Honesty
When it comes to moral character, honesty or truthfulness refers to good and virtuous characteristics such as integrity, truthfulness, straightforwardness (including straightforwardness of action), and the lack of deception, cheating, stealing and other similar behaviors. Being trustworthy, loyal, fair, and truthful are all characteristics of honesty.
What's the point of being honest if being honest doesn't pay?
What’s the point of being honest if it’s not going to benefit you?
We are placing our bets on the logical rationale for trusting the process. However, despite our conviction that honesty is the greatest strategy, we were skeptical of economists, ethicists, and business wise men and women’s arguments. Extensive interviews were conducted in the hopes of obtaining facts supporting their hypotheses and so encouraging greater standards of corporate behavior.
Our favorite hypotheses, to to our amazement, were shown to be untruthful. We discovered that treachery may be profitable. True, there is no strong economic motivation to speak the truth or to keep one’s word; but, in the actual world, punishment for those who are deceitful is neither rapid nor certain.
Actually, being honest is mostly a matter of personal preference…. People in business often persuade themselves that doing good will benefit them in the long term. Although this belief seems to be supported by certain evidence, it lacks logical support. Trust based on such self-delusion would disintegrate in the face of temptation if there were no morals, no fundamental preference for good over evil.
The majority of us choose virtue because we want to believe in ourselves and be respected and believed in by others. Whenever the situation calls for it, hard-headed businesspeople are known to disregard (or fake) their dollar and cent estimates to ensure that they can fulfill their promise.
Consequently, we should be pleased. This is a system in which individuals are honest because they choose to be, rather than because they are required to be so by law. Trust founded on moral principles also has significant material benefits. By doing so, we are able to participate in large and interesting projects that we would not be able to do if we were just relying on financial incentives.
Experts in economics and game theory claim that trust is established in the marketplace via retribution and reputation. It is probable that if you betray a trust, your victim will seek retribution, and others will refrain from doing business with you, at the very least on favorable terms. Prosperity awaits the one who has earned a reputation for integrity. Because of this, profit maximizers are trustworthy.
Until you check for real instances, this seems to be credible. Even if there are a few cases that seem to highlight the terrible repercussions of exploiting trust, the evidence that betrayal may pay appears to be convincing.
EF Hutton was brought down by its check-kiting fraud, according to the moralists’ usual storyline.
1 Shearson acquired Hutton when the company’s image and finances were severely damaged. Hutton was forced to sell itself to Shearson after the company’s reputation and finances were destroyed.
Another well-known example is Exxon’s Valdez oil spill. By arguing that a large leak was “extremely improbable,” Exxon and seven other oil firms convinced the community of Valdez to approve their tanker terminal. Using their 1,800-page contingency plan, they were able to assure that any leak would be contained within hours. Under reality, when Exxon’s supertanker blew forth more than 240,000 barrels of oil, the cleaning equipment promised in the cleanup plan was not ready to respond. Was it expensive? Newly released estimates indicate that Exxon’s losses might surpass $2 billion, and the company risks significant constraints on its activities in Alaska as a result of the disaster.
Nevertheless, what do these stories demonstrate? It should be noted that check-kiting was merely one aspect of the pervasive mismanagement that afflicted Hutton and eventually led to the company’s bankruptcy. Companies that have been conducted incompetently have gone bankrupt before. Even though Exxon’s lack of preparation cost the company dearly, many choices are made that are detrimental to the company. If there was a minimal chance of a spill occurring, was skimping on the promised cleaning equipment truly a poor business choice at the time it was made?
The abundance of evidence against trust is much more harmful to the moralists’ case. We can discover countless examples in which dishonesty was obviously rewarded, as opposed to the few unclear accounts of treachery being punished.
When Philippe Kahn spoke with Inc. magazine about how his firm, Borland International, got its start by tricking an ad salesperson for BYTE magazine, he seemed to take pleasure in describing the scheme.
Inc.: According to legend, a single advertisement began the firm, and we wouldn’t be sitting here talking about it if it hadn’t been for this advertisement. What percentage of it is true?
Kahn: In fact, the firm was founded by a full-page advertisement that appeared in the November 1983 edition of BYTE magazine. What if things didn’t work out? I’d be stuck with no other options.
What, exactly, was the method by which you paid for the advertisement, given that you were so broke?
Kahn: We were successful in convincing the salesperson to agree to our conditions, let’s just say. The reason we wanted to appear exclusively in BYTE and not in any of the other microcomputer publications was because BYTE is geared toward programmers, and that’s exactly who we wanted to reach with our message. It was just too expensive for us at the time. So we decided the only way forward was to persuade them to provide us credit conditions in some kind.
Inc.: They did it, didn’t you know?
So they didn’t make an offer, did they? To preparation for the ad salesman’s arrival, we produced a chart with what we thought was our media strategy for the computer magazines (we were operating out of two tiny rooms, but I had employed additional staff to give the impression of a bustling, venture-backed firm). BYTE had been crossed out on the chart. The salesperson came and we made sure the phones were ringing and the extras were running around in circles. This chart was in front of him, and I moved it out of the way because he felt he wasn’t meant to be looking at it. “Hold on, can we get you into BYTE?” he inquired. “We don’t really want to be in your book, and the audience you’re targeting isn’t the ideal one for us,” I said. In desperation, he said, “You’ve got to try.” “To be honest with you, our media strategy is complete, and we just cannot afford it.” I said. Consequently, he proposed favorable conditions in exchange for our allowing him to run the race just once or twice.
We had hoped to sell $20,000 worth of software and at the very least cover the cost of the advertisement in the newspaper. We were able to sell goods valued $150,000. Even though it was a danger at the time, it is now a humorous tale to tell. 2
In addition, professional sports provide proof. When asked about the instance of Rick Pitino, who had just announced his intention to resign as coach of the New York Knicks basketball club despite having more than three years remaining on his contract, one response mentioned the example of the former Kentucky basketball coach. Pitino departed to coach at the University of Kentucky, according to the responder (a school of higher learning, that like many others, is a party in breaking contracts).
According to a New York Times article published the week prior, Pitino has never broken a contract in his professional career. Nevertheless, he is 32 years old and has worked at five different places.. What he failed to mention is the fact that he has never fulfilled a contract before this one. In order to avoid having a dissatisfied coach, the schools always let him go.
“Every year, professional athletes do the same same act.” Following a successful first year, they threaten to terminate their employment unless the contract is renegotiated. What’s more, they get their way, which is just as dumb.”
When compared to the vagueness of the Hutton and Exxon instances, the evident causation in the Kahn and Pitino cases is eye-poppingly obvious. Kahn’s success was largely dependent on his ability to deceive the BYTE sales representative. Borland International would very probably have gone bankrupt if it hadn’t used deception to its advantage. Aside from that, professional athletes and coaches stand to benefit financially from the termination of their contracts (a figure with several zeros).
In the long run, what are the prospects? Is there a point at which treason is rewarded? There is nothing in the record that implies this is the case, either. Many of today’s blue chip corporations were formed at the turn of the century under conditions that bordered on securities fraud, according to some estimates. Those who promoted them received substantial monetary compensation at the time, and their wealth were passed down through multiple generations of their families. Although the Industrial Revolution rendered Machiavelli’s remark, “Men seldom climb from poor condition to high position without committing either force or deception,” somewhat outdated, it did not completely eliminate it.
In the absence of trust, power may serve as a viable replacement. As a result of their deception and inadequate contracts, Kahn and Coach Pitino should be forced to bear the consequences of their actions: Borland should be denied the ability to advertise since it has been reviled by its victims and a fair society. No whistle should be blown by Pitino under any circumstances. They, on the other hand, continue to thrive. Because of their ineffectiveness as trust-enforcing mechanisms, both reputation and revenge are used.
It seems that power, defined as the capacity to inflict enormous damage or great good to others, may cause widespread forgetfulness. It is appropriate to give fair consideration to Borland International’s substantial advertising expenditure. In the short term, its early deception is recalled as a harmless joke. Aside from his record of winning basketball games, Pitino’s other notable accomplishment is departing teams in the middle of a campaign.
Several of our respondents said that prestigious New York department shops are known for breaking their commitments to suppliers with abandon.
“You submit a bill to the department shop for $55,000, and they pay you $38,000,” says the clerk. “Here is a $11,000 penalty for being two days late; here are the transportation tax and a dockage charge…” they say if you challenge it. You failed to adhere to Clause 42, Section 3C of our shipping guidelines. ‘You made the mistake of using the incorrect carrier.'” They’ll phone in the order and send the 600-page confirmation paperwork later, and they’ll complain you didn’t follow our request half of the time.
It’s a nightmare to shop in depar
tment shops! It is now the financial types that are in charge, and the merchants have been sent to the curb. The man who has been putting you down all year goes to his supervisor at the end of the year and brags about the sort of refunds he received for freight reduction—$482,000. ‘I saved this much money by delaying payments on average of 22 days from my predecessor when the sum was this high.’
Suppliers, on the other hand, continue to follow the commands of their tormentors
“Don’t tell me that department shops will go out of business as a result of the way they treat their suppliers!” That is not anything I believe. They have an excessive amount of power; they screw one individual, and the rest of the world is standing in line to take another swing at them.”
It is the students on Tiananmen Square who have shown heroic opposition to an oppressive force, not the businesspeople in the capitalist society that the students are risking their lives to imitate. Even when dealing with abusers of power and trust, businesspeople do not adhere to their own principles. As we were taught, we would have to adapt. We would go out of business if we only did business with consumers who shared our ethical ideals.
Our interviewee, a real estate entrepreneur, was unapologetic:
“These people are complete whores. They have no shame.” Unless it is in their best interests, they will do business with someone they know they cannot trust. ‘Be cautious, he’s dishonest; he’s not dependable; and he’ll attempt to get out,’ they may advise their attorneys about the defendant.
Occasionally, the mighty force others to make a decision. Regardless of how poorly the auto parts supplier has been treated in the past or expects to be handled in the future, it is necessary to cooperate with the Big Three. Fashion suppliers think they are obligated to take a risk on department shops that are harsh to their customers. Trust has been completely replaced by power in this situation.
Usually, though, authority isn’t nearly so absolute, and a certain amount of trust is required in order to maintain successful commercial partnerships. Pitino has showed amazing ability in reviving basketball teams, but he isn’t the only coach who is ready to take on a new job. Though Borland International’s business is valuable, it cannot make or break a computer magazine on its own merits. Even individuals with minimal authority, however, can overcome a bad track record of dependability and integrity. One of the reasons behind this is cognitive inertia, which is the propensity to seek out information that confirms one’s ideas while avoiding information that would contradict them.
Consider the enraged letters that the mail fraud section of the United States Postal Service receives every year from the victims of the phony organizations that it exposes as an example. Donors, it seems, are dissatisfied with the fact that they are unable to continue making money to a cause in which they believe. They wish to avoid material that suggests that they have placed their confidence in a scam.
When the predicted benefit is significant and avoidance becomes very strong, reference checking is thrown to the wind. Even the most damaged reputations shine brilliantly in the eyes of those who have been blinded by avarice.
Cleaning out customer after client has helped several commodities brokers fund their yachts and other luxury items. Each new doctor or dentist who is promised the world is completely oblivious of and unconcerned about the destiny of his or her predecessor. Such investors wish to trust in the fantastic profits that have been promised by the broker. Their fantasies have been constructed on sand, and any references or other reality checks would be detrimental to their happiness. Even if authoritative sources claim that the retail commodities brokerage company wipes away the capital of 70% of its consumers every year, the firm may thrive in this environment.
There is no reason why ignorant medical practitioners who dabble with pork bellies should be the only ones on the lookout for research that confirms their beliefs. Earlier this month, the Wall Street Journal published an exposé on how a young businessman, 32, executed a massive fraud on sophisticated financial organizations such as Citibank, the Bank of New England, and a number of Wall Street corporations. According to a Salomon Brothers team that undertook due diligence on the rising star, he is a man of high moral and ethical standards. After a few months had passed…
No matter how many instances of bad faith have been made public, hard-nosed businesses will continue to look for reasons to put their confidence in others. “It’s not his fault,” they’ll explain, in the manner of the legendary “other lady.” Therefore, Oscar Wyatt’s Coastal Corporation may walk away from its gas-supply contracts4 and then issue billions of dollars’ worth of junk bonds, despite the fact that the litigation that followed have not yet been resolved in their favor. Tempted by large returns, junk bond investors choose to assume that their connection will be different from that of other investors: When energy costs climbed, Wyatt was forced to terminate his contracts; and a junk bond is much more, shall we say, binding than a standard supply contract.
We may suppose that every new Pitino employer considers that the previous one made a mistake by hiring Pitino. Their connection will continue for the rest of their lives.
Ambiguity and complexity may also make reputational enforcement more difficult to enforce. When we put our faith in people and believe that they will follow through on their promises, we are relying on their integrity, inherent ability, and fortunate external conditions at the same time. Consequently, when a trust seems to have been violated, there might be so much uncertainty that even the injured parties are unable to determine what occurred. Was the failure to deliver due to ill faith, incompetence, or unforeseen circumstances that rendered it impossible to complete the task at hand? No one has any idea. However, without this information, we are unable to establish in which regard someone has shown to be untrustworthy: in terms of fundamental integrity, susceptibility to temptation, or realistic expectations when making commitments.
We may learn a lot from the following example, in which we hear the buyer of a firm who was duped by the seller’s representations:
In the words of the vendor, “We have a technology that is going to be around for a long time.” ‘We have complete control of the market.’ We had a lot of fun with this man, which was great. He’s from the neighborhood, and he knew my father. He’s a terrific man to chat to, and he has a lot of interesting things to tell.
“He was able to deceive us, our banks, and a mezzanine lender, and he ended up making a tidy profit on the transaction.” After then, the firm was on its way out. The amusing part is that he later acquired the firm back from us, invested a significant amount of his own money in it, and has yet to turn it around. I really don’t understand what was going on.
The only explanation I can think of is that he believed his own tale and believed it so strongly that he purchased the firm back.” He was already independently rich as a result of previous transaction, and I believe he wanted to demonstrate to the world that he was a fantastic businessman and that we had just messed up the company. After all, what would it have mattered to him if it had been a con artist?”
When even victims have difficulties determining whether and to what degree someone has violated a trust, it is not unexpected that it may be almost impossible for a third party to determine whether or not someone has broken their trust.
The ambiguity of communication adds to the difficulties of communicating effectively. Because of shame or fear of a lawsuit, aggrieved parties may choose to downplay or conceal previous unpleasantnesses. Alternatively, they may magnify the villainy of others while downplaying their own innocence. If the victims cannot be believed to be completely honest and impartial, then the judgements based on their experiences become inaccurate, and the correctness of the accused transgressor’s reputation becomes unknown.
Another element that helps to shield the treacherous from their bad image is that it is typically advantageous to accept people at their word. Over time, businesspeople come to realize that the phrase “innocent until proved guilty” is a reasonable operating guideline and that it is really not worth getting caught up on other people’s criminal records.
The assumption that people are trustworthy, at the very least in their original intentions, is a reasonable course of action. The ordinary borrower does not plot multimillion-dollar schemes, most instructors do their best to see their contracts through to completion, and most buyers do not “forget” about their suppliers’ invoices or invent excuses to levy fines on their suppliers.
Even our pessimistic real estate developer shared his thoughts with us:
“I believe that the vast majority of individuals are naturally honest. In each business, in any field, it is only the tails, the extremities of the bell-shaped curve, that are dishonest. This is true in every field. So now it’s just a matter of getting along with them.”
Another responder agreed, saying:
“I have a tendency to accept people at their word unless proved differently, and this works more often than not for me. Even if it doesn’t work with a blackguard and a scoundrel, the question remains: “How many total blackguards and scoundrels exist?”
Mistrust has the potential to become a self-fulfilling prophesy. People are neither solely saints or sinners, and only a small number of people adhere to an absolute moral rule. Most people react to their surroundings, and their integrity and trustworthiness may be influenced by how they are treated as much as by their inherent character traits. Initiating a relationship with the expectation that the other party would attempt to seduce you may lead to the other party attempting to seduce you.
It is also possible to make sound business decisions by overlooking prior mistakes. Individuals and organizations evolve with time. The odds are high, though, that once Borland International got off the ground, Kahn would never pull another quick one on another ad seller again. Today’s exemplary citizen may have been yesterday’s sharp merchant or robber baron, and vice versa.
Trust breakers are not only unaffected by their negative reputations, but they are also seldom subjected to vengeance by those they have wronged. A lot of the same considerations apply. Consider the concept of power: fighting a more powerful transgressor is deemed reckless.
“It all depends on how high up you are in the pecking order,” we were informed. “If you are a vendor and your consumer fails to meet his or her obligations, you generally do not react. And if you are an employee and your employer fails to fulfill a commitment, you are unlikely to retaliate against them.”
When power isn’t enough to shield you from reprisal, convenience and cognitive inertia are often sufficient. Getting even may be costly, and simply the thought of broken trusts can be devastating for some people. According to the corporate world, “forget and go on” seems to be the slogan of the day.
Businesspeople regard retribution to be a waste of time and resources since they have a large number of tasks on their hands and hope to continually discover new chances to pursue. As a result, the harm caused by any one violation of trust is seen to be little, and vengeance is considered to be a diversion from more productive endeavors.
Respondents informed us that retaliation is a luxury that they could not afford.
“It’s impossible to get obsessed with retaliation. It will have a negative impact on everything else. You will take your frustrations out on your children at home, and you will take your frustrations out on your wife. “You’re going to have a bad year in business.”
This is something that comes with experience: retribution results in a twofold loss. Your money has been stolen, and now time is being stolen from you.”
“If you bite me once, it’s your fault; if you bite me again, it’s my responsibility… I won’t have anything to do with you if you bite me twice, and I’m not going to bite back since I have more important things to do with my time. I have no intention of bringing a lawsuit just for the purpose of getting even with you.”
Only individuals who are beyond their prime and feel that their life’s work is being endangered aggressively strive to retaliate against their adversaries. In general, our interviews revealed that entrepreneurs would prefer to swap sides rather than fight. An employee who was detected stealing from the company is discreetly fired. Customers that are constantly delaying or skipping payments are dismissed whenever it is possible. There’s no hassle or fuss.
Our respondents also seemed to be extraordinarily open to forgetting their hurts and mending their damaged relationships. A supplier has been dropped, and an employee or sales representative has been terminated. A few months or years later, the parties try again, this time evoking some actual or imagined shift in circumstances or change of heart on their side. “The employee was dealing with a lot of personal issues.” “The company’s sales representative went above and beyond his brief.” “A new management team has taken over at the firm.” Many second opportunities seem to be facilitated by factors such as convenience and cognitive inertia.
What about the alleged advantages of retribution, do you think they are valid? Game theorists contend that
“If you bite me once, it’s your fault; if you bite me again, it’s my responsibility… I won’t have anything to do with you if you bite me twice, and I’m not going to bite back since I have more important things to do with my time. I have no intention of bringing a lawsuit just for the purpose of getting even with you.”
Only individuals who are beyond their prime and feel that their life’s work is being endangered aggressively strive to retaliate against their adversaries. In general, our interviews revealed that entrepreneurs would prefer to swap sides rather than fight. An employee who was detected stealing from the company is discreetly fired. Customers that are constantly delaying or skipping payments are dismissed whenever it is possible. There’s no hassle or fuss.
Our respondents also seemed to be extraordinarily open to forgetting their hurts and mending their damaged relationships. A supplier has been dropped, and an employee or sales representative has been terminated. A few months or years later, the parties try again, this time evoking some actual or imagined shift in circumstances or change of heart on their side. “The employee was dealing with a lot of personal issues.” “The company’s sales representative went above and beyond his brief.” “A new management team has taken over at the firm.” Many second opportunities seem to be facilitated by factors such as convenience and cognitive inertia.
What about the alleged advantages of retribution, do you think they are valid? According to game theorists, retribution sends a signal to others that you are not to be trifled with. It is our opinion that this signal has some significance when damage is sustained outside of a trustworthy relationship, such as in situations of patent infringement or software piracy. Nevertheless, when there is a deep and trustworthy connection, such as that which occurs, for example with an employee, the unavoidable uncertainty as to who was at fault often distorts the signal that revenge sends out. Without compelling evidence of one-sided wrongdoing, the retaliator may gain a reputation for vindictiveness, which may frighten even respectable men and women away from forming strong connections with one another in future.
Even the cathartic joy that comes with getting even seems to be limited. At the very least in economic transactions, avenging lost dignity is no longer acceptable. At odds with the Venetian trader of Shakespeare’s day, the contemporary businessperson isn’t interested in seeking vengeance just for its own sake, and in fact, finds the desire for retribution to be unprofessional and irresponsible.
“There is such a perfect connection in my mind between the best interests of my firm and what I wish to achieve that I will not allow anything formal to be done out of spite.” In the event that I am unable to justify (retaliation) and run it through my computer brain, it will be consigned to my journal and not be considered a business activity.”
If we said that honesty had no value or that treachery is never punished, we would be guilty of great exaggeration. In fact, trustworthy conduct may safeguard you from losing your position of authority and being targeted by unseen snipers. However, these safeguards are intangible, and their monetary worth does not provide a convincing argument for the integrity of a company.
A strong track record may help to mitigate the effects of losing power. What happens if you quit being a successful coach or if your software is no longer in demand? It is possible that long-suppressed memories of prior abuse may return to the surface, and that former victims will band together to take you down.
A deal maker referenced the demise of an investment bank that had been the only source of funding for certain types of deals in the past as an example of what may happen.
It was well known that they would discuss the conditions of an agreement just to modify them once it came time to close the deal.” Our industry was well aware that this was what was to be expected, and our employees had no option but to accept it. People are fleeing to other financial institutions now that the bank has gone into legal difficulties and there are alternative sources of funding available. People took advantage of the first chance they had to abandon ship—and they did it with a certain degree of joy. They are not reaping any benefits from their clientele’s goodwill since, while they were in complete control, they screwed everyone.”
Another entrepreneur attributed his long-term success to his reputation as a trustworthy business partner:
“The quality of my (product) line is the single most critical factor contributing to our success.” However, we would not have lasted if it had not been for my honesty, since our lines were not always extremely profitable. Parabola curves exist in all companies, and people still backed me despite the fact that we were at rock bottom. They did so because they believed in me.”
It is also possible that being trustworthy will give instant protection from unseen sniping. When abuse of power results in the loss of trust, victims often attempt to reclaim it in ways that are not evident to the abuser: “I’m not in business only to earn a profit. Clients that try to take advantage of me have their costs increased.” “The best way to level the score with a giant corporation is to sell more to them.”
On rare occasions, sniping might pose a danger to the authority that it is rebelling against. For example, the high-handedness of department shops has resulted in the emergence of a new class of competitors: the deep discounter of designer clothing.
“Normally, manufacturers don’t want to sell their products at such low costs to individuals like us,” explains one of the discounters in question. “However, our firm has prospered because department shops have been systematically hurting their suppliers, particularly after all of those leveraged buyouts.” At the same time, the manufacturers have discovered that we are respectful of their property. We adhere to the highest standards of integrity. We make good on our promises and pay on time. If they ask us not to market a certain item in a particular location, we will not comply. No penalties will be applied if they make an honest error throughout the shipping process.
It has been suggested that department shops set up subsidiary businesses in an attempt to compete with us, but they do not comprehend the discount industry.” Anyone may install a power outlet. “What truly counts is that the suppliers have faith in us.”
When making a reasonable business decision about whether or not to lie or maintain a promise, none of these advantages can be readily considered. Sniping is impossible to detect; the sniper will only fire rounds that are impossible to measure or see. Is it possible to put a monetary value on the financial implications of suppliers that refuse to take your phone calls or transport hot products to your rivals before you?
Even more difficult to estimate is the monetary worth of protection against the loss of one’s authority. Even more difficult than predicting the type of divine vengeance is determining the likelihood that your fortunes will shift at some unknown point in the future, at which point people may attempt to bring you some unnamed damage. Without any doubt, the hazy future costs of breaking an unpleasant pledge pale in comparison to the definite and immediate cash rewards that result from doing the right thing today. At any appropriate discount rate, the net present values must be in the negative direction of the obligation to pay.
Given all of this, it is reasonable to predict a high number of breaches of trust. While most entrepreneurs are not so principled as to boycott prominent trust violators, they do make an effort to honor their commitments the majority of the time. Even if we account for the possibility of convenient forgetting, we can’t help but be influenced by statements like this:
“I’ve been working in this industry for 40 years. I’ve sold two businesses, I’ve gone public myself, and I’ve dealt with a variety of other transactions, so I’m not a complete newbie, please understand. However, I can’t recall a single instance in which someone took advantage of me. “I believe that when I was younger and more ignorant about many things, I was underpaid for the job that I did, but it was a valuable learning experience.”
We are not engulfed by treachery because people explain consistency by inflating its economic importance, which is one of the reasons behind this.
This task will cost me a million dollars to finish since the costs have been increasing. But if I don’t, my reputation will be tarnished and no one would want to do business with me ever again.
In the event that I sell this chemical for an exhorbitant price when there is a scarcity, I will make a killing.” However, if I charge my clients the list price, they will be more likely to do the right thing by me when there is a glut.”
In the same way that individuals who trust look for justifications for the risks they are willing to take, those who are called upon to maintain a tough pledge look for justifications even when the concrete figures go in the other direction. In corporate folklore, trustworthiness has reached the stature of “strategic focus” and “sustainable competitive advantage,” implying that it is a credible (though unverified) indicator of long-term economic value.
But what is the reason for its establishment? Why do businessmen and women want to think that being trustworthy pays off, despite the fact that there is a great deal of evidence to the contrary? The solution is firmly rooted in the area of social and moral conduct, rather than in financial markets or economics.
The businesses we spoke with placed a high value on the respect they received from their family, friends, and the larger community. This was important to them because they took pleasure in their excellent names, not because they were looking for some vague financial reward. Even more importantly, since outsiders are unable to quickly determine integrity, entrepreneurs seem to be directed by their inner voices, or their consciences. When we showed our respondents examples of instances in which betrayal seemed to have paid off, we received reactions such as: “It doesn’t matter how much money they earned. “What is right is right, and what is wrong is wrong.”
“Does that make a difference? They may be wealthy in monetary terms but impoverished in terms of their own personal ideals and understanding of what life is all about. “I don’t evaluate people by their bank accounts; instead, I assess them by their actions and how they respond.”
“I can only speak for myself, and my word is the most important thing in my life, and my credibility as a person is crucial to me. ” All of our other accomplishments are really incidental.”
It is impossible to overstate the significance of moral and social considerations in business. A selective memory and a thorough screening of the facts may aid in the maintenance of the illusion of lucrative virtue, but the moral foundation of trust is the basic foundation of trust. We follow through on our commitments because we feel it is moral to do so, not because it is profitable for us. Cynics may reject the emotions we heard as mere posturing, and it is true that performance does not always meet expectations when they are high. However, we can’t explain why trust is the foundation of so many relationships other than through the lens of conscience.
At first, these revelations were upsetting to us. Is it possible to live in a society where betrayal pays because the typical businessperson is unable to challenge oppressive authority and tolerates dishonesty? That couldn’t possibly be proper or efficient, and the system needed to be improved! After more consideration, however, we came to the conclusion that this arrangement was satisfactory from both a moral and a material standpoint.
The moral benefits are obvious. If ill faith and evil were not monetarily profitable, the concepts of trust and, more generally, of virtue would be rendered meaningless. If prosperity resulted naturally from honest dealing, we would only need to discuss conflicts between the long term and the short term, folly and wisdom, high discount rates and low discount rates, and so on. We would be concerned simply with the good sense of others, rather than with their honesty. The lack of a predicted financial gain is what distinguishes honesty as a moral attribute that people hold in high regard.
It is also very beneficial economically to place trust in others based on morality rather than self-interest. Consider the opposite, in which terror serves to maintain people’s faith in one another.
One may imagine a little universe in which those who are untrustworthy would suffer definite vengeance, and where everyone knows (and keeps a close watch on!) everyone else. A hamlet, in fact, that is highly skeptical of not just commodities dealers, but also of all outsiders, immigrants, and innovators of any kind, including foreigners.
There are no nuances or ambiguities in this case. The occupants only trust one another in transactions in which the obligations are clearly defined—”deliver the diamonds to Point A, bring back cash”—and the consequences of trust violations are well defined as well. They are not willing to take risks on initiatives that may fail due to a tangle of factors such as bad faith, ineptitude, overconfidence, or just plain poor luck.
This universe is filled with a gloomy sense of doom. Opportunities seem to be limited, and defeats appear to be inevitable. In this case, the operative premise is “You can’t afford to get taken in even once.” “When in doubt, don’t do anything.”
Likewise, there are no second chances in this world of ours. Watson, Sr., who had served time in prison, could not have been allowed to establish the IBM corporation. Federal Express would never be granted credit again if it defaulted on one of its loan agreements before the due date. The rules are simple: an eye for an eye, and a tooth for a tooth, as the saying goes. Either you kill or you get killed.
It is possible to live in little, confined, tit-for-tat worlds. When promises are violated, trust is self-reinforcing because retribution is swift—as in price-fixing rings, loan-sharking operations, parliamentary log rolling, and the mutually assured destruction of nuclear deterrence—and therefore trust is self-sustaining. If you go over your quota, you will be subjected to a price war. If you don’t pay on time, your arm will be broken. If you interfere with my pork barrel project, I’ll put an end to yours. Attack our cities, and we’ll annihilate yours in return.
At the very least, such a world is stable and predictably organized. Contracts are upheld, and a man’s word really does become his bond in this society. Moral standards are high in terms of consequence, if not in terms of purpose, since no one gets into relationships of convenience with those who are untrustworthy. Such a world, on the other hand, is resistant to all forms of change, new ideas, and innovation. It is completely antithetical to the spirit of entrepreneurship.
For the most part, though, the greater environment in which we live is more flexible. It is filled by trusting optimists who are willing to conduct business with strangers and who are also innovators in their fields. A 26-year-old Steve Jobs with no prior business experience, or a 52-year-old Ray Kroc with almost 10 business failures under his belt, may both get funding to establish an Apple or a McDonald’s franchise. People are permitted to relocate from Maine to Montana, or from plastics to baked goods, without a great deal of explanation as to why and how.
Projects that need the integrity and ability of a big team while also being exposed to a wide range of commercial and technical risks may nonetheless get widespread support. In the event of a failure, optimists are more concerned with finding the pot of gold at the end of the rainbow than they are with identifying and punishing those who are responsible.
Our willingness to accept broken promises drives us to take risks. Entrepreneurs that do not have to worry about debtors’ jail or the shame associated with bankruptcy are more likely to borrow the capital they need to expand.
Tolerance also permits resources to be drawn away from firms that have outlived their usefulness in the marketplace. It is understandable that certain promises will have to be violated if the buggy whip maker is put out of business—promises that probably should not have been made in the first place. However, if we do not expect complete restitution for every violation of implicit and explicit contract, we will be able to make greater progress in the automotive era.
Even the most heinous of scoundrels are allowed in our society as long as they have something else to give in exchange. The brilliant innovators, the creative organizers, and the intrepid pioneers are not discarded just because they cannot be relied upon in all aspects of their endeavors. We “adjust”—and enable extraordinary skill to compensate for moral frailty—because we know in our hearts that knaves and blackguards have made significant contributions to our advancement. And this, somewhat unprincipled, tolerance contributes to the development of a thriving entrepreneurial economy.
Humankind’s proclivity toward force and fraud has been compared to a barbarian “state of nature” since antiquity, with a flawless, well-ordered civilization that has somehow tamed humankind’s tendency toward force and fraud. We have, to our advantage, produced something that is neither Beirut nor Bucharest in character. We don’t insist on honesty, but we respect and appreciate it when it occurs. We have both order and change, much like a kaleidoscope. Relationships that are beautiful and well-fitting are formed, yet they are broken and rebuilt at every step.
We should keep in mind, however, that this third option is only effective as long as the majority of us follow a decent moral compass. Because human trust is not based on self-interest, it is very fragile. As a matter of fact, we are all familiar with organizations, businesses, and even whole civilizations in which trust has been replaced by either a damaging free-for-all or an immovable set of rules and bureaucracy. Individual wills, resolve to do what is right, regardless of whether or not it is lucrative, are the only things that can rescue us from having to choose between chaos and stagnation.
how to encourage honesty
Encourage Transparency
Discuss with your children what it means to be honest and why it is a valuable trait. You may also foster honesty in your children by developing trustworthy connections with them and assisting them in developing self-awareness. Talk about how important it is to be able to trust one another. Recognize that stating the truth might be tough at times. We may not even be aware that we are deceiving ourselves at times. It is crucial to highlight with your kid that lying is bad; but, it is equally necessary to point out that there are times when it is OK to lie or not disclose the whole truth, and to offer specific instances. If your kid receives a present that he or she does not really like, you may advise him or her that it is preferable to pretend you enjoy the gift and show gratitude rather than to convey your genuine sentiments.
TRY THIS ONE:
Immediately start reminiscing about a moment when you were dishonest. This might be making a minor white lie or even simply leaving out a piece of information in order to gain an advantage. As a parent, you may also offer a personal story from your own youth. After you’ve both recounted your experiences, talk about the consequences of your dishonesty and what you might have done better. What was the reaction of others around you? You?
Honesty as a Model
Children learn about values through seeing our acts and the conduct of other adults whom they regard as role models. Pay special attention to whether or not you are setting an example of honesty and integrity in your daily encounters. Take note of any instances in which your actions do not correspond with the messages you are sending. Nobody is flawless all of the time. Recognize these occurrences and utilize them to serve as examples of honesty and self-awareness.
TRY THIS FOR ONE DAY ONLY: Honest Attention Day The purpose of this practice is to increase your awareness of the behavior you are mimicking. For one day, from the time you get up to the time you go to bed, pay close attention to your level of honesty. Make notes if you feel the need to. At the end of the day, take a moment to consider how truthful you were. Are you taken aback? Are there any things you’d do differently?
Honesty deserves to be praised.
Being truthful might require a lot of bravery at times. While it’s vital to teach children that lying is bad and why it is wrong, it’s equally important to express gratitude to them for their honesty and openness. Inform your youngster that you are pleased with their integrity.
How Honesty Can Make You Happy
Since many months, I’ve been maintaining an honesty diary of my thoughts and feelings. Because honesty has been much in the news recently — you might even say that honesty is having a cultural moment — I wanted to reflect on my own approach to being honest. Speaking the truth, my 6-year-old daughter once told me that she felt “gold in her head” when she revealed the truth. Is it possible that increasing my own honesty will activate a pleasure area in my own brain?
Throughout the day, I planned to scribble down several occasions in which I had to make a decision about being honest and pay attention to how I felt as a result.
The same 6-year-old daughter inquired of me at her bath time on the day I began the notebook, asking whether the cat had indeed gone to sleep the previous year and if this meant that I had murdered him. I groaned as I washed her hair and considered if I should start this honesty initiative till my children were of legal age. But I overcame my fear and informed her that, yes, I had made the decision for him to die because he was suffering and I wanted him to be at peace with himself. When I got halfway through my explanation, she seemed to have lost interest, which I was OK with.
It seemed to me that the decision between lying and being honest was often a choice between two things that were both equally bad. Telling the truth to my kid did not make me happy, but lying would not have made me happier either.
My kid, who is eight years old, was presented with a more significant chance. Despite the fact that he had no prior knowledge of the diary, he began to open up in a new manner after a few weeks, asking me questions he had previously been too ashamed or frightened to ask, such as what the term “pimp” meant and why people commit suicide. In fact, one of the most important lessons I learned was that we shouldn’t lie to children when they are asking us about adult concepts or phrases because else, they would simply ask Siri for the answer. If it comes down to choosing between YouTube and me to explain prostitution, I’ll choose me.
Subscribe to the Well newsletter, which is available exclusively to Times subscribers. Tara Parker-Pope brings you the latest in health, fitness, and nutrition news and information. With a Times membership, you can get it.
But I couldn’t help but worry about those small little falsehoods we tell ourselves to prevent hurting other people’s emotions. UC San Diego researchers are investigating “prosocial” falsehoods – white lies we make to help others, such as telling an aspiring writer that their piece is fantastic because you want to be pleasant and encouraging, while in fact you know it needs improvement and will be rejected. According to a recent research conducted at the lab, we are more inclined to make a prosocial lie when we are feeling sympathy toward someone. This is because when you are feeling sorry for someone, the last thing you want to do is harm him or her with the truth. These deceptions may make you feel better in the short term, but they often do more damage than good in the long run. After all, the raw truth might be hard to hear, but it is necessary for individuals to understand it if they are to improve their performance, particularly in a job or school environment.
In terms of my marriage, was it the stark reality that I really desired? Probably not.
My willingness to be honest with myself and with others did, on occasion, result in more positive relationships with my spouse. If, for example, the New York Times Magazine published a story on open marriage, it piqued my interest, I was intrigued. I shared my honesty diary with my husband because I was sharing it with him rather than keeping it to myself, as I would have done in the past. It was an open and honest talk that we both enjoyed. Other times, the need to be truthful caused tensions between ourselves and our families. It is not necessary to bring out that I do not agree with certain of his parenting approaches on a consistent basis to express my displeasure. During my research, I discovered that there is a third form of dishonesty, which is distinguished from white lies and known as “not revealing everything,” that exists inside partnerships.
Overall, I discovered that I had more difficulty with the minor instances of honesty than I did with the large ones. It’s for this reason that when a customer unintentionally paid me twice for the same assignment (by giving me an additional $1,000 check a week after they’d already paid me), there was no internal dispute. Because it was $1,000, I certainly had to notify the customer. But when the McDonald’s drive-through cashier gave me an extra dollar in change and the line had been SO long and all I wanted was a Diet Coke and my kids were acting out of control in the back seat and why was this stupid McDonald’s always so slow in the first place? … It was a whole different tale. Despite the fact that I returned the $1, I was on the verge of not doing so since an additional dollar felt so little and somehow justified. I’m not sure I would have returned it if I hadn’t been focused on being truthful the whole time.
According to the behavioral economist Dan Ariely’s 2012 book, “The (Honest) Truth About Dishonesty,” my experience was congruent with what he wrote about dishonesty. His study revealed that we exaggerate the facts by around 10% of the time. We cheat when we are quite positive that we will be able to get away with it, but only by a little margin, and about matters that we can justify. If we witness other individuals doing it, we are more likely to do it ourselves. When we are reminded to be honest, we are less likely to do so. These situations were brought to my attention by my diary in a blunt manner.
As a result, I rapidly realized that the Facebook version of Judi Ketteler, whose life seemed to be so organized and whose children appeared to be so well behaved, was really a very specific version of myself, a concept explored by Seth Stephens-Davidowitz in his book “Everyone Lies.” Doctor Davidowitz, a data scientist, addresses the gap between the ideal image of ourselves we display to the world through social media and the often-miserable admissions we make to Google when we search for the things we would never publish on our social media profiles. My social media persona was not a fabrication, but if I was going to concentrate on really honest conduct, it seemed best not to indulge too much — as a result, I reduced the amount of time I spent on Facebook.
Even though being honest was a hardship at first, I grew to like the way it made me feel. In a study conducted by the University of Notre Dame, it was discovered that when people consciously stopped telling lies, including white lies, for 10 weeks, they experienced fewer physical ailments (such as headaches) and fewer mental health complaints (such as depression symptoms) than a control group that did not place a strong emphasis on honesty.
According to the study, when individuals are more honest with themselves and others, they tend to feel better about their relationships and social interactions. This resonated true for me, primarily because I felt better about myself. It’s a well-known proverb that “Everyone wants to know the truth, but nobody wants to be honest.” I didn’t always want to be straightforward. But I wanted to know the truth, and focusing on honesty made me feel like I was doing my bit to assist the situation.
Overall, concentrating on honesty is a method to actively connect with the world, rather than passively grumbling about it, as the title suggests. It may even give you the impression that you have wealth stored in your brain.
The Benefits of Being Honest to Yourself and Others
When it comes to happiness, success, and fulfillment, honesty will lead you places you never imagined possible. It is the most simple thing you can do to achieve these goals. My basic ideals and principles are built on the basis of honesty. Because of its integrity, honesty is able to cut through deception as well as deceive and lie its way through the world. When you are honest with yourself, you may live a happy and free life.
Telling the truth is not the only way to be honest. It’s about being honest with yourself and others about who you are, what you want, and what you need in order to live your most genuine life. Integrity encourages transparency, gives us authority, and allows us to build consistency in our presentation of the truth. Honesty sharpens our vision and helps us to see everything in our environment with more clarity and understanding.
Throughout my career as an author and executive coach, I have worked with leaders who have identified the importance of being honest with themselves and others.
A Confusing Net of Interdependence We Weave
Deception – sometimes known as lying — is the polar opposite of honesty. Whether you are fooling others or yourself, lying is never a good decision. Lies are deceptions that trick the mind into believing what it is being told. Beginning with a hypothetical spoon the size of an infant’s fist, you begin to dig a ditch that will grow in size as time passes. In the process, you confuse yourself and others, lose credibility, and endanger your own well-being.
In order to mislead others, we should avoid lying to ourselves, which is considered the most harmful sort of lying we can engage in. Suddenly, our sense of morality, what is good and bad, as well as our aspirations and ambitions, begin to be questioned. My conscience was aware of the times when I lied in order to accomplish something that I knew was bad. Due to the fact that what I was mentally committing to was diametrically opposed to who I really am, my inner core fought and resisted.
In retrospect, every time I lied (that I can remember) was an attempt to justify or misrepresent my own deficiencies, or to make up for some other flaw. At the time, I was attempting to indulge in an immoral urge that would only provide fleeting pleasure at the most. It was common for me to tell lies since I didn’t put forth enough effort or had no strong principles or beliefs.
Some of the time, I was telling myself that I wasn’t good enough or capable of doing something that I had my heart set on doing. The simple way out was to lie or seem as if I knew something I didn’t really knew. In ways that I couldn’t have imagined at the time, this discouraging idea expressed itself in my life in unexpected ways. By postponing the pursuit of my ambitions, it caused me to fall behind the times. I was no longer able to take risks that my heart was eager to take, but which my head was preventing me from taking.
In the end, lying doesn’t get us anywhere, despite the temptation, convenience of use, and false promises. Instead of progressing forward, we continue in our current direction or, even worse, reverse direction.
Enhanced Physical and Mental Well-Being
Honesty and the pursuit of the truth are always the best course of action in any situation. When we are honest with ourselves, we inspire confidence and trust in others. When we are honest with ourselves, people may see and witness our example in the best possible light. Our vitality is enhanced by being honest. An experiment on honesty done by two University of Notre Dame professors revealed that speaking the truth is beneficial to our health in the following ways:
According to a research published in the journal “Science of Honesty,” telling the truth when tempted to lie may have a major positive impact on a person’s psychological and physical health.
This research was presented at the Annual Convention of the American Psychological Association four years ago. Respectable and appreciated conduct is always carried out with integrity…. Telling the truth and following through on it demonstrates a reverence for what is right as well as an appreciation for ethical and moral integrity, which are both important values. When it comes to building a strong character, honesty is among the most valued characteristics of every successful, responsible individual.
To be successful, for me, does not imply a monetary value, a number of sales, or the number of Facebook fans. Not the latter, especially not! Success is measured in terms of character, self-awareness, honesty, emotional intelligence, and hard effort, and these are the qualities that I respect. How we treat ourselves and others, as well as how we utilize our abilities to better the lives of others, are all important factors in our success.
In addition to possessing flawless integrity and honesty, an emotionally intelligent person is also capable of seeing and recognizing the characteristic of honesty in others. Unless business transactions and ordinary human interactions are conducted in accordance with a code of trust and honesty, the whole system will come to a grinding halt.
What You Will Discover If You Are Honest.
Throughout my life, I’ve conducted myself with a candidness (and, I’d like to think, honesty) that exhibits a reflection of my views. I’ve been brutally honest at times, to the point of being offensive. I have no regrets, though, when it comes to my total life. It is my belief that being truthful, open, and honest has served me more than any other quality in my personal conduct.
For many persons of authority, as well as my friends and family, I have earned the respect of being honest and straightforward. It’s always the real stuff when it comes to honesty; it’s never faked or fabricated. More than anything, I’d want to put all of my cards on the table, to be forthright and upfront about my goals and intentions.
While growing up in my twenties, I learnt to leave deceit and falsehoods to the CIA operatives on the big screen — in the realm of fiction, where they belong. Everyone’s time is best spent when they are being honest with themselves and others. It has prompted me to build a network of family, friends, and business partners in whom I have faith and respect, since we can all profit from the truth that has been shown to me.”
That President Abraham Lincoln is often known as “Honest Abe” is no accident; he is widely regarded as the most respected American president in history. Every transaction and trade in which Lincoln was involved included shrewdness, forthrightness, and honesty. Having grown up as a shop clerk, he understood the need of being fair and equitable while dealing with customers.
“He believed in the grand rules of truth, the correct execution of duty, his responsibility to God, the ultimate victory of the good, and the defeat of evil,” said Leonard Swett, a close friend of Lincoln.
Moreover, why not share Lincoln’s own thoughts on the subject: “Resolve to be honest at all times; and if, in your own view, you cannot be an honest lawyer, resolve to be honest even if you do not practice law.” Try your hand at something else.”
Interested in becoming one of the most recognized and well-regarded individuals in your social circle, if not your whole geographic area? To be successful, you should emulate the guy who is widely considered to be the greatest American to have ever lived: Abraham Lincoln. Because it defines who you are before you enable people to learn more about you, honesty should be the cornerstone of your construction.
Finding the answers you’re looking for is made easier when you’re being honest about your circumstances.
When it comes to being honest, there is no room for red tape, distractions, stress, or uncertainty. It takes less time and effort to live honestly because you express yourself honestly. Whether it’s one month, six months, or two years down the road, you may not always know what you want for yourself in the future, but your intuition will help you to discern what is in tune with your heart.
The attention and respect of others may be gained by expressing one’s true intentions in word and deed. These are the individuals you want to influence, as well as the ones you want to be inspired by. The people we choose to associate with and surround ourselves with assist to shape our view on life, as well as to raise us to places we could not have reached on our own without the aid of other people.
Make a commitment to yourself today to be the most honest person you can be. Keep your ideas, words, actions, and desires as open and honest as you possibly can. Then consider your interactions with others as well as your own connections. Allowing others to see you for who you really are? Then what are you scared of in the first place.
Start with being honest with yourself if you want to live your truth.
Since a very early age, individuals have been educated that the ideal policy is one based on honesty. We are trained to be honest in all of our interactions, no matter how large or little the transaction may be. We are taught from an early age not to lie. We are reminded over and over again that honesty is the most crucial of all ethical principles. What others seem to neglect to teach us, though, is the necessity of being honest with ourselves.
True to one’s self is really crucial in life. Even if you are honest with the rest of the world, you are not being fair if you are not equally honest with yourself as well. Give the most weight to your own opinions of yourself rather than the opinions of others on your person. You can explain to the rest of the world why you did what you did, but finding peace might be difficult if you are not honest with yourself about your actions.
Consider the following scenario: a person may treat someone unjustly in order to get something that was not legally theirs in order to be regarded favorably by others. However, the individual may be aware that what they did was wrong in their hearts and minds.
If we are unable to get the guts to be really honest with ourselves, we may continue to engage in the same patterns of conduct. The ability to be honest with oneself is a quality that is highly valued.
What is true will continue to exist indefinitely.
There is nothing consistent in this world. Everything is different. However, in order for anything to last forever, it must be genuine and faithful to its origins. What you are at your core is who you are. No matter how many colors you paint your skin to try to impress the rest of the world, you will always be who you are at your heart. Your truth is at the heart of who you are.
No matter how many colors you paint your skin to try to impress the rest of the world, you will always be who you are at your heart. Your truth is at the heart of who you are.
Even if you pretend to be someone or something that others want you to be, if you are honest with yourself, you will feel confident in your own skin. You will be true to yourself and not be concerned with what others think of your actions.
The reason for this is because at the end of the day, you may conceal your truth from the rest of the world but not from yourself. If you want to be proud of who you are, it is critical that you remain loyal to yourself.
YOU IMPROVE YOUR SELF-CONFIDENCE.
When you are honest with yourself, you acknowledge and accept your own shortcomings. Some of those terms may be familiar to you. You may be aware of what you are capable of, as well as what you are not capable of doing. The importance of other people’s opinions of you might diminish if you have sufficient self-knowledge.
You may find yourself becoming more brave since, when you understand your own strengths, the world and the views of others will be unable to bring you down. In the event that someone tells you that you can’t achieve something that you know you can do, your morale is likely to remain unaffected, allowing you to continue working towards your objectives without fear.
YOU EXPERIENCE MORE VISUALIZATION
When you are entirely honest with yourself, you will be able to get more clarity about the things you desire in your life. Your true identity is something that only you are aware of, and it is almost always up to you to determine what you want to do with your life. Individuals may define your priorities for you, but at the very least, you can be honest with yourself about your requirements, your desires, and your priorities. You may be able to put up more work and devotion if you have more clarity about what you want to accomplish.
RELATIONSHIPS GET BETTER AS TIME GOES ON
The cornerstone of each relationship is built on honesty. No relationship can continue if neither partner is honest with the other. If you are unable to be honest with yourself, how can you expect to be honest with anybody else in the future? If you keep the truth hidden from yourself, how can you expect anybody else to know what you’re really thinking? When you aren’t honest with yourself, it’s virtually hard to be honest with anybody else or with yourself.
Keeping the ‘real you’ available to the other person is essential to maintaining a long-lasting and healthy relationship…. Relationships flourish when the roots of the relationship are built on the honesty of two individuals with themselves and with each other.
THE QUALITY OF LIFE INCREASES
We work hard to maintain a favorable public image because we have begun to believe that we are who and what others perceive us to be. We strive to keep our reality hidden from the rest of the world because we believe it will disqualify us from being accepted into the ‘in-crowd.’ Being honest with yourself allows you to take responsibility for your reality and stop hiding behind popular opinion. The life you were previously attempting to keep hidden from the rest of the world begins to seem attractive.
Being completely honest with oneself may make life simpler, less difficult, and a whole lot more beautiful all at the same time. You grow less reliant on others and more reliant on oneself as a result of this process. You begin to accept and love yourself for who you are, warts and all, and this marks the beginning of the journey toward satisfaction and inner peace.
10 Ways to Instill Honesty in Your Children
My kid refused to participate in an art lesson a few years ago. He told us how it went in his first class, which we found out afterwards. During the course of the class hour, he informed us, the instructor said some nasty things about his project and then placed many of the guys in the corner for the remainder of the time period. Upon further interrogation, he revealed that he had made up the whole tale.
The student broke down in tears when we inquired as to his motivation for lying. He claimed that he was afraid of the instructor because she would point out his faults and instruct him on how to rectify them. It sparked a lively debate about how vital it is to be truthful, which was exactly what his instructor was doing in this situation.
We need to assist our children in developing healthy habits, and one of the most beneficial habits they may have is the ability to be honest with themselves and other people. Here are some strategies for teaching your children to be trustworthy.
1. Recognize and reward truthfulness.
It is human nature for us to reprimand our children. We aren’t usually eager to give compliments to others. Exceedingly positive reinforcement and hugs should be given to those who are truthful. It will help you to gain self-confidence and encourage good conduct. There is no such thing as too much love for a kid!
2. Tell the truth without sugarcoating it
Emphasize to your children that they are under no need to deliver false praise. In the event that they do not have a good word to say, educate them how to restrain their words so that they do not say anything at all. Although we should constantly strive to find something nice to say about others, it is not always possible to do so.
3. Tell the Unpalatable Reality
More essential than avoiding hurting the sentiments of someone who is acting inappropriately is maintaining principles. It is always incorrect to be incorrect. For example, your kid’s closest buddy may be cheating on exams, and your son is well aware of what is going on in the situation. He has a responsibility to go to his buddy and persuade him to leave the organization. As a result, he is causing himself harm as well as others around him who have diligently studied. It would be your son’s responsibility to inform the instructor of what is taking place if he refuses. That is the unpalatable fact of life.
4.Figure out what the truth looks like.
“The practice of saying tiny falsehoods eventually leads to the habit of telling huge lies,” says the author.
Always remember that you are an example to follow and respect. Obviously, you don’t want your kid to hear you speak a lie in front of her. True to your word, live by it. In the case of “harmless” white lies, your children may conclude that it is OK to lie themselves. It is easy to get into the habit of saying tiny falsehoods, which eventually leads to telling larger lies. Constantly provide thought and effort to informing others about and pursuing the truth.
5) Don’t put them through their paces.
Avoid asking questions that would offer your kid an opportunity to lie or deceive you, even if it is very tempting. The crimson liquid on the sofa was accidentally spilled by your kid. The question “Did you just spill your juice on the couch?” doesn’t have to be asked anymore. This causes her to assume that she may be able to find a way out and that she may be able to shift the responsibility to another party. Just inform her that she has to clean up after herself! In the end, she’ll have plenty of opportunity to speak truth to power.
6.Consequences should be stated.
All of us make mistakes. Everybody, even youngsters, does it! They will deceive you, and you will finally catch them in their lie. In order for them to learn from their mistakes, it is critical that they face repercussions, which is exactly what we did with our kid. Execution and enforcement of appropriate discipline must be ensured. Make it so that lying is no longer worth it.
7.Fix Mistakes if They Occur.
It’s a terrific time to educate your children about honesty when you catch them being dishonest. Examine their reasoning for believing it was necessary to deceive. Justify your point by stating that lying is detrimental to relationships since it fosters distrust, which is tough to acquire. Inquire with them about what they may have done better.
8.Keep Your Words and Keep Your Words.
Promises must be kept in order to earn someone’s confidence. Develop the virtue of reverence for one’s own words in your children. They don’t take anything back after they’ve given it to you! Being a role model is the most effective method of imparting knowledge.
9. Be considerate of other people’s property.
Possessions may lead to a wide range of issues, including domestic violence. To educate a youngster from an early age that what they have is theirs is the best policy in most circumstances. Other people’s possessions are the property of the one who has them. If you borrow a game and don’t return it, that’s not acceptable. Even if it’s wonderful to give something away, the item must always be returned.
10.Discover Sincere Companions.
Show me your buddies, and I’ll show you what your future will look like. They will lie and cheat if their pals lie and cheat. However, if your child’s companions are honorable and honest, your boy or girl will be in a far better position. Keep an ear out for any of your children’s pals who could be telling lies to you.
6 Rules For Open & Honest Communication In Relationships
When it comes to talks with your spouse, are you able to be really honest? When you’re attempting to talk about a tough topic in your relationship, it may be extremely challenging to be open and honest. In your relationship, how often have you felt angry, dissatisfied, or misunderstood after having a chat with your partner? How many times have you uttered something that you afterwards regretted, something that caused your spouse unnecessary pain and suffering? The ability to be kind, tolerant, and loving is something we tend to overlook when we are stressed. Some tips to assist you in really opening up communication in your relationship are as follows:
First and foremost, be punctual.
Important talks should not be postponed, but they should also not be begun at inconvenient or insensitive moments. Don’t bring up your bedroom problems at the start of the Super Bowl or start a serious discussion on the way to a holiday party. If you’re going to have to talk, have a strategy. Make a definite time for the talk so that neither of you is caught off guard. And never start a dialogue while you’re too furious to view your spouse as anything other than a nasty devil-person who deserves to be punished. Wait till you’ve regained your composure before continuing..
2. Be willing to change your mind on things.
Especially in-depth conversations seldom go easily and almost never turn out the way you expected them to. They make a digression here and an unexpected statement there as they weave their way through the story line. When conversing with your spouse, avoid being too strict. When it comes to how the discussion should go, the more invested you are in how it turns out, the more unhappy you will be with how it really goes down.
Follow the discourse, bend with it and be present with what is occurring between the two of you at any given time. Despite this, you may still communicate whatever it is that needs to be said, albeit perhaps in a different manner than you had originally intended to. That’s perfectly OK.
3. Be patient. It takes time to learn anything new.
Have you ever felt that you couldn’t say what you wanted to say clearly? Is it true that you spent hours trying to find the right words? Have any of us had a similar experience? Neither one of us is a flawless communicator. Being patient with your spouse as they struggle to express themselves is essential. Before they’ve completed delivering their points of view, don’t prepare your comments in advance. Keep an open mind and patience while you listen to what they’re saying.
4.Intuition is key here.
Misunderstandings have happened to all of us, and they are never pleasant experiences.. When you think about it, how many times have you spoken anything that didn’t reflect your true feelings? Talking with your spouse involves more than just exchanging words. Everything that is stated is fueled by energy. To tune into it, use your intuition. The ability to listen with your heart rather than your intellect is very crucial, particularly if you’re with someone who has communication difficulties. Try to concentrate on the words themselves as well as the energy behind them.
This does not give you permission to manipulate your partner’s words and intentions in your head. The chance for your heart to recognize the reality of their words is presented to you here.
5. Be open to new ideas and possibilities.
When you are full with judgment, it is hard to speak with love and clarity. No matter what is going on, find acceptance for your spouse and then interact from this position of understanding. It is natural to get defensive or close down when we feel criticized, neither of which is conducive to open conversation. Whenever we communicate to our partners that we accept them, whether verbally or energetically, we open the door for them to expose themselves in a more vulnerable and honest manner.
Sixth, be truthful.
In your relationship with your spouse, honesty is unquestionably the most crucial quality you can contribute. If what you’re saying isn’t true, then there isn’t anything genuine being exchanged with the other person. Clear, kind, and polite expression of your truth, to the extent that you are able. When you avoid telling the truth because you are worried about how it will be accepted, you just serve to strengthen the barriers that already exist in your marriage. It doesn’t matter how your spouse responds when you share your truth from a place of love; you are always increasing the strength of the bond between you. Truthfulness is required.
When it comes to relationships, communication is key. An open, honest, and connected communication is more likely to result in a more healthy relationship. Recognize that you have a problem. Communication with your spouse is completely in your control. Take intentional steps to include as many of the above intents into your discussions as possible, and you’ll undoubtedly see and experience some really beneficial improvements in your relationship. –
The Word Successful People Never Say honesty
Choosing and speaking with care are essential when it comes to using words.
A recent LinkedIn article by Brian de Haaf, founder and CEO of Aha! says that “what you say may have an impact on how others perceive who you are.” “In an ideal situation, the words you speak will raise you and encourage people around you to do the same. They should not be detrimental to your well-being or relationships.”
One word in particular, “honestly,” has the potential to dramatically damage your reputation (and is one that the most successful individuals avoid using at all costs).
While some individuals use this term to make a point, according to de Haaf, it is more likely to raise red flags and cause your audience to doubt whether or not you are speaking the truth.
“If you want to be taken seriously, you must always be direct. And when you are, there is no need for qualifiers such as ‘honestly.’ “he explains. “Authenticity is the only kind of honesty that matters.”
He claims that the term “honestly” is the most “destructive word in business” because it generates a sense of separation.
This term is used to drive people away from a remark, “making it more difficult for them to come near and understand your message,” according to the author. “This strategy is detrimental to your own relationship-building efforts, let alone any argument that you are preparing to present,” says the author.
Words matter a great deal — but your honesty counts much more, according to de Haaf. So don’t jeopardize your reputation by “creating a gulf of a terrible impression.” Instead, he proposes that you pull people in by being sincere in your dealings with them.
Becoming an Honest Business Owner
Business owners must be honest and trustworthy. Without honesty in both personal and business habits, I think you will inevitably lag behind even if you have the most original, exciting concept, the best company model and the best workers in the world.
In the spirit of openness, I’ve compiled a list of critical do’s and don’ts for company owners. Based on my 25+ years as a successful flower business owner and leader.
Do:
• Keep character and values consistent. You can’t be two people at once. Personal and company branding are intertwined, in my opinion. A great brand requires honesty in business. For example, being honest with yourself and your staff about your values is important.
Forcing your staff to lie to consumers on your behalf if you are dishonest with them or have false ideals The company’s leadership or business as a whole may not inspire confidence in them.
NEXT:
We can control our own destiny, says John Zimmer, Lyft’s CEO.
Plus a folding phone and four new Microsoft Surface computers for small business
• Create a culture that will permeate your staff and consumers, and encourage innovation. My experience with corporations who lied or were not honest with the public during crises has been mixed. Employees will want to work with you rather than just for you if you create an honest and positive workplace. We all know that a leader’s attitude sets the tone for the whole firm.
Don’t:
• Fake reviews However, it’s crucial to realize that publishing fake reviews or claiming bogus interactions is unethical and unethical behavior. Building a brand and reputation takes time and work, especially when you’re just getting started. You, your workers, and your organization are all harmed when you create false reviews. You’ve got it all wrong. Undeniably, favorable evaluations might be questioned for their veracity and authenticity.
• Purchase Facebook friends or likes. The same applies to purchasing social media followers, friends, or likes. Others will believe in your company if you believe in it. No need to purchase fans or likes. A lack of brand integrity and a feeling of corporate vulnerability are the results of such behavior. Creating a social media following takes time.
• Take shortcuts or behaviors you think others won’t notice. The person you are when you meet with clients and investors should be the same person. Nobody can hide who you truly are. Having a high turnover rate will certainly result in losing personnel and clients.
• Get staff to lie for you. I see this a lot. Using inferior products or technology and claiming that the buyer “won’t realize the difference” may sound trivial. By promoting dishonesty in the workplace, you really promote it. It is not enough to expect honesty and integrity from your personnel. What else are they not being honest about? If you ask someone to reveal even a little falsehood, I think the question will always linger:
What is the character quality that underpins all of this? As a company owner, you must be consistent and honest. The appropriate judgments may be made regardless of the situation.
Your actions as a leader influence how workers and prospective consumers see your organization. Personal and professional success will follow if you be your best self. The classic Mark Twain adage “If you speak the truth, you don’t have to remember anything” should always be remembered in times of uncertainty. Do what is right.
