9 Signs Your Relationship Is Emotionally Invalidating and How It Affects You.
Is your spouse very opinionated, to the point that they disregard other people’s ideas?
And, maybe a member of your family mocks and makes you doubt every emotion that you express.
They don’t bother to talk to you or even simply listen to what you have to say; instead, they pepper you with jokes like “stop being so sensitive!” and “you always overreact!”
These kinds of relationships often have their origins in emotional invalidation, which is a poisonous dynamic that may lead to mental health problems.
Let’s take a look at the warning signals and behavioral impacts of psychological invalidation so that you may better grasp the environment and find your way through it.
What exactly does “emotional invalidation” mean?
Our identities and sense of self-worth are significantly shaped by the ways in which we are validated. It aids in our comprehension of the world, in the formation of our perspectives, and in determining how and where we fit into the larger picture.
In a general sense, emotional invalidation occurs when another person disregards your emotions and perceptions by labeling them as being unimportant and unworthy of attention.
When we take these damaging messages about our value, emotional condition, and personhood to heart, we put our mental health at risk.
A feeling of being invalidated is a catalyst for negative behavioral and emotional reactions. When someone else puts us down, it means that:
Causes us to shut down and repress our emotions rather than address the situation head-on.
Increases one’s sense that they have no value.
Erodes self-esteem
Boosts levels of self-doubt
Because it may be verbal or nonverbal and might be unintentional or purposeful, invalidation is a kind of simple verbal abuse that is more difficult to negotiate than other sorts.
The following is a list of 9 signs that your relationship is emotionally invalidating you.
What does disregarding someone’s sentiments look like? Let’s look at some real-world instances of invalidation.
If you are dealing with someone who is employing these strategies against you, it may be worthwhile to attempt to have a conversation with them about it.
Also, keep an eye out for behaviors that you could be engaging in, and if it’s required, apologize to those whose experiences you may have rejected in the past.
Eye Rolling
Rolling one’s eyes at another person may be hilarious, but only when it’s done intentionally. However, when an eye-roll that wasn’t sarcastic falls in your lap, it’s not uncommon to experience the wrath of every Targaryen dragon.
In the end, it is impolite, and invalidating, and may have a profoundly detrimental impact. Therefore, you should aim to restrict the use of visual gymnastics to moments that are just funny.
“What’s With All of Your Feelings?”
Unfortuitously, a lot of people are brought up on the fallacy of stoicism and are taught starting from a pre-verbal age that exhibiting emotions is inappropriate or even sinful.
indications of emotional invalidation in your relationship, including a young couple combating these indicators
The findings of modern scientific research indicate the exact contrary. When we repress our thoughts and emotions, not only does it have a detrimental effect on our mental health, but it also has a bad influence on our physical health.
This makes questions like “why are you so emotional?” both invalidating and psychologically destructive.
Employing a Condescending Catch Phrase
Do you know someone who disagrees with what you’ve said by responding with a “catchphrase”? A common kind of sarcasm is the use of the phrases “I suppose” or “whatever” in a condescending and dismissive manner.
This irritating and passive-aggressive manner of responding is a habit that gives a cloak of plausible deniability.
Being on the receiving end of these sorts of conversation-killing gibes may drive a person insane, and it is a clear-cut example of emotionally invalidating behavior.
“Grow Up. “Grow Up and Stop Acting Like a Child!”
This is a phrase that parents often use on their children during outbursts of anger, but it is terminology that every mother, father, and guardian should eradicate from their collection of responses.
People are intricate entities that are subject to an infinite number of factors. No matter how old we are, we all make mistakes, and no matter how old we are, we all sometimes need a little coddling.
Things that occurred to us when we were younger might have a significant impact on our sociopsychological development as adults. Therefore, you should avoid telling individuals to “grow up” all the time. It is condescending, and employing it will make you seem to be a hypocrite.
“Problems Are a Part of Life for Everyone. “You Just Need to Get Over It.”
To compete in a “oppression Olympics” is almost never a smart idea. There are challenges facing everyone. But this does not imply that our personal suffering does not ache.
It is admirable to cast a broad net in terms of compassion. Sensitivity, empathy, and compassion are attributes that should be admired.
Recognizing that everyone has their own problems is a commendable act. However, using that fact as an excuse to silence other individuals is almost never a decent thing to do.
Taking a Look at Your Phone While We’re Talking
There are very few things that may be considered more impolite than staring at your phone the whole time you are talking to someone.
Not only does it communicate a lack of interest in what the other person is saying, but it is also an action that undermines their credibility.
It’s not always possible to avoid picking up the phone when someone calls. However, if you are hoping to make a significant connection, it is courteous to make that fact known right at the outset of the chat.
“You Are So Dependent!”
Someone’s world might come crashing down around them when they hear that they are “needy.” In addition, neediness is one of those things that we all show at one time or another, yet many people have a tendency to criticize the conduct of others even if they have been guilty of the same thing at some point in their lives.
It is typical for people to have needs. Certainly, there are certain circumstances in which it is not a good idea to be unduly possessive or clinging. However, when someone is going through a tough moment, it is borderline cruel to sneer at them and call them “needy.”
Avoiding Discussion (Brushing Under the Carpet)
It is a sign of immaturity to refuse to discuss a problem you are experiencing with a close friend, member of your family, spouse, or coworker.
Confrontation and conflict may be unsettling, yet working through our issues and developing as individuals requires us to do so.
When you firmly refuse to have a talk with someone in order to clear the air or listen to someone else’s grievances, you are rejecting the other person’s opinions, ideas, and emotions.
“You Shouldn’t Be So Sensitive!”
Being sensitive is not a negative attribute at all! It is beneficial to be mindful of your own feelings as well as tuned in to those of the people around you. Communicating effectively requires sensitivity on both sides of the conversation.
Ignore their requests the next time someone advises you to be less sensitive to things that happen around you. One of the most important roadsigns for effective communication is sensitivity.
Interrupting
It demonstrates an extreme level of self-centeredness to cut someone off in the middle of a sentence so that you may speak about yourself or bring the topic of discussion back to you.
Signs of emotional invalidation in your relationship might include your spouse becoming intimate with his wife.
For illustration’s sake, let’s assume that “Jane” has a serious illness and needs to be brought to the hospital. The event is terrifying, and the next day, she talks about it with her close friend “Emily.”
Emily cuts in on Jane after one minute of talking to tell the story of how she had to be taken to the hospital in an emergency once.
When two individuals have a similar experience, one of them may mistakenly believe that they are empathizing with the other. In spite of this, it is often wise to allow the individual who is going through a difficult period vent before turning the conversation back to one’s own experiences.
The phrase “It Could Be Worse.”
Everything may always turn up much worse! However, this does not negate the fact that what has transpired is unfortunate or harmful in any way.
Although it is spoken with well intentions, the phrase “It might be worse” comes out as quite dismissive. When someone we care about is feeling down in the dumps, it is our responsibility as friends and family members to validate the emotions that they are experiencing. We all experience pain in our own unique ways.
Put platitudes like “it might be worse” and “at least you…” on the back shelf of your mind. They are generally useless and should be avoided.
How To Handle Your Partner’s Nighttime Work.
7 Reasons Why Corrections Officers Lie
5 Things That Make A Guy Creepy
