Here Are 6 Of The Most Common Sexual Fantasies.
Sex workers frequently develop a close relationship with their customers, and because of their profession, they are privy to their clients’ most private sexual wants even those that they may not be comfortable revealing with their love partners or other confidantes.
The most often mentioned fantasies among sex workers, including dominatrixes and escorts, were compiled in a survey. Here’s what they had to say:
Sissification is the first of them.
Sissification (also known as forced feminization) is a process in which a male submissive adopts traditionally feminine habits or mannerisms and cross-dresses at the order of the dominant, according to dominatrix Aleta Cai.
‘Sissy,’ of course, is a disempowered and disparaging epithet for effeminate guys,” Cai said to HuffPost. “Because the term itself is symptomatic of emasculation, the procedure would be humiliating. “I’d dress these guys in bras and panties, and occasionally I’d put on makeup and parade them about in high heels,” says the author.
In addition, Kitty Stryker, a dominatrix and writer, stated she has worked with a number of male customers who have requested her to “push” them to dress or behave in ways that are traditionally deemed feminine, but she chooses to approach things from a feminist viewpoint.
I would not do scenarios using force because I am genuinely concerned about consent; instead, I would encourage these guys to explore their feelings about gender and what that means to them,” she said. As a combat boot-wearing punk queer Domme, I was able to question these men’s preconceived notions of what was ‘feminine,’ while also encouraging them to express themselves in a more balanced manner.
2. Bisexuality is “forced”
As an example, “forced” bisexuality (when the dominant partner (usually male) “forces” the submissive partner (usually female) to engage in sexual activities with a partner of the same sex) isn’t actually forced, because the client and sex worker would have negotiated the terms before the scene even starts.
According to Stryker, “I received a slew of requests from males for sequences in which they would be “forced” to have oral sex with another man while I directed and observed.” In my role as a queer person, I don’t participate in any scenes that are based on the treatment of gay sex acts as a “bad” or “shameful,” so instead I would participate in “encouraged bi” situations.
The author said, “I believe that part of the eroticism is rooted in the forbidden nature of the dream for guys, who are often pushed towards hypermasculine poisonous ideals, but who hadn’t even imagined that they might experience this in a manner that was affirming.”
dominant as an escort and a professional When it comes to this form of BDSM, Oz Bigdownunder says he often serves as the male sexual partner for customers who have an interest in it.
His definition of a typical customer is “a Mistress’s regular client who has been seeing her frequently for months or years and participating in role plays in which he imagines situations in which he sucks cock or taking one up the a**,” according to him. In the beginning, he relied on toys and strap-ons, but he gradually got the guts to try the real thing. A large number of people who meet this description say they have never been in a relationship with a guy, but when the time comes, it is clear that they are really highly experienced.”
3. Participation in role-playing games
People like role-playing fantasies that have anything to do with power dynamics, such as those between teacher and student, boss and employee, or doctor and patient. Cai said that in these situations, her male customers are often asking for her to portray an authoritative lady who is abusing her authority, but in a safe environment.
“The majority of these males had some form of sexual anchor, as well as unresolved tension or trauma with an authoritative figure,” the researchers concluded. “I mean, who doesn’t?” she said. As for the taboo that, in the actual world, they weren’t meant to be sexually attracted to the people in power, this becomes a gold mine in the fantasy world since it’s always the taboo that heightens sensuality.
4. Cuckolding is a kind of deceit.
Observing his spouse have sexual contact with another person outside of the partnership is a kind of cuckolding, in which a person (typically a guy) becomes sexually aroused. Clients of escort Hayley Jade often express an interest in seeing her have sexual relations with another man: “Even if I’m not their girlfriend, it’s a cuckold dream that’s quite prevalent,” she said.
He has also engaged in men’s cuckolding fantasies while working as a male escort: he will have sexual relations with a female escort while her client is watching them. Occasionally, the customers will simply stand there and watch; other times, they may jerk off, and other times, they may want to be involved in some manner.
“A lot of the time, the customer feels confined and powerless,” Bigdownunder said. “Some are in forced chastity, like a cock cage, and aren’t permitted to touch themselves until the conclusion of the session, so it’s more about surrendering control and letting go of the excitement.” The use of ropes, gags, impact play such as spanking or caning, and other components of BDSM play are used in some of these cuckolding and forced bi sessions, but not all of them.”
5. Threesomes are a fun way to spend time with friends.
Having numerous lovers at the same time is a great turn-on for both men and women, regardless of whether they are single or in a committed relationship. Jade said she is often requested to host threesomes, which include a male client and another female client as well.
Certain their attraction to females, “the more females there are in a given area, the better it is for them,” she said.
Other times, the male customer just want to see her with another woman without being involved himself.
“A lot of males aren’t even required to participate,” Jade said. “All they have to do is see two ladies together to get their kicks.”
6. Threatening to blackmail someone
When Cai first began out in the BDSM profession, she said she seemed young for her age and talked softly, which led to customers routinely asking her to role-play a pupil while they played the instructor. It was common for these scenarios to begin with her in a less strong position, but as time progressed, the tables would flip and she’d begin exercising dominance over the customer.
The scenario would also require her to ‘blackmail’ the customer, which she described as an extra motivation. “A typical idea might be something along the lines of, ‘I’d snap a picture of him and send it to his wife,’ which would never really happen! “It’s all for the sake of linguistic imagination.”
However, although being blackmailed in normal life seems like the worst thing that could happen, it may really be a turn-on in the world of BDSM.
I feel there is something seductive about being outwitted, “put in your place,” and completely out of control, especially when it is done in a safe environment, according to the client. “These are topics that are considered taboo in our culture. There are countless films and television programs about students or secretaries who seduce their instructors or employers, but there are many penalties in the real world that do not exist in the dungeon.”
Experts Distinguish Between Fetish And Kink
If you’re having a casual discussion, the terms fetish and kink are sometimes used interchangeably to refer to any sexual urge or propensity that is outside of the mainstream – for example, bondage.
However, despite the fact that the two names may overlap in certain areas, sex experts claim there are some significant distinctions between the two concepts.
For the purposes of this definition, a fetish is any sexual fixation on a single item or act that is absolutely required for the individual’s sexual fulfillment. Frequently, it’s something that isn’t necessarily sexual in nature, such as shoes, leather, or splashing.
“Partialism” is a term used to describe the fixation on a certain bodily part, such as the feet, hands, buttocks, or boobs, for instance.
sex therapist David Ortmann, author of Sexual Outsiders: Understanding BDSM Sexualities and Communities, said to HuffPost that “with [partialism], one portion of the total body is separated and sexually charged or objectified.” According to the author, “A person might have an erotically fascinated with corsets or leather belts without simultaneously being obsessed with skinny, defined waistlines,” which is a kind of partialization.
While kink is a more general phrase, it refers to a variety of unique sexual interests, desires, and fantasies that are distinct from your typical missionary sex. It may involve BDSM, roleplaying, or impact play, such as spanking and whipping, amongst other activities.
In the words of “Dirty Lola,” a sex educator who goes by the moniker “Dirty Lola,” “Fetish is heavily tied to having a psychological need for those specific objects or acts in order to experience pleasure and orgasm, whereas kinks can add to a sexual experience but are not necessarily required to achieve sexual release.”
If you think about it, all kinks are also fetishized, but not all fetishized are kinks, and the reverse is also true. The same thing that could be a kink for one person (for example, being turned on by your spouse wearing leather chaps) might be someone else’ s fetish.
In the case of leather, for example, you may have a real sexual predilection for it, as in, the leather itself gets you on, according to Gigi Engle, a sex educator and published author. In a way, it’s similar to a Venn diagram in that items are continually overlapping. It seems that there is a great deal of grey area.”
Also acknowledging that the borders between fetish and sexuality may get blurred, Lola provided an example from her own sex life to highlight the issue.
The spankings and impact play are two of my favorite things to do as a submissive.” ‘That type of activity adds another element to my sex life, which I really like,’ she said. I don’t always want or want that type of play to be a part of all of my sexual encounters, though. ” There are just a few persons with whom I engage in this kind of play, and I seldom have penetrative sex even when I am fully involved in the activity. It is common for the play itself to be delightful and satisfying in and of itself.”
However, if Lola had a desire for spanking, she would be unable to get off without engaging in that kind of play; she would leave a spanking-free meeting feeling sexually unsatisfied.
A fetish is defined as an obsession with something or someone that a person has developed early in life, such as during infancy or adolescence, according to Shannon Chavez, a licensed psychologist and sex therapist.
As Chavez said, “it is reinforced by the desire and pleasure experienced as a result of participating in that conduct.” “Most fetishes are formed as a result of early life events and manifest themselves as patterns and behaviors that evolve as the individual’s sexual development progresses.”
