The Real Meaning of When Your Man Has a Glamourous Look at Another Woman
You’re enjoying a romantic evening out with your boyfriend (or spouse) at your favorite restaurant when a lady comes by your table and makes eye contact with you.
The guy you like turns his head and looks her up and down, his gaze lingering just a bit too long on her breasts or behind. You stand there and watch him do it.
The emotions of jealously, wrath, anguish, and insecurity suddenly rush through the body. Immediately, a barrage of thoughts floods your mind: Does he really desire her? Is he of the opinion that she is more attractive than I am? Is it possible that he has lost interest in me?
Does this sound familiar?
That’s because it’s something that almost every woman has experienced at some time in her life. Because, let’s face it, guys like being noticed. It should be stated clearly that this includes all males; not just your guy, not just single men, not just players, cheats, and womanizers, but all men.
Take, for example, my own situation. My relationship with my boyfriend has lasted almost four years. I admire her and enjoy being around her. Her company is something I want to spend the rest of my life with. In no way, shape, or form would I consider violating her trust by sleeping with someone else.
But I take a peek. Whenever a gorgeous lady passes by, I can’t help but take note. I can’t help but respond in the manner that I do when I see a woman with certain characteristics that I find attractive. It’s just something about me. And I’m not the only one.
It is perfectly natural for males to be attracted to other women’s bodies.
It’s also quite natural for women to have that visceral, emotional response when they notice their spouse is gazing at them.
It’s only natural to be curious in how guys dress and what they’re thinking when they do so.
Please allow me to explain…
What “The Look” Is All About
He thinks she’s physically beautiful, and he likes her.
In his brain, a chemical response took place as soon as he laid eyes on her. Neurotransmitters such as dopamine and serotonin were released, causing him to experience an uncontrollable rush of pleasure.
In a totally innocuous and innocent manner, a part of him yearns for her, or wonders what it would be like to be with her for a while.
The same way that you could be sexually attracted to Denzel Washington or Channing Tatum, wonder what it would be like, and then decide not to pursue the relationship.
In an alternative world if he was single and unattached, it’s possible that he’d be interested in her as a potential sexual partner for him.
Exactly What It Doesn’t Imply
He considers her to be more attractive than you.
He is not attracted to you in any way.
He is dissatisfied with both you and your relationship.
You are unable to please him.
If you aren’t (beautiful, slim, sexy, loving, affectionate, and so on) enough for him, he will leave you.
You should feel enraged with him, or envious of her, or self-conscious about your appearance or body image.
His unfaithfulness or his intention to cheat on you are both concerning.
Your relationship is doomed from the start.
Simply stated, the fact that he is looking has absolutely nothing to do with you. The world is full with breathtaking sights – flowers and sunsets, magnificent works of art – but none are more stunning than the feminine form. When your guy expresses interest in a painting or sculpture, it doesn’t take anything away from you. When he stares at another lady, it doesn’t mean he has any less affection for you.
The look is essentially nothing more than that: recognizing and enjoying beauty when we come across it, and nothing more.
Why Do Men Take Interest in Other Women?
When it comes to males, sexual desire and emotional connection are not always mutually exclusive. We may be attracted to women only on the basis of their physical appearance. It is possible for us to get turned on by women with whom we do not have an emotional connection or chemistry. We may be head-over-heels in love with one lady and totally committed to her while still being drawn to other women at the same time. In reality, research indicates that we are unable to stop it.
When it comes to being attracted to prospective mates, men and women behave quite differently, according to a research study published in the Archives of Sexual Behavior in 2013. In general, women are more attracted to males depending on their acquaintance with them; they prefer guys who are physically similar to their present spouse and rate men as being more beautiful the more frequently they see them.
Men, on the other hand, are drawn to novelty. We are drawn to the novel and the unusual, and we are drawn to a wide range of women with a wide range of physical characteristics and body shapes.
In most cases, this is regarded as the consequence of evolution. Generally speaking, women have evolved to be spouses and mothers, nurturers and caregivers, while males have evolved to guarantee the survival of our genes by “sowing our seeds” as far and widely as possible across the universe. Our eyes are programmed to stray, as if we were born with this ability.
It is not a conscious decision; rather, it is a biological impulse. And it’s typically taken care of before the slower, more deliberate decision-making process can take over.
Men’s inherent sexual desires and impulses are exacerbated further by over-sexualized media and advertising, which further exacerbates the situation.
All around us, we are subjected to sexual imagery and innuendo intended to sell us anything from automobiles and perfume to beer and cheeseburgers, among other things. This kind of advertisement often features models that have been extensively made-up, airbrushed, and manipulated in order to sell an unachievable ideal of “beauty.” (Of course, this also promotes women to experience a variety of body-image problems and anxieties, but that’s a topic for another post…)
When There Is a Problem
While it is natural for men to have an interest in other women, to admire them, and even to dream about them, there is a boundary that a mature and devoted guy would not cross out of respect for them. Looking is one thing, but staring is quite another, and it can be painful, humiliating, and insulting when done in an inappropriate manner.
As previously said, when I encounter a beautiful lady, I can’t help but have a fleeting positive response. But, as soon as the time is passed, I immediately return my focus to the lady who is the love of my life and to whom I am completely committed.
Staring, making improper remarks, touching, flirting, and (obviously) cheating are all indications of inappropriate behavior.
It is indicative of a guy who is not mature enough to control himself, or who does not respect you (or women in general) or care enough about you to restrain his impulsive conduct toward you. In any case, it’s not a good sign for the future of your labor union…
What was I thinking? Why hadn’t I noticed earlier?
Most of the time, after a couple has been together for a year or more, and the wonderful “honeymoon period” has come to an end, a man’s wandering eye becomes a problem.
It is easy to believe that since the passion has begun to wane, your spouse no longer cares about you and is searching about for other alternatives to pursue. However, this is not always the case.
There are at least two possible explanations for why this issue hasn’t surfaced until now, and none of them implies that your spouse has lost his or her interest in you.
We are physically “high on love” during the early phases of a new relationship, for starters, and this is a good thing. When we see, or simply think about, our spouse, our brains release a strong and intoxicating chemical mix into the environment. Often, for many guys, this natural buzz is sufficient to chase away any thoughts of other women from our brains, decreasing or completely eradicating our wandering eyes.
First and foremost, both partners prefer to idealize each other during this passionate, early-stage of love and to totally ignore any irritating behaviors or characteristics. Even if your boyfriend is flirting with another woman in front of you, you may be so taken with him that you either ignore or subconsciously filter out the fact that he is doing so.
However, after a year or two, or at the most three years, the honeymoon period comes to an end. In the course of a relationship, the way our brains react to our partner gradually changes, and this has an impact on our feelings and actions while we are together. For him, his old hunter-gatherer instincts come back to life with a vengeance, and he finds himself attracted to every beautiful lady that comes across his path once again. Additionally, she can no longer stay blissfully unaware.
If she’s ever been cheated on before, his wandering gaze is likely to reopen those old scars and bring any lingering anxieties to the forefront of her consciousness.
This was definitely the situation for me and my relationship at the time of writing this. For the first year or so of our relationship, I was completely absorbed by my lover and paid little attention to other ladies. It was the first time I’d ever experienced anything like this, and it was really magical. However, as soon as that first, smoldering desire began to cool, my gaze began to wander once again.
Not because I had lost interest in her, but rather because the chemistry in my brain was shifting. It was the beginning of a new era in our relationship, and the chemistry between the two of us was shifting as well.
An affair is simple and uncomplicated up to this point because both parties are swept away and carried off by the roaring tempest of their mutual desire. However, in order for a relationship to continue beyond this stage, it is necessary for both parties to be completely honest, committed, and open in their communication.
How To Deal With Your Guy’s Constantly Glancing Observation
Don’t Make Assumptions.
When you see your guy gazing at another lady, don’t make any assumptions about what he’s thinking. Keep in mind what it implies, and more importantly, what it does not imply. A treachery is not implied by a single look. Keep in mind that he still has feelings for you, that he cares about you, that he is devoted to you, and that he is still drawn to you. He chooses to be with you out of all the other women in his life.
Set realistic expectations for yourself.
When we hold our spouse to unrealistic expectations, we create a never-ending cycle of disappointment, wounded emotions, rage, and frustration in ourselves and in them. No one comes out on top. The truth of human nature and sexual desire must be confronted. In our world, there are a lot of gorgeous women, and you are not the only one that your man finds appealing. Don’t expect him to be completely uninterested in or uninterested in other women all of the time.
Inform Him of your thoughts and feelings.
It’s important to inform your spouse when his or her wandering gaze makes you feel unworthy or unworthy of your relationship. Non-Violent Communication should be practiced. Do not blame, shame, or accuse him; instead, express your genuine emotions.
Healthy Boundaries should be established.
The willingness to collaborate with you in order to establish healthy boundaries indicates that your spouse is serious about making your relationship work. He shouldn’t stare at her too frequently, for too long, or in too obvious a way. He should take every precaution to avoid making you feel uncomfortable (or other women, for that matter). He should also make it obvious to you, via both his words and actions, that he still wants you and cares about you; that he is still attracted to you, and that he is still fully devoted to your relationship.
Men are no exception when it comes to the need for love and emotional connection in order to be happy and satisfied. Many societal myths and prejudices would have us think that males are emotionally insensitive and motivated only by their sexual desires, and that this is not the case. However, the reality is that we guys need closeness, love, and affection in the same quantities as women.
A decent guy is aware of this and conducts his life in accordance with it. The fact that an emotional and spiritual connection is more rewarding than a one-night stand is well known to him. He understands that sex is much more satisfying, meaningful, and pleasant when you have a strong emotional and spiritual connection with your partner. His feelings of love and admiration for you outweigh his sexual desires by a wide margin. He doesn’t reject or suppress his desires, but he also doesn’t indulge them in a rash manner. He looks, properly and politely, but he does not make any physical contact with me.
The most important thing is that he goes out of his way to demonstrate that you are his top priority; that he loves you, that he cares for you, and that, out of all the beautiful women he sees every day, you are the one that he chooses, the one that he wants, and that he is solely and completely yours.