benefits of being a virgin until marriage
Though the topic of virginity is a sensitive and delicate one, we at Ask Love Dr are not hesitant to speak our opinions on seemingly intractable topics like these. A good explanation why there are so few books written about virginity, despite the fact that it is a widely debated subject.
People are frightened to voice their thoughts; we, on the other hand, are not afraid of doing so. There have been a variety of ideas expressed on the concept of virginity, and the views held by various religions, cultures, and communities add to the complexity and intrigue of the discussion.
Among the topics discussed in this article are the definition of virginity, the benefits and drawbacks of being a virgin before marriage, the differing viewpoints expressed by culture and religion, as well as how to deal with a partner who holds opposing views on abstaining from sexual activity prior to marriage. Then we’ll wait for you to respond to the question of whether or not you’re a virgin. Some people consider themselves secondary, while others should be classified as tertiary or even postgraduate virgins, according to their level of education and experience.
In terms of virginity,
Virginity is defined as the status of a person who has not had any sexual encounters with another person in any way. Some people believe that a man is a virgin as long as he has not been penetrated. Many criticisms and counter-arguments have been raised in response to this notion, including the question of who genuinely is a virgin.
Even to others, a person is considered to be a virgin as long as he or she has not consented to any sexual activity during that period. This means that someone may still be a virgin even after having been sexually molested. The fact that some individuals are still virgins until marriage is not important to them; rather, what matters to them is how they feel about their past love-making experiences and if they can learn anything from them in order to better their sexual relationships in the future.
Views on virginity that are influenced by culture, religion, and social context
A few examples include: Innocence, innocence, uncorrupted, and integrity. The first act of sexual intercourse by a female, and in certain circumstances by a man, is considered to be a significant personal milestone in that individual’s life. Tradition has it that a girl should abstain from any pre-marital sexual activity and that she should present herself to her husband on the day of her wedding as immaculate and virginal. Do these occurrences occur in reality? Moreover, why are only women subjected to this kind of pressure?
As part of this customary ceremony, the lady often wears a veil over her gown, indicating that she will “give up” her virginity to her new husband during the act of consummation. The use of menstruation cups and tampons, as well as medical exams and other activities that may cause the hymen to be broken, are all outlawed in certain societies, even today.
Being a virgin before marriage has its pros and downsides.
For most civilizations, cultures, and faiths, insistence on virginity before marriage has a great deal of advantages for the person concerned. Many people believe that being a virgin before marriage is a show of devotion and love for the person who will be married to the person who is virgin before marriage. The trust and adoration you get from your spouse will increase, and marital problems will be less frequent. When a virgin, she has the benefit of giving respect to her family while also avoiding the majority of the difficulties involved with sexual connections with ex-lovers. Apart from avoiding undesirable pregnancies and illnesses, a virgin receives the blessings that come with marriage and earns the esteem of the person she is marrying (and vice versa).
As for the downsides of being a virgin, just a handful may be cited in terms of the positive aspects. The fact that a virgin may lack sexual experience and, as a result, may not perform properly is a reason why few individuals will refuse to marry one. However, it is not always too late to find out whether that particular gentleman is engaged to be married to someone else.
How does this play out if your spouse has opposing beliefs to your decision to remain single prior to marriage? It is preferable if you both speak about it and come to an agreement that sex is not everything in a relationship and that it is vital to take your time and get to know one other very well before getting married. The knowledge that both of you have kept yourself unspotted and clean before marriage will bring honor to yourselves and your families, and you will be able to enjoy all of the benefits that come with marriage as a result of this.
Cons of abstaining from sexual activity till marriage
Until marriage, abstinence refers to giving up or abstaining from sexual acts until after the union is completed. Many advantages come with taking such a huge move, and this is particularly true for teens. However, abstinence from sexual activity is the most effective technique of birth control, despite its low popularity among the general public. Continue reading for further benefits of abstinence till marriage.
It helps to avoid unintended pregnancy.
There is no risk of becoming pregnant if you abstain from sexual activity until you are married, which is a clear advantage. The practice of refraining from sex is quite successful for those who do not want to get pregnant or father more children. The anticipation of the arrival of their menstrual cycle after sexual encounters is common among many women. In order to soothe their anxieties, some women choose to take early pregnancy tests after having sexual contact. The above-mentioned concerns and tensions, on the other hand, are avoided via abstention. Protection may not always provide the intended outcomes, but abstinence ensures that you will not get pregnant if you do not want to be!
Secondly, it protects against sexually transmitted diseases
By having sex, you might not only get certain extremely unpleasant sexually transmitted diseases (STDs), but you also run the risk of contracting HIV/AIDS. The fact that they are acquiring such diseases is generally highly bothersome for young people, and it may lead their peers to isolate them. It is possible that just coming to the health clinic and interacting with other individuals who are experiencing similar symptoms can exacerbate the situation. Furthermore, planning your whole life around prescription medicines for the treatment of major venereal illnesses may lead to feelings of worry and sadness, according to research. Abstinence until marriage, on the other hand, gives complete protection against sexually transmitted diseases (STIs).
A more fulfilling sexual experience.
Abstinence from sexual activity before marriage does not definitely ensure a very satisfactory sex life after marriage; but, it may help a marriage start off on the right foot by removing any baggage from previous relationships.. If a person has previously had sexual encounters with multiple partners, it is likely that they have become indifferent to the feelings of attachment they have towards their marriage spouse.
Abstinence till marriage may have the disadvantage of preventing the development of the specific closeness that comes from sexual encounters.
What happens to males who abstain from SEX till they marry?
In a recent announcement, Russell Wilson, the quarterback of the Seattle Seahawks, and his girlfriend, the singer Ciara, said that they want to remain sexually abstinent until they are married.
Many were taken aback by the pledge, which was made in secret. Indeed, sexual purity is a commitment that has traditionally been expected of, connected with, and even required of females in society. Sexual abstinence, on the other hand, is not something that is expected of males, particularly individuals of the caliber of Russell Wilson, among others.
With his athletic talent and attractiveness, Wilson symbolizes the ideals of modern masculinity that include style, financial success and, yes, sexual prowess, among other things.
In order to maintain his dedication to abstinence while still honoring masculine norms, Russell Wilson must find a way to balance these two demands. Sporting Wilson’s celebrity and athletic prowess, sociologist CJ Pascoe believes he has “jock insurance,” which is a kind of financial protection for athletes. As a result of his notoriety, he is able to make typically nonmasculine decisions without having his masculinity called into question.
For a guy who isn’t in the public eye, but who makes a similar sort of commitment to abstinence, what does it all mean? And what does it entail for the woman with whom they are involved and who they may one day be engaged to be married to?
As part of a broader academic interest in masculinities, religion, and sex education, I’ve been doing research on males who promise sexual abstinence since 2008.
My research indicates that, while men make this commitment with the hope of having a fulfilling marriage and sex life, they may find it difficult to make the transition to a married sexual life due to the beliefs they hold about sexuality and gender that go hand in hand with these pledges of abstinence.
The question is, who is making the “purity” promise?
Abstinence is something you do after you’ve been married for a long period, according to comedian Joy Behar, who made the joke last week. There are two assumptions made by Behar in this paragraph. According to one theory, sexual activity decreases with age and with time in a partnership. Certainly, this is accurate.
In addition, abstinence is not something that should be practiced before to marriage, as some believe. This is also true for the most part: by the age of 21, 85 percent of males and 81 percent of women in the United States have had sexual relations.
A ring of purity License: Creative Commons Attribution-ShareAlike 3.0 Unported
Consider the fact that the average age of first marriage in the United States is 27 for women and 29 for men. The conclusion is that the vast majority of individuals are having sexual relations before to marriage in the majority of countries.
Despite this, some women in the United States are taking “virginity promises,” in which they promise to abstain from sexual activity until they marry their partners. Many studies on this practice have shown that people who make promises do so while still in high school, most typically by signing a pledge card or by wearing a purity ring, respectively.
A few things we can learn from the research on this population: those who promise are more likely to be young women, and an abstinence vow, regardless of gender, only delays the commencement of sexual activity by around 18 months. Furthermore, making a vow to keep one’s virginity may sometimes lead to other forms of sexual activity being encouraged.
Guyana has virgins.
The males who promise and manage this commitment to abstinence, on the other hand, are a bit less well understood.
Because of these figures, I was intrigued about how men keep their commitments and how they balance them with preconceptions of what it means to be a “real man.” I started looking for a support group of 15 guys at an Evangelical church in the Southwest after I was diagnosed with bipolar disorder in 2008. In their early to mid-20s, all of the members were white and either single or casually dating. They also supported one another in their choice to abstain from alcohol until marriage.
During their weekly meetings, which consisted of people sitting on sofas eating pizza and talking about video games, they would finally get around to talking about the subject that drew them all together in the first place: sex.
For these young men, it would appear impossible to participate in “Guyland,” a developmental and social stage driven by a “guy code,” which requires, among other things, sexual conquest and detached intimacy. However, sociologist Michael Kimmel believes that these young men are capable of participating in “Guyland.”
As a result, the men of The River see sexual intimacy as a precious gift from God, one that should only be experienced inside the boundaries of the marital bed.. They are also dealing with what they refer to as the “beastly parts” of sexuality – or temptations – that they are facing at the same time. And it is exactly because of these so-called monstrous aspects that these males are drawn together in the same place on a weekly basis, as previously said.
The men of The River struggled with issues like as pornography usage, masturbation, lust, and yearning for the same-sex partner, all of which had the potential to derail these men from their oath of fidelity.
In this case, sex is both holy and monstrous, which creates a fascinating paradox. The way they manage this seeming contradiction, on the other hand, enables them to assert their masculinity in accordance with the needs of the people of Guyland.
In order to assist them avoid temptations, group members formed a complex network of accountability partners. An accountability partner, for example, may go through a person’s weekly web browsing history to ensure that they weren’t engaging in pornographic activity. An additional accountability partner contacted him each night to make certain that he and his girlfriend were “behaving.”
In spite of the fact that these activities may seem uncommon, they have the effect of allowing males to demonstrate their masculinity in meaningful ways. These men are able to discuss how difficult it is to refrain from the beastly urges by engaging in what sociologist Amy Wilkins refers to as “collective performances of temptation.” In doing so, they reinforce the stereotype that they are highly sexual men even when they are not engaging in sexual behavior.
Working in a similar manner is how The River operates as a support group. In a homosocial setting, these guys are able to validate their sexual urges – a finding that is comparable to Kimmel’s study in Guyland – and from which Kimmel concludes that “the experience of sex pales in contrast to the pleasure of talking about sex.
Unexpected consequences for a “holy gift”
The men of The River thought that the time and effort necessary to keep these promises would be rewarded in the form of a happy and healthy marriage in the long term.
Ciara, while addressing her pledge to abstinence with Russell Wilson, also said that she feels making such a vow is crucial for establishing a foundation of love and friendship with Russell. The author said, “If we have such a firm [foundation], we can overcome everything with love.”
How did things turn out after the River’s gentlemen tied the knot? My follow-up with them took place in 2011.
They had all married save for one. Even though they were promised that they would enjoy their “holy gift from God,” the adjustment to wedded life was not without its difficulties.
According to the responses, respondents continue to have issues with the monstrous aspects of their sexuality. The fact that they were having extramarital relationships was another source of anxiety for them. Further and probably most critically, males no longer received the assistance they needed to overcome their temptations.
These changes were brought about by a combination of factors.
The first factor was that respondents had been taught since they were children that women were not sexual. Additionally, these males had been taught that their women would be accessible for their enjoyment at any moment.
As long-held cultural beliefs about the link between femininity and purity have been held, this is an example of a double standard that is appropriate. As a result of this seeming paradox, males are apprehensive of opening up to the same woman with whom they are having sex.
They were not discussing sex with one other since they were wedded to each other. While the men did not openly discuss sex or temptation with their spouses (as they had done with their accountability partners), they did try to resist temptation by visualizing the devastation that any sexual deviations would bring their husbands.
Due to their own standards of masculinity, many guys were unable to reach out to their existing support networks. Marriage that was both sexually active and joyous had been offered to them as a precious treasure. Many were not completely content, as seen by the ongoing conflict between holy and monstrous elements of culture. However, admitting failure as a manly, Christian man would imply that one has given up on one’s dreams.
The study concludes that a promise of sexual abstinence contributes to the perpetuation of a masculine ideal that is detrimental to both men and women equally.
After 25 years of being preached that sex is a harmful thing that must be managed, the transition to married (and sexual) life is tough at best, and men are left without the support they need to succeed. While this is true, women are often excluded from the discussion.
We may be damaging the relationships that are the driving force behind these commitments when we advocate for abstinence instead of having healthy dialogues about sex and sexuality with others.
