.
Examples of suicidal tendencies are as follows:
depression \hopelessness
Self-harming habits include letting go of goods and retreating from hobbies and people that were formerly enjoyable.
Consult with a professional immediately if you are concerned that your adolescent is contemplating suicide. Depending on the scenario, you might consult with his or her physician or, if the case is urgent, go to the nearest emergency department. Calling the National Suicide Prevention Lifeline at 1-800-273-8255 is another option.
Take Responsibility for Your Own Emotions
When their teenagers inform their parents that they are questioning their sexual identity, it is common for parents to experience a variety of emotions. Especially if you had a nagging feeling that your kid was suffering but weren’t sure why or to what degree, you could be relieved. Alternatively, you can be grateful that your adolescent decided to entrust you.
Additionally, you may be experiencing negative emotions such as despair, a sense of loss, or even rage. In addition to your other sentiments, you may be feeling guilty about your actions. All of this is typical and not out of the ordinary for people.
Time, chatting with friends or other parents who have gone through a similar situation, and obtaining professional therapy may all be beneficial. You may also join a support organization, like as PFLAG, which helps families deal when they are having difficulty accepting an LGBTQ family member or member of their own sexual orientation or gender identity.
In the case of a teenager who is battling with his or her gender identity, it might be difficult to know what to say and do as a parent. The ability to maintain open lines of communication and to seek assistance not just for your adolescent but also for yourself will assist you all in coping with, and ultimately thriving in, this new reality.
Is it possible to have a phase that is not binary?
Non-binary is a made-up word that has been debunked by the individual who made the initial claim to be non-binary in the first place. The trend and the phase are unquestionably anchored in no true scientific or medical condition, and they may very well be considered a phase in their own right. It goes without saying that the longer a teenager (or adult) hangs on to a negative picture, the more likely it is to become ingrained in their minds.
“Fake it ’til you make it,” as they say in the business world. And if you keep doing something for a long enough period of time, you’ll ultimately believe it and won’t be able to tell the difference. During a recent conversation with my eldest daughter, we got into an intriguing topic.
“Nonbinary Korean” is a term used to describe a lady called Oli London, who identifies as such. This lady even went to the extent of undergoing cosmetic surgery in order to seem more Korean. She, on the other hand, was born in England and does not have Korean heritage.
My daughter was berating her, arguing that “you can’t simply decide you want to be a different race than the one you were born into.” She was right. She didn’t seem to mind when I reminded her that it wasn’t all that different from choosing to be a different gender than the one to which she was born. I didn’t persuade her with my reasoning, but it did provide her with something to consider. Of course, going back a few years, we have the example of Rachel Dolezal, an ex-NAACP leader who was white but “identified” as black despite the fact that she was really white.
For the sake of describing her, they even coined the word “transracial.”
In summary, we are all born in a specific manner, and although we may sympathize with a culture, race, or gender that is different from our own, and even go to a different region to indoctrinate ourselves with that cultural feature, we do not have the ability to just switch from the way we were born.
In the words of Lady Gaga, we were “born this way.”
So, who is the person who coined the phrase “non-binary”?
The phrase “non-binary” was coined by James Shupe, who was the first person to use it. Having experienced physical and sexual abuse as a youngster, he initially came out as trans in 2013, then as non-binary in 2016. He now lives in Los Angeles. However, by 2019, he had returned to the gender of a man, and he has subsequently described the term non-binary as “psychologically damaging legal fiction.”
So non-binary was a word coined by a man who had been sexually molested and was quite perplexed.
It is not a genuine phrase in science or medicine, and it should not be used. Shupe says he was suffering from psychosis at the time he used the word “non-binary,” and that he was subsequently pushed and encouraged to do so by therapists who were too worried about political correctness and LGTBQ backlash if they didn’t fully accept his psychotic ideas.
So make no doubt about that. According to the individual who coined the phrase, the thought is diametrically opposite. And we, as loving parents, should be just as concerned. You may read the whole of his tale, written in his own words, here. That does not exclude us from loving our children, regardless of whether or not they identify as non-binary.
But we may still love and support them, even if we disagree with their positions. And, as always, it is our responsibility as parents to teach our children.
It is possible that they will disagree with us. And they may even get enraged or believe we are bigots (which we are not) for refusing to accept a phrase that was coined and has now been rejected by the man who used it. But we can’t simply bury our heads in the sand because we’re concerned about being politically acceptable.
What does it imply if my daughter identifies as non-binary or transgender?
A daughter who identifies as non-binary feels she is neither completely masculine nor completely female. Technically, it is included in the wider category of transgendered persons, however there are many trans and non-binary people who disagree with this classification.
Consequently, it is possible that she dresses in boyish attire on occasion (not unlike what we called tomboys when I was a kid). However, she may choose to dress up in a more dramatic manner, as my eldest daughter does, by donning artificial eyelashes and a lot of makeup. Consequently, it is quite disorganized. She may also choose to use the pronouns they/them rather than her and she, and she may reject the pronouns her and she.
Of course, some non-binary children need hormones in order to biologically modify their thoughts about their natal gender, and this is understandable.
As parents, it is vital that we refrain from engaging in such behavior. Once individuals reach the age of majority, they are free to follow their interests. Their brains are still growing up to the age of 25, and it would be awful if we were to interfere with their natural growth before that with drugs or surgery. Some misinformed parents, on the other hand, continue to do this.
Is it possible to go through a period of gender confusion?
Gender confusion may be a passing phase, unless it is accompanied by actual gender dysphoria or hermaphroditism, in which case it should be treated as such. Every aspect of a teen’s capacity to perceive themselves, as well as their own opinions on gender and sexuality, is influenced by the media, social media, and peer pressure at school.
As a result, it’s possible that they’re only going through a phase.
However, as previously said, there is also the difficulty of having done it for such a long period of time that they are unsure of how to return without upsetting their buddy group or feeling like a fraud.
As a result, we, as parents, play an important role.
We have to be there for them and love them without reservation. Our obligation to them is to always be honest with them and to speak the truth in all circumstances. We must continue to teach them, just like we did when they were four years old and we worked with them on reading and spelling.
They just respond more aggressively today. But we can’t simply give up because it’s tough or unpopular any more.
What percentage of the population suffers from gender dysphoria?
Gender dysphoria is a condition that affects around 1.7 million persons on Earth. For males, this represents one person out of every 3,800 people, while for women, this represents one person out of every 5,200 people.
Another point to mention is that the same research found a 20 percent rise in the number of cases between 1980 and 2015. However, given the fact that most of us know just a few hundred individuals, it means that no one reading this should know more than one person who is experiencing a genuine gender identity crisis. And yet, I can probably name a dozen of my daughter’s pals off the top of my head.
That tells me that something else is going on in addition to actual gender dysphoria in this situation. It’s also important to note that the research found a 20 percent rise in the number of cases since 1980. As the entire population grows, this does not reflect the total number of people, which would make sense. No, it is a 20 percent increase in the number of persons who are infected with the virus.
So, what is causing the quick increase? We don’t have a definitive answer, just as we don’t have one for autism rates. We just have questions and conspiracies to contend with.
What is undeniable, however, is that human exposure to EDCs (Endocrine-disrupting chemicals) has increased dramatically in recent decades.
Furthermore, according to a research released by the National Library of Medicine in the United States, “high-level prenatal exposure to recognized EDCs… is linked with gender-related consequences.”
Furthermore, people who have been subjected to “pesticides,” such as DDT and DDE, have been demonstrated to have been “feminized.”
This isn’t shocking to me, as someone who has worked for Whole Foods Market for more than two decades and who is inherently wary of chemicals and pesticides in general.
But I’m guessing it is for a lot of you. And keep in mind that the paper was published on a government website in the United States, not on the website of some backwoods conspiracy nut.
Is gender dysphoria the same as gender confusion, and how do they differ?
No. Gender dysphoria and gender confusion are not the same thing. Gender dysphoria is a medical disorder in which a person is born in a biological body that is the opposite gender from the one in which they actually feel. Gender confusion may arise as a result of peer pressure and social media pressure, and it can gradually go away over a period of time.
In brief, someone suffering from real gender dysphoria may believe from an early age that they were meant to be the opposite gender from their biological gender. And although they may self-medicate in maturity in order to mask their anguish, they will never be able to stop feeling this way throughout their lives.
And many, but not all, may use hormones and/or undergo surgical procedures to change their gender identity to match the gender they feel they should be.
When it comes to gender confusion, which affects a large number of kids and tweens right now, it is more about trying to fit in, not wanting to be shunned, and buying into a narrative being promoted by the media and social media platforms.
And although not everyone will be able to move on from this “period,” many will.
Finally, some last ideas
Last but not least, I adore my girls no matter what they want to name themselves.
And no title or pronoun will ever be able to alter that. Having said that, they are young ladies.
And, unless you are born as a hermaphrodite (in which case sections of both sex organs are present at birth), gender is not genuinely fluid; you are either a boy or a girl, regardless of your gender identity.
It’s a free nation, so if someone wants to refer to oneself as the other, go ahead. Reality, on the other hand, remains unchanged. And I believe that when we as parents and the media attempt to distort truth for the sake of political correctness, we are doing a great disservice to our children.
We may hold on to what we believe to be true while yet loving our children unreservedly at the same time. Keep in mind that unconditional love does not imply that we must agree with all that they think. Do you believe your daughter’s disorientation is a symptom of a more serious problem?
While gender confusion and self-discovery are typical among teenagers, there are situations when it is something more serious, and they may need professional assistance to get through this difficult period.
Fortunately, the professionals at PrideCounseling have worked with thousands of children just like yours and mine. Make use of our matching service to find certified therapists who specialize in dealing with teenagers who identify as members of the LGBT+ community.
Inform them of the problems and warning flags you are seeing. Once you have given your approval, they will connect with your kid for online treatment that they may access from their smartphone or computer. And, of course, they’ll alert you if they detect something potentially dangerous.
