6 Steps of Indonesian Engagement Tradition

1. The arrival of the groom’s relatives.

In Indonesia, the engagement ceremony began with a visit to the bride’s home by the groom’s family, who then exchanged rings. At the moment, both families are preparing for this visiting, which will take place soon.

 

 

 

 The bride’s family will then invite the groom’s family to their home or to another location, such as a hotel ballroom, since some families choose to bring their relatives or close friends to the engagement ceremony as well as their own. Typically, the groom’s family would offer presents for the bride, which are referred to as ‘Seserahan’ or ‘Hantaran’ in Indonesian custom.

 

 

 

2. The introductory paragraph

After the groom’s family and the bride’s family have blended together, the following procession is led by the MC, who has been nominated by the bride’s family. After the next procession is led by the MC, the ceremony is concluded.

 

 

The host or master of ceremonies will welcome and thank everyone for their participation in this engagement ceremony, which is frequently followed by a prayer to beg for God’s blessing. The host or MC will next provide a brief overview of the engagement event’s schedule. And following that, the host or MC would normally give a brief anecdote about the groom and the bride, after which the host will officially inquire as to the desire of the groom’s family to pay a visit that day to the wedding reception.

 

 

 

3. The proposed solution

Following the introductory remarks, a member of the groom’s family will respond, stating that the purpose of the gathering is to propose to the future bride. Afterwards, the speaker inquires of the bride if she is willing to marry the groom or not, and in most cases, the bride responds positively.

 

 

 

 

4. The bride’s family will provide the response.

Following the groom’s proposal, the bride’s family should respond; if the groom’s proposal is accepted, the bride’s family will respond in a welcome and supportive manner, and then both families will begin making arrangements for the wedding, which will take place shortly after.

The bride’s family is presented with seserahan, or presents, at this step.

 

 

 

 

Following the acceptance of the proposal by the bride’s family, the groom’s family will give the bride with presents known as’seserahan.’ The presents serve as a sign for the groom. The presents convey the message that the groom intends to propose to the bride in a serious manner. The presents are normally based on an agreement between the groom and the bride’s family and vary from the bride’s everyday essentials such as clothing, make-up, and sometimes even food, to more extravagant gifts.

 

 

 

 

6. The exchange of a ring

Traditionally, the Indonesian rite of engagement included exchanging rings. In addition, the bride’s mother will typically place the ring on the groom’s finger, while the groom’s mother will typically place the ring on the bride’s finger.

 

 

 

 

7. A brief introduction to the family

The next ceremony would be the introduction session, during which both the bride’s family and the groom’s family would present themselves to each other and exchange greetings. It is customary to begin with the groom’s family and then go on to the bride’s family after that. Typically, the environment is less formal than it was at the beginning of the session.

 

 

 

 

8. The formal conclusion of the engagement ceremony.

Because all of the rituals have already taken place, it is customary to finish the event with a prayer to express gratitude to God for the flawless running of the engagement ceremony. Because the host has already led the prayer, this implies that the ceremony has already concluded, and the following step is often a family photograph taken with both families.

 

 

 

 

 

 

9. Have lunch or supper with a group of people.

After the bride’s family has completed shooting photos of both families, the groom’s family and the guests will be invited to a lunch or supper with the bride’s family. This session also provides an opportunity for attendees to engage in informal conversation with one another in a less formal setting.

 

 

 

There is a distinction between an Indonesian engagement and a wedding event.
Those are the engagement traditions in Indonesia in general; however, since Indonesia is made up of more than 17000 islands and contains more than 300 ethnic groups, the traditions may differ from one region to another. 

 

 

 

 

Following that, we’ll discuss about the differences between an engagement ring and a wedding ring in Indonesian tradition. Is there a difference between a wedding band and an engagement ring? However, the answer is no, they are not the same, and here is why:

 

 

 

The engagement ring is usually worn by itself; it is not need to be a set of two rings. This means that the groom-to-be might offer it to the bride-to-be as a sign of his claim to the woman’s affection.

 

 

 

The presence of an engagement ring might be a hint that the groom-to-be is already financially prepared to marry the bride-to-be and that he want to demonstrate this to her family.
It is possible that the engagement ring will also serve as the wedding ring. The groom must be certain that the woman to whom he is proposing will accept his proposal and enter into a legally binding marriage agreement. 

 

 

 

However, if they are both unsure about whether they want to be married or not, it would be best if they purchased an engagement ring first.
In western countries, such as the United States, the engagement ring is traditionally put on the bride’s left pinky finger. Typically, the ring is constructed of gold or silver, with a variety of different-sized diamonds set in the center.

 

 

Wedding rings are seldom made with a large center diamond; instead, most individuals choose for smaller diamonds in their wedding rings instead of larger ones.

 

 

 

Indonesia has a unique and traditional way of getting engaged.
We will provide you a few examples of Indonesian engagement traditions that are peculiar to another ethnic group:

 

 

 

1. The Betawi Tradition of Engagement

Engagement is very essential for the Betawi ethnic group, and it is referred to as ‘ngelamar’. It is a formal request from the groom’s (calon tuan mantu) family to the bride’s (calon none mantu) family on behalf of the groom’s family. The soon-to-be groom’s family receives the response from the soon-to-be bride’s family at that point. They will make a decision on the prerequisites for marriage at the same time. One of the requirements is that the bride-to-be completes the whole Qur’an before she may be married.

 

 

 

After that, there is a’seserahan’ (gift exchange) during this engagement ceremony, and the presents are often loaded with sirih lamaran, banana, simple bread, fruits, and clothing, as well as other things. Additionally, this means that the bride’s to be is connected to the groom’s to be once the groom’s to be places the ring on the bride’s to be finger after the groom’s to be

 

 

 

 

 

2. Minangkabau Wedding Customs and Rituals

The bride’s to be family will pay a visit to the bride’s to be family in order to ask the groom’s to be to marry her. Following the acceptance of the groom’s to-be family, they will exchange wedding rings to indicate that they have tied the knot and gained each other’s trust. Both large families will be present at this occasion.

 

 

 

 

 

The bride’s to be family will present’seserahan’ or gifts, which will be followed by refreshments such as fruits and cakes. They may also bring traditional items such as keris, traditional cloth, or other items that have historical significance to the bride’s to be family. These heirlooms will be restored to their rightful owners when the marriage vows are exchanged.

 

 

 

 

 

3.Traditions of Papua Weddings and Engagements

Relationships are very important in Papua, and the traditions around involvement in Papua are quite distinct and different from those of other regions in Indonesia. It is customary in Papua to have two types of engagement traditions. The first takes place when both of the pair are quite young (more or less about 12 years old), and the boy’s parents would come and ask the girl’s parents to marry them. 

 

 

 

This tradition is known as ‘Sanepan’. The second ceremony, known as ‘Fakfuken,’ occurs when both of the groom’s to be parents propose to the bride’s to be parents after both of the pair have reached the age of 15 years. A bracelet or necklace with beads will be brought by the groom’s side as an introduction sign when the groom is going to propose to the bride-to-be. Kaken is a Japanese word that means “introduction symbol.”

 

 

 

 

 

There are no statutory restrictions for the presents, including the number and kind of gifts that the groom’s party should provide. If the seserahan from the groom’s to be family is accepted by the bride’s to be family, then the bride’s family is also required to provide seserahan to the groom’s family as an introductory sign to the groom.

 

 

 

 

If both parties accept on the proposal, then both families will work together to prepare the wedding, including deciding on the jewelry or mas kawin to be worn during the reception. A kind of mas kawin known as a ‘Kamfar’ is often filled with a bracelet made of seashells. If the groom’s to be comes from a wealthy family, the groom’s to be will present the bride’s to be with a boat as a’mas kawin’ (welcome gift). 

 

 

 

 

However, in recent years, they have replaced the’mas kawin’ with a silver bracelet. Following the decision of the’mas kawin’ by both families, both families are now on their way to the leader of the ethnic group. In Papua, the head of an ethnic group has a significant role in society. As a result, both families will decide on the date of the wedding after the head of the ethnic group informs them of the optimum time to marry. All of the wedding preparations are then completed only a week before the big day itself.

 

 

 

 

 

Indeed, an engagement party brings a couple one step closer to their wedding day. By participating in an engagement ceremony, the couple declares that they are committed to their relationship and are prepared to embark on their future life together. In the meanwhile, Indonesia has a plethora of unique engagement customs to offer. In case you haven’t heard, it’s important to spread love wherever you go.