8 Ways To Improve Your Listening Skills In Relationships
It’s likely that everyone has heard the phrase “Can’t you simply listen?” at some point in their lives. It’s possible that some of you have even heard it from your significant other. Communication is, without a doubt, a crucial component of a secure and healthy relationship, but it is comprised of two components: talking and listening.
Everybody speaks, but this time, the emphasis will be on the listening aspect of communication rather than the talking itself. Only a small percentage of the population listens while others converse. But what exactly can one do to improve one’s listening skills? Don’t be alarmed, though. Listed below are some suggestions to help you achieve your goal.
Increasing the frequency with which you listen
Want to learn how to listen more effectively? More listening is the number one recommendation. Perhaps you are the one who speaks so much that you have lost the ability to listen effectively.. In order to just listen to what your spouse has to say, it is never a bad idea to put one’s pride aside and prolong one’s patience for a while. It will become second nature to you if you begin to teach yourself to listen more often while you are speaking with your significant other.
Two-way communication is a must in today’s world.
Communication, as previously said, is a two-way street: when one person speaks, the other person listens attentively. Every now and again, these responsibilities are switched around. When these roles are not swapped at all, and just one person speaks and only one person listens, a dispute emerges between the two parties. Maintain your focus on the fact that you must know when to shut up and listen. If these roles are not alternated between two people in a relationship on a regular basis, good communication will never be possible.
Take Your Phone and Leave It the Side (or in Your Car).
It is critical that you put your phone down while chatting to your girlfriend or boyfriend, particularly if the subject is essential. That you respect the person who is speaking and that you are listening intently to what he or she has to say is shown by this gesture. While engaged in a face-to-face discussion, it is considered impolite to constantly check or fiddle with one’s phone. Turn your phone on quiet mode in order to be a better listener. Those e-mails and alerts can wait until you have a chance to listen.
4. Avoid interfering with the conversation.
It is also vital to remember that you should never interrupt someone who is speaking in order to improve your listening skills. Consider what he or she is saying and then wait until the speaker is through before expressing your opinion on the matter. You should consider his or her point of view on the subject matter, just as you would your own. When you interrupt someone who is speaking, you are being disrespectful. There are instances when individuals get so involved in the issue that they keep cutting off other people; if you find yourself in this situation, remember yourself to retain your cool and let the others to take turns.
Making eye contact is number five.
Consider the experience of conversing with someone who never looks at you or who stares at anything else other than you throughout the conversation. Having and maintaining eye contact is critical for being a good listener. It demonstrates to your girlfriend or boyfriend that you are completely absorbed in the subject matter.. In order to do this, you do not need to look them directly in the eyes; a simple casual appearance will enough, depending on the scenario. Additionally, making direct eye contact communicates to the person speaking that you are really interested in hearing what they have to say.
Look for Subtle Hints in Your Environment.
The ability to notice tiny cues is essential for improving one’s listening skills. Occasionally, you may be perplexed as to why your spouse becomes agitated after engaging in a casual chat with you for no apparent reason. A common reason why some individuals employ subliminal cues in their speech is because they do not wish to say anything clearly. Example: If your girlfriend expresses a desire to have spaghetti for supper, she may drop clues about it, and if you are not an attentive listener, you may not be able to detect these indications. Every listener should take down notes at some point.
7. Demonstrate a zealous attitude.
You should avoid engaging in conversation with someone who seems to be uninterested in the topic at hand. To be a good listener, you cannot just sit there and stare at your boyfriend or girlfriend; instead, you must demonstrate your interest in what he or she has to say.
Initiating the discussion first, looking for ways to broaden the subject, or asking follow-up questions are all examples of how you might do this. For those who are not in the mood to converse, it is preferable to give themselves some space and express clearly to their partner that they are not in the correct frame of mind to have an understandable conversation with him or her.
Wait for things to happen.
In order to improve as a listener, one of the most important qualities to possess is patience. Patience is one of the most important qualities to possess. It is necessary to have a tremendous degree of patience in order to be able to listen.
Your companion will almost certainly bring it up at some point throughout the day, and you will undoubtedly need it. Taking your time to listen offers the individual the opportunity to thoroughly convey what they want to say before moving on. If you feel yourself becoming frustrated, it is highly advised that you take many deep breaths and arrange time intervals for talking.
Respond in an appropriate manner.
You must also be receptive in order to become a better listener. When just one person is speaking and the other is simply nodding or shaking his or her head, it is not effective communication to be in such situation. If you are a good listener, you will be able to respond logically to any question that is thrown at you as a result of your attentiveness. Sometimes a simple yes or no may not enough to provide a satisfactory response to the question. Remember to participate in the discussion by asking questions and sharing your thoughts.
10. Take what he or she says to heart and act on it accordingly.
This is analogous to eating in that you cannot just consume food without also digesting it. Non-verbal communication requires more than simply listening; it necessitates internalization of what has been said. Keep an eye out for your spouse if he or she says anything that is upsetting him or her. Remember what duty was allocated to you and don’t allow him or her repeat himself or herself when he or she reminds you to do the responsibilities. This demonstrates that you not only pay attention, but that you also put into practice what you’ve learned from your interactions in your personal life as well.
It takes time and a lot of patience to improve your listening skills. You do not have to force yourself to be a good listener; rather, you must allow yourself to make these modifications gradually, particularly if you are not the kind of person who is accustomed to doing so. The act of communicating requires both speaking and listening time; thus, one must constantly make time to speak and listen simultaneously.
Make a mental note to put your personal issues to one side. Trying to concentrate on someone else while thinking about your issues, to-do list, or other worries will make it impossible. This leads to the next step.
Make sure you give yourself enough time. Unless you have an emergency meeting, you will want to go at a faster speed that is comfortable for you rather than the person who you are listening to.
You should speak less than you listen. Due to the fact that we have two ears and one mouth, you should communicate in the same proportion.
Make direct eye contact. It is difficult for someone to carry on a conversation with someone who is not looking them in the eyes.
Demonstrate some nonverbal behavior. Make use of head nods, uh-huhs, and other nonverbal cues.
These all serve to compel the other person to talk more. However, they should not be used on a whim when you are not paying attention. It diminishes their worth.
Demonstrate your ability to build rapport. When you are sincerely listening to and interested in the other person, your body language will be consistent with your thoughts and feelings about them.
There is a synchronization of posture, tone of speech, and so forth. Tilting your head to the side while sitting in your chair may be of great assistance to the patient.
Write a summary of what the other person has stated. So they are aware that you have heard them. This may be an effective method of moving the individual ahead.
This is stuff that is being reflected back.
Feelings should be reflected back.
Do you get the impression that the individual is depressed, furious, etc.? Inform them of this. “Do you sound a little depressed to me?”
Don’t put on a show. If you see that your focus has strayed, admit it.
Instead of making educated guesses, ask the individual to repeat what they have said. Your forthrightness would be much appreciated.
Please be patient.
People might be a little confusing or too talkative at times. You may assist them in telling their narrative, but do not force them to do it at a speed that is too fast for them.
Keep “Me too” remarks to a minimum. It is best not to explain how it affects you if you are paying attention to the other person and really want to assist them.
Think! Will this be of assistance to the other person? If not, put it off until another time. You run the danger of taking over the discourse.
Don’t put yourself in a defensive position.
If you are being offered feedback, pay attention to what the other person is telling you. Don’t interrupt with justifications until you’re certain you understand what the other person is trying to communicate.
They may have some useful remarks to say that you will miss if you stop them in the middle of what they are doing.
Wait until the other person has done speaking before formulating your answer. Some of the things they say will be missed because you are listening in.
If there is a pause, don’t hurry to fill it with anything. Hold your breath for double the amount of time that feels comfortable for you. Allow the other individual some space to consider their options.
Put yourself in their shoes for a moment. Don’t criticize or provide advise, and don’t try to repair it right away. Consider the situation from their point of view.
Recognize and acknowledge your biases. Is there a particular phrase (in filthy language) or person (in the background) that “gets under your skin?” Consider what you can do to be less judgmental in the future.
Perhaps you could tell them that for the next 20 minutes, you will focus only on them and let their opinions on immigration, for example, to wash over you.
Using the telephone as a means of communicating with someone requires you to work even harder to display active listening abilities. Make certain that you are not typing, flipping pages of a magazine, moving papers, or doing anything else distracting.
All of these actions reveal that you are just half-listening to what is being spoken to you.
Remove any external sources of distraction. If you are in an environment that is too hot, too cold, too loud, or too unpleasant, consider moving to a new area.
If you are in a position that requires a great deal of your concentration, you will be unable to focus.
Inquire about your own performance and seek comments. It is possible to enhance your abilities in this area by soliciting comments from others. People should be asked whether they thought they had been heard.
Look for methods to make yourself better. It will be beneficial not just the next time you encounter that individual, but also when you are actively listening to other individuals.
Pay close attention to how well others are able to listen. Take note of the ways in which other people make you feel heard, as well as the ways in which they do not.
It will assist you in determining the best course of action for your future development.
